The sun has no business being as bright as it is on Mars, Rex notes as he stares up at the sky, lying on his back in the sand.
"Well then," He says. "This isn't ideal."
"No, it isn't," his ghost says hovering above him. If Ghost had a body, Rex was certain he'd be tapping his foot.
Nearby are the smoking remains of what was once his sparrow mixed amongst crushed rock and sand. In his defense he hadn't been aiming for the boulder, it had just suddenly appeared in front of him. Seriously.
"You really ought to pay more attention to where you're going," Ghost continues agitatedly.
Rex glares at him from behind his helmet, propping himself up on his elbows. "You try driving while dodging fire from Vex and Cabal," He snaps, standing while brushing sand off his coat. Rex glances over at the burning husk of his sparrow. If he wasn't an EXO, he'd probably be tearing up. He loves his sparrow; it had been made special just for him.
Ghost looks over at it too, but for a different reason. "The beacons are all a lost cause, too. This was supposed to be such a simple mission."
"No, I'm fine, but thank you for asking."
"Those beacons are meant to make communication with other guardians possible," Ghost snaps, flying right up in Rex's face, spinning angrily. "Without them, guardians would have to rely solely on us ghosts for transmission, and what would they do if the Darkness gets to thick? They'd get cut off. We could get cut off!"
Rex reaches up and flicks it. "You're being paranoid again," he says as he moves to the wreckage to look for anything salvageable.
"I am not!" Ghost sputters, righting himself in the air.
"There were only a few more of them to place anyway, so relax. There you are!" Rex exclaims in excitement, digging into a pile of rubble.
Ghost hovers over him curiously. "What is it? Did you find a beacon?"
"Even better," He says as he pulls out his auto-rifle. "My precious is safe."
"You're impossible," Ghost says, closing his eye and rotating side to side.
"You're the one who revived me," Rex reminds it with a shrug. "Now please take us back to the ship. The Cabal might have given up the chase, but the Vex never will."
"Darrus is not going to be happy with us," Ghost says matter-of-factly.
"When is he ever?" Rex responds as they vanish.
No one exactly knows the origins of the EXO. Speculation suggests that perhaps they were once humans who did not want to die. Another theory is that they were created as machines of war, though who the humans were fighting at the time no one can know. Perhaps, even, they had been fighting amongst themselves. Then again, Rex hasn't ever really cared about the reason, so whatever..
EXO are clearly alive, though. Whether or not they used to be human is irrelevant now. EXO have demonstrated that they are capable of both logic, reasoning, and emotion. By definition, they are alive.
But - and Rex will never admit this out loud - "Machine of War" describes how he feels most days. He thinks about sitting around as a shop keep, or at the war table in the Vanguard, and it just feels wrong. He tries not to think about what that actually says about himself.
He asked his ghost once if guardians ever remember who they were before they died. Ghost had replied, "It is exceptionally unusual, though not entirely unheard of. But no guardian has ever remembered everything. Those who have memories only retain bits and pieces."
Ghost had found Rex at the Cosmodrome in a cave - more of an alcove, really, considering its size - high up on a cliff facing the ocean. If there is one thing Rex wishes he remembered, it's how he got up there.
Rex tells people it's because he's curious.
In reality, he really just wants to know how he died.
"So who are you going to go talk too first?" Ghost asks as they land.
Rex makes a noise that resembles a sigh. "Probably Darrus. Cayden will be the easy one."
Which he does, making a bee-line for the man at the far end of the hanger, waving his greetings to the mechanics and engineers along the way. Rex prides himself on being the memorable, friendly sort. He finds Darrus hunched over a work bench that doubles as his office desk; papers on one side, blueprints and tools on the other.
Darrus is a human on the cusp of entering middle age. Short brown hair with small flecks of gray here and there, which a five o'clock shadow that Darrus insists he can't do anything about, but Rex sees through that lie like it's made of glass. Tall and fit by profession, not training.
He glances at Rex as he approaches, Rex waving in greeting.
"You're back early, Rex," Darrus says in his deep voice, eyes returning back to the papers in front of him. "And you have that guilty look on your face."
"What? No I don't. How can you even tell?"
His lips twitch, "I can tell." With a sigh he turns to face Rex proper, crossing his arms. "So what did you break?"
Rex shifts nervously. "What makes you think I did?"
"Because you won't look at me," Darrus says flatly.
"That's true," Ghost pipes up.
"Shut up, traitor," Rex throws over his shoulder.
"Fess up."
"The sparrow you made me," Rex admits, staring at the ground. "And some of the beacons. But it wasn't my fault! There were Cabal, and Vex, and that damn rock and then we crashed-"
"Then you crashed," Ghost corrects.
"Whose side are you on, anyway?"
Darrus frowns, "The sparrow? Do you know how much effort I put into that thing? I made it from scratch."
"I know, I know." Rex slouches over and looks at the man sadly. "I'm sorry."
After a few moments of looking him in the eye with a disappointed look on his face, Darrus lets out another sigh and walk over to put a hand on Rex's shoulder.
