Before Know Your Guy, please read the following message. Know Your Guy has nothing to do with Batman or DC. Bruce Wayne paid me for some odd reason to put this up. What does Batman have to do with a teenage boy? Anyway, continue reading. Um, OK, hold on. Oh, and no animals were harmed during the filming of this show. Helen Mire is owned, yes literally owned by some girl. I don't know. Cue voice man!

Voice man: Its TIME FOR KNOW YOUR GUY!

The host, Helen Mire, sat on the stool, smiling brightly at the camera. Terri grumbled on the seat. The other three girls in three separate spaces couldn't see him behind the mirror but he could see them.

Mire: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Know Your Guy! Today's guess is Terrence McGinnis. His three women of choice are, from the right, Dana, Melanie and Maxine. Now, only the first two have been labeled 'love interests' but we feel there could be potential between the young man and his friend 'Max'. I will ask the girls a question and only the specific person can answer. The other can't hear the question or answer. We'll begin with Dana.

Dana, how would you describe Terrence.

Dana: Hot cute but very self-absorbed. He spends more time at some dumb job then with me. I am very special and need special attention.

Mire: Very good, Terrence, what do you think.

Terri: I think you should call me Terri. Terrence sounds gay.

Mire: Forgive me, Terri. Anyway, Melanie, what do you think about TERRI.

Melanie: Very very, very good looking. He's just not committed and doesn't know a good thing when he has it. And he's a great kisser, to.

Mire: Wonderful, Terri?

Terri: She's not that bad a kisser herself. Actually, she sucks at it. I do most of the work.

Mire: Ugh, well, teenagers. So, Maxine, what do you think about Terri?

Max: First, call me Max, Maxine's too formal.

Mire looks irritated and sighed.

Mire: MAX, what do YOU think about TERRI!

Max: Physically, I don't need to say anything. He's a good-looking guy all the way. He's very dedicated and hates being judged falsely. He'll go out of his way to prove himself. Shortly, he's pretty arrogant. He's a wonderful friend and is always there when you need him.

Mire: Really? Wow, that was sweet, Terri?

Terri: She's my friend, she's never known me as a boyfriend or an ex- boyfriend so of course she's gonna be nice.

Mire shook her head, her perfect red hair swaying. She placed the first card down and returned to Dana.

Mire: Dana, what do you think Terri looks for in a girl?

Dana: Someone who doesn't mind being held up and looks good.

Mire: Wow that was harsh. Melanie, what do you think Terri looks for in a girl?

Melanie: Um, hold on a minute. . Well, I'd say good looks. I'm VERY pretty and well; he went out with me, didn't he? So I guess it is looks.

Mire: Well, I'm sure not guessing brains. And if that's all you can say for yourself, then you must be REALLY special. Max, what do you think Terri looks for in a girl?

Max: I know when he meets a girl, the first thing is what he can tell by her looks. No, he's not shallow. If a girl's nice, she won't have frown line or stern eye brows. See? And mostly he wants patience, understanding, and trust. Definitely trust.

Mire: Wow. Terri, who do you agree with most?

Terri: Max.

Mire: Why? Because it sounds the nicest?

Terri glared at the host and she glared right back.

Terri: NO. It's because it's true. Ask the other two how many times I've asked for trust and you'll see. And try and diss me one more time and you'll see just how I ended up a juvenile delinquent in the first place.

Mire cleared her throat.

Mire: I believe you.

She muttered. She placed her second card down.

Mire: Dana, what is Terri's best attribute.

Dana: He looks good and that's a big plus. He looks good and it looks good being with him so I try my best.

Mire: Wow. that was. truthful? Anyway, Melanie, what do you like best about Terri?

Melanie: Definitely his kissing. Oh can he kiss!

Mire: I see. Max, what's the best thing about Terri to you.

Max: I don't know.

Mire: That's says a lot.

Max: Don't misinterpret me. I mean I'm not sure because he's a very great guy. He's very dependable when you need him most. But physically I love his eyes. It's something I've always liked about him. He has these pale icy eyes that tell you everything he's feeling and thinking.

Mire: Oh. That's disappointing but very romantic. Terri?

Terri: I think I'm beginning to think of Max differently.

Mire: Great.

Terri: You don't have to sound so excited.

Both their sarcastic remarks held hostility. She cleared her throat and flashed one of her perfect smiles and picked up another card.

Mire: This is similar to another question we asked. Specifically, what body part of a girl does Terri like most?

Dana: Hair. I have great hair.

Mire repeats her question to Melanie.

Melanie: Um boobs? Can I say that?

Mire: Uh, well, you already said it.

