CAN'T HAVE JUST ONE!
By Ryan Rinkerman
Written 3/27/05-3/30/05
CHOMP!
Dimmy finished off his sandwich as he watched the shellevision. "That was pretty good! Could've been better, though."
A commercial came on, with fast music in the background. "Do you think your snacks could be better?" the announcer blared.
"Wow!" Dimmy's eyes widened. "It's like it read my mind!"
"Well, here comes Coral Crunch!" The Sea-V showed the yellow and pink wrapper. "New for the summer of '86!"
The camera cut to a blonde Snork, who held the candy bar up. "Crunchy coral bits, mixed in with delicious undersea chocolate! And thanks to our secret ingredients, Coral Crunch will give you a rush so big, it'll make tidal waves jealous!" She took a bite. "Coral Crunch: The most delicious snack under the sea!"
"Oh boy!" Dimmy exclaimed. "I should get some of that!"
The Bubble K convenience store…
A large cutout of the blonde Snork holding a Coral Crunch bar stood in the middle of the store. A table was to the left of the cutout, covered with Coral Crunch bars. Casey, Daffney, and Junior were standing by the table, talking.
"Have you heard about this Coral Crunch bar?" Casey asked her friends. "It just came out today. I think I'll try one."
"You can keep 'em! I'm not going to eat any of those!" Daffney smirked. "I have to keep my figure, you know!"
"Oh, gimme me a break!" Junior rolled his eyes. "It's not like one bar will ruin you for life!"
Dimmy swam into the store. "There you are! My, you look beautiful today!"
Daffney smiled. "Why, thank you, Dimmy! I-"
Dimmy swam to the table and grabbed a Coral Crunch. "It looks so good!"
"Hello?" Daffney waved. "Your girlfriend is standing right here!"
"Oh hi, Daffney! I didn't see you standing there!"
"How nice of you!" Daffney frowned. "I bet you don't even remember what happens tonight!"
"Of course I remember!" Dimmy stood silent for a moment. "What happens tonight?"
"We're going to the Rock Lobster dance club! We've planned this for a week!"
"Oh yeah! Now…what did I come here for?" He looked at the display. "Oh, that's right!" Dimmy grabbed a Coral Crunch. "I can't wait to try this out!" He plunked his money onto the counter and peeled off the wrapper. "See you guys soon!"
As he walked back home, Dimmy bit into the candy bar. He could taste the sweet chocolate and crispy coral. "Mmmmmm…this is clamtastic! I should get another one!" He walked back to the Bubble K. Casey, Daffney, and Junior were still there.
Casey was surprised to see Dimmy again so quickly. "I know you said you'd see us soon, but I didn't think it would be THIS soon!"
"This stuff is so good, it's worth it!" He took three bars, threw his money on the counter, and walked out.
At his house…
Dimmy sat down in his recliner and opened one of his Coral Crunch bars. He bit down, relishing the taste of his candy. "Mmmmmmm! That tastes great! Maybe I'll eat the next one now!" He ripped off the wrapper and stuffed the whole bar in his mouth. "Gosh! Maybe I should save the next bar." He stared at the last bar on the table. "Naaaaaah!" He grabbed it, ripped the wrapper off, and threw it in his mouth. After he was done, he looked around. "Uh-oh. I only bought three bars! I should get more!" He swam up to his room.
Dimmy pulled out a large box. "Wait!" He stopped himself from opening the box. "I was saving these clams for a new bike. Should I really blow it all on Coral Crunch? I mean, all it is is coral and chocolate! Mixed together in a wonderful blend, dancing across my tongue, sliding into my stomach, giving me a sensation I've never felt before…oh, who needs a stupid old bike, anyway?" He stuffed the clams in his pocket and swam off to the Bubble K.
Dimmy swam through the door and saw that there were only ten Coral Crunch bars left. "Hey you!" he called to the worker. "Where are the rest? I want more of these!"
"Sorry, but that's it!" the worker said. "Those things have been selling like kelp cakes!"
"Fine! I'll take these!" He threw his clams on the counter. He swam out. "I need to go to more stores! I MUST HAVE MORE!"
That night…
Dimmy dragged a large, heavy bag into his house. It was full of Coral Crunch bars. "There! I've gone to five stores, and got myself 63 Coral Crunch bars! I'm exhausted! I should eat something!" He lay back in his recliner, opened a bar, and stuck it in his snork. "1…2…3…GO!" He fired the bar in the air, and caught it in his mouth as it fell back. "There we go! I could do this all night! And I will! I don't have anything else to do!"
