First You Cry
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. The title is borrowed from Betty Rollins book on her struggle with breast cancer.
Chapter 1 – Discovery
The alarm went off and Stella moaned as she turned it off. The clock read 6:15 am. Oh how she dreaded Monday mornings. The television remote was on the nightstand and she clicked it on to listen to the news as her morning routine began. After watching for a few moments and seeing that there was nothing unusual in the headlines she got up. Passing the calendar on the wall as she entered the bathroom she noticed today's date was circled in pink. Stella made a mental note of it as she strode to the shower and turned on the water.
The warm water felt good. It was mid October and the weather was beginning to get cold. As she moved her hand over her left breast she froze. Something was not right. She felt again. "What is that?" She thought. Her heart was in her throat. "Oh my God, no it can't be!" She looked down and felt again with the same result. A lump, it was definitely a lump. Now the water was not comforting but a distraction. She turned the handle to off and jumped out of the shower. Quickly drying off she looked in the mirror for any visible sign, nothing. Everything looked perfectly normal. Her hand moved up again to feel the area. "There it is, oh God, oh God please no, please, please no." Tears began to spring from her eyes. Her mind was racing with questions. "How could this be? How long has it been there? Why didn't I feel it earlier? What am I going to do?" Stella was on the verge of losing it when an inner voice took over. "Calm down, take a deep breath, and now take another one. Okay, think this through." She took one last look in the mirror and then donned her robe and headed into the bedroom.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed she reached for her address book in the drawer of the nightstand. "I need to make an appointment with Dr. Phillips." She found the page and quickly dialed the number. A recording delivered the message, "You have reached the office of Dr. Sarah Phillips. Office hours are Monday – Friday from 9:00 am till 4:00 pm except Wednesday when the office closes at 12:00 pm. If this is an emergency …" "Damn!" She screamed as she slammed the cell phone. "I can't wait until 9:00 am! Now what? I need to call the office and let them know I won't be in today. There's no way I can focus on work. What am I going to tell Mac? It's too early for him to be in – hopefully anyway. I can leave a message. That should buy me some time." She thought for a moment and then dialed. The machine picked up and she left the following message. "Mac, it's Stella. Listen, I must have picked up a bug or something. Last night was pretty miserable. I'm better now but exhausted. I'm gonna stay home, turn off the phone and try to get some sleep. With any luck I'll be in tomorrow. Talk to you later."
She glanced at the clock; it read 6:45 am. Now what? What do I do until I can call the doctor? Just then one of Mac's famous quotes popped into her head. "Knowledge is power" She headed for her laptop. For the next two hours Stella scoured the Internet collecting information on breast cancer. By 8:45 she had a well organized folder with sections on screenings, biopsies, diagnosis, and treatment. Stella was slightly comforted by the fact that 80 percent of all lumps are non-cancerous but troubled by the fact that she had no way of knowing her risk factors since her family history was a total mystery. It was time to call the doctor's office again. After a few agonizing moments on hold she was speaking to the doctor and could have an appointment right away. She dressed quickly, grabbed her purse and folder and was out the door as the clock struck 9:00 am.
Mac arrived at the lab around 7:00 am. He wanted to look over the evidence his team had collected on a particularly gruesome murder. As he sat down his eyes moved to the blinking light of the answering machine. A frown formed on his face as he listened to Stella's message. His first instinct was to call and make sure she was okay. He knew she would have to be really sick to stay home. Then again she was always chastising members of the team when they came to work sick and spreading their germs all over the lab; maybe she was finally heeding her own advice. He decided to let her rest. He'd call at the end of the shift and bring her some soup on the way home. He erased the message and opened the folder. It was going to be a long day and on top of the work he had to do he had a nagging worry on his mind, Stella.
