Title: Bizarre Story

Characters: Everyone (at least by the end)

Pairings: Azusa/Yui and Mio/Ritsu

Yui's hand reached across the table until it found Azusa's. "Azusa, you're the caramel to my ice cream sundae, the strawberry to my cake. Thank you for letting me go out with you."

"Oh, Yui-senpai. I should be the one thanking you."

"Maybe you can."

The two girls leaned closer and closer together until their heads touched. Their hair, brown and black, blended together until you couldn't tell the two apart.

"…and that's why I was looking at you like that, Yui-senpai! That was my dream, and I felt so awful about it today that I couldn't look you in the eye! I'm so sorry!"

In front of Azusa, the four other members of Afterschool Tea Time gaped at her. Azusa's legs wobbled violently and she suddenly lurched toward Yui. There was a horrible ripping noise and Azusa's top tore in half, revealing what was underneath.

"I'm so sorry, Yui-senpai!" screeched Azusa, who was now pressed up against Yui.

"It's okay, Azunyan." And then Yui started taking her shirt off, too…

Yui woke with a huge grin creeping across her face. She reached over for her cell phone and started writing a text to Azusa. She pressed the "send button", grinning, and…

Azusa's eyes flew open. She lay in bed for a long time, shaking in terror, checking her phone every other minute. Yui-senpai would never do that, would she? And Azusa would never, ever do anything she'd done in that dream!

Meanwhile, Ritsu was walking up the stairs to the club room. She wanted to get in some drum practice. After all, she was the club president, and had to be better than everyone…no, wait, she had to set a good example for them!

The club room was empty, since it was a weekend and everyone was at home. Ritsu pulled her drumsticks out of her bag and sat down at her drum kit. She began warming up, but as she did, she could've sworn she heard someone. When she hit the crash cymbal, she definitely heard an "OWWWW!"

"Wh-what's going on here?" Ritsu cried.

"Ritsu, help me!" It was Mio's voice, but Mio was nowhere in sight. "I've been turned into your drum kit!"

"What?" scoffed Ritsu. "You're joking. I bet you're hiding somewhere and you're playing a joke on me."

"I'm NOT. Please help me!" Mio sounded desperate, and scared. Ritsu decided to believe her.

"So, if I play you, it hurts?" Ritsu asked quizzically. She hit the snare drum experimentally and heard Mio shout in protest.

"That was my head!"

"Really? So then, where's your…?"

"Right there," Mio groaned as Ritsu used the kick petal to play a note on the kick drum.

"You know, this could be interesting," mused Ritsu. "I have a best friend who's also a drum kit. Wouldn't that be cool to tell people?"

Mio shouted, "This is serious!"

"Fine, fine. I want my regular drum kit back anyway. We've just got to figure out a way to get you back to your regular body, then." Ritsu screwed up her whole face in concentration. "Nope, I can't think of anything."

"Did you even try?" Mio groaned.

Suddenly everything went dark. Ritsu felt a strange sensation spreading throughout her body. Looking around, she found that she was lying on her back in a dark place. She tried moving her arms and legs but couldn't. From far away, she heard Mio saying, "I'm back to normal!"

There was a loud noise above Ritsu's head, like a giant zipper. The blackness went away and Ritsu saw a huge Mio looming about her.

"And now to practice, ElizaBass," Mio said contentedly.

"It's not ElizaBass!" Ritsu shouted as loudly as she could, finally understanding what was going on. "It's me, Ritsu! You got switched back to normal but I got turned into your bass!"

"Ehh?" Mio cried. "Oh no, Ritsu! What do we do?"

"Well, first we find out what's going on here," grumbled Ritsu. "I'm not going to be a string instrument for the rest of my life."

"How do you think I felt, being a drum kit and getting beaten up by you?"

"I did NOT beat you up!"

Just then, Ritsu heard the door of the music room burst open. "Oh, thank goodness, Sawa-chan!" Mio cried. "Come quick. Ritsu's been turned into my bass!"

"Oh, I know." Sawa-chan's voice dropped to sound low-pitched and creepy.

"You…what?" said Ritsu. She was suddenly leaning against the back of a chair and could see everything that was going on. Sawa-chan towered over Mio, who had turned very pale. Sawa-chan turned toward Ritsu, a grin spreading over her face.

"I've placed this curse on you because you refuse to dress up for me!" Sawa-chan cried, her face becoming dark and frightening. Mio screamed as lightning flashed around the teacher. Ritsu desperately longed to beat some sense into Sawa-chan, but she was stuck as a bass. So there was only one thing left for her to do.

"Please, Sawa-chan," begged Ritsu. "Change me back. I swear I'll cosplay all you want if you just change me back into myself. I'm the club president, after all. A club can't be lead by a bass!"

