A/N: By all rights this should be in my series "Not Domestic", but as you can see it got REALLY loooooong, which I did not intend when I set out to write it. I was going to post this as three chapters long, but I could not bring myself to chop it up in the end, as I wanted it to flow very nicely. Obviously it occurs shortly after my "Tyler-Smith" from ND, but it can also stand alone. I believe that 10.5's heart/aging/regeneration was the only human pat of him, so he's still quite a Time Lord, especially his mind. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and I apologize that it took so long. Since my last post I have moved to college (freshman year) and started classes, so I can' believe I even had time to write this!
"Allons-y!" The Doctor yelled, pulling down the accelerator and launching them into the vortex. He smiled widely and leaned over to the beautiful woman beside him who was now his wife. He still could not quite believe that it was actually true.
Rose smiled back up at him and in a moment they were sharing a kiss, lost in the euphoric knowledge that they were truly together at last. The Doctor still donned his fancy black suit and Rose was still wrapped in her beautiful white wedding dress. Only moments ago, or perhaps it was hours, they had been wed. The reception seemed all at once a blur and a time that they both knew they would never forget. The TARDIS now carried them away to a honeymoon like no other through the mysteries of time and space.
"Where are we off too?" Rose asked with a laugh. The Doctor had allowed her to plan their entire wedding without his getting in the way on the sole condition he got to plan their honeymoon, and he had chosen to keep their final destination a secret until now.
He looked up with that brilliant smile of his; that same smile that she had seen so many times, the one that would always and forever make her smile back. His eyes lit up in excitement as he finally revealed his special plans. "Barcelona!" He cheered, just as he had done so many years ago.
Rose's breath caught at the simple word. For a moment the Doctor feared that he had upset her, perhaps by bringing back old and painful memories of his regeneration. But a moment later he was reassured as her lips again graced his, and she wrapped him in another loving embrace.
"You like it?" He asked hesitantly as she pulled away.
"It's perfect." She assured him with a smile. That same beautiful smile that would always make the Doctor's heart melt. He hugged her close for a moment, and then remembered that he was supposed to be flying them there.
"Oh!" He called in surprise, darting back to the controls and quickly pumping one of the many levers on the console. "Rose, check the dimensional stabilizer." He said, pulling his glasses out of his chest pocket and reading the Gallifrayan read out on his screen.
"Aye-Aye, Captain!" She joked, crossing over to the console. The Doctor had been educating her further how to fly the TARDIS, and she knew several of the basic controls.
"That's 'Doctor' to you, Rose Tyler." The Doctor told her with a joking grin as he came past, still flipping switches, buttons, and dials.
Rose smiled slyly, grabbing his arm as he past and drawing him back. "Rose Smith." She corrected him. The Doctor's smile grew, pure wonder shining in his eyes as the truth began to sink in at last that he really was her husband and she really was his wife.
Before he could embrace her again he was interrupted by the TARDIS's alarm, and they both went back to the controls.
"Man the vortex loop, Rose Smith, we're almost there!" The Doctor cheered. Rose laughed, and soon they were both laughing, reveling in the wonder of each other and of their lives and their life together.
Rose came back to his side as he pulled the accelerator back down and pushed a few last buttons. "There. Perfect landing." He said with a happy nod. As the words left his mouth, the TARDIS made one final sudden jolt that sent both of them to the ground. The Doctor landed on his back, and Rose landed on top of him.
"Perfect landing." Rose repeated with a sarcastic grin as he caught her in his arms.
"I think she does it on purpose." The Doctor laughed at his ship as he pulled them both to their feet. "Here we go, the planet Barcelona" He said, dusting both of them off, "They've got dogs with no noses!" He smiled again as he bounded towards the door. He stopped when he realized that she was not following. "Coming?" He turned back with an eyebrow raised in curiosity.
"One sec…" Rose was still smiling broadly, her eyes filled with wonder. "I just have to... take in this moment." She smiled, breathing in deeply as if she could imprint the smell, sound, touch, sight, and every feeling of this perfect moment into her memory forever. The Doctor and Rose, together in the TARDIS. Forever. As it should be. She closed her eyes and took a moment to simply revel in the joy that filled her heart. When she opened her eyes again he was standing close before her, taking her hands in his own.
