If You Ever Come Back
Ichigo would not give up hope. He hadn't slept in days, every time he closed his eyes he was haunted with images of Grimmjow getting on a train and never looking back. Every night was the same thing he would cook dinner and unconsciously set the table for two before realizing and choking back the tears.
'I'm ok,' he'd reiterate every day to anyone who asked, in truth he was anything but. He wished Grimmjow was back at home with him, he wished the blue haired man was still giving him a hard time like normal. But every night a little bit of hope blared within him. He still left the hallway light on; he still left the extra key under the mat outside the door. He kept imaging Grimmjow walking through the door with his goofy smile on, hugging him tightly. He would smile and kiss him before putting the kettle on and talking before heading off to bed. And it would be like Grimmjow hadn't gone anywhere.
'Ichigo you're wasting your time, he's never coming back,' Shinji would tell him when he called.
'You're wrong,' Ichigo would sigh, 'he'll come back eventually.' Ichigo felt as if Grimmjow had taken his heart with him, leaving nothing but an empty shell. He would never let anyone see that though, he wouldn't cause trouble for his friends. He would continue to wait till his love came home and it would he just like he was never gone.
It had been five years since Grimmjow had left, and every day he thought about seeing Ichigo again. Every day he wondered if Ichigo still remembered him, if he was still the same man he left behind. Grimmjow had left so suddenly, there were no warning signs, no indications that anything was out of the ordinary. Ichigo had come home from work and found him packing. Grimmjow had had to leave, he had to figure things out for himself before he could fully commit to Ichigo and it had taken him awhile to realize that the orange-haired man was serious about their relationship and Grimmjow wasn't ready for that. He wondered if Ichigo still thought of him or if he had completely erased the blue haired man from his memories. The reason Grimmjow had left was still unclear, even to him, but he had kept his distance from Ichigo, giving him his freedom.
Finally he was ready to go back, ready to return home, to Ichigo. He had heard that Ichigo had moved on, that he had found someone else, that he was happy but Grimmjow had to go and see him even if it was just once. He couldn't fight the overwhelming feeling that he had to just at least go and see Ichigo, just to see for himself.
As Grimmjow turned the corner into the corridor of his old apartment, Ichigo's apartment, he heard laughter and the door opening to reveal the orange haired man. Grimmjow felt his heart jump as he watched his former lover. Ichigo looked happy, he was laughing as he walked out of the apartment. Only then did Grimmjow notice who Ichigo was smiling at. The albino man followed Ichigo out of the apartment, laughing at something Ichigo said to him. The albino draped his arm around Ichigo's neck and ruffled his hair before they made their way down the corridor towards Grimmjow. A thousand different assumptions ran through Grimmjow's head as he watched them. Grimmjow realised how bitter sweet this felt, how he was happy to see Ichigo again but how it hurt to see him with someone else. As they got closer to him Ichigo looked away from the albino man and up at Grimmjow. Their eyes meeting for the first time in five years and the blue-haired man gave his signature smirk. Ichigo stopped dead in his tracks, his smile fading, concerning the albino man.
"Ichi, you ok?" The albino man asked, following Ichigo's gaze to Grimmjow.
"Grimmjow." Ichigo said albino man caught Grimmjows gaze, squeezed Ichigo's shoulder and walked back into the apartment leaving them alone.
"Hey Kitten," Grimmjow said coolly trying his hardest to act calm. Ichigo shook his head
"I don't believe this. What are you doing here? Do you know how long it's been?"
"I know Ichi but I told you I was coming back didn't I? I told you I would never leave you," Grimmjow stated, taking a step towards the orange haired man. Ichigo immediately backed up, not letting Grimmjow get any closer than he had to be. The gears in Ichigo's head were working overtime, trying to make sense of the situation.
"No, no. Why? What are you...? Where have you been? I...I can't, I cant deal with this right now," Ichigo stuttered. Grimmjow took two quick steps forward, enveloping Ichigo in his arms. Ichigo stiffened, going silent.
"I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. I'm sorry I never called, I never meant for this to hurt you," Grimmjow sighed," I wish you had waited for me, I wish you hadn't moved on."
I
chigo looked up at Grimmjow," What? Oh, you mean Shiro. He's my older brother. He's been living with me since..." Ichigo went silent in Grimmjows arms again.
"I'm sorry," Grimmjow said softly. Ichigo took a step back out of the older man's arms.
"Grimm, I waited and waited. Not one call or message. Nothing, I thought you had left me for good," Ichigo said his voice growing louder; he felt the tears leaving his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. Grimmjow looked away, guilt racking his body.
"I know, Im sor-"
"Shut up Grimmjow. Enough, enough. For five years I waited, five years!"
Ichigo wouldn't let Grimmjow back in, when he just learned to live without him. When he had finally gotten used to waking up alone, finally got used to the nightmares, the constant longing and hoping that every time the doorbell rang that it was Grimmjow. Now that the man was actually here Ichigo couldn't handle it, he wouldn't let the man get close enough to hurt him again. It was too much, he couldn't let him back in but deep inside Ichigo wanted to run into Grimmjows arms, kiss him and never let him go just like in his dreams but that couldn't happen, he would wake up and reality would smash his hope into tiny little pieces like it did every morning.
"Kitten," Grimmjow said softly, Ichigo shook his head refusing to give in, refusing to be taken away by that voice, "Kitten look at me, please." Ichigo reluctantly looked up.
" Ichi, I love you."
Ichigo's heart broke all over again, the clenching feeling in his chest that he thought he had finally gotten rid of, returned tenfold. Grimmjow had never said that to him before, even before he left.
"I love you and I'm sorry it took so long for me to figure that out and I'm sorry I made you go through all this. I never want to lose you again, I'm back for good."
Ichigo looked up helplessly, he didn't want to, couldn't, go through that pain again. He feared he would not survive it the second time around. The first time he had gotten by on pretending it had never happened, that Grimmjow had never walked into his life to start with and that made the pain bearable, he could live with that pain. Hiding away was better than facing it and losing yourself in the process. Sometimes it lasts, being in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
"Grimm, don't do this to me; don't put me through this again. I can't do this all over again," Ichigo said as a tear slid down his cheek.
"Kitten, don't cry," Grimmjow said pulling Ichigo into his arms, "I'm not going anywhere again; it was hard enough going this long without my daily strawberry."
Ichigo chuckled, burying his face in Grimmjows chest, "Of course it was, ya pervert."
Grimmjow ruffled Ichigo's hair, kissing his forehead, "I love you, I know that now and I'm not going anywhere. You're not getting rid of me anytime soon."
Grimmjow smiled, he had been waiting for this day. The day when he could go back to his berry for real, and fully commit. Even though he wasn't that type of guy he would change, all for Ichigo. It was always for Ichigo, no matter what.
A/N
This fic is based of two songs 'If you ever come back' by the script and 'someone like you' by adele.
Hope you enjoyed
Disclaimer: NO ONE belongs to me, no matter how hard i wish they did.
