"I'll admit sometimes I feel like something is wrong. I know it's stupid I mean I'm one of those guys that have an okay life."

I was sitting down in a chair in a psychiatrist's office for a company regulated visit.

I sat down scanning the walls looking over each award and certificate written to J Rawls Preston for highest achievement.

I turned my gaze to the doctor who was pretending to scan over his notes as he nodded as he listened.

"Well Mr. Anderson I know how you feel about these visits but they are mandatory as by Johns and National to insure Top effectiveness in employee functionality. How about you discuss a little bit about your life? Is there much pressure with being married or your position at Johns and National that's bothering you?"

"Sure I'm a little young but I'm happily married at 28 to a beautiful, intelligent and fun woman that is from a well respected family(although her folks still haven't warmed up to me yet) Sure there is a lot of pressure in our relationship but I love my wife and We find ways to make it work."

The doctor adjusted his glasses while he smiled.

"Aren't you intimidated sometimes by your wife's success over you? Some men seem to have this trouble with their wife making more of an income then them."

I knew this question might come up but I was prepared.

"Sure my job isn't high class but it gets what it needs to get done. A job is only a means of income to me and not some sport as to who can make the most income."

The doctor shifted in his seat before continuing.

"Well Mr. Anderson if you mind me asking for the final check up how is your relationship with your family?"

I knew this question was going to come up but it threw me for a loop. I hated my dad and my mom didn't exactly approve of my early marriage or my choice to drop college. Heck I disliked most of my family and the only one I kept in contact with was my first younger sister.

"It's doing good..."

The doctor stared at me like he wanted me to go into better detail.

"I visit my family whenever I get the chance and I make sure to call them every day."

The doctor was about to say something before he heard the 30 min timer ring on his folder cluttered desk.

"Oh it seems we are bought out of time for this month Mr. Anderson."

I felt my body ache all over as I rose to get off the brown psychiatrist's chair.

I stretched and popped my neck and arms while he pulled out a yellow paper and handed it to me.

"Here's you pass to work to tell them you took your visit Mr. Anderson. Now I'll see you in another 3 months."

He put out his hand and I shook it with a smile on my face.

"See you later Doctor Preston."

I walked out of the building in hurried strides until I was safely in my car with keys in hand.

God was I glad I was out of the lion's den. These company shrinks try to find just something wrong with you so they could give you the boot.

To be honest my life wasn't the picture I drew for that quack.

I felt the click as the 2006 ford explorer sprung to life and hummed.

My job at the bank was garbage and I'm more or less mocked for it by my family and my wife's family.

"Why must you marry a college dropout Emily? He is stuck at a pencil pusher job at a company and you could do some much better?"

God I heard it all. They were too "thrilled" when we announced our plans and her brother even threatened me with a gun (which Emily doesn't believe). Even to this day those bastards still remind their daughter how she can ditch a loser like me because we haven't had kids and they think me ever oblivious while they continue to mock and degrade me just because I'm not some high class big shot like everybody in her family.

When we visit I know Emily notices but why does she keep trying? Does she enjoy this or something...?

Nah Emily is just trying to get us together no matter how hard.

One thing I got to say is her folks love her.

Wish I could say the same about my family.

When I dropped college my mom never really forgave me... She told me I was a fool and I was throwing my life away but what I wanted in life could not be achieved by going to college and wasting time with books and besides college plus no experience was nothing anyway.

Turns out degree holders became more valuable to society and colleges raised their standards for admissions in response.

I like to see myself as an intelligent guy but with my job and not much desire to want to go back I just lost interest in college.

My job as a teller was okay for a while but it got dull and the constant submitting to higher ups eventually grates. It's not what I want but life is all about compromising and hoping it doesn't kick you in the teeth.

I moved on and got the job I'm stuck with now and I try to talk to her sometimes but it's mostly a muffled conversation that leads to college and the anger destroys the conversation.