The Doctor looked adoringly down into her eyes, a warm smile spread across his face that he could not have hidden if he had wanted to. She was so beautiful. He loved everything about her. For a while they simply stood together in comfortable silence; taking in the moment, taking in each other, absorbing the reality that they were together at last.
"Come on," The Doctor said after a short pause, sliding his fingers to where they entwined perfectly with Rose's own. He led her forward and soon they stood at the TARDIS door. "Ready?" He asked with a grin.
"Ready." She said with a confident smile. Together the pulled open the TARDIS doors, and soon the whole room was awash in brilliant light. Rose's breath caught at the wonderful sight as she gazed across the perfect beach before them. The white-gold sand and clear water shone, and the sky was just beginning to turn from a deep, rich blue into its dazzling fiery shades. Tall alien trees that looked something like over-grown, thin pineapples dotted the sand casting natural shade around a small path that lead up to what looked like a privet residence or condo sitting atop a small rise beyond the sand. Apparently even the planet Barcelona had accommodations for vacationers among the stars. Beyond the structure there stood a tall, unique, and busy skyline, but the beach itself was quiet and peaceful; nothing but the winds and waves to accompany them.
"It's perfect." Rose said again as she took it all in.
"Well, for the next several days it's all ours." The Doctor smiled widely once more as he took her hand and led her out the door. She removed her shoes and followed him barefoot onto the warm sand, and he quickly took of his converse and joined her. Together they strolled down the beautiful beach hand in hand.
The Doctor pondered his life with a smile. It really was perfect, this. He hoped that this wonderful time on this lovely beach might make up for all of the pain they had felt not so long ago on a very different beach at Bad Wolf Bay. As he looked once more into Rose's face and saw that beautiful smile that lit up her eyes and lifted up his heart, he knew that it had all been made right.
For a while they simply walked together; talking and laughing and discovering the beauty of Barcelona, all the while basking more in each other's presence than in the marvelous sunset before them.
"Come on," The Doctor said at last, diverging from their path along the water's edge. He had already made special preparations for the evening, and led them into the shade of the tall trees to a cozy little area where two chairs had been set up and a small ring of stones and wood stood ready for their own personal bonfire. Rose clung fondly to his arm as they made their way over. The sun was now hovering just over the brilliant mirror of the sea, and darkness was beginning to creep over the other side of the sky. The Doctor took his sonic screwdriver from his chest pocket and quickly sparked their small fire into life as Rose took a seat in one of the reclining beach chairs beside him.
"You thought of everything, didn't you." She said with a loving smile as he sat down; opting to share her seat rather than take the other. He wrapped his arms around her and she curled into him, and together they sat and talked and laughed and simply delighted in each other's company for a while longer in the firelight until the sun was barely peaking over the far-off horizon and both were almost ready to go to bed.
"Rose?" The Doctor turned to her once more.
"Hmm?" She replied from where she rested against him, gazing into the dancing flames of the slowly dying fire.
"Before we head in there's one more thing I wanted to do…" The Doctor began to sit up. Rose moved away to let him, her brow knotted in slight confusion. "There's something I wanted to show you." He pulled the other chair over as Rose sat up in hers, paying close attention. The Doctor sat on the edge of his chair and she moved to sit on the edge of hers. "Actually it's something I've been wanting to show you for quite some time." The Doctor said quietly as he took her hands in his own.
"What is it?" Rose asked readily. He simply smiled in reply. He raised his hands to gently frame her face. She did not resist him, and found herself closing her eyes. With a short gasp she realized what he was doing; she could feel him as if he was touching her mind: his Time Lord abilities continuing to shine through. "Doctor?" She asked hesitantly, her hands coming up to find safe purchase in his sleeves. She did not pull him away but only held tightly onto him, finding a safe anchor in the oncoming storm. It was an unnatural but not unwelcome feeling. She could feel herself making a conscious choice to let him in.
The Doctor smiled. "Open your mind." He whispered, and Rose could not at first tell if she had heard it with her ears or only in her head. She smiled as she released herself into his mental presence and soon found herself caught up in him as she was brought for the first time into an intimate telepathic connection with her husband's Time-Lord mind.
