Alfred F. JonesXReader: Lunch Time Rants!
A/N: This is my First XReader for Alfred F. Jones (aka:America). WARNING: and this is rated M for 'EXTREME' Strong Language. If you don't like that kind of thing, then don't read it. Don't own America, Hetalia, or its characters, or the Reader. I just own the story and idea.
I also don't own Volbeat or it's lyrics to the song: 'Still Counting'. L yrics for Volbbeat-"Still counting": still_counting_lyrics_
I also don't own the quote used in the beginning of story (quote belongs to the Nostalgia Critic) (Youtube~Nostalgia Critic AVGN Rant 3)
This fanfic is dedicated to my mom, who taught me to stick up for myself. The Character for the XReader is based off her, coz my mom would never let anyone talk down to her like that, without a fight! (LUV YOU MOM!^_^)
Alfred F. JonesXReader: Lunch Time Rants!
~Lunchtime~
"You dirty, stuck-up,sadistic, shit-eating, cock-sucking, butt-fucking, penis-smelling, crotch-grabbing, ball- licking, semen-drinking, dog-raping, Nazi-loving, child-touching, cow-humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, dickless, testicle-choking, ….
….urine-gargling, jerk-offing, horse-face, sheep-fondling, toilet kissing, self-centered, feces-puking, dildo-shuffling, snot-spiting, crab-gathering, big-nose, monkey-slapping, bastard screwing, bean sheading, fart knocking, sap busting...
…..bluche-tasting, bear-blowing, head-swallowing, bitch-snatching, head-jobbing, doggie-caressing,mucus- spewing, anal-plugging, hoe-grabbing, uncircumcised, sewer-sipping, whore-mongering, piss-swimming, midget-munching, douchebag, hoe-biting, carnivorous, male-order, brock-up, dirty . . . .
….ASSHOLE!"
The words came out of your mouth, shocking everyone in the lunch room. Even some of your friends, were staring at you, like you had grown two heads or you had just had a mental breakdown from the loony bin.
"Whoa…." Alfred said, for once actually not saying a stupid comment that he usually says. Even Arthur was speechless as his jaw literally just dropped, at hearing anyone say something like that, let alone a girl.
You started gasping for air, as you glared angry eyes at the tramp cheerleader in front of you.
"Well, bitch….think you can top that?" You said, as you waited for her to speak…
~Le Backwards time wrap to 3 hours ago~
"_?"
"_?"
"Yoo-hoo!" A hand waved back in front of your face as you kept staring into space, trying to ignore the sounds of your good friend, Alfred, trying to get your attention.
You weren't in the mood to deal with him, since your day had already been starting to turn crappy.
Your alarm clock didn't go off, so you overslept and you almost missed your bus, when your mom wanted you to take out the trash.
Then when you finally got to the bus stop, you got tripped once again, by a leg that was sticking out. You tried not to glare daggers at who had done it, as you saw it was one of the popular cheerleader's at your high school.
"Oh I'm sssorry, I didn't see you there." She faked cooed at you, her voice dripping with fake sympathy as her friends snickered at you, for falling.
You held your temper in, or otherwise, you would have ripped that fucking smile right off her goddamn face and make her give you a real fucking apology, right in front of her snobby-ass friends.
Then it just got even shitter as the day passed on….
Your locker wouldn't open again, for the millionth time and when you finally did get it open, someone had put a pair of boxers in it. You quickly threw them in the nearest trash can, as you went to go get your books for class…
As a playboy magazine with your picture taped on the cover wearing devil panties and horns, was stashed in your locker.
That was it: YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH!
You knew who was responsible for your bad day and were gonna take it up with them….personally. (*since they were stupid enough to write their name on the magazine in pink lipstick*)
You barged into the classroom, angry flames in your eyes as you stormed over to your desk and waited. After a few minutes had passed, you heard the door open and saw Alfred come in, and take a seat across from you.
He started to go on about the new video game that he just got as you dully ignored his voice as a hand grabbed for the magazine that you had under your elbow.
"Whoa, dude! What is this…. -! WHAT THE HELL?" You quickly turned your head as you saw Alfred's wide eyes looking at the magazine with a look of horror and shock on his face. "How did…. when did…you…" He stuttered outloud, not knowing what to say.
"That's not my doing…"You said as you stared at your desk.
"What the hell are you talking about _?" He asked, not knowing what you meant.
