DB; All of the sudden, when I was cosplaying Edward at this Halloween PARTY!, I got this totally random idea to do this...Yeah, the more reviews I get, the better and longer this is gonna get. Also, anybody got any good ideas on how to do a VinSeph oneshot? Anybody at all?

ALSO, ALSO ATTENTION, IN NEED OF A BETA-ER!!

Pairings;

Ed x Roy

Jean x Riza

And others to come, ENJOY CHAPTER ONE!

(The song Chop Suey by System of a Down inspired the title...)

THIS WILL CONTAIN YAOI SO NOOOOOO FLAMERS, M'KAY?

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"Master, our guest of honor will be...arriving shortly..." A small, portly butler named Cracium (1) wheezed. The man with a bird-like nose bowed to his master, so low that his nose touched the ground, and left through large oak double doors.

The master's mouth curved into a slim smile. "Good..." He purred softly to himself. "All according to plan..." The man snapped his fingers and a glowing green orb flew to his side.

"Edward Elric." He spoke the name clearly and the orb began to spin. When the spinning slowed to a halt, the green had faded to a white color and a moving picture of a boy with a golden braid in his hair came into view. "Such a prize. A real ten."(2)

The boy in question was laughing at some unknown joke told to him by a man, who was at least twenty, with brown and blond hair with a cigarette. A black and white dog jumped onto the flaxen haired teenager who in turn fell over. A young woman with her golden hair pinned into a bun came into view as well and yanked the dog off of the lithe teen. Two other men, one with jet black hair and another with glasses and a small goatee, smiled at the youth's actions.

"You'll be mine soon," He said in a tone so sultry that even a rapist would fear for his life. "All. Mine." And the Master crushed the glowing orb with his powerful grasp sending the room into impenetrable darkness.

"Welcome to the club."

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(1) Cracium is actually my history teacher's last name. To me, he always seemed good as a butler...xDDDDD

(2) I loved it when Roy was like to Ed, "So I hear that Psyren is a real 10 under the mask." And Ed was all like, "So you know everything I do hunh? Is that what your implying. Good, great, I'm glad we had this talk..." and he's all blushing and crap. That totally to me was like OH SMACK A ROYED MOMENT!

Yeah, THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LONGER, I SWEAR!

Reviews help make things in that empty cavity I call a brain move faster!