Her breath caught as her overwhelmed mind fought to make sense of this new awareness. The most beautiful form of chaos and shock seemed to wash over her as she settled into this perfect contact with The Doctor's mind as he worked to establish a mental bond. As he did so he created a sort of imagined place and brought Rose into it with him.
Bright white light filled her mind, waves of power and emotion that no words could describe flowing freely into her from him. She opened her eyes – or perhaps she did not – and found herself in what might have been a room. It was not quite a dream, but not quite reality, she knew. She could feel the Doctor's presence all around her, and turned to find him standing by her side. He smiled and took her hand.
"Hello." He said simply, and even the simple word seemed infinitely more meaningful. It was not a simple greeting; she felt as if he was welcoming her into his very soul. And he was. "You alright?" He asked. He had never tried anything like this before, and he did not want to hurt or overwhelm her.
Tears had formed in the corner of Rose's eyes and her mouth hung open in awe, but they were tears of pure ecstasy. She did her best to nod, and realized that she no longer needed to communicate with words, for no words could describe what she felt. She looked to him in wonder as he turned to show her where they were.
"I wanted to show you this." He told her calmly. "This is… Me: My thoughts and memories. The ones I could never say in words." He gestured to the room which apparently was filled with doors and halls, as if a great museum or library of his mind. "Feel free to look around and go wherever you want. If you come to a door that is closed you may open it. I won't keep anything from you." He said, and his voice seemed to echo through every corner of her mind and his own. It was a strange but utterly beautiful sound.
The abstract room- if it was a room – around them was a place that one could never quite fully be aware of. It changed, but was the same; it flowed in a balance of chaos and order in a way that only a mind could. But somehow, the mystery did not bother Rose. In a way it felt familiar, perhaps because she already knew the Doctor so well, and perhaps because of her own experience as the Bad Wolf. It was literally mind blowing. But this supernatural communion that should have broken her simple, human mind was held in perfect balance in the Doctor's capable hands.
"Doctor…" Rose was practically speechless. "Thank you." She whispered at last. She turned to him and pulled him into a close hug, pressing her face into his shoulder.
The Doctor hugged her tight and then pulled back and smiled as he brushed away her tears. "You haven't even seen it yet." He laughed lightly.
Rose nodded, still unable to form words. She looked back behind her shoulder and stared for a moment, amazed by the strange world before her which was neither real nor fake. "Do you think you could show me around?" She turned back to him. He smiled widely and held out an arm which she gladly took in her own.
"Where should we start?" He asked.
"At the beginning." She answered excitedly. She wanted to know him from beginning to end – everything about him and more.
The Doctor smiled. "Quite right." He said. He wanted to show her just as much as she wanted to see – everything. Because she deserved so much more than everything from him. He led them forward through something like an open doorway.
What happened next was like a dream – Rose and the Doctor and the room seemed to fade, but at the same time they did not. A vision rose in their shared mind's eye. Rose found herself completely immersed in the Doctor's memories, emotions, and entire being. She saw him from his own eyes. She saw him so long ago – a child of Gallifrey. She saw his home world and all that went with it: The beauty and the glory and the injustice and the fear. His past flew by; his emotion filling her, his thoughts and feelings surging through her mind. He was eight years old when he began running away and he never stopped. He was so alone. Tears formed in her eyes as this emotion filled her mind above all else; he was so very alone. She watched him meet the TARDIS for the first time and felt the spark of hope that lit in his two hundred year old hearts.
Faces, places, times, and people flooded Rose's mind – she watched her Doctor in ways that she had never seen him before. He was a grandfather; an old, wise man. Then he was a younger, more playful man who lived life as he would and let none say otherwise. He was a yet another man; a gentleman unafraid of the world. And another; wrapped in playful joy just as he was wrapped in the longest scarf she had ever seen. She watched as he grew younger witch each face, changing again and again before her eyes, yet always and forever the same man underneath. He filled his life with friends and adventure; striving for purpose and for love. He changed again, younger still, and tried his best to see past the pain. He was a hero, and yet he could not save everyone. He grew proud and he grew humble, his life continued to fly by – a flash of color and question marks. She could not even keep track anymore, for neither could the Doctor. But the running never stopped, because neither did the adventure, and neither did the fun, and neither did the fear, and neither did the pain.