"You should know me better than that Alfey! I would never do something that shitty or lowlife like that!" You said in a low gravely tone.
"Then, who did do this?" He asked as he quickly and quietly handed you back the magazine, so know one would see it.
"Take a wild fucking guess Alfey:
And the first two don't count!" You said, as he quickly put two and two together. He groaned outloud as he face-palmed himself.
He knew who you were talking about and he was now feeling pissed off, at who had did this awful prank. You knew it two and you both gonna have to deal with this today.
The person who had did this, was that same damn cheerleader who tripped you on the bus. She was always teasing you and messing with you since you first started high school…..and see only did it because, you hung out with Alfred.
You see, she had eyes for Alfred and wanted to go out with him, so she kept trying to find ways to break up your friendship with him.
And when you were dealing with her pranks, she was trying to flirt and put the moves on Alfred, who didn't fall for them . . .
Not one time.
Guess she was running out of ideas, so she must have taken them up the next level….
Speaking of the bitch . . . guess, who just walked through the damn door?
You groaned as she trotted her way to where Alfred was sitting, as she boldly sat on his desk, so she could have his full attention.
"Hi Alfred…" She cooed sweetly, trying to get his attention to only look at her. You tried not to make a gagging sound as she continued to egg him to hang out with her, again.
This was starting to make your stomach churn, so you wanted it to end: Now!
You quickly shot up from your desk and grabbed her by the shirt, not caring who was watching.
"What the hell do you think your doing?" She screeched at you, as you stared at her, not really giving a shit.
"What gave you the fucking right to put this shit in my locker, huh?" You growled angrily at her as you threw the magazine at her, letting it smack her in the face.
She just stared at you, as she whined like the bitch she was, trying to tell you off. You rolled your eyes at her, as you pulled her close to you, forcing her to look you in your (eye color choice) eyes.
"You have to be the stupidest idiot I have ever met. Can't you see, that no one cares what the fuck you say?" You said, letting the words sink into her mind.
"But, if you still want to settle this, then let's settle it…today, ….. noon…. lunchtime…. cafeteria." You said as you let go of her shirt as she quickly got off the desk and started to walk out of the classroom.
"Yeah, we'll settle this…your dead girlie!" She said, trying to act tough.
"Same to you bitch: NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!" You bellowed at her, as she left the classroom. You went to go back to your seat, letting out a breath as the rush started coming down.
"Whoa _, that was something." Alfred said, kinda a little shocked that you could say something like that.
"Yeah, and it's only just getting started…." You said as you got out a book and started to read.
~Lunchtime~
You sat at your usual table with Alfred and the usual group of friends. It was a mixed crowed of people, some you had known since you were a kid.
Arthur was arguing with Alfred once again, as Alfred kept egging Arthur on, who was just getting madder.
Kiku and Yao (the two Japanese and Chinese foreign students) were having a discussion on whatever they usually talk about.
Ivan, (that really silent creepy Russian guy) was staring at everyone like he usually does, with that childish like smile on his face.
And as usual….
Felicano (the happy go lucky Italian guy) was wanting to have pasta again, annoying Ludwig (his German friend) for the billionth time today, and earning him a whack on the head.
Felic let out a whiny cry at being whacked on the head, as Alfred laughed at the sight, thinking that was the funniest thing in the world, earning him a glare from Arthur.
You just ignored all of it, as usual, waiting for when it would be time to do what you wanted to do.
As you were about to open your lunch to eat (your favorite lunch food), you heard Arthur let out a groan.
You were familiar with that sound as you knew who would be coming: the bad touch trio.
You just focused on your lunch as Arthur went into another argument, but this time with Francis. (That perverted French guy that gave you the creeps)
The sounds of the arguments were starting to get annoying, so you pulled out your ipod from your pocket and put the headphones in your ears, as you listened to the last song you listened to last night:
Counting all the assholes in the room
Well I´m definitely not alone, well I´m not alone
You´re a lier, you´re a cheater, you´re fool
Well that´s just like me yoohoo and I know you too
Mr. Perfect don´t exist my little friend
And I tell you it again, and I do it again
Counting all the assholes in the room, Well I´m
definitely not alone, well I´m not alone
Look deep into yourself before you blame all others
for betrayal, for betrayal
I promise, so easy to say, and easy you failed,
and you do it again
Well the music seems do cover
And all the liquid do the colours
Well I turn my back and
go for all the better things in order
Well maybe you think your lie is safe
But I read you like a letter, yeah like a letter
Your charm do not evens the pain
it feeds me with rage, and you do it again
Well the music seems do cover
And all the liquid do the colours
Well I turn my back and
go for all the better things in order
Well the music seems do cover
And all the liquid do the colours
Well I turn my back and
go for all the better things in order
And a gangster keeps on telling
That he got a song that matters
So I flip a coin towards him
Thank you very much for listening
Then, you heard an all too familiar laugh as you pulled out your headphones to see what the commotion was all about. You held back the urge to swear outloud as you saw who was heading for you table.