As with my family I'm some disappointment compared to my siblings.

First older brother on my mom's side a lawyer working with a doing okay firm, a younger sister who is in the navy and gets to travel and is so independent while my older sister has her some accounting degree and works for some company making lots of money.

Fuck who gives a damn...

In my life Emily is the only thing keeping me going. When I first met her at a group college party those years ago it was love at first site. Usually at these things with people cussing loudly and blazing loud rock at high levels I just sit for 30 minutes and then go chill outside till my ride or friends got done but then I saw her shifting uncomfortably on a couch and for some reason she was invisible to everybody else.

I figured what the hell and walked over, smiled and said hey to her despite the loud music in the back.

She smiled and I barely heard her over the yelling of the room.

I can barely remember as time is a bitch but we hit it off pretty well and we eventually got together after a month.

It was odd when I found out who her family was pretty much rich and well known in the medical business but I panned through the storm when I told them I was in college to be a computer engineer but the shit hit the fan when I dropped out.

At least Emily stood by me and told me it was my decision. She said college is not for everybody and for some reason in the back of my head I was angry even though she was on my side.

But man when we got married things got out of control but we flew through it.

It's funny but Emily asked me to marry her which I accepted (I didn't have the guts to ask her with my dropping out).

Her parents though still to this day and despite her saying thing I seduced her or am blackmailing her into this.

Life was cluttered but with Emily here I could deal with anything life throws at me.

Against my better judgment I moved to New York but to find a job I had to make sacrifices even though the city smells like crap.

I pulled in front of Daisy Mays apartment complex which despite the name is not really as homey as you would figure. It's just gray and green all over the walls with the old gated doors that you have to unlock from out and inside your own place. From the carpeting, doors and colors on the wall you could tell the place was old but at least the elevator worked.

As the elevator pulled up to my floor I fumbled for my key and ended up pulling it along with my iPod video out of my pocket and I was helpless to watch it hit the floor.

It made a few clicking noises before I picked it up, cut it off and shoved it into my pocket.

This thing was old but helped me stay calm at work and I have had it since I was 18 and it still works.

Guess not all of apples products aren't crap.

I made my way to my room door. Room 218 with a large nasty gray stain near the handle on the right side through the gate.

I unlocked the gate door and finally the door to step inside my apartment.

My apartment is a 3 room pad with a kitchen and living room combined with the washroom slash bathroom with shower to the far right and bedroom to the far left.

All this still cost us an arm and leg because this was New York but thanks to Emily we can cover this no problem.

I looked around the apartment for Emily until I saw the phone flashing.

I pressed the button near the receiver and was greeted with her voice.

"Hey hunny I'm sorry but I'm going to be late coming home. A nurse had to call out and I had to take her spot tonight. I'll see you in the morning before you go to work Love you!"

Normal husbands get suspicious of things like this but not me. Emily has proven herself to me numerous times and I know she works hard and I hear nothing but compliments from her co workers.

The answering machine went beep and more messages went by from advertisers and other stuff I just wasn't interested in until I heard one particular message...

"Hello Chris it's me Sandra..."

My sister but...

"I sent you an invite to family reunion but you never called back or even showed up. I know things have been messed up and dad's death hasn't made anything better but remember you're my brother and I love you and I want you to please call me anytime.."

I was about to cut off the answering machine when her voice spoke up again.

"And I know how you're doing through Emily. She's a sweet woman Chris.

Don't push her away like you're doing everybody else."

The message died and I stripped myself as I just hauled my ass to the shower.

Cold water met my form as I felt the grime and scum of the day leave me.

My mind was blank and for a time I felt at peace until I instinctively cut off the shower and stepped out of the shower. I dried myself like a blur and slipped on some red boxers and made my way to the bed.

After today I wanted to have a little *fun* with Emily but I guess we all don't get what we want.

As I hit the bed and slipped into unconsciousness I had no idea tonight would be the last day in my life and the next it would all fall apart.