He was forever running away; away from his own people, away from his past, away from himself. Yet somehow he found himself anew each time. He was funny and he was sad; he was a fighter and a pacifist. He was a rebel and a run-away. He laughed at danger and dared to dream impossible dreams; yet he held the deepest sorrow she had ever known. He was so strong, and yet so broken. The Doctor continued to pour his entire being into Rose, giving her his utmost and opening every door, reveling all of his triumph and all of his defeats; laying completely bare all of his sins, regrets, fears, hopes, and dreams before her.
Each moment led to the next, doorways and hallways and passages. Some of them were closed, but the Doctor unlocked them and the vision continued. His last few faces sped by as he poured his life into her head. And then it happened. She knew what it was the moment they came to it. She could feel it rip his soul in two. Innocence turned to monstrosity, beauty turned to bloodshed, glory turned to hatred; the betrayal of all that was good and right in the world.
"D-Doctor…" Rose spoke for the first time since the many visions began. She knew that this was a door that was not only closed but sealed away, and she knew why. "You don't have to do this." She made out the words, tears staining her cheeks.
The Doctor was silent for a moment, and then his voice returned "I know." He said. His waivered, betraying his own tears, but it was steadfast nonetheless. "But I need you to see it. Only then can you understand what comes next."
With great effort and with pain that threatened to break his heart but with no regret whatsoever the Doctor unlocked and re-lived the most inmost hidden part of his memories; the times he was desperate to forget, and the times that he knew he never could. The Time War: The Last Great Time War. Anger and fear and sorrow flooded into both of their minds at the violent onslaught. Rose could barely breathe as hell itself seemed to rain down upon them. The Doctor shielded her from the worst of it – she did not need to see everything he had seen. No one should ever have to see such things. She saw Gallifray burnt to the ground. She saw the great citadel crashed and in flames. And she saw the Doctor standing above it all, alone.
Rose felt the shame, the pain, and the guilt that flowed through him and felt her own heart break. She knew that his reasons were right. She did not blame him for any of it. She wanted someone – anyone – to save him. She wanted to hold him in her arms, to steal him away from this pain, to make it right. She wanted him to know that nothing, not even this, would ever change her love for him. She wanted him to hear her say 'I forgive you.'
"D-Doctor…" She managed to call miserably again; it was the only thing she could say.
"Shhh…" He comforted, and she could feel his arms around her. She did not know if he could read her mind and sense her forgiveness, but she willed him to with all her might. Within this telepathic connection that which cannot be expressed in words was made clear, and whether because he heard her or because he already knew the Doctor's voice was strong as her told her "We're almost there."
Rose truly did not know what could possibly make this better; what could possibly right this terrible wrong. But she knew something must, and she was desperate for it now. It had to get better. It had to. Her very soul screamed against the injustice of it all and prayed for some deliverance, just as his had so long ago.
The Doctor brought them through one more door, and Rose's heart seemed to stop at what she saw. The Doctor smiled. This is what he wanted her to see.
Lost in a purposeless, lonely existence the Doctor had somehow wound up back on earth; he had to save them again, as always. Fresh from his regeneration he barely knew what he looked like, for he did not care to look at himself anymore. For how could anyone look at him after such an act and see anything but a monster?
He did not think much of where the TARDIS landed that night, but as she would have it it was exactly the place he needed to be. He continued on him mission; the world was a war-ground, full of danger, and he alone stood defending it. Day in and day out as it had always been. He was alone; more alone than ever before. He told himself he did not mind. As he entered the store basement he could never have expected what was to come.
Indescribable emotion washed through Rose's being as all of this flashed through her mind. She could feel the Doctor's emotions swelling fondly in recollection. His savior had come, and Rose's breath caught as she realized just who is was.
He did not know what made him do it; it seemed like the only thing to do. It was a reaction, nothing more. He saw someone in need and he saved them. It was what he had been doing all along. But this time was different.
As he grabbed her hand something in his hearts leapt. 'Run!' He said and they ran: He pulled her out of danger and they ran. The light in her eyes sparked something deep within his hearts. She trusted him. However skeptical she might be, nevertheless she followed him, and it felt as if she might follow him to the ends of the earth and beyond.