Melanie: Oh, sorry.

Mire: Max, what do you think Terri likes best, physically, about a girl.

Maxine: Lips. Terri loves kissing. He wants full lucious lips that he can kiss. He also, though I never asked him and resulted in a pillow to his face, does this nibbling thing. I don't know, he just likes kissing that way.

Mire: Max, you have such a peculiar perspective of Terri.

Max: Uh. is that good?

Mire: Moving on! What does Terri think about you?

Dana: He thinks I'm the best thing that's happened to him and I am.

Terri: And I'm the shallow one?

Mire: Good point. What do you think Terri thinks about you?

Melanie: I think he thinks. wait, I'm confused. Is it what he thinks or what I think?

Mire: Terri, learn this lesson now, never date a blonde.

Terri: I know.

Mire: What does he think!

Melanie: Um, I'm a good kisser?

Terri: Nope.

Mire: Max What does he think about you?

Max: He thinks I'm edgy and that I'm a tad over protective. And a little nosy. He also thinks I'm his best friend and am the only one he trusts besides the old guy.

Mire: Who is this old guy? His father?

Terri: No. My boss.

Mire: You trust your boss? I never heard that one before. Is she right?

Terri: Yes. Compared to the two twits who act like they have brain damage.

Mire: Last, what does Terri consider a date.

Dana: I wouldn't know, he never makes it to our dates.

Mire: Melanie, what does Terri consider a date?

Melanie: Romantic.

Mire: No a date.

Melanie: A romantic date?

Mire: forget it, just.Terri, don't pick her. Just don't. Make my job easier.

Terri: You don't have to tell me twice.

Mire: Maxine, what do you think Terri considers a date?

Max: He's NO romantic! He would be totally lost and would normally ask me what's the best thing for a date.

Terri: She has a point.

Mire: I see.

Max: BUT if he had to take me out, we'd just hang out and eat pizza. Nothing special. Maybe dance at a club. It's so funny when he dances. He looks like a shot chicken.

Helen knelt over in laughter. Terri was red and smacked his forehead. Dana began fixing her hair and Melanie was applying lipstick. Max was waiting patiently.

Mire: A shot chicken? Damn, that's bad.

Terri: She's just exaggerating. She IS my best friend. So she just kids around like that.

Mire: Sure and I'm Bruce Wayne. *Tu ta tum! *

Mire: Terri, have you made your choice?

Terri: Max.

Mire: Let the girls out.

Max walked out and folded her arms across her chest. She tilted her head. Melanie looked at Dana and Dana looked at Melanie.

Melanie: Who are you? His ho?

Dana: No but you look like one. I'M his girl friend!

Melanie: I'M his lover!

The two began a catfight. The camera crew began to hoot.

Crew: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Mire whistles sharply and everyone stops. Terri and Max were eating popcorn. She sat on the floor next to Terri.

Mire: Like I had begun, you three are here on my show, Know Your Guy. If you've seen it, a guy listens to answers of questions given to three love interests. He then chooses one of them. Normally it's based on how much the girl knows him.

Dana: Max! You're a love interest?

Melanie: I always knew she was a desperate ho.

Max: If I'm the one who's desperate how come you come to him crying and begging for him to take you back.

Melanie turned crimson red. Dana laughed in her face. Mire moaned in aggravation.

Mire: GIRLS!

Girls: Yes?

Mire: Terri has a choice.

Terri: Yeah. It's Max.

Max: Woo-Hoo.

Terri: You could sound a little more excited, Max.

Max: I could, but I won't. And obviously I didn't.

Melanie: Whoa, she's like so smart!

Dana: She is like super genius!

Melanie: Wanna go shopping?

Dana: Sure!

The two girls left. Terri looked disturbed and Max just shook her head. Mire threw her cards.

Mire: I quit! I don't care if my grandpa was Jerry Springer, these kids today are just too much trouble! I'm going to follow my dream and be a ballerina!

Max: Good luck!

Terri: Good riddance.

Mire: You to, @$$hole.

Max: Ouch.

Terri: &%#@$

Mire: $&#(*#

Crew: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Max: Uh, Helen, go and. and be a ballerina.

Helena walked away on her tiptoe. Max got up and walked off the stage. Terri followed in a jog. Suddenly very cheesy music comes on and the show ends.

You like? I was really bored and had no idea how to express how much I hate Terri/Dana and just Dana herself. I think Ten, or Melanie is not the best. I think Max has lots of potential. Now I just don't like Dana, it doesn't mean she's not a good character. She's the kind of girl I would smack in front of the whole school. Review, please!!!!!