Miss. Stuck up Cheerleader…aka: "Bitch trasher" as you liked to call her. She walked to your table, like she owned the fucking lunch room as she glared hot daggers at you, I guess for embarrassing her earlier today.
"So, …." She said, in a bored like tone, like you were nothing but an insect to her.
You said nothing, as she droned on about how you were useless and didn't deserve to be under the same school roof as her. You let her continue on to trash you as you said nothing, just waiting for the right moment to strike back at her.
It looked like this caught the attention of some of the people at your table, coz Francis nudged his albino friend Gilbert who pulled out his cell and was starting to video tape the entire thing, with the biggest grin on his face.
You didn't care that the albino bastard was filming it:
hell you would have asked him to do it earlier, but since it was already being done, it just made your plan go even better for you.
As soon as you thought that the bitch was done with her little rant, you got up from your seat, already feeling yourself annoyed and ready to clock the girl out.
"So, do you understand what I'm getting at, you freak?" She said rudely, as a few people let out sharp gasps and other fight club like sounds, knowing that something was going down, pretty soon.
"Well, all I understand right now….is a little bitch, just ranting off about the most useless shit that seems so unimportant right now. And the reason is, coz she's not getting everything she wants, like the spoiled fucking princess she 'thinks' she is!" You said as more people got into this, giving off shouts and cheers as you went head to head with this broad.
"You're a little whore, you stupid little bitch! A no-good little two timing whore!" She to you, with a smirk on her face, thinking she had finally broke you down.
But you had a plan, and it was gonna be good….
You walked up straight to the bitch, like you had practiced all this time I your mind…
Got right in her face…
And said….
"You know what I think about you, every time I see your damn face?" You asked her, not waiting for to answer before you spoke. "I think this:"
…..
…."You dirty, stuck-up,sadistic, shit-eating, cock-sucking, butt-fucking, penis-smelling, crotch-grabbing, ball- licking, semen-drinking, dog-raping, Nazi-loving, child-touching, cow-humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, dickless, testicle-choking, ….
…. urine-gargling, jerk-offing, horse-face, sheep-fondling, toilet kissing, self-centered, feces-puking, dildo-shuffling, snot-spiting, crab-gathering, big-nose, monkey-slapping, bastard screwing, bean sheading, fart knocking, sap busting...
….bluche-tasting, bear-blowing, head-swallowing, bitch-snatching, head-jobbing, doggie-caressing,mucus- spewing, anal-plugging, hoe-grabbing, uncircumcised, sewer-sipping, whore-mongering, piss-swimming, midget-munching, douchebag, hoe-biting, carnivorous, male-order, brock-up, dirty . . . .
…..ASSHOLE!"
The words came out of your mouth, shocking everyone in the lunch room. Even some of your friends, were staring at you, like you had grown two heads or you had just had a mental breakdown from the loony bin.
And that was basically it.
That's how this whole mess started for you.
"Whoa…." Alfred said, for once actually not saying a stupid comment that he usually says. Even Arthur was speechless as his jaw literally just dropped, at hearing anyone say something like that, let alone a girl.
You started gasping for air, as you glared angry eyes at the tramp cheerleader in front of you.
"Well, bitch….think you can top that?" You said, as you waited for her to speak…which her response….
Was nothing.
"Zhat vas AWESOME!" Gilbert yelled in the background, still filming.
You took a mock bow as the girl, started to left the area, bursting into fake like tears, not before she gave a look to Alfred, thinking he might help her. But he just gave her a glaring like look that basically said to fuck off as she started to sniffle and leave the area, not even looking back at you.
"Please tell me you got all that?" You asked Gilbert, who gave you the biggest grin on his face.
"Every beautiful vord, kesesesese~!" He said as you gave him a grin back as he stopped filming. You felt a hand on your shoulder as you turned to see Alfred looking at you, as he looked like he had something that he wanted to say.
