Authors Note:This is my first time writing a fanfiction for Johnny The Homicidal Maniac,also know as JTHM.:) As you know,it's made by Jhonen Vasquez,the creator of Invader Zim,another series I love. I just found out about JTHM and I haven't read the comic book series completely but I've read parts of is an amazing and awesome serial killer,he's my favorite homicidal maniac too. I tried my best on focusing of how he would react to certain things and what he would say to people or think of people.I don't have his complete character down nor do I know an adequate amount of information about him or the other assured,I will read the book since my sister is buying it.I'll be sure to update this story as soon as I can and I'll fix any problems that are in this story like the characters being out of character but I might not change it because a little ooc'ness isn't all that bad once in a ,I hope you enjoy my to review it please.^w^ Thank you!
Oh,how I detest sleep. I've better things to do than resting my brain which I do not need to do. Hello all,my name is Johnny and I hate Satan's attitude,the physical and mental need for ANYTHING,being shot in the head,people who've just "GOTTA HAVE A SMOKE!",irritating words such as wacky etc.,etc.,you get the point,losing my mind,humidity,and being abducted by aliens.
Just one thing before I tell you a little more about myself,just because we've similar interests doesn't mean that we'll get along. My foot up your fucking ass will prove that to you or you can experience being fucked with steel,if you catch my drift. Sigh. All of you imbeciles disgust me. You're all a waste of God's time and blood in my opinion,oh,wait,no,you are worthless worms!
Cough. Anyway,I've got to go paint the walls with blood yet again to keep the monster from escaping. Ah,yes. He's a scary monster who doesn't like being kept inside at all times but I need to prevent his escape. By the way,you can call me NNY for short. I find it easier to use that name instead of Johnny.
Damn it!The stupid talking pig won't shut the hell up! God,these things always talk to me! Hmm. I shall go see the neighbor boy instead! Yeeessss! I'll do that instead of not allowing the monster to escape! Wait,no! I need to get this done by today! If only I had more time then I could do both things. I'll think it through eventually. Grr! I'm losing my head! Sigh. Okay,okay. I shall now describe what is actually going on around me instead of rambling on like a neanderthal.
My day will begin like this,once upon a time there was a little boy named Johnny. WAAAAIIIITTTT! I found poprocks! MINE! Muahahahaha! YES! I love these things! NOM NOM NOM! Ha ha ha ha! Buuurrrppp! Pant. Pant . PANT. Woo. Okay. I 'm done now.
What filth these incompetent maggots people are. They disgust me. I spot a lonely cherub faced boy by my lunch table. He's the school bully and I despise these type who force people unwillingly to do their bidding. Yes. He'll make a fine feast for the monster with his delicious iron flavored liquid. A rose shall be painted upon my walls!Heh!
I slide over to his table and gently wrap my arm around him grinning so wide that my gums show along with my monstrous pearl white chompers. "Why hello are you todaaayyyy?" I tap my finger against his shoulder with the beat of the wings of a thousand flies. His fat slob of a head twists around to meet my sharp porcelain skinned face.
"Oh,hey emo boy. Would you mind leaving me the fuck alone?I'm trying to eat here." Emo?Of all disgustingly wretched things,I am NOTHING like those pathetic whiny children who cut themselves. I am seething with intense rage like lava bombs shooting lightning quick out of Krakatoa's broad abyss of a mouth. My eye twitches twice.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me emo,Thomas." I slam my hand down on his tray splattering mashed potatoes with brown-gold gravy on his fat face. "Would you be so kind as to escort me outside so we can settle this like two monkeys fighting over their own feces?" I chuckle a drum line of low sounds.
"Of course shit head." He picks me up by the collar of my shirt and hauls me all the way into the custodian's room. Here I go. It's time to kill a pig.
He slams my skinny body against the door with his fat sausages wrapped around my neck. I laugh insanely enough to cause him to freeze in fear at my laughter and release me from his hold. "W-What the hell are you laughing for you skinny shit?"
