a/n: even if i ship alscor like there's no tomorrow, this plotbunny hit me and i just had to write it. i never use first person, and this was a bizarre change, but i kind of enjoyed it. so, i hope you enjoy this!


be mine
whether a flower in my hand or a gun in my hand
i'd give it all up for your hand in my hand
—love lust, king charles


Lily,

It's time to stop and look at what we have done.

You and I have burnt down cities and we have ravaged forests with one glance from our burning eyes. We have destroyed houses and torn apart families, and left relationships in ruin and we have shown the world what we're capable of.

We've ruined lives and everything but, dear, the biggest crime? The biggest crime that we ever committed was that we tore each other's hearts apart.

They say we're misunderstood, that we're young, that this is just a phase and we'll grow out of it in no time but they're wrong, so very wrong, because some people are born to lead and others are born to follow, but we were born to destroy and they can tell us otherwise but I know, just as much as you that the purpose of our ravaged hearts was not to be held back, it was to roam free and dare them to stop us.

They have tried for so long but they will never manage to tame us – we were thrown into the snake-pit and how could they ever expect us to come out of it the same people? Little aristocratic Scorpius and innocent Lily were never going to survive the jade house if they didn't become one of the snakes.

(perhaps they're the naïve ones, after all)

And so we changed (for the better, I promise you my love) and we transformed (and we can never transform back to what we once were) and we grew (in the hope they'd never catch us up) and most of all, we fell (fell from the grace and fell into each other's arms).

And now, we're still Scorpius and Lilybut we're just slightly more jagged, a little more rough and ready, more aware and less naïve, and a lot more broken, but we're still the same people: you're still glorious, glorious Lily and no one will never change that.

And I think that we still want each other, just like we once did.

And I think that deep down inside, you still believe that we do.

And I know that deep down inside, there will always be a part of you that wants me the way you once did.

Because what we had, it wasn't quite perfect but it was close enough for me, and it cannot be quelled nor can it be ignored, they can tell you that I am wrong and bad and that little girls should never play with fire a million times over and they can tell you that Scorpius and Lily cannot and will not exist ever again.

But i know that they're lying.

(and I think that you might too)

They could burn down all of our bridges and lock me up in chains and place you in a faraway tower, but somehow still, I would come back for you – I would walk across hot coals just to hold your body against mine and I would battle dragons to feel your skin on my skin.

And I know I should have said this a long time ago.

I should have whispered it in your ear every day and shouted it from the rooftops because you deserve that and so much more.

I don't know why I haven't told you this yet but I need you to know that:

Lily, my dear,

I love you.

And I always have and always will and I will love you unconditionally, even if you can never love me – I will spend the rest of forever regretting the fact that I never told you what I should've said every single night.

I know that it probably won't change anything, but I needed you to know that it is true, Lily, I love you.

So, dear, please stop and think about what we have done.

Think about what we once were and think of the epic romance we spun and think of everything that we could ever be, and maybe, somewhere in your heart, you'll find a part of you that could forgive me and love me the way that I love you.

Until the moment that you find it (and even if you never do) I promise that I will wait for you.

Yours, always,
Scorpius.