"Were you hurt?" He asks quietly.
"Just my pride," Rex replies, leaning into the touch.
Darrus moves his hand so that it's behind Rex's neck and pulls him forward so that their foreheads are touching. Rex grabs onto the man's arm gently in response, enjoying the closeness.
"Wish you'd be more careful," the man says, voice just above a whisper.
"That was me being careful," Rex replies, Ghost staying mercifully silent this time. "You know how it can be out there. Doing the best I can."
"I know you are."
"So," Rex drawls out uncertainly. "You're not mad?"
"No, Rex, I'm not mad. But I'm sure as hell not making you a new sparrow free of charge this time. You're replacing those beacons, too."
"Darrus," The EXO complains, "We were having a moment."
Darrus draws back and plants a quick kiss on Rex's forehead. "Then stop breaking my stuff," he says before moving back over to his bench. "Now go away, I'm working." He looks at Rex's ghost. "Try and keep him out of trouble."
Ghost spins in place. "If only that were possible," it says, resigned.
"You're the worst boyfriend ever," he pouts at Darrus, unable to hide the humor in his voice.
"I'm your only boyfriend ever."
"As far as you know."
"Would you two just get a damn room already?" Comes an angry shout from somewhere behind them.
"Jealousy is unattractive," Rex yells back over his shoulder, but starts to leave anyway. "See you later, babe."
"Join me in the city tonight?"
"I'm game."
EXO relationships are apparently rare, with an organic species being even rarer. When Rex had first started developing feelings for Darrus, he didn't actually know what he was feeling. He had to ask Ghost, who had been confused, too. In retrospect, Rex had probably done a poor job at explaining himself, but he and his ghost had figured it out together and when they did, the realisation came as quite a shock.
Darrus is kinder than he'll admit and Rex observes it all the time. He encourages his men to do well, and is firm but never cruel when my reprimands them. When Rex had first woken up he'd taken mercy on the EXO and repaired everything for free until he had found his footing among the Vanguard.
After Rex had arguably figured out his emotions - and pretended they didn't exist for a while - he eventually just straight up confronted the man.
"Look," Rex had said, "I think I have feelings for you and I have no idea how this sort of thing works. What am I supposed to do?"
Darrus' eyes had gone so wide that Rex had been concerned they were going to pop out. The man had just stared at Rex gaping for what seemed like an eternity before responding.
"Well," Darrus said after clearing his throat. "I guess you could ask me out on a date."
Rex had tilted his head, confused. "What's a date?"
Which caused Darrus to burst out laughing. It took him a while before he stopped.
"So what you're telling me is that you failed?" Cayde says pointedly.
"Well, I wouldn't say failed, exactly. More like I just half finished it with an explosion."
"On that, we agree," Ghost adds helpfully.
Cayde shrugs. "Whatever. Happens all the time. On Mars, especially."
"You see?" Rex says to his ghost. "Nothing to worry about."
"Don't get me wrong, I can't pay you for a mission you didn't complete. No harm no foul otherwise, though."
"Nothing at all," Ghost deadpans and Rex has to fight the urge to not throw him across the room.
"Whatever," Rex snaps, "Means I get to spend more time with Darrus anyway."
Cayde gets closer, right up in Rex's personal space. "EXO to EXO, how does that work, exactly?" He whispers conspiratorially.
"I have magic fingers," he responds, waggling them.
Cayde blinks at him stupidly before making a disgusted noise. "Well, you ask a stupid question."
He really does like Cayde.
The first time Rex had gone out on a tactical strike had been on the Archives on Venus. His two squadmates had been accepting enough, forgiving the small mistakes he made since it was his first time out.
Liel had been an awoken titan and his strength was unreal. Rex hadn't realized that anyone could harness the Light like that until he'd seen Liel punch through a Minotaur's shields and torso in one blow. Even to this day he's still in awe.
Their hunter had been Kora and she was an EXO like him. Rex learned to admire her in the short time he knew her. She was clever and talented. She could dance around the battlefield as if it were a stage and she was putting on a performance. An adapt and talented bladedancer. One of the best if word of mouth was to be trusted.
But the closer they'd gotten to their objective the thicker the Darkness became. To the point where the ghosts were having trouble healing and repairing their wounds. It wasn't long after that when it happened.
A blast had ripped through Kora's armor like it was nothing and she was dead before she even hit the ground. As Rex had try to run towards them to help share some of his light with her ghost so that it could revive her, and explosion had blasted him backwards. When he came back to his senses Kora's body was gone and her ghost was nowhere to be seen.
That had been the first time Rex had ever seen a guardian die and be unable to come back.
He doesn't remember much about what happened after that. The vague memories he does have he knows there was a lot of shouting, screaming, and a power he'd never felt before. Apparently that was the first time he'd ever been able to truly manifest his light into something physical beyond the odd grenade. Liel told him later that he'd never seen a warlock call upon that much power before.
They'd finished the mission, though Rex doesn't remember that either.
He's never been asked to go on a strike since, and he's never asked to go on one; Rex prefers to work alone now.