My grin grows wider as I take out the rusty saw I borrowed from my neighbor that was used to cut off the limbs of trees. I name the saw "Cake" because it will be caked in blood after I'm through with him. He squeals like the fat greasy pig he is when I slowly saw off his head. Dismembering him is a soothing remedy to me. His chaotic screams are music to my sensitive ears. When I'm done with him I search for buckets to deposit his fatty rich blood in. Finally,within a few mere blissful minutes of enjoying the scene of red velvet,I find enough buckets to fill gallons and gallons of blood and body parts. Delicious,don't you think?
I clean up all that I can with the bleach and vomit scented,murky,gray mop water. Heh,how I loathe a custodian's domain. This is putrid,although,it's helpful too. Grr. Fatty made such a huge mess,dammit! Now I have to haul his fat ass out of here!
As soon as I finish bleaching the whole damn place and disinfecting it,I clench a bucket of filth in each hand and a bucket in my mouth held by the slippery,red stained handle. Mission accomplished now,all I have to do is get the hell out of here without being caught.
"Squee,get over here and help me now!" I yell over to Squee out of urgency. It turns out that the little guy followed me and he's outside that door right now. I don't know how he managed to go unnoticed but he did. He gently opens the door and it squeaks.
"Um,yes,NNY. I'll help you." I watch as Squee relieves my left and right arms of the weight. I set down the bucket in my mouth careful not to spill any of its contents. I eye Squee and then direct his attention to the garbage in the large metal bucket.
"Do you see that Squee?" He nods ten times frantically. "Yes. That there is a perfect example of the fucked up world we live in. He screamed for God to save him but he doesn't hear anyone's desperate and pleading cries. He is a tyrant to me. Go find a wagon please. We need to transfer all of this over to my house. Won't your parents be angry if they catch you missing school?"
"My parents could care less about what I do. They want me to stay out of their way and they scream at me to go and get kidnapped." His face is a shadow of disappointment and anguish. I switch the subject back to the wagon.
"I'm sorry Squee. I really am for you. Your parents are horrible. Can you get the wagon now?" I pat his shoulder and smile warmly at him. He's rather cute I suppose. His small form would spark the interests of pedophiles and I am here to protect my friend. If they touch him I'll kill the fucking vile pieces of shit who dare lay so much as an skin cell on him
Squee reluctantly sprints out of the room and arrives back huffing and puffing with a wagon of exceptional length,width,and height. "Good job. Let's go home now." He holds the door open for me and I survey the surrounding area for a potential passersby. I take two hesitant steps out and pull the wagon out without making the slightest high pitched squeak.
I run like hell as soon as I'm all the way out. "RUN SQUEE!RUN FOR YOUR LIFE BEFORE THEY CATCH YOU! Even though I'm running like the boy who slept with the farmer's daughter that doesn't mean that I'm abandoning you!Hurry Squee!" My ears catch the hurried pounding of his tiny feet against the concrete. He catches up to me and we're both hyperventilating as we sprint through and across society's freshly trimmed bushes and lush green lawns.
An old man waves his cane back and forth at both of us and yells in a husky,tired voice, "You God damn hippies are always doing crazy shit! Stop smoking pot! Free love my ass!" Irritation is the first thing I feel toward the old fart. My hand reaches into one of the buckets and I hurl the fat boy's bladder at him with urine still inside of it.
"Yes! Muahahahaha! Revenge Squee! It's revenge I say!" Squee giggles like the cheery young boy he is while I chuckle in a hysterical and ludicrous tone. We're having one hell of a damn good time. I used to be that happy boy Squee is now but now I'm a wretched guy. At least I have Squee to help me with learning how to experience joy again. He's practically my younger brother. I love the little guy. I thought I was never capable of loving anything and here I am admiring him and his innocence. He's what keeps me going. He's my savior.
