Story Title: Every Man's Worst Nightmare
Rating: T (for language)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries.
Summary: Katherine's got a horrible surprise for Damon in the form of a blast from the past.
A/N: Just a quickie crack fic cause I felt like it. Ohohohoho!
"Oh, don't worry, Damon. I'm not going to kill you. I won't even harm your precious Elena. Oh no. I've got something much worse in mind for you. Something that will ruin the rest of your undead life. A fitting punishment for locking me in that tomb for over a month. Just you wait."
Katherine's words kept ringing in Damon's head over and over. He was sitting in front of the boarding house fireplace having a scotch with Stefan, it was late at night. He just couldn't imagine what Katherine could have up her sleeve this time. Worse than killing Elena? That simply wasn't possible. Besides it had been over a week since she'd left town. And so far nothing had happened. She must have been bluffing. Yes! Having him constantly looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life waiting for the hammer to fall, that was a terrible fate indeed…
"Damon are you listening to me?" Stefan was staring at him with a concerned look as usual.
"You aren't still worrying about Katherine's threat are you?" he asked rolling his eyes. Damon didn't answer.
"Look if there's one thing we know about Katherine its that's she does nothing but lie. She was bluffing. So don't worry about it! She's just trying to get under your skin. Lets just be happy she's gone." Stefan encouraged.
"You're right!" Damon said calming a little. "I don't know what I was so worried about. I just wish we'd staked the bitch while we had the chance…"
Just then the boarding house doorbell rang.
"I'll get it." said Stefan putting down his glass and heading towards the door. Damon guessed it was probably Bonnie. She seemed to be the only one who bothered using the doorbell anymore. Everyone else just barged in like it was their own damn house. He wondered what Elena problem the little witch needed help with now, as he took another sip of his drink.
Stefan returned a few minutes later with Bonnie in tow. Damon looked up. No, wait. It wasn't bonnie. It was another young black woman. She wasn't half bad looking, he decided. He then noticed she was holding two brats in her arms, and changed his mind about her.
"Who's your friend, Stefan?" He asked with a smirk.
"Um, actually she says she's here to see you…" Stefan replied looking confused.
The young woman stepped forward. "Oh hell no, motherfucker! Don't tell me you've forgotten me already?" she said twisting her head about in an angry matter. "I know its been a while, but damn! Really?"
Damon stood. She did look vaguely familiar but he could tell this woman would be nothing but trouble.
"I'm sorry I think you have the wrong house." He said turning his back on them to face the fireplace.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me! You really have forgotten me, you worthless asshole! Mhm! Well I guess it would be easy for you to forget wouldn't it? Its me, Lettie." there was no warmth in her voice.
Lettie… Damon thought. That name sounded familiar too…
"Lettie!" cried Stefan. "Oh my god! It can't be!"
So this Lettie character was someone Stefan knew as well? Hmmm… Then it hit him. He choked on his Scotch. This couldn't be happening! He turned to look at her again, with wide eyes. It was her, alright. He then took a good look at the two brats she was holding. They both looked to be about two. They had olive toned skin, jet black lightly curled hair, full pouty pink lips, and unmistakable dazzling blue heavy lidded eyes. Oh good god no! His fear must have shown on his face, because Lettie broke out in a nasty smile.
"That's right Damon. That Lettie." she said, jutting her hip out.
Damon hissed in a slow breath. It was in 1861, right here in Mystic Falls. He'd been a young carefree rich teenager. Lettie was one of the house slaves. He'd been having a more or less one sided affair with her for months. After all what were house slaves for? When it was discovered that she was pregnant, his father had sold her south to protect the family name. He hadn't meant to forget per say… But with his joining the war, deserting the war, Katherine coming to town, him dieing and becoming a vampire, he'd just had other things on his mind. But what was she doing here now? And with these brats? They should all be dead by now. It couldn't be! Damn you, Katherine…
It looked as if Stefan was putting two and two together as well, by the way he kept looking back and forth between Damon and the two kids. His face was growing very horrified and he was awkwardly backing towards a corner of the room. Lettie however advanced on Damon with the brats.
"I bet you thought you'd never see me again! Unlucky for you some bitch named Katherine found me and the kids right after the war and turned us. Do you know how hard it was to spend nearly two hundred years as a single mother of two? Well not anymore! Katherine found me a few days ago and filled me in on what you'd been doing these past years and gave me your address. Imagine my surprise to find you still living here in Mystic Falls amongst the towns people like a human! I never would of thought of it! Couldn't have if I wanted to, anyway. You see no one ever gave me or the kids one of those magic rings…" She looked livid as she shoved the kids into Damon's unwilling arms. It seemed he couldn't find his voice.
"This is your daddy." she said to them, grabbing Damon's glass and taking a sip.
"You're gunna stay with him and your uncle Stefan for a while."
"What?" He and Stefan said in unison.
She ignored them. "Mommy's gunna go on a little vacation…" She said sweetly as she snatched the ring off Damon's finger.
"Hey!-" he started to protest.
"Oh, this doesn't even begin to cover the two hundred years of child support you owe me, motherfucker!" She said waving her finger wildly in front of his face. "But it's a start…" she slipped the ring around a chain on her neck.
"I'll be back to collect the rest later. If I come back…" and with that she zoomed out of the boarding house with vampire speed.
It was silent except for the crackling of the fire for a second as the brats squirmed in Damon's arms.
"So, let me get this straight…" Stefan began stepping back into the middle of the room now that Lettie was gone, with a bemused smile on his face. "These would be you're undead, eternal, illegitimate children?" he said pointing at the brats. "And that was your undead, eternal, vengeful baby's mama?" He concluded.
Damon was red faced stunned and speechless. One of the brats threw up on his expensive shirt and the other one started crying. It was Damon's worst nightmare.
Stefan let out a snort of laughter. "Damn! I guess she really wasn't bluffing! Katherine really fucked you this time!"
Bahahaha! Oh Baby's Mamas... Poor Damon. Serves him right, though I suppose... I don't know if I should continue this ridiculous story or just leave it as a one shot. It might be pretty funny/adorable to see the Salvatore bros trying to raise kids amidst all the drama they're already dealing with. We'll see... Hope you enjoyed it! Bye!
