One-shot, set after the movie. It wouldn't get out of my head so I figured I'd better write it down so I could get back to the rest of my stories. There is absolutely no connection to any of my other stories since this is way different than anything I normally write, but I hope you enjoy.
AU in that Tsu'tey survives and remains Olo'eyktan while Jake is Neytiri's mate and one of the Omaticaya warriors.
WARNING—mentions of a non-standard relationship forming. Nothing even vaguely graphic so the higher rating may be overkill, but I wanted to make sure..if that's not your thing, move on.
Tsu'tey stared up at the sky—truly black, with tiny stars just barely visible—and tried to keep his sigh at a level that wouldn't disturb those sleeping on the hammocks surrounding his. It wasn't unusual that he was awake on a night like this; he found the dark sky soothing and it was rare enough that it wasn't disturbed by some form of illumination from one of the surrounding moons that he didn't mind losing a little sleep every so often to enjoy it. Tonight there was no relaxation in the sea of black, though…tonight he couldn't even calm his thoughts enough to enjoy it.
Bad enough that his heart still ached for Neytiri. For the bond that would have been—should have been—and now would never be. They would have made a good pair. She'd believed that as well, once, back when they had been children together, but her heart had hardened after her sister's death, and even before Jake had come to them, he had sensed her pulling away from him. Pulling away from all of the clan, in truth, but if Jake hadn't come perhaps he could have found a way to reach her again.
There were days when he still wanted to hate Jake for that. Not for starting his life as a Sky Person, not even for what had happened to Hometree, but for coming into the clan and taking Tsu'tey's place with her. He wanted very much to hate him.
But he could find no hate for Jake within himself, not anymore. The two of them had been allies in the fight against the Sky People, had learned to be friends in the search for the new Kelutral, had grown even closer as they put all their energy into helping the clan resettle and rebuild in this new place…no, there was no longer hate. Unfortunately, that led to his current distress, because it seemed that, unknown to him, his heart had swung far too far in the other direction.
When he'd first recognized what he was starting to feel, he'd hoped that he was wrong. He'd tried to force himself to be wrong. But…. He choked down bitter laughter. He already felt the pain of one bond that could not be, and now his traitorous heart insisted on inflicting more pain by reaching for another that was equally unavailable. That was particularly unavailable, in this instance. Jake and Neytiri made a good pair; he cared for both, and he would do nothing that might disturb their happiness.
He sighed again in the darkness. The obvious solution to keeping his feelings hidden and avoiding any possible conflict was to avoid Jake in the same way that he avoided Neytiri when they did not have to interact in their roles as Olo'eyktan and soon-to-be-Tsahik. Unfortunately, Jake was his second and they regularly spent much of their days together so it was not such a simple thing to do.
The easiest way to ensure a rift between them would be to pick a fight, he though…it might be the only way, in fact. Others—excepting possibly Mo'at, who noticed all—might be soothed with specious explanations about the amount of work to be done and the need for a better spread of resources if he suddenly started making task divisions that kept he and Jake as far apart as possible, but Jake would never accept that and would press for a real answer. If they had a fight, on the other hand…well, he knew enough about Jake now to know the hurtful things to say that would, once spoken, keep Jake from ever wanting to interact with him any more except on a professional level again.
He closed his eyes. Except that he did not want to hurt his friend. Especially since Jake took to heart the words of people close to him, and despite the fact that none of what Tsu'tey would have to say would be true, the pain the words caused would not be any less. It would be temporary, at least—Mo'at and Neytiri would see to that—but that would not make it easier.
No, he didn't like the idea of hurting his friend, and, selfishly, he didn't want to lose the friend that he had come to rely on more than almost any other in this role that was still so new to him, either. Not only did act Jake as a second should, watching his back, listening when he needed to talk through a problem, and helping him to secure the clan's future, Jake also made him smile when he was upset, challenged him to sparring matches and races when he needed to relieve tension or even just when there was no one around to see them acting like overgrown children…. Jake was his friend.
But what was the alternative? Pushing the pain aside was much less impossible when he didn't have to be around Neytiri constantly; he saw no reason that Jake would be any different. And once it was done, there would be no chance of his revealing his feelings to either of them. There would never be any reason for them to feel badly for what could not be returned.
His hammock shifted suddenly, and his eyes snapped open. It was a simple single hammock, not a proper family hammock that he shared with relatives, so he was not expecting anyone to join him, and his mind groped for another reason why anyone would disturb him at this time of night even as he rolled into a crouch. A night sentinel who had seen some sort of approaching danger would have called out; a half-asleep child who had mistaken his hammock for that of his parents in the darkness would have been noisier….
"Tsu'tey?"
Startlement froze him in place. He knew that voice as well as his own. "Neytiri?" What was she doing here?
She moved forward, settling fully into a sitting position on the hammock and he moved away almost automatically. This was odd, at best, bordering on wrong, and— He shook himself. "What are you doing?"
"We aren't really sure about that part yet, but we need to talk to you," a new voice said from behind him, and he started again, lurching forward this time and then sideways as he tried to avoid hitting Neytiri.
"Don't do that!" Jake exclaimed grabbing the edge of the hammock as Tsu'tey's quick movements caused it to dip sharply to one side.
"Shh!" Neytiri scolded. "There is no need to wake everyone."