"Well, actually," Yui said sweetly, popping suddenly into the music room, "We are the Light Music Club, so it would be cool to have a bass as the president."

"THAT'S NOT HELPING!" Ritsu shouted, and Yui vanished. Sawa-chan cackled and the suddenly produced a huge rack of frilly, colorful outfits.

"You will dress up for me…forever!" the teacher cried. There was a crack of thunder and Mio, huddled into a ball in the corner of the room, whimpered. More thunder crashed and the rack of clothes advanced toward Ritsu. The clothes began moaning and chanting in creepy, ethereal voices, and Mio screamed and screamed as Sawa-chan shrieked with laughter.

Ritsu sat upright in bed. Looking around, she saw that she was in her room, and she was quite obviously not a bass. When she saw the frilly outfits her mom had bought for her yesterday in an attempt to make her more girly, Ritsu stuck out her tounge. "What are you looking at?" she asked them, throwing her pillow at them.

But Mio's day was going completely differently. She was currently at the mall, gaping at the lefty instruments at the music store. Suddenly, she felt someone tap her shoulder. Before she could even turn around, she heard movement behind her and a loud exclamation. When she finally looked, she saw that her bodyguards were there, holding a frightened-looking blond girl in a headlock.

"Ritsu, Satoshi, that's enough," Mio said calmly. The two siblings released the blond girl. "I'm so sorry," Mio said to her. "Did you need anything?"

The girl looked like she was about to burst into tears. "I-I just wanted to give you the homework you missed on Friday-I'm in your class, you know-but I guess not!" She ran off, half-sobbing.

"You guys," Mio said to her bodyguards. "You really shouldn't freak people out like that."

"We're sorry!" both of the Tainaka siblings exclaimed. "We were just doing our job."

"Mio-sama, you can punish me however you want!" Ritsu wailed.

"That's really not necessary," Mio said, blushing. She'd noticed Ritsu watching her a lot-even if she was her bodyguard. "We should probably get home."

"Yes, ma'am!"

The next day, Mio decided to sneak out of the house without her bodyguards. They really were getting on her nerves. Especially Ritsu, since it seemed like the golden-eyed girl was obsessed with her, and even more than usual.

As Mio turned a corner into an alley, she suddenly noticed two men in dark clothing following her. Rounding another corner, she ran headlong into another two men. They reached out for her and Mio screamed loudly. "Somebody! Save me!"

"I'll save you!" exclaimed a male voice. Satoshi came flying out of nowhere and straight into the two men who had grabbed Mio. He managed to make them let go of Mio, but he was knocked out cold in the process. He lay sprawled out on the pavement, his golden eyes closed.

"I guess that's what happens when you let your prepubescent little brother become a bodyguard with you," said a sad voice at Mio's side. Ritsu was standing next to her, head bowed. The other men that had been tailing Mio started towards them. Quickly, Ritsu pulled what looked like a grappling hook attached to rope out of her pocket and flung it toward the roof of a nearby building. She held on tight to the other end of the rope and wrapped an arm around Mio's waist. "I've got you," Ritsu said in Mio's ear. Pulling on the rope, both girls were lifted into the air and away from the thugs in the alley. Mio screamed loudly, but Ritsu pulled her close, so that Mio wasn't in danger of falling.

Eventually, both of them landed on the roof of the building, which was deserted. The wind blew through Mio's hair, and she stood facing Ritsu, whose hands were on Mio's shoulders.

"Mio, I want to tell you something."

"What is it, Ritsu?"

Ritsu's golden eyes were bright and full of what looked like tears. "Mio, I've wanted to tell you this for so long. It's my job to look after you, but lately I've wanted to do more than just look after you. I love you, Mio, so much that it hurts just to look at you. This sensation in my heart won't stop unless you're right by my side, or in my arms. I want to always look after you and protect you until the day I die, because you are my soul mate, my intended one. I will never stop loving you, beautiful Mio."

"CUT!" shouted Mugi. "Ritsu, you're supposed to say the lines with feeling!"

"I quit!" screamed Ritsu. Her cheeks were flaming red, though she was sure to deny it later. "This TV show is stupid!" She stormed away, still in her costume. Mio just stood there, blushing furiously as Mugi went into a huddle with her producers. Ritsu had definitely said those lines with feeling…maybe too much feeling? Was Ritsu really in love with her? Mio's heart made a jolt in her chest. She certainly wouldn't mind it if that was true…

Mio's eyes opened and she found herself lying safely in her own bed. No bodyguards, and no TV shows about bodyguards. She exhaled, feeling more calmed down. But what she didn't know was that, somewhere else, the fake director of that made-up TV show was having a much tougher time than she was…

To be continued…