A/N: Well hello everyone! So I've decided to take a break from Remind Me and had this one shot written a long time ago and decide it's finally time it got up. It is not Twilight, I know, a bit of a change in pace but don't shy away give this guy a chance! It's based off of XMen First Class just so you know and it should make sense enough to read with out have had watching it yourself. It's not really a songfic but this is composed of many, many different lyrics from different songs. Any recognizable lyrics and quotes belongs to their owners and I claim nothing. See you all at the bottom!
The Break Up
"Your turn, love," Charles smiles looking up from the chess board; we are sitting outside on the concrete steps that lead to the mansion back door. The sun is high in the cloudless blue sky. He has always liked playing outside on days like this. The wind is blowing the leaves on the trees around us just slightly and it is just cool enough we're both wearing light jackets. Charles is leaning on the step behind him so he's almost lying down, but still propped up on his arms to reach his chess pieces.
"Shaw is coming here, to New York. Hank tracked him down." I mention moving my pawn to the left.
"Did he?"
"Yes, and now that he is coming I think it's time that I handled him."
"No. You're not doing anything. You don't know why he is coming." He says, looking at the board, moving his piece.
"Yeah, I do. He's coming for me. Don't you see that?"
"No."
"You are so naïve sometimes, do you know that?"
"You always assume the worst, love. Maybe he's just passing through. Don't do anything hostile." He states firmly.
"You don't get it Charles! You just don't get it, do you?" I say, throwing my hands in the air.
"I do get it, Erik! But you have to let it go! It's been, what, fifteen years! Listen to me very carefully my friend; killing Shaw will not bring you peace." Charles states.
"Peace was never an option! I am Frankenstein's monster and I will find my creator, he deserves this!" I fight back. "No, in my life, peace was never an option." I laugh dryly.
"Erik, you said it yourself, we're the better men!" He said calmly taking one of my hands, I don't pull back but I knew those words would come back to haunt me.
"Why are you fighting me so much on this, Charles? Why! We're supposed to be partners, remember?" I say back, staring into his eyes. I can't help but notice the rims of those damn icy blue eyes of his are starting to form with tears.
"But you've given me no choice! You've chosen this on your own and I don't choose that! I don't choose that." He mutters, standing up from the steps.
"I don't need you to choose this! I am going to kill him, Charles, even if it is the last thing I do!" I explain standing up with him. I will end Shaw. He's ran my life for much too long. Always running and hiding. I will not let him hurt my Charles. I know him, that's how he'll hurt me and I won't let that happen. He's already taken someone from me, never again.
"There is so much more to you than you know, not just pain and anger. There's good in you too. I felt it. I need you to believe me, Erik. Believe you are good! I won't let you do this! Killing will not help! Let me help you, Erik, I can help you." He begs, squeezing the hand of mine that he's still holding.
"If you feel so strongly about this, why are you still here? Charles, why do you put up with me? I mean it's so obvious we have two views on this, so why stick around?" I question suddenly calm.
"Do you want to know why I stick around? Because I love you, Erik! That's why! I don't want you to get hurt! I want to support you, I do but, my friend, I cannot support this. You will get hurt. I couldn't live with myself if I told you, you could do this and you went out and you got yourself killed." He explains, his bottom lip starting to quiver.
"Charles, I am not good enough for you." I mumble, taking a step back and taking my hand from his but he follows me and places a small peck on my lips.
"Erik don't you ever say that."
"You deserve better than me. I'm not bringing you into this mess, Charles." He pulls away and a tear finally escapes from his left eye, he brushes it off his cheek with back of my hand.
"What are you saying, Erik?"
"Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt." I whisper, avoiding his question.
"Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same." He explains, tears finally full on spilling over his eyes.
"Nothing lasts forever, Charles."
"Are you saying we're over?"
"Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers?" I ask. It's all that I can say so I'll be on my way. Then I take off running down the stairs. Maybe this is the way I should go, straight into the mouth of the unknown.
*TBU*
Two weeks. It's been two weeks. Two weeks of this. Nothing. Numbness. Alone. I've been sleeping on this couch in the library. I have yet to change out of sweats. Two weeks of nothing but sleeping on a couch in sweats with books lying around the floor, some open others closed. This is so unlike me and I know it, this shouldn't hurt this much. All the lights off except for one lamp next to the couch. Living alone here in this place, I think of him and I am afraid, he's always told me I'm not alone but I've never felt so alone in my life. I have only left this room a few times over this time. Just enough time to take a shower and get water. I don't want to eat and I can't even look at a chess board. I haven't run into any of the students; I don't think I could force a smile just to act like I'm okay. This is just, so unlike me. I should be up, dressed and moved on to the next place. I have my whole life in a suitcase because I never really stayed in one place. So why am I still here? It's so hard just to get up and get dressed living with this regret. We were so happy and then I went I fucked it up. I've lost my whole life and a dear friend. It's true, he does deserve better than me but it doesn't matter because I still love him and I always will. I had to say goodbye for the last time. I just can't let him get hurt. I will hurt him. I would change my ways, no never mind, God knows I've tried. I did hurt him. I am incapable to love him. But I know if I could do it over, I would trade, give away, all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken. It's so hard to deal with the pain of losing him. But nothing really lasts forever, does it?
"Erik! Unlock this door!" Raven starts pounding on the door for the third time today.
"Go away, Raven." I get it, you hate me for doing this to your brother Believe me, and no one hates me as much as I hate myself.
