Disclaimer : Hajime Isayama
warning : alternate time, alternate storyline, english is not the first language of the author. Therefore, pardon the bad grammar or false vocabularies.
Story taken place after humanity restore the district Trost. Skipped to the appearance of ape titan.
Since the first time I recognize her, she always on my mind. Even though I know that she seeing somebody else, I still couldn't get over her off my mind. I'm not really sure what makes me let her swinging on my mood, I feel better when she's on my sight.
That night, somebody suddenly pass in front of my eyes. It's only happened for few seconds, but I won't let her slip away. Few seconds left my anchor stuck on her beach. It's not really about her mesmerizing black hair, it seems like the more I know about her, the more I get attached to her.
Her name is Mikasa. Mikasa Ackerman.
Years gone by, and she still on my mind. I knew she's always together with some suicidial asshole with his childish dreams to eliminate all titans. I'm a realist, I knew Mikasa never see another people as important as the way she seeing Eren. They've been together since they were kids, I knew they are family without blood relative. But Mikasa stuck to Eren as the way I stuck to her. Even though I could tell that Eren cares her like some nagging sister or mother. Well, to be honest, I don't really know what he really feel about Mikasa, but I don't see Eren treat her like lover. It means, I still have a chance.
Today is wednesday. In Friday to Sunday, I have my day out. And Mikasa too. Good thing is, Eren is on duty at that day. Hehehe ... this is great. It's been 3 weeks since I'm trying to asking Mikasa out to take a walk, but there's always something going on. Everytime I tried to talk to Mikasa, somebody gives me order to patrol in some area. If there's no order, I couldn't find Mikasa anywhere. And when I get to approach Mikasa face to face ...
"Umm ... Mikasa. Hi." Shit! My legs are shaking!
"Yes, Jean. Hi." as usual, she answers coldly, without even turn her looks at me. Well, at least she knew it's my voice. And couldn't blame her too because I asked her at the border of district Trost where we manage to retake the area from the titans. There's still titans lurking around outside the border, and she must watch their activities carefully. Just some daily patrol.
"How's the titans today?"
She finally turn her heads to look at me, confused. "As you see there."
"Oh yeah, right." Shit! I must be looks like a joke! A shit joke! It's been tree weeks since I bought a ring for her past birthday present. And I haven't say anything until now. Damn, Jean! Just say those damn ten words why is it so hard?
What if she says 'no'?
I will be very hurt. At least I say it. Yes, I'm a realistic guy, I knew she would answers 'no'. So, after she says 'no', I'll just give her the ring. And leave it that way, whether she likes it or not, it will not be my concern.
"Umm, Mi-Mikasa, woudh-woudh-woudh..." Damn, it's harder to say it when she looking back at me! Usually she stares to another direction! 'Would you like to go out with me this weekend?' even the first word is very hard to slip on my tounge
"Wud?" she asks.
"Woudh-woudh ..." I'm still chuckling on my own words! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I used to be a honest man, say whatever on my mind. But this ... I feel like all my legs are gone, the nape of my neck seems ripped by someone's razor blade.
I stopped when I heard Connie calling out my name. "Jean! There you are! Hey, Jean, the commander asks you to help cleaning up the mess that ..."
I losing my grip, I turn around and yelled at him, "What? Another sudden task? Fuck! This happening again! I will never ask her out! Darn you Connie! I just need few more seconds and give this birthday present to Mikasa! Why you must appears out of nowhere with that damn stupid task!"
I stunned.
Connie stunned.
Mikasa's expression remains cold as she always do when Eren's not around.
"What's the fuss, man? If you want to ask her out, just ask right away. It doesn't take long time to say it. I can wait, the assignment can wait too." It seems very easy for him to say it.
I grabbed on his colar jacket and completely forgot that Mikasa still watching us. "You don't know how hard for me to say it, I must fight against my fucking grogginess. I look like a complete retard this way, that's why I waited for the right moment to ask her when she's completely alone! ... Now that I think about it, how did you find me here?"
"Somebody says Jean left with a very serious face and somewhat blushing to his ears. So I guess you went to see the girl you like."
"What?" Seriously! How did he know?!
"Uhh, Jean." That voice reminds me that after all those things that Connie says, Mikasa still around. She heard everything. It's a one-sided love, I will be very embarassed if anybody knew.
"What's going on?" she asks.
When I don't know how to face her now, Connie shouts, "He likes you, Mikasa, and it looks like he wants to ask you out."
I should save my sorry ass! "No, Mikasa, it's..."
"Let's hang out, then."
I stunned again. In different way.
"Whoa ... I can't believe it. Mikasa is dating people other than Eren! Congratulation, buddy!" Connie tapping on my back.
"It's not a date, ok? I just ask you out." I knew she only loves Eren, I must be realistic!
"Even if it's a date, it's still ok." she continues and gives me a little smile. The smile that I long to see, the smile that always appears in my dreams, the smile she only gave to Eren.
"Ok, on Friday 3 pm, I will wait you in Southern area of Wall Rose."
"Sheeshh, Jean, what are you going to do there? Only solitary mountain and ... ah, I see." Connie quickly grins.
I worriedly turn over to Mikasa, wondering if she think negatively about Connie's own imagination about what he address as 'solitary mountain'. I want to take her there so nobody such Eren will found us and disturb our private time, and so when I get groggy, nobody will see it and use it to make a fool of me. I thought Mikasa had a second thought about it, but looks like it's not.
"See you later, Jean."
I bid farewell and follow Connie. I swinging like crazy across the town. I feel like a fireworks right now.
When Connie arrives, he celebrate it, shouting to the other soldiers, "Jean will get laid! Jean finally get laid!"
I quickly suffocate him to shut up before he tells anyone about Mikasa. Besides, it's not like that!
To be continued ...