He had meant to simply move her out of harm's way but when he was done he could not stop himself from going one step more. 'I'm the Doctor, by the way, what's your name?' The words still rang in his head just as they did in hers. The Doctor smiled as he remembered her reply.
'Rose.' She had answered simply. Rose. Rose Tyler. The name held more meaning to him than any name in the world. The Doctor had brought Rose into his mind in order that she might know him, but above all he wanted her to see herself.
In just as much of a blur as the rest of his life had flown past, the Doctor's time in his ninth regeneration sped before Rose's eyes. Her breath caught at each memory as she too recalled them. As she re-watched the man she had fallen in love with so long ago she could not help but fall in love with him even more. After all she had just seen there was one thing that stood out to Rose about the Doctor she had known. It had stood out enough when she was with him, but after witnessing all of his tragic past it was even more remarkable now: His smile. More and more she saw it, and she slowly realized why. For once in his long life as he held her hand and they ran on though adventure after adventure, though fear and through joy, the Doctor did not feel alone.
He did not know how she did it; after all she was not like him. She was not a Time Lord, she had not known his loss. In fact her persistent presence had all the potential to make him feel even lonelier than before, but it did not. It did just the opposite, and it had taken the Doctor a long time to figure out why. Rose, however knew in a moment. And if she could have shouted it to him sooner she might have. It was because she loved him. And that simple yet extremely complex notion made all the difference in the world.
Rose made him feel whole again. She looked at him and did not see a monster. More than that, she looked at him and saw something amazing: Something worthwhile. She saw something in him that he thought he had lost. She saw his love: His love for the universe, his love for adventure, his love for everything. Not only did Rose see it, she reignited it.
With Rose by his side the Doctor felt like he could carry on: He felt like he could be the hero again. She thought he was a hero, and maybe that was enough. She gave him hope and reminded him that there was still good in him and still good left in the world. He had puller her from her boring life and shown her the universe, and in return she had pulled him from hell and shown him everything that was good in the world.
The Doctor reveled in merely the thought of Rose. She was everything to him, and though it took him a while to admit it, he wanted nothing more than to be everything to her. When they had first met he had put up his mask of sarcasm and wit, but in his hearts he longed for someone to break it down, and she had done just that.
His memories continued to play in their connected minds, and Rose at last witnessed the Bad Wolf come to life. Her own memory had been wiped of the experience, but as she saw it now it took her breath away. She could feel his thoughts and emotions surge through her: His first thought was one of amazement. She had come back for him. Even after he sent her away, she still loved him and had found a way back. She had put herself in danger and even now was dying to save him. He could not allow it. There was practically no conflict in his mind as he saw what must be done. He did not hesitate to trade his life to save hers. As he came towards her and knowingly embraced his eminent death only one thought filled his mind: She was beautiful.
The Doctor glanced quickly over his regeneration. He knew she had seen it, and neither of them had to relive the painful memories there. Even now he was sorry for causing her that pain. But even as the thought entered into his head, he could feel Rose's own forgiveness enter his mind. Their bond was growing stronger as her mind grew accustomed to his own. Her thoughts and emotions were no longer her own, and she chose to share them just as he shared his.
What came next was a time of pure joy: The Doctor and Rose Tyler in the TARDIS travelling across all of time and space. He could not think of anything better than this. As his memories continued his love for her only grew. With every smile and glance and laugh; with every fear and adventure and every scrape and bump along the way she was with him; she loved him and cared for him and trusted him. He had a hand to hold. And that was all he needed.
In his eyes Rose was perfect; just as he was in hers. She inspired him, and so much more. She made him want to carry on; to keep on living and living well. She made him want to be a better man, and strive to be the best he could be, if for nothing else for her. He smiled as he wondered, for the millionth time, what he had ever done to deserve her. He was not sure he did, but he was indefinitely thankful nonetheless.