"No! Unlock this door!"
"I don't want to hear it." I growl, stuffing my face into the pillow and pulling the flannel blanket over my head. It smells like him.
"You should see him, Erik! Do you understand you ripped his heart out of his chest? I can't take it anymore! You need to explain to me why! Why did you do this, why? You told him you didn't want him to hurt, right? Well this is hurting him, Erik! This is hurting him! I have never seen him like this! He trusted you!" She screams, pounding on the door even harder. Her words only cause me to slip further in my self-pity. I know I broke his heart, does he have any idea how broken, hurt, I am without him. I wonder if he knows he's the only thing I think about. Everything about him I love and I will never get back. The way he laughs, the way he uses his power to playfully cheat at chess, the way he's so carefree and happy, well until I did this. I'm broken; I just don't feel right when he's gone.
"Raven, that's enough." I hear Charles murmur and the pounding stops. He doesn't sound like himself; his usual carefree happy voice is low and scratchy. What have I done? I truly am a monster.
Erik, please, just talk to me. I know we broke up but I can't stand to see you like this. You'll be okay. Talk to me, please. He forgives too easily and that's why he gets hurt. He's too nice…too good. This is the first time he's tried to talk to me, reach out to me using his power, and this just proves he's the better man. He's giving me my space. He says I'll be okay, but I'll never get over him. According to Raven he's in just as much pain as I'm in yet he still cares about how I am doing, which only makes me feel worse.
"You deserve better." I whisper into the pillow. I want to hold you high and steal your pain because I'm broken too, Charles, but it will get better. I think hoping he's still in my head.
The hall quiets and as soon as I'm sure they're off to train, I throw the flannel blanket off myself, and leave the library to go to the bathroom attached to his room. At four in the afternoon he's always training with the students. I flip on the radio on the counter, attempting to get my mind off of him. Weather man said it's gonna snow, by now I should be used to the cold. Mid February shouldn't be so scary. Shaking my head, I turn the shower on, allowing the mirrors to steam over before climbing in. The hot water pours over my tense muscles and I have to admit it feels good. I avoid using his shampoo; I can't have his scent around me. I thought this would be easier. I did this to protect him. Every day that passes, the pain in my chest doesn't weaken it only grows stronger. I need him. More than I ever thought possible. I need him more than I've ever needed anyone.
Before I know what I am doing I am slapping the tile wall of the shower, my body shaking and trembling in pure rage and anger. I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while because going on without him still upsets me. But I can't cry. Maybe I'd feel better if I did. I would do anything to stop this pain. I just don't want to hurt anymore. Someone take away this pain. I know no one can though, only he can soothe this heartache. The shower ran cold but I still stand there until it's too cold to stand in for even just a minute longer, but somehow I do. Once convincing myself to get out of the shower, I wrap myself in a towel and wipe a circle into the steamed mirror just to look at myself, eyes puffy and red, I look like shit. Dressing myself slowly, I go attempt to go back to the library, trying so hard not to drag my feet, but I don't make it that far. I'm only half way there before I crash into the wall and slide down, tucking my knees into my chest and throwing my face into my hands just to start shaking again. I fucked up. So bad. I need him too much.
"Erik?" The person talking sounds like Charles, but I can't be sure. But when I look up there he is, walking towards me. Before I know what I am doing, I'm up and running towards him, taking him into my arms, where he breaks down.
"Shh, I'm so sorry, don't cry. Please don't cry." I coo trying to pull myself together. I did this to him. I caused this heartbreak that we both share. He buries his head into my neck and I hold him tight. That's where we stand. Alone, just the two of us, clinging onto each other for dear life in this empty hallway. "You went away, how dare you, I miss you. I am so, so incredibly sorry, Charles. I was wrong, so wrong. I can't live without you. I love you so much more than I knew I could love someone. Charles, please give me another chance. Please."
"I trusted you… You broke my heart…" he cries into my neck.
"I know you did but Charles, I will never leave you again." I whisper, brushing my lips through his soft, dark brown hair. He pulls away to look at me with his usual bright blue eyes that are always full of life, are now dim, red and puffy.
"How can I trust that? After we break up... I didn't go to school; I hardly even left my room. Raven drug me out of bed this morning and threw me in the shower. She pulled me out of my room kicking and screaming. I feel so pathetic... so weak." He sobs, tears just pouring down his face. I can't believe I did this. Caused him this much pain, so much pain that he didn't even get up to do the one thing he loves to do: teach. He truly needs someone better; someone who won't break him like this. "Stop thinking like that." He sniffed. "You're thoughts are too loud." He whines to which I kiss his temple.
"I need you. I love you. I love you so much." I explain; that's all I can say. I ignore the fact he was in my head. "I love you, Charles." I mummer once more before bending down to kiss him, I fully expect him to fight it or to pull away at the least. But he doesn't. He only laces his fingers through the hair at the back of my neck and pulls me closer to him than I already am. Our lips are synchronized to perfection, crushed to each other to the point our embrace would look violent to someone who was watching. It's like the first time, we ever kissed.
I eventually pull away though, "I missed you so much"
"Erik, don't ever do this to me again." He demands.
"Never," I promise whipping a tear from his cheek with the pad of my thumb. I will never do this to us again. "Charles, I am not going anywhere."
A/N: So what did you all think? I'm super proud of this one. I'd love a little love! Until I hear from you again, happy reading! Remember to check out my other stories by clicking on my profile!