"Well, now isn't exactly a good time to fall to our deaths," Jake muttered.
Tsu'tey barely registered their words as he looked back and forth between them. A task that would have been easier if they weren't on opposing ends of his hammock. Their faces were shadowed; in this level of darkness he could make out little from the illuminated markings on their faces, but neither of them seemed upset about anything. That still didn't help him determine what they were doing here, though. What would they need to talk to him about at this hour of the night?
They could not know that he'd been considering severing his friendship with Jake—and he thought that Jake, at least, would be upset if he did know—and Tsu'tey had very carefully kept the feelings that had grown for Jake hidden so it couldn't be that. Had they come to confront him about his avoidance of Neytiri? He didn't think that he'd made what he was doing obvious, but she had known him her whole life so perhaps he hadn't been as clever as he'd thought. Still, it seemed odd, given her personality, that Neytiri wouldn't have approached him on her own if that was the case. And even if that was their concern—since at the moment he couldn't come up with anything more likely—it still didn't answer why here and now?
For a moment they looked past him, at each other, in the darkness, and then Jake shifted awkwardly, drawing Tsu'tey's attention. "Look, we were talking. Neytiri and I, I mean. And we aren't…we don't…." He shook his head quickly, the stripes on his face and the faint reflection from his eyes blurring slightly in the darkness. "Something's missing between us. We both feel it. And we think…I mean, we don't know if you might…I mean…." He went silent for a minute, and then he shook his head a second time, again looking past Tsu'tey. "I'm hopeless at this. You explain."
Despite the bizarre situation, Tsu'tey felt his lips twitch. Whatever was going on, that was the friend he knew. But something missing between them? Between Jake and Neytiri? Ridiculous. They fit together perfectly, everyone knew that.
"Something is missing between us," Neytiri repeated quietly, confirming Jake's words, and Tsu'tey's attention shifted to her. "As Jake said, we can both feel it. We can feel that we belong together, that will never change, but still…." It was her turn to shake her head before continuing. "I think that perhaps you feel something missing too. We know our feelings, and while we cannot know yours for certain, I have known you all my life and am not so poor at reading hearts. Three is not an impossible number."
His immediate reaction was annoyance, especially given her comment about the two of them belonging together. As though that wasn't perfectly obvious, and because of it, at the moment he didn't feel that something was missing in his life, he felt that everything was missing. And then his mind processed the rest of her words. Especially the last sentence. 'Three is not an impossible number.' He wasn't certain on whom he should focus, his head swiveling back and forth repeatedly, and he bit back a curse at the darkness. Right now he needed to see their faces.
"It probably sounds a little crazy," Jake said after a moment, "but considering everything that's happened in the past few months, it's not really that crazy. I mean, I sure as hell wouldn't have seen it coming—not in a million years—but you're my best friend and I didn't see that coming either, and the idea of being more doesn't…it feels right. To me, at least. I know Neytiri is the one you were supposed to mate with, and I know you still care about her a lot given how much it bothers you sometimes, being around her, but maybe if you can tolerate both of us we can somehow make this work and…."
Jake might have kept speaking, but Tsu'tey had stopped processing what he was hearing as he struggled to find the words he wanted. He could manage nothing more than an incredulous, "You both wish this?" He wasn't sure which surprised him the more: the would-have-been mate that he had believed lost or the friend that he had never expected to see him as anything else. The mate that he wouldn't have tried to win back or the friend that he wouldn't have tried to convince to see him in any other way.
"Yes," Neytiri said, no uncertainty in her voice. "We would not be here if we did not."
"I know the timing's kind of lousy," Jake added, his speech less hurried than it had been a few moments before. "The whole middle-of-the-night thing and all. But even though I could have talked to you alone easily enough, we figured it wouldn't be right if it didn't come from both of us. And since Neytiri was sure you'd be awake tonight…well, here we are."
Jake had been right, this was crazy, Tsu'tey decided after a minute. But maybe…maybe it was a good kind of crazy, and—
He was still caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts when Neytiri's hand on his arm startled him and made him pull back automatically.
"It's…we wouldn't…I mean if we're wrong and you don't want this, we can go," Jake said, his words rushed again. "We can just forget ab—"
"No!" Tsu'tey interrupted sharply, for that instant not caring if he woke the entire clan. "No, don't go. Please. I was just startled." And his mind would not settle, would not let him think...
"We aren't wrong, then?" Neytiri asked, touching his arm again. "You do, perhaps, share some of the same feelings?"
"I…yes," he admitted quietly.
Jake's hand on his shoulder was a bit less unexpected after his declaration, and Tsu'tey twisted to look at him uncertainly. This darkness…he could not see what he needed to.
"Maybe we should all go somewhere else?" Jake suggested. "Down by one of the hearth fires? It might be easier to talk if we don't have to worry about waking everyone up." He shifted to look over the edge of the hammock. "And I really, really don't want to fall to my death. This is way too narrow for three people to be on for an extended period of time."
Tsu'tey smiled at that and then found that he couldn't banish the expression. "Yes. Talking…yes." Jake had been right; this was crazy. That was the one thing he was sure of. But maybe he'd been right too, and it was a good kind of crazy, because they both sounded serious and while it might not be easy making the three of them work—it probably wouldn't be easy—right now he felt better than he had in…well, a very long time.