Though all of their travels there was only one thought that bothered the Doctor at all, and that was the thought of losing her. He did not think he could bare it to be alone again, or to be without his Rose. What would he do when she was gone? So many times in his life he had lost loved ones, but he had moved on. Some hurt more than others, and some took a very long time. But this was different. He was not sure he would be able to move on if her lost her; he would not want to. He hid his fear from her well, but on occasion it peeked through. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, and that she meant more to him than the entire world. But he was scared. He was not scared of her or her reaction; he knew full well that she loved him, and he knew that she knew he loved her. But he could not bring himself to admit it aloud. Because once he said it there was no turning back, and no moving on. And it terrified him, because he knew that eventually his darkest dreams would come true, and she would be gone.
All too fast and all too soon they did. The painful memory played over in his mind again, this time for Rose to see. Tears filled his own eyes as he watched her fall away. He screamed her name, but could do nothing to stop the terror before him. He had lost her. He had condemned her to a fate not her own, and he had lost her. He was alone.
Their last conversation played over again in his mind, and Rose at last got to hear what he had said all those year ago. As the projection faded and cut off a single tear found its way down the Doctor's face. "…I love you." He whispered, his voice fading into what could only be described as despair.
The Doctor went on to show Rose all the other things she had never seen: He showed her his first meeting of Donna Noble and his travels with Martha Jones. He showed her the Master's return and his adventures with Donna. He hid nothing from her. And through it all, Rose could see it woven though his life that he still loved her. He never stopped loving her. He tried to carry on, he did his best to live his life as she would have had him live it. And she was glad for that. But each time his hearts returned to think of her.
"That name keeps me fighting!" He had cried, and he had meant it. Impossible meant nothing to him, and if he believed in one thing he believed in her. So long ago she had given him hope, and he held tightly to that hope now. He did not know if he would ever see her again, but he would live in her name and think of her forever.
Rose had tried desperately to reach him; she had done everything within her power and more. And in the end, she had seen him again. The Doctor's emotions continued to wash into Rose's mind as he remembered that fateful day; a day of death and life and victory and defeat. She saw herself in his mind's eye as he ran towards her; running with absolute abandon, desperate to reach her and to hold her in his arms once more. She could practically feel the Dalek hit him, and her breath caught as she remembered her own thoughts from that day. She had fallen to her knees beside him and held him in her arms. Her beauty washed over him even as fiery pain began to consume his body; and once more as he began to regenerate he could think only of her.
And that was how he was born. The memories stopped here. Rose and the Doctor found themselves once more in the sort-of hall. Rose was still at a complete loss of words as the pure power of his love for her continued to flood her mind.
"I'm sorry." His words cut into the silence. Rose's brow knotted. Those were some of his most frequently uttered words, but they were the ones that she least expected to hear now.
"For what?" She asked gently, still holding onto his hand with both of her own.
"Because I don't have the rest." He said quietly, heavy shame evident in his voice Because now the truth was out, come back to slap him in the face with his own human nature. He was not that man – not all of him. He was not the Doctor she had returned to; not the one that held her when the Dalek took over the earth. He had come in at the end and brought down the fleet; an act of genocide the first act of his life. Ever since he had tried to tell himself and to tell her that he was in fact the Doctor. But now that he was confronted by it, he began to doubt even that. Perhaps he was only a monster after all; a ghost of the man that he had been. "I…" He could no longer speak. But he did not need to.
"Doctor." Rose called to him. The name pierced his single heart. She still called him Doctor. Even here where she could read his every thought, doubt, fear, and regret, where she saw straight into his soul and where she could reach out and touch it. He looked down to her and found himself lost once more in the depth of her eyes. She placed a gentle hand over his human heart and smiled. "I forgive you." She whispered. She forgave him for all of it; for the Dalek, for Bad Wolf Bay, for everything. Because no matter how sad that day had been it had been the beginning of her new life; her new wonderful life with him.
She knew what troubled him, and perhaps he was right to be troubled by it. If he was not troubled by such an act, the willing destruction of an entire race, than he was not the man she knew. But the Doctor – her Doctor – was a man of both success and failure, living through the greatest joy and the greatest sorrow. He was the world's savior and the Destroyer of Worlds. But she loved him. Even if he was not a Time Lord and was not the man aboard the Crucible that day, she forgave him for all of it. And she wanted him to know. She leaned up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him tight, and he returned her embrace with tears running down his face. It was a bit odd, as neither of them were actually standing there but stood only in their minds, but that did not stop them. The Doctor smiled through his tears as he held her. This was what he needed. Rose always knew what he needed the most; and it turns out, it was her.
