So, yeah, you guessed it. This new story has become my creative outlet for another obsession of mine: TF2. Truthfully, I'm just gonna wing it. Right now, it's 9 AM on a Thursday, and I think I'm about to go crazy if I don't write something. I present to you... La Fille de L'équipe Rouge (can anyone guess that I saw La Fille du Regiment before writing this?)
1
"What was my time?"
"Er...five minutes and forty-three seconds. New record, Lily."
"Crud, I knew I- wait...really?"
The short, slightly-pudgy blonde girl on the sidelines nodded and handed the stopwatch to the runner, an up-and-coming college track-rat by the name of Lily McAllister. She was 20, and stood about five feet and five inches in height, with jet black hair, fair skin adorned with numerous freckles, and green eyes. In her hair were several streaks of red which merely peekabooed out of her ponytail. Bangs were swept to the side and slightly damp with sweat, when they were usually meant to hang just above her eyes.
Gazing at the stopwatch, Lily let out a squeal and pumped her fist into the air. "Booyah, baby!" she cried happily.
"You know, I don't understand why you didn't try out for the campus team," the blonde piped up.
"Bianca, sod off," Lily said with a grin. "You know Coach McCann just wants to recruit girls with fucking melons attached to their chests..." Her gaze traveled down to her own chest. They won't even pass as apples...
"You would think the coach would get a team together of girls with small loads. With boobs that big, it's amazing those girls don't topple over onto their faces."
"Point: has been seen." The runner walked over to the bench, picking up her water bottle, bringing it to her lips, and swigging down the liquid it contained. "Thanks for track-spotting me."
Bianca pushed her hand through the air in a 'pshaw' gesture. "Not a prob'. Much better than being confined to my room with my always-tipsy roommates. Last night, one of them brought home another dude."
"No detes, please." Lily ran a hand through her hair. "I know exactly what I'm gonna do when I get back to my dorm." A playful, yet mischievous grin worked its way across her thin, pink lips, which only widened as she heard her friend's groan.
"Let me guess. Team Fortress 2?"
An even widen grin. A nod. Another hopeless groan. "What do you see in that game anyway, Lily? I kinda want to kill your older sister for buying it for you. It's so dumb."
"...It is not!" Lily argued rudely, pouting. "It's one of the best games out there. And you know that you told me the first day of me playing it that you thought the Scout was cute."
"That's true, bu-"
"A-bup-bup!" Lily's hand came up, shushing her friend, unwilling to hear her argument. "If a game can get you to like a fictional gaming character - you, someone who is chained to reality and constantly teases me for being a fangirl of every androgynous piece of ass to walk across my TV screen - then the game isn't dumb." She gently brushed off both shoulders as a gesture of the victory she knew she had just claimed.
Bianca opened her mouth with furrowed brows, in an attempt to protest angrily or say some rude remark, but finally snapped her lips shut again. She had no comeback witty enough. "You never told me who your favorite character is..."
"Gotcha." Lily reached for her hoodie, pulling it on over her clothes before grabbing her backpack and sliding one strap on over her shoulder. "And that's easy. It's the Sniper. He's the rugged type, dedicated to his job and doing it right, while being nothing short of a gentleman. Anyway, care to rendezvous after battle in the mess hall?"
"You mean, meet in the dining hall after you finish your nerd-fest?" Bianca countered, raising her brow. After a moment of silence, she could only laugh and shake her head. "Alright, but if I see you go for a sandwich, you get a fork in your neck."
Lily laughed along with her friend. "Agreed. I'll catch you later." Placing her water bottle in her bag, and giving a quick wave, she was then off, heading out of the campus gymnasium and into the cold toward her dorm building. It was rather sunny for the time being five o'clock, and Lily knew that the spring was well on its way. Thank goodness; being in the north during the end of February wasn't anything enjoyable, and the two prior months had been hell. Well, it would be if hell had frozen over. Lily's dorm had rather decent heating and a bed full of blankets for her to fall onto, so it'd be hard to tear herself from her temporary home later to meet up with Bianca for dinner.
After a good seven-minute walk, Lily found herself on the doorstep of her dorm apartment, fishing out her key and opening the door. She had caught a lucky break, and was given a two-bedroom, two-bathroom loft to share with three friends. It had a kitchen of its own, a living room, a back porch, and a rather spacious basement that was used for what Lily liked to call "Game Night." Some Apples to Apples, a few bottles of wine, and many good times. Breathing in happily, the door was closed with one rough push of Lily's foot, and she immediately headed upstairs to her bedroom. The games were about to begin.
