Title: Family Guy; You can't trust a killer whale

Summary: Peter's obsession with boats and Lois's desire to go to Seaworld collide into Lois becoming a whale trainer who can talk to Tilikum.

Rated: M for Mature

Disclaimer: Family guy is owned by Seth McFarlane, and I do not. Therefore, This is Free Fanfiction, not to be sold for profit illegally.

Note: This particular fanfic must be read with a dark sense of humor in mind. The sensitive subject of whale captivity, and trainer deaths are mocked. If you are offended or opinionated on the subject matter, Please hit "Back" on your Web browser and read something else. I don't want to reply to crybabies.

Chapter 1 - The Quahog boat show

The Quahog news 5 crew was at the local Quahog boat show.

"Good afternoon, i'm Tom Tucker!" said Tom Tucker

"And i'm Diane Simmons. Today we are at the annual Quahog boat show, where the local seamen can get a good look at ships, and scrape the barnacles off her hull!" said Diane

"Well Diane, now that you mention seamen and your hull, i'm about to throw up." said Tom

Over a ways, Peter and Lois were checking out boats.

"Oh boy, how about this one, Lois?" asked Peter

"I don't know Peter." said Lois

"Really Lois? You can't trust a vessel with the name S.S. Titanic?" said Peter

"No, I just can't. Besides Peter, we're just here to look." said Lois

Over at the mermaid tank, Chris was totally enamoured with the mermaid girls. One of them swam up to Chris, and planted a kiss on the glass.

"They're so pretty." he glued his eyes to the mermaids

But Stewie, on the other hand, was less enthusiastic.

"Look at that skinny red-haired one, who is she? Molly Ringwald with

a crack addiction?"

Chris kept leaning up against the glass, then the glass shattered and all the mermaids fell into the viewing area. A fat mermaid landed on Stewie.

"Not a fat one! Oh, this is worse than that time the characters from Sesame Street ate at KFC."

(cutaway)

Gordon and Susan were eating fried chicken at the KFC on Sesame street.

Then Gordon started choking on something.

"What is it Gordon?" asked Susan

Gordon coughed out a yellow feather.

"Oh my god! Big bird! ahhh!" screamed Gordon

Then Gordon and Susan ran out of the KFC and as fast as they could

away from it. they ran past Oscar the Grouch.

"Now there's something you don't usually see. Black people running away from KFC."

(end cutaway)

Back home, Lois and Peter were discussing a vacation.

"So Peter, I was thinking about going to Florida." said Lois

"Oh, can we visit grandma and grandpa in Palm Springs?" asked Meg

"No one cares about N'sync Meg, we're talking about a vacation!" said Peter

"Can we go to Disneyland?" asked Chris

"We went to Disneyland last year, let's go to Seaworld again!" said Lois

"No way Lois! Remember what happened last time we went to Seaworld?" Peter asked

(cutaway)

The family's at Seaworld when Lois is given a kiss by the whale, when Peter runs up and punches out the whale.

"How long has this been going on?" he asked

(end cutaway)

"I heard that whale died last year from blunt force trauma. Something about a fat guy hitting him." said Lois

Then Brian chimed in.

"No, Lois! Peter! You can't go to Seaworld! Those animals are treated like crap." said Brian

"Of course they are Brian. They're animals." said Peter

"You don't get it, do you Peter? Animal cruelty is a problem! Even Bob Barker hates Seaworld." said Brian

(Cutaway)

Bob Barker was onscreen, talking.

"Be a winner for animals, by avoiding such sad exhibits. I hate seaworld! I also hate Adam Sandler! He worked for one in 50 first dates!"

(end cutaway)

"Well I agree with Brian, we're not goin' to Seaworld, that's final." said Peter

"They have boats there." said Lois

"Sold! Kids! Pack your undies! We're goin' to Seaworld! This is gonna be more fun than Ball-in-a-Cup!" said peter

"No, No, No! Don't do another Ball-in-the-Cup joke! They got old a long time ago!" blurted out Brian.