The Rock Lobster dance club…
"I know what Snorks like, I know what Snorks want…"
As the music blared, Daffney stood against the wall, watching everyone else dance. She was not happy; she had on her newest outfit, her favorite pair of legwarmers, and a brand new pair of hoop earrings. She wanted to look her best for Dimmy, and he didn't even show up! Finally, she gave up, throwing her hands up in the air. "Well, this was a waste of makeup!" Daffney grumbled as she walked out the door.
The next day…
Dimmy got up. "Ahhhhh…what a good night's sleep that was! Now, what do I have planned for today?" He reached into a large pile of Coral Crunch wrappers and pulled out his day planner. "Let's see, today's July 27…here we go! 8:00, buy candy. 8:30, buy candy. 9:00, buy candy. 9:30, buy candy. 10:00, buy candy. 10:30, buy candy. Guess I should go buy the candy!" He swam out the door, craving his Coral Crunch. As he swam to the store, Allstar approached him.
"Dimmy, there's something I'd like to talk to you about!"
"Oh, I know what this is about!" Dimmy growled at Allstar. "You think I'm addicted to Coral Crunch bars, don't you? You think it's unhealthy, don't you? Well, I got news for you! I don't care what you think! This is the best stuff ever, and I'm getting more whether you like it or not!"
Dimmy swam away, leaving Allstar dumbfounded. "So does this mean you don't want my extra ticket to tonight's Tuna Turner concert?"
Dimmy swam into the Bubble K and grabbed a Coral Crunch bar from the table. He held it closely. "My…precious…" he crooned.
"DIMMY FINSTER!"
Dimmy turned around to see Daffney with her arms crossed and an angry scowl on her face. Casey and Junior stood behind her.
"Daffney! What's wrong?"
"I wasted my Saturday night waiting for you to show up at the dance club! I waited for two hours and you never came!
"Uh, I had things to do!" Dimmy nervously stammered. "I had to, uh, vacuum the house! Twice! In a row!"
Casey sighed. "That Coral Crunch is taking over your life!"
"No way, Casey! I'm immune to the stuff!"
Casey shook her head. "It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough! You're gonna have to face it: you're addicted to Crunch!"
"I AM NOT!"
"Dimmy, look at yourself. You're ignoring everything else, making yourself broke, just so you can eat your Coral Crunch!"
"Prove it!"
"You swam all the way to the store and didn't notice you're still in your pajamas!"
Dimmy looked down at his yellow nightclothes and bare feet. Maybe Casey was right after all. "OK! I have a problem! But how can I stop spending my money on this wonderful candy?"
"Well, I have a foolproof solution!" Junior piped up.
Dimmy smiled. "Great! What is it?"
"Shoplift it! That way, you can still enjoy your candy, and you won't spend any money on it!"
Casey glared at Junior. "We need a moral way of doing it, Junior!"
"Sorry! We Wetworths aren't very good with morals!"
"That's why his father's the governor!" Casey thought to herself.
Junior grabbed three Coral Crunch bars and hid them in his pocket. "Now if you excuse me, I think I'll try some of these!" He walked out of the store.
"OK, looks like Junior isn't going to help us." Casey remarked.
"As usual…" Daffney sighed.
"Now, let's deal with your candy problem!" Casey told Dimmy.
Casey's house…
Dimmy sat at Casey's kitchen table. Across from him sat Casey, with a stack of cards in front of her. "Now, first let's see how bad this is!" She held up a card with an ink blot on it. "What does this look like?"
"A Coral Crunch bar!" Dimmy excitedly said.
She picked up another ink blot card. Dimmy said "Oh, that's a Coral Crunch bar!" She then picked up a picture of Daffney. "And that's a Coral Crunch bar!" Finally, Casey whistled to Daffney to come over.
"And what is this?" Casey said, pointing to Daffney.
"A King Neptune-sized Coral Crunch bar!"
"This is going to take a while…"
A while later…
"OK, Dimmy." Casey put a Coral Crunch bar in front of Dimmy. "Now, repeat after me. 'I do not want that Coral Crunch bar.'"
"I do not want that Coral Crunch bar…to go to waste!" He grabbed it.