Lily let out a sigh of relief as she saw that no one was around. Her roommates did like her, but what they hated about her were her battle cries during games of Team Fortress 2, and the occasional dose of 'mic-spamming.' Now that she was alone, Lily could curse and yell all she wanted. But first, she decided to find solace in the fact that with no one around, she could shower. And sing her boisterous little heart out.
"Medic, don't you dare 'Über' me. Do it to the Hea- GODDAMMIT!"
Lily pounded down on the keys of her computer in anger, while she continued to bark orders into the microphone on the end of her headset. She had tied her wet hair back after her shower for it to dry on its own, and had dressed herself in a black T-shirt with a red tank top over it, and a pair of jeans. In the background, her radio was blasting a mix CD she had made of her favorite 80s metal songs. Her class for the day: Scout. It was one of her favorites, and she enjoyed the adrenaline rush she got from watching her character speed along the map's terrain, hop into the air, and take down the larger targets. Grinning, her index finger hovered over the left button on the mouse, ready to deliver a blow right to the back of an inattentive Demoman's head.
That's when things went downhill. The environment around her character disappeared, as did the arms and gun that protruded out of the bottom of her screen. It was replaced by the welcome screen, showing a still image of a Heavy, Medic, and Spy in the corner. A small, gray popup window read: "Disconnected from server. Rest and try again." Lily's emerald eyes widened in shock, and followed up with a groan of irritation.
"Goddamn jank college internet connection," she muttered, resting her forehead against the screen. "Why can't they just tell us when the internet is gonna be shitty...?" After a moment, Lily pulled her head up, trying again and clicking on the words 'Find Servers.' There were a good number of others she could join, and just in her 'Favorites' tab. They were the only ones she cared to join anyway, for the players who populated them were a bit more lenient if she were to make a mistake. Gazing over her list, her jaw fell as she saw that each of her servers was completely full.
"Are you shitting me?" She clicked the 'Refresh' button, scrolling down again. Still all full.
"...I...hate the internet."
That's when her fist met the keyboard, causing the computer to emit a loud beeping sound. This rang through Lily's headset, and on high volume, it wasn't the most comforting thing. Her head twitched, and she began to inwardly rant. Curse the college internet, curse the people hogging the servers, and curse the fact that I can't stop playing this fucking game!
Lily clicked on the 'Refresh' button once more...and that single click was followed by twenty or so more. Each failed attempt caused a growl of anger to bubble up in her throat. Fuck...fuck...fuck...FUCK! STOP PLAYING! Lily froze. Who exactly was she yelling at that time, herself or the people already in the servers? With her habits, she couldn't help but feel like it was intended for both parties.
"Alright, one more refresh," she promised herself out loud. "If nothing opens up, I'll walk away and call up Bianca to get dinner." Oh please, let me play one more round... Holding her breath and biting softly on her lower lip, her finger lowered ever so carefully onto the mouse, pressing on the button as if it would shatter with too much pressure. When the options for servers finally reloaded, Lily scrolled down the list, green eyes darting ever so slowly from one server to the next. She soon could scroll down no more, and let out a hopeless sigh. "Figures..." she muttered, her mouse icon moving up to the 'X' in the corner of window to close it.
"...Wait a second."
Lily cursed her curiosity as one eye darted back to the bottom of the list. Her brow became cocked as she noticed the map name: 'LIVE.' Lily sat back in her seat for a moment. Being the Team Fortress 2 'enthusiast' she was, she knew every map in the game. This definitely wasn't one of them. And, to the best of her knowledge, no further updates had been made to the game play.
Shrugging her shoulders, Lily double-clicked on the new server, and was, surprisingly, instantly connected to the game without the usual loading screen coming up on the monitor. The server's opening screen appeared on it several seconds later, and she could already hear the sounds of battle cries in the background, along with the other characters firing rounds into the air. Grinning a bit to herself, feeling quite pleased that she could finally sneak in one final game, Lily clicked on 'Continue,' and to her surprise, the screen went completely white, emitting a glow that made her reel back.
"MISSION BEGINS IN THIRTY SECONDS."
