A/N-
Thanks a bunch to my Beta BlueSea14 :) There's also a second part to this one-shot, it's not over yet! (I guess I can't really call it a one-shot then...)

Disclaimer- I do not, in any way, own the characters and/or plot in the following story. All Stepenie Meyer ). I just like to mess around with her stuff.

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I hated myself.

No. I despised, resented, completely and utterly loathed myself.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd hunted. I couldn't remember the last time I felt less than this disgusting, despicable self. All I can remember, all I can think of is Bella. Of course, it's always been that way. But I'd never felt sicker just looking at her. I'd never felt more suicidal, not even 6 months ago, when I had gone to the Volturi. And I would go back to them today, if Bella did not need me.

I crouched on the floor beside her thin, wasted body. Bella's eyes were closed, her breaths coming out heavy and shallow. Her skin was stretched thin across her face, her hands, her ankles. The phrase 'skin and bones' applied to creatures twice as healthy as she.

Bella did not look at me as I clutched her feeble hand within my own. I was glad. I hated pretending, hated having to look content in front of her eyes. But I cannot make it any harder on my love; she's suffering enough as it is. I try so hard to resist crumbling into pieces when she's watching.

Why did I agree, why in the world did I ever agree with her 'compromise'? I'm a monster. More than I ever had been. You said we could try, she had said, we belong together. How I wish I hadn't given in to my irrational desires. It had resulted in her pain. That thing in her, that thing that I gave her... is killing her. My sweet, beautiful, fragile, ridiculous Bella was dying – and I couldn't stop it.

Jasper was complaining, groaning in his mind. He hated my dark brooding, my self-loathing. But what he was going through was hardly one-thousandth of what I've been feeling. He knew that, and it was the only reason he hadn't said anything.

Apart from suffering like me in seeing Bella waste away, Alice was frustrated beyond belief: her attempts to see Bella's future failed, now that she's carrying the... demon. But I couldn't dwell on that. I already knew the future. No matter how strong Bella thinks she is, she's delusional. She couldn't survive this; my wonderful, beautiful Bella would die in my arms. My hands would be forever stained with her blood.

I sunk further into my despair from the weight of my pain,my head bumped into Bella's thigh. She exhaled softly, turning her head to my direction. Her hand rested on my head only a second before I removed it and held it to my cheek, my face now a composed mask of false calm and reassurance. Perhaps my façade wasn't as perfect as I'd like to think, however, because she frowned as if she could feel even more pain than she was already in. Her fingers curled around the curve of my face, her brown eyes staring at me with sadness – and fortitude.

I sighed and looked away. I hated myself even more for letting her die before my eyes. I pushed her hands gently away and laid them back on her lap. Burying my face in my knees, my unshed tears consumed me.

"Oh." Alice breathed quietly, and everyone but Bella and I turned to look at her. "Finally, he's coming. "

Bella glanced at Alice, a dim ray of hope lighting up her sallow face.

"Or at least I'm guessing." Alice retaliated, "It could be any other werewolf. Perhaps we should defend ourselves just in case."

She's right. They could be after something more than a joyful reunion.

Bella's brow furrowed, and she trembled slightly with despair. My arms shot out to comfort her, but Rosalie beat me there, hissing under her breath. At me…

I clenched my teeth as I contemplated, for the thousandth time this past week, how much pleasure it would give me to rip my arrogant and vain sister into small pieces.

Jasper's hand came down on my shoulder, warning me to keep my temper under control without making a sound. I swatted him off with force that would've broken all of his fingers, if he were not made of stone.

Carlisle and Emmett were already discussing strategies in how to handle a werewolf attack; Jasper longed to join in, but instead watched me carefully. Apparently I'm the deranged psychopath of the household now... They ought to strap Rosalie down in a vampire-proof straitjacket.

"We might need to head them off, fight somewhere else." Carlisle planned.

"But then that means we lose the support of Edward and Rose." Esmé chimed sadly.

"No!" Bella gasped feebly, in a flash I was on the couch, my arm around my wife, ready to brace myself against any disaster.

"Jacob wouldn't! If they just came, if they saw me like this... I'm not a vampire yet, they have no reason to attack!" Bella seemed spent after her speech. I relaxed slightly, relieved that she was not physically hurt.

I gazed at her thin face and my dead heart strained against my chest in pain. What was I talking about; of course she was hurt, look at her! Not only is her best friend most likely leading the charge to destroy us, she's carrying a demon, one which I had full responsibility of. For a moment, my face slipped from its façade, my eyes watered with imaginary tears and my face taunt with tension.

But Bella noticed nothing, because at the same time, the phone rang dimly in the background. Carlisle answered after the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Carlisle! How's Bella? Please, let me speak to her." Charlie's voice was lined with frantic worry and tainted with hopelessness. He knew there was no way through Carlisle.

"Charlie," Carlisle's voice was saturated with patience and kindness, "I'm so sorry. But she cannot speak to you. I will call you as soon as she's well enough to do so. Please, just wait for my call."

"She's my daughter. Please." He sounded close to tears. If he knew the truth, he would be nearly as devastated as me. He would probably want to kill me, as well – and I couldn't say that I wouldn't welcome it. I deserved death.

"Charlie, please understand. I'm not trying to be difficult, but there is simply no way. She's just too weak. I'm sorry."

"Is she ever going to be alright?" His voice was flat and dead now.

"I'm sure she'll be perfectly fine after this sickness has passed; it's just taking a while." To human ears, Carlisle sounded completely convincing, but I could catch his doubt and hopelessness.

"Just call me as soon as there's anything new. And tell her I love her so much."

"You need not ask that at all."

"Thank you."

Bella was trembling by the end of the phone call, tears welling in her eyes. Her teeth came down on her bottom lipwhile air gushed in and out of her mouth as she struggled not to sob.

I brushed a strand of her matted hair out of her pale, sullen face and held her chin up to look in her eyes. Two giant tear drops landed on my hand. They felt very warm. I looked her in the eye with sad tenderness, undying love, and hopeless pain. I saw everything reflected back at me. Her big beautiful brown eyes were full of frustration, pain, love, and determination. Her right hand came up to caress my own, while her left automatically cradled the obscene bulge on her stomach.

There was no way I could take that demon from Bella without scarring her forever.

Bella. My beautiful, pure Bella was in love with yet another monster, a demon that was killing her far more slowly than I ever would have. Why has fate dealt her this horrible hand?

I should never have come into her life.

Pain crossed her eyes as she read the emotions in mine. I had been too slow to look away, to prevent her from seeing the agony inside of me. I shook my head slightly and smiled her favorite crooked smile, trying to reassure her.

Then I heard him.

Ok. So I'll just walk in, see Sam's precious evidence for myself, and then challenge Edward to a duel. The parasite'd probably get a kick out of the theatrics of it.

Bella's brows furrowed with worry as a dark look came over my face. I leaned in to peck her lips softly, and stood up.

"Jacob's coming alone, to kill me."

A/N-
So what do you think? Please send me a review so I can know what to improve on! Thanks. :)