Chapter 1: A Hypnotic Start

I came to in a garden of blue flowers. For some reason, this was the first thing I noticed. Only then did it register that the sky was black. There was still light, the sun peeking through dark clouds, resting its rays upon the garden. But looking up, my eyes could only find an abyss of gray and black, an ash and soot filled horizon. Breathing, gasping, I found the air to be clear, crystal even. As if I was on a mountain and, after spending a lifetime sheltered in the city, finally understood what was meant by "fresh air". Greedily breathing it in and finding my courage, I sat up. I was nearly overcome with dizziness but by digging my nails into the soft earth, I was able to steady myself. My ears rung as my vision seemed to zoom in and out of focus. Turning wildly, I was able to grasp that I was on a hill, housing only blue flowers. Blue of every shade, no doubt, but only blue above the green pasture. The garden was fenced in and well taken care of but looking beyond the gate, I could only see a dry and desolate grassland, a dying, yellow looking thing. Almost as if all the moisture in the land had been drawn to this one little space. A patch of perfect beauty. However, despite some insects and the sound of bees, I couldn't find signs of other life. Just me, alone. No homes, no traffic, no planes. Alone. Left to wonder only about myself, I came to an inescapable question:

Who am I?

No, really. Who the hell was I? What was my name? I knew I had one…C…something. I introduced myself all the time! I had to! I worked for a...that…oh fuck. Who did I work for? What did we do? Stuff. We did stuff. Oh, that was helpful, brain. Yeah, cuz talking to your brain like it's separate from yourself is definitely helpful. Shut up, brain.

I took a breath and looked around again, realizing I had no idea how I'd gotten here. The garden seemed to have a weird calming effect. As I spotted the flowers, I wanted to lay back down, rest a little, I worked too much. But then I realized that was CRAZY. I needed to get the fuck out of here. Once I figured out where here was. I looked past the fences and saw a worn out road but the end of it disappeared into the horizon and seeing how I was looking at it from the highest point, that must be really, really far away. Miles, and miles. But, I saw no other signs of civilization. Even the sky seemed out of place. It didn't look like this. It was beautiful; blue with white fluffy clouds lazily meandering across it. I know it. I watched the sky. You don't even know your name, how would you know the sky? SHUT UP, BRAIN.

I attempted to stand, and was surprised when my legs didn't support me. I fell back down, resting on my knees. That's when I noticed that I was filthy and injured. Dirt, manure and dry blood coated me. There was a pain at my hip and I realized I had a thin cut on it, scabbed over. My back was sore, as if I'd fallen and landed on it. But perhaps the most disconcerting was the fact that I was wearing a semi short white dress. I didn't wear dresses! I wore…something else. Not dresses. Dresses were for girls…and I was…well, a girl, but not a dress wearing girl.

Honey, you need to get your priorities straight. The fact that you're wearing a dress is not the most pressing concern right now.

Shut up, brain. What do you know? I have to-

I'M NOT YOUR BRAIN!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING TURTLE FUCK, did my brain just interrupt me? How do thoughts interrupt themselves?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!

I'm not your brain and I'm not your thoughts. My name is Ashe. And the questions you need to be asking are: who are we, how did we get here and how do we get home?

Oh fuck. Realization coming to me in a rush of fear, panic, isolation, loneliness and forgotten pain. I remembered what had haunted me since I was a child, the dreams, the visions, the constant headaches. I was a schizophrenic psychic medium.

And this was my hell.