As they pulled apart, Rose placed her hand once more over his single heart and looked up into his eyes.
"I know there is more." She told him. "Show me."
This time it was the Doctor's turn to be at a loss for words. He nodded and took her arm in his again, leading them through the last door.
Pure energy shot through Rose's mind like lightening as they passed through it. The world glowed in golden light and finally settled as the Doctor opened his eyes for the first time as a new half-human being. Rose watched as he and Donna worked to save the world from Davros, and then re-watched everything that followed through her Doctor's eyes. She held him tightly as he re-lived his act against the Dalek, and willed him once again to hear her thoughts and know how much she loved him and forgave him.
As they came to Bad Wolf Bay one last time, she watched herself choose him over his Time Lord counterpart – the man he wished to be. He smiled at the memory. Neither of them had been happy to be left on the beach that day, but in truth it was the best thing that could have happened. Because now he had her and she had him. Until death did them part. And perhaps that was long enough.
Together they watched the rest of their lives; Rose helped the Doctor move into a more 'domestic' life at the Tyler Manor, and together they had worked to grow the TARDIS, spending each moment falling back in love with each other. They had been wed and now here they were on their honeymoon. The vision stopped as it merged with the present, and Rose and the Doctor were in the hall once more.
For a moment neither of them could speak. Because neither of them had to.
"What do you think?" The Doctor finally broke the comfortable silence that followed. In truth he could already feel what she thought; that it was perfect. But instead she surprised him by saying something else.
"I think it's my turn." She said with a smile, raising her hands and placing them on the sides of his face. "Can you show me how?"
"Rose," The Doctor laughed "We're already dreaming. There's no need for that." He brushed her hands from their place on his temple. Both of them had lost sight of the fact that in reality they still sat on the beach. That world seemed so far away now.
"But I want to show you!" Rose protested. "It's not fair that I'm the only one that gets to see." That determined shine came into her eyes, and the Doctor knew there would be no dissuading her. But he would never dream of it. Having her presence here in his mind was the most wonderful feeling he had ever known; he could not imagine what it would feel like to enter into hers.
"Rose." He called gently, grasping her arms and she grasped his. "Close your eyes." Rose obeyed, and the Doctor followed suit. Back on the beach, the Doctor worked to transfer his telepathic power. Rose's mind was so entwined with his own that for a moment it was difficult to sense the difference, but he knew it the moment he found it. Warmth, beauty, compassion, and love washed into his mind, burning with all the energy of the Bad Wolf and all the gentleness of his Rose. He welcomed it; passing into the healing fire that was her mind, letting it consume him and flood his heart and soul.
Rose could feel the exchange of roles; she could sense him as if he was walking into her mind. She opened the door wide and allowed him free reign to do as he pleased. It was a wonderful feeling, one that made her want to laugh out loud and run with her hand in his, just like they always had.
"Doctor?" She asked with a smile, wondering if she could yet open her eyes. She could hear and feel the Doctor take in a shaky breath of pure awe as his mind was flooded with hers. It was his turn to be speechless. He was no stranger to telepathic communication; he was a master of the art, enough to allow everything that he had just shown her. But this was different. This was Rose, his wife. There was no restraint this time, he let her mind fill him, and had to remind himself of what he was doing; bringing them back to a manageable place like the hall and trying not to lose himself completely in her. It was a rather difficult task.
At last he opened his eyes, working to stabilize the world around them again. The hall around them looked just as it had a moment ago, but everything else about it seemed to have changed. Instead of the Doctor's presence filling the room it was Rose. He could feel her all around him, and as he looked down to her she opened her eyes and smiled up at him.
"Thank you, Doctor." She said, and could not stop herself from laughing out of pure joy. He may have been holding them together with his mental ability, but she was now the one fully aware of their every move. "This way!" She called, taking his hand happily and leading him down the hall.
Rose's mind was a far less organized place with far less experience both in life and in telepathic travels. But with the Doctor's help, the halls that she filled with her memories bent to her will. The Doctor found that Rose's mind, though so much younger than his, was just as full. For every space that he could see was filled with her love. He let it saturate him as he passed though, tears reaching his eyes once more as what he thought he knew the extent of became a thousand times more real.
