Hey, so this just came to me as I was trying to fall asleep and I couldn't let it go so yeah, here it is.


I stood there, frozen, as Caleb spoke. I couldn't hear him. My Tris, my poor, poor Tris. My love. My one and only. How was I going to live without her? I was interrupted from my thoughts when Caleb waved his hand in front of my face.

"I still don't really like you, but...my sister did. She gave this to me to give to you before she..." He trailed, his quiet voice fading completely.

He reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a slip of paper neatly folded up, and handed it to me. Gingerly, I slipped my fingers around it and took it from him. My name was written on the front in her curly, beautiful handwriting. I nodded at him and slowly walked back to my room, I just had to be alone.

Almost an hour later I was still staring at the paper. This was the last thing I would ever get from her, and I was nervous. What if it was bad? What if it was good? What if it made the pain so unbearable that I...?

Oh man up Tobias, do you really want to disregard the last thing the love of your life will ever give you?

Sighing, I grabbed the paper and cautiously opened it up.

Tobias,

If you're reading this, well, I don't need to remind you. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, I never wanted to leave you. But I couldn't let Caleb go through that. Like you said, I'm bravest when I'm being selfless. And there was a chance that I...well, there was a chance you wouldn't be reading this. Know that wherever I am, I miss you. I miss your smile, your touch, your laugh, everything about you. I don't know what pushed me to write this, I guess I just didn't want you to think I just left you. I love you. I love you so god damn much it hurts, even now. Please know that being with you made me feel alive. In Dauntless, I knew I belonged there, but I knew that I belonged with you more. No matter what, as long as I was with you, I was OK. I'm sorry about these past months, all the fights, the lies. It was torture for me. I'm glad we had one last good time though, I'm glad we finally went on a date. Oh that night, it was one of the best nights of my life. I remember your sheepish smile, and yet you were so confident. Thank you for that. Please, please Tobias, live. Try to enjoy life. Please don't shut down because of me. I'm not asking you to forget me, but one day, try to be happy, that's all I ask. I have to go now, its time. I wish we could see each other one last time, but you're already off. I guess this good-bye, so...good-bye. I love you.

I'm sorry,

Tris

My heart broke. This wasn't her fault, this was David's. He shot her. He kiled her. At least I got to feel like she was talking to me again, that she was still alive, for a fleeting moment. Gently folding the letter back up, i set it on my nightstand and buried my face in my hands. I cried. I cried for Tris, I cried for everything. I couldn't hold it back any longer so I just let it loose.

Wiping my eyes, I finally sat up, looked to the sky, and said,

"Tris, wherever you are, if you can hear me, I love you. I miss you too. I wish you were here, with me, by my side. But you can't be, and you never will again. But I promise to try, to try to live again. I'll do anything for you. Good-bye."

And with that said I tucked the letter in my jacket pocket, just above my heart, so she'd always be with me, no matter what.


Oh my god that was the hardest thing I have ever written. I hope you guys liked it, I really tried to capture how Tris felt before...before...well you know. Thank you for all you have done for me, reviews are appreciated.

Luv,

CG16