"Um, Look_, about what happened earlier…" He started to say, but you cut him off.
"Forget it, it's nothing. You had nothing to deal with it, so I understand if you want…" You said, not wanting to go any further with the conversation, than it already was.
You started to leave the area, heading down the hallway to your locker, trying to hold back tears, that you didn't want anyone to see.
You were such an idiot sometimes…you couldn't even tell the one person that you liked in the entire world that you even liked him.
But you knew, that he would never see you that way: he would always see you as a friend, and nothing more.
You felt someone grab your arm as you sharply turned around to tell them off when you let out a gasp at who it was. You could feel a hot light blush starting to form on your cheeks as you stared at Alfred with your (eye color choice) eyes.
He stared back at you, face full of worry.
"_, what's wrong?" He asked you, as you said nothing. He started putting the pieces together, figuring out what you knew that you wanted to say.
"Look, if it's about her…" He said, as you felt yourself freeze up. You didn't want to talk about her, not now or ever.
"Look, I don't want to talk about this…" You said, trying to get out of his grip. But Alfred kept a strong iron grip on your arm, not wanting you to go and escape.
"But I want to talk about it! I want you to listen!" He said as he pulled you close to him and embraced you tightly, making sure you wouldn't escape.
"Look _," You heard him say, as for once you shut yourself up and listened to what he had to say. "Did you ever think I had feeling for her? I know she was always trying to ask me out, but did you ever once ask yourself, why I turned her down all those times?"
You didn't answer him, as you started thinking carefully on his questions that he had asked you. You just couldn't figure it out and you didn't even want to know why.
"Look, if you really don't me to know that you have someone else in mind…." You started to say, but you were cut off.
"ARE YOU AN IDIOT _?" Your shoulders were roughly grabbed as you forced yourself to at Alfred, who stared hard at you.
"Can't you see that it's you? That all I want is you? I turned her down all those times, because I already have someone that I have feeling for and dammit _, it's you!" He said to you, as you stood there shocked at his words.
"I have…..always liked you_, ever since…. we were kids. I have….never thought of us….as 'Just friends'….." He said to you, as his voice got a little lower and he inched his face close to yours. You just kept staring at his eyes, not knowing what to say or do.
"_...I love you….." He said, as his face got closer to yours. "I love you…so much….." He whispered the words that you had so longed to hear, as his lips found yours, pulling you closer to him as he embraced you while he kissed you.
You could feel your mind going fuzzy at the feeling of the kiss. It was soft and gentle, almost like him, but with a little bit of a kick to it.
You kissed him back, feeling like you had just entered nirvana heaven, not wanting it to end.
But breathing was starting to become a little difficult, as the kiss was broken off and both of you came up for air, your face now with a deeper blush.
Alfred gave you a grin, as you grinned back.
"I guess you don't need me to tell you what you already know." You said, feeling the blush still on your face.
"Yea, I know, but I still want to hear you say it _." Alfred said, as you mentally face palmed yourself.
"Ok, ok….I love you too, Alfred." You said, as he gave you a cocky grin.
"What, no Alfey this time?" He teased in a fake whiny voice.
"Hero's shouldn't have nicknames, goofball." You teased him back.
"Hey, the hero should always have a nickname….and the girlfriend of the hero should always call him by the nickname!" He teased some more as you mentally face palmed yourself.
You just had to fall in love with this guy…but, after all that has happened today, whatever comes next….
Will be totally worth it.
"So…wanna go tease the hell out of iggy?" Alfred asked, he gave you a cocky grin.
"Do you need to ask?" You said, as you gave him a cocky grin back and walked back down the hallway, grabbing his hand and holding it tight, as he gave your hand a squeeze back, not ever wanting to let it go.
~The End~
A/N: Wow, this is the longest XReader I have ever done. Almost 11 Pages when I wrote this. (big one for me) so, I might write more for America, but I would like to know about the story. Since this my first XReader for America, I would like to know how I did on it, in case I need to improve on it better for next time.
So…..YA or NAY of you like it. YA or NAY if it should go on. Please write up a comment or review about it, since this is my first one writing for a type of story like this.
So until next time my friends….STAY COOL AND STAY OTAKU, PEOPLE!
RED DAWN & PARTY ON!
~InuyashaMoonlight634~=^-^=
*done on: May 13, 2012