"What the-?!" In absolute shock, Lily rose from her seat, backing away from the computer, causing the ends of her headset to unplug themselves. She pushed the headset down so it hung around her neck, and looked around. She could still hear the sounds of Black Sabbath's 'Crazy Train' playing on low-volume from her radio, but there had to be something else in that room. She could swear the Announcer's voice was in her do-
"MISSION BEGINS IN TEN SECONDS!"
Confirmed.
The sounds of combat from the server, while growing louder in her headphones, paled in comparison of volume to the booming voice of the Announcer that echoed through her room. Lily's heart began to pound out of her chest, and she struggled to maintain her posture. Almost toppling over, her body swayed over toward the wall, and the girl pressed her palm against it, giving her stance some insurance.
"What the hell is happening...?" she asked, begging for answers from someone that wasn't there. Or maybe she hoped for some reply from the Announcer. Either way, it was a set of answers that would never come.
"FIVE..."
Lily's eyes shot back to the computer screen, still glowing white.
"FOUR...THREE..."
She felt her breath catch in her throat, as if she were suffocating on the air itself.
"TWO..."
What the hell...?! Why can't I move? Lily Anne McAllister, get your ass to that computer and turn it off!
"ONE..."
Shit.
The computer's fan began to turn loudly and furiously inside the external hard drive, almost as if it were desperately trying to cool the computer down. The glow emanating from the monitor became almost blinding, and filled the room. Lily's eyes closed tightly, and her free hand came up to shield her pale face. It almost burned to be standing in the light.
The world began to dissolve around her. Lily's knees buckled, and soon gave way beneath her. She couldn't tell whether or not she had felt the collision of her body with the carpeted floor of her dorm...
Ugh...what happened?
Lily's eyes shot as her brain quickly registered her surroundings. She was standing up, yet was unable to move, contained by four metal walls. It was almost as if she was shoved into a locker.
Wait a second...a locker?!
Lily bit on her lower lip to hold in a sound of shock. She tried to take a deep breath, and was instantly greeted by the smell of sweaty clothes. She could've gagged if her mind wasn't otherwise distracted. Pulling her fist back, Lily saw only one way to get herself out of her claustrophobic prison: pound on the door until someone comes along to let her out.
"Yo, Doc! You sure these heah needles ain't gonna kill me?"
Lily's green eyes widened, and her fist came to an immediate halt one inch from the locker's door. She recognized that voice.
"Nein, Scout," another voice, thick with a German accent, replied. This one sounded rather annoyed, as if the owner had been pestered continuously and was about ready to snap. "Ze syringes are filled vith a deadly poison, but you vere only hit vith ein syringe. Ein syringe! And I pulled it from your neck vithin ein second, you little hurensohn!"
A sigh was heard, followed by a third voice. It was a bit clearer - American - yet its flavor was definitely southern. "Look here, Scout. We're all tired, you got outta there alive, and you pestering someone who knows what he's talking 'bout with a small problem like this doesn't help relax us any."
"Stay outta it, Engie..."
Scout...? Engie?! Christ, what the hell is this? Reaching down, Lily's nails gripped onto a bit of flesh on her arm and pinched hard. Just as she was dreading, she felt the pain. It all made sense now, and to tell herself where she was and how she got there made her head spin. Her breathing began to speed up, and become slightly audible to herself. She had to calm herself down. Yet, her mind stayed focused on the outcomes of both staying in that locker, or being discovered. If she stayed in the locker, she would either wake up from whatever strange dream she was trapped in, or simply waste away until someone found her. If the locker was opened, she'd either be shot or-
"EEP!" The door was swung open, Lily's eyes meeting those of what looked like the RED Team Scout. The surface she was resting on had given way, sending her stumbling onto the ground and landing flat on her face with an 'oomph.' She groaned, hearing several sounds of surprise and panic before looking up. She was surrounded, and found herself staring into the barrels of several different firearms. How joyous...
Welp, hope you enjoyed. I know, this kind of plot isn't the most popular on sites such as this, but I wanted to give it a try. Not to mention, the transition of Lily from one world into the 1960s computer world of TF2 wasn't the easiest endeavor. Alright, comment and let me know what you think. I might also take suggestions, seeing as how along with the main plot, several chapters I write will be just ridiculous comedy fillers; complete free-for-alls. So, got an idea? Comment me with it, and I'll work something out. Thanks!
Translations:
Hurensohn = son of a bitch.