"Uh-uh!" Casey scolded. "Put it down!" Dimmy did. "Try again. 'I will not eat that candy.'"
"I will not eat that candy." Dimmy repeated.
"I'd much prefer to spend time with my friends!"
"But the Coral Crunch bars ARE my friends!"
"No, they aren't. Who comforts you when you're feeling down? Who keeps you company when no one else will?"
"My candy!" He grabbed it and gobbled it down. "Man, it gets better every time I eat it!"
"And I lose patience every time he eats it!" Casey shook her head. This was going to be harder than she thought.
Still later…
Daffney waved Dimmy's yo-yo back and forth. "Dimmy…you're getting sleepy…sleepy. You're getting so tired…"
"No I'm not!"
"When I count to 3, you won't want any more Coral Crunch bars! 1…2…3!" Daffney snapped her fingers. "Now, do you want the candy bar right in front of you?"
"You bet your snork!" He grabbed the bar and ate it.
"Gee, it looked so easy in those old movies…"
Yes! Even later…
Casey sighed. "We've tried my idea, we've tried Daffney's idea, and Dimmy is still eating those things like crazy! Any other ideas?"
"I have a great idea!" Dimmy said. "This is sure to work!"
"What is it?"
"I'm locking myself in the bedroom, so I can't eat any Coral Crunch bars at all! See ya in the morning!"
"Wow!" Daffney exclaimed. "He's going to great lengths to beat this!"
Casey crossed her arms. "Yes, but where am I going to sleep tonight?"
Dimmy locked the door. "OK. Now, all I have to do is not think about Coral Crunch! Can't…think…about…hey! Maybe Casey has some here!" Dimmy looked under the bed. "Nope!" He looked behind the mirror. "Not there, either!" He looked on the dresser, and saw a picture of himself with Casey and Daffney. He started to get sad. "Look at this. This was me, before I started eating everything! Actually, I ate everything back then, too… but at least before I always had time for my friends! And they really are great friends! They always helped me when I did something dumb. Which was very often. Casey's right! Those Coral Crunch bars taste good, but they don't last very long! True friendships last forever!" He rushed out of the bedroom.
"Daffney, he's back!" Casey called out. "Hide the candy!"
"Who needs it? I've finally learned who my friends are!"
"How did you do that?" Casey asked.
"I saw a picture of me, you, and Daffney, and I thought about how you two are really good friends!"
"Good thing it wasn't a picture of Junior." Daffney remarked. "Otherwise he would've gone even crazier! But it's good to have good old Dimmy back!"
"Well, let's make sure!" Casey said. "Dimmy, meet me in front of my house tomorrow! We're going to give you just one more test!"
The next day…
Casey, Dimmy, and Daffney were walking to the Bubble K. "OK, Dimmy." Casey told her friend. "This is it! We're going back to the store, and you can't buy any Coral Crunch. Got it?"
"I can do it, Casey!" Dimmy pumped his fist in the air. "I can do it!"
"He has a good shot!" Daffney commented. "He actually remembered to dress himself today!"
The trio walked into the Bubble K. They walked up to the Coral Crunch display…
…to see the table gone, and the cutout being taken away by a worker. "Uh, sir?" Casey asked. "What are you doing?"
"Haven't you heard? Coral Crunch has been discontinued! We just had to recall every last bar!"
"But it's only been selling for two days!" Casey exclaimed. "Why is it being recalled so quickly?"
"Health risks! The bars made eaters dangerously hyper, and gave them insatiable cravings! We've had complaints all throughout Snork Land!"
"Hey!" Dimmy smiled. "I can't buy any Coral Crunch! I passed the test!"
"So it wasn't really Dimmy's fault." Daffney remarked.
"I guess we're all finished with that!" Casey said.
"Where is it? Where is it?" The three heard somebody say urgently. Junior swam into the store at lightning speed. "What's going on? Where's the Coral Crunch? I need Coral Crunch!" He got on his knees and begged the worker. "I want more Croral Cunch! I mean Coral Crunch! Please please please give me more!"
"There is no more!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I said now! I mean now! Get it now! Do you know who I am?"
"Well, most of us are finished with that!" Dimmy laughed.
THE END
LEGAL STUFF: Freddy Monnickendam created the Snorks. Hanna-Barbera owns the rights to them. All characters copyright Hanna-Barbera and SEPP, 1984-1989. I thank them all; if they didn't exist, neither would my fanfics!
