Dedicated to Someone important to me...thank you for the inspiration to write this. Both good and bad.
There was a road. Not literally of course but one in her mind, that brings her back to this point in her life where she felt alive. It wasn't that long ago, that time she felt alive, in fact she feels alive now, but there was something about the moment, at that time, that had made her feel like she was so alive that there was no trace of death in the sky.
She has this road, so bright and beautiful, burned into her mind to the point where if she closes her eyes she can see it. She can reach out her hand and touch the grass, and she can count the stars that leave a message, one she still hasn't discovered yet. It's there she can see it's outline painted in the night sky but she can't read the message, the one she's spend so long trying to figure out.
"Their impossible to miss, they follow you forever." She can hear the words whispered with a smile. She asked for her to just say who was written in the stars but that would make it all to easy.
"When you feel like someone can say that one star is enough to teach but just impossible to reach." The words never gave the answer though, they made her wonder. They made her wonder if she would travel this road forever just to figure it all out.
But this road is missing something, its missing someone. Mitchie created this road, along with everything else that's burned in Alex's mind, and for everything that she's created she's never walked this paved road. Its not her's to walk.
In a blink of an eye, the road is gone. Reality is back and Alex isn't ready to face it, she hasn't been in..is it months now? She's forgotten, but she knows it was the last time she was with Mitchie. It couldn't have been that long...right?
Maybe we should start from the beginning, from where if all started. Before she discovered the difference between living, and being alive. And before this road was paved just for her.
If you asked her reason for doing this, she would tell you it was all because she was alone. There's no big story of how she lost someone close to her, or that she's bullied in school. Its simple, she's alone, in a world made up of 6,692,030,277 people she felt alone.
She paused looking at the letter written crusive, and wondered who would miss her. If anyone would.
You see Alex was going to kill herself. In all honestly she had it planned for awhile, and it was just a matter of the right time. She needed to know that it was time...was there ever the right time to commit suicide? All she knew was that this feeling would be gone. and that was enough for her.
Its been three years since this feeling started take over. She doesn't know why this feeling started but it's something mental, at least thats what all the websites said. Its been two years since she first physically harmed herself, and its been six months since she started planning her escape from the world.
But she wanted to leave the world with something to be remembered by. She didn't save someones life, and she couldn't get a building named after her, but she wanted at least one person in the world to remember her.
So she did the only thing she think of, she started writing. She made acounts on websites, and started talking, because she felt if she created something for people to read then they would remember her. Thats all she wanted was for the world to remember something about her, but she wanted whatever was to be amazing.
She never planned to befriend anyone. All she wanted was for them to read what she wrote, and to remember it. She wanted them to think about what she wrote, and she wanted them to relate to it.
No one has any idea that something is wrong with her. She appears happy, and she quiet, making everyone over look her. She'd be lying if she said it didn't bother her, thats clear considering what she's about to do.
And she's thought this through, every detail. She knows how she'll do it, when and where, she just need to be mentally ready. Her shaking hands as she attempts to finish the letter, show's just how scared she is.
She puts the pen down breathing in deeply letting out it slowly. As thoughtful planned as this was, she now wondered if someone would tell everyone that she befriended, that she had died. And if they would wonder why she had done it, or if after it was all done, she just disappeared. And no one was told what happened to her.
They were the thing that was holding her back.
If you asked her, of all the people she's met, which one of them was holding her. Which one was stopping her from doing it, she would answer in a heartbeat Mitchie.
Are you wondering why?
Because Mitchie, being a thousand miles away, makes Alex feel less alone. A complete stranger she's only talk to several time is the only thing stopping her. When she talks to Mitchie she feel that the world is a better a place, and if she waits long enough she'll see that in more then one person.
Mitchie is the only thing Alex is living for, but she won't tell her that. She would have done it, weeks ago if it wasn't for this one kind person thousands of miles away in another country. Its the messages, and wondering what words the next one will contain.
Its strange the way it works, but it's true. And maybe it's dumb that a complete stranger is saving her life, but she's still here. So it has to count for something right?Alex still wants to die, just a little less now. Mitchie makes her happy, and she hasn't felt this way in years.
This isn't a story of how someone saved her life, or maybe some part of it is. But this a story of how you can fall for someone without ever laying eyes on them.
A/N: Okay so I'm sure most of you want to kill me for starting a new story but this is just something I had to write. I hope you guys liked it, and please tell me if I should continue, make a one shot, or just delete. Thank you for reading. :)