Rex doesn't leave the tower much; he likes it there. There are other guardians and those are the people he relates to the most. He doesn't have much talent beyond shooting things and being unmatched with his dexterity on a sparrow. Plus, he likes to be able to look out at the Traveler rather than staring up at it. It soothes him, somehow.
Darrus, though, lives down in the city. As one of the tower's chief engineers, he could be staying in the tower, but he says he prefers the hustle and bustle of the city, the noise, and how alive it makes him feel. Rex doesn't get it, but whatever makes Darrus happy is good enough for him. Ghost seems to like it down here too, so whatever.
"You hungry?" Rex asks him, having to remind himself that yes, organic things need to eat.
"You don't mind?" Darrus asks after a moment.
"I asked, didn't I?"
The city is organized haphazardly because centuries ago it had been constructed pretty hastily. There is some logic to its design now, residential over here and business over there, but it can still be confusing to navigate. It took him a while after he woke up to really get the layout of it all.
There isn't much of a night life, though. Which is understandable; the night holds more than just shadows now. Some things do stay upon later than usual, though, since nighttime is when the majority of guardians have their free time. They're revered in the city, heroes, the Traveler's chosen. Rex doesn't feel like he's been chosen for anything, but he does throw the title around sometimes, when it suits him.
They find some hole in the wall that sells cheap pastries, which Darrus consumes happily. Rex thinks it's kind of cute, but he knows better than to say it outloud, lest he get smacked.
"Do you think we'll ever win this war?" He asks Darrus.
Darrus regards him, a pensive looks on his face. "I don't know," he admits finally.
Rex just hums in response.
"Why do you ask?"
"Just thinking out loud, I guess." Which a bold faced lie. He knows exactly why he's asking.
The man doesn't look like he believes Rex, but doesn't say so.
"It's just," Rex continues nervously. "It's just that Ghost brought me back a while ago - thanks for that by the way," he says sincerely to the ghost hovering over his shoulder, "and I've just been fighting since I woke up. I don't remember anything from before then, you know?"
"Yeah…" Darrus is wary now and looking at him strangely.
"My point is, I used to just fight because there is a war going on and someone has to fight it. It's the right thing to do, protect people who don't want to fight." This is the moment of truth, and Rex is clenching his fists to tightly he's probably going to break something. "But then I met you."
"Rex," The man starts, catching on. "What's going on?"
"Hear me out, alright? EXO don't usually have feelings like this. Trust me, I checked. We're just not built that way. Which just speaks to how awesome you are."
He has Darrus' full attention now, eyes wide with a smile tugging slightly at the corners of his mouth.
"And you, for some insane reason, like me back. So really if anyone is crazy it's you." Dammit, he's derailing. "Why would a human want to be in a relationship with a guardian, let alone an EXO?"
"Well," Darrus says, thinking about it. "Guess you can't help who you fall in love with."
Rex stares at him, absorbing what Darrus just said. It takes him longer than he's proud of to process it, and when he finally does he wants to shout up to the Traveler about how happy he is. But then he gets angry.
"You stole my line, you jerk," Rex accuses.
Darrus scoffs and rolls his eyes. "You were taking too damn long to say it. If I'd waited until you finally spit it out we'd have been here 'til my hair was completely gray."
"You're ruining the moment again!"
The man puts a finger to his mouth to shush him, which is just for show. EXO don't actually need to move their mouths to speak, it just kind of happens. Rex shuts up anyway.
"I fell for you because even though you doubt yourself, even when you feel like giving up, you keep going anyway. You don't fight because you want to, but because it's who you are. You protect what's important to everyone, not just important to you." Darrus grins mischievously. "It's kind of sexy."
Rex grabs him by the waist and tugs the man close and growls, "I think we ought to go home now, yeah?"
"Yeah," Darrus agrees a bit breathlessly. "I was getting tired of wearing clothes anyway."
"I'll just wait in the tower," Rex's ghost says.
Rex was not himself for a long while after the strike. He would go on patrol, because it was easy and didn't require a lot of thinking. Fulfill the odd task here and there, just pulling his own weight.
Liel joins him sometimes still. They've gotten closer as time's goes on; not exactly friends - almost but not quite - but they're getting there. They're comrades at the very least and fully trust one another out in the field. It makes Rex nervous having someone else along, and he always makes sure Liel is in his field of vision. But he does enjoy the company so in the long run he doesn't mind much.
It was Darrus who really pulled him out of his funk. As their relationship developed, Rex started to feel more like himself. Darrus has become someone special and they share something that belongs only to them. It's a bond he personally wants to protect; something not as ambiguous as "the city". He motivates Rex to do better, to be better.
He's started going on solo missions; things like infiltration and Intel gathering. He may be a warlock, but he's very light on his feet.
And it became enough, having a friend and a lover. Ghost watches his back, Liel watches his front, and Darrus gives him a reason to make it home. It's true that he wishes he could remember the time before he died. But he also has a future, which he's more excited for, and as a result he wants to find those answers less and less everyday.
Rex isn't quite happy yet, but he's getting there.