Rose opened the first door and the Doctor was immediately caught up in her memories. He saw her as a child sitting on Jackie's knee hearing stories about the daddy she had never met. He saw her in school; day in and day out, carrying on. She was smart, but no one really recognized it, not even herself. She was kind, but she stood her own. She had met Mickey, and they lived their lives like any others, coping and coasting along. He watched her grow up before his eyes; a blur of pink and yellow. She had friends and a family but sometimes she felt just as alone as the Doctor.
Day after day, she lived her life: going to work, coming home, and going to work again. She told herself that there was nothing wrong with that; she was fine. Her life was nothing special, but then again neither was she. She pressed on without purpose and tried to tell herself that she was ok. But behind her eyes there was a desperate cry for change and little hope that her life would ever get better.
But then one night it did. She could still remember it just as freshly as he did: She stumbled into the basement and found herself trapped, with unimaginable plastic men closing in. She did not know what would happen; fear spiked in her heart and she could nothing but close her eyes and wait for the worst. And then she heard it. 'Run!' She felt him take her hand. She did not know who he was, but she could have sworn he was an angel. She took his hand and ran, not knowing where they were going, simply trusting him to find the way.
The Doctor could not help but laugh at his former self. He was sarcastic, blunt, and even a bit annoying. He could tell that she felt that way at first. But something about him made Rose curious. When he looked at her she felt as if he was looking more deeply into her than anyone ever had before. He carried an air of confidence, strength, and even danger. He lived for this sort of thing, she could see it. As he escorted her to safety she grew more and more confused by everything about him. He left as if nothing had happened, and she could only stare for a moment and wonder, knowing somehow that her life had just been changed, and silently hoping that the change might last forever.
And then he stopped. 'I'm the Doctor, by the way, what's your name?'
'Rose.' The word slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it. She did not even know this man. What sort of name was 'the Doctor'? But somehow, she trusted him. Everything about him felt…different. Alien, even. But somehow it felt right.
When she woke the next morning half of her thought that it had all been a dream. But there he was again on her doorstep. She would not let him get away without an explanation this time, but he was making it hard. He did his very best to fend her off, it seemed, but she would not allow it. When he left she sought him out. And when she was again in danger there he was again to take her to safety. Seeing it all again now, fresh after seeing it from the Doctor's point of view, neither of them could help but laugh at their combined determination to not admit that each other was what they had been secretly looking for their entire lives.
In the end there was only one choice to be made. He had asked her twice. The first time, Rose had denied it. Everything that she had ever known cried out that she stay home; that she stay comfortable and safe just like she had always been, living a life that was nothing special. But the moment the words escaped her lips she knew she would regret it forever.
'Ok.' He said, trying to sound content. 'See you around.' But she knew that he never would. She watched him step back and close the door. The Doctor could feel her heart clenching they watched the scene unfold; he could feel it fighting with every effort to deny its own lonesome brokenness.
She told herself that she was ok. She would go on living her life. But something in her head screamed that she did not want to anymore. How could anyone go on living a normal life after meeting him? But that was the path she had chosen. The Doctor squeezed Rose's hand tighter as they watched her turn away in dejection.
But then he had come back. The Doctor smiled as he felt the joy that rushed through her at the mere hope of a second chance. This time he did know what had made him stop. He needed her. He did not want to say it, but both of them knew it was true. He left the door open, and she came running in.
The memories that they both shared continued to play again before their mind's eye and Rose's feeling and emotions continued to wash over the Doctor as with every adventure, every smile, and every word he said she fell more in love with him. He was wonderful: He was strong and brave and smart and true; he was funny and kind and caring. He was marvelous and full of surprises. He was fantastic. He was everything to her. And she wanted nothing more in the world than to mean everything to him.
The Doctor was everything that her life had been lacking; including a purpose and a person for which to live. He made her feel worthwhile; like she was more than just another girl from London. He made her feel special; like she could do anything in the world. He made her feel like maybe, with him by her side, she could be fantastic too.
As they made their way through her memories they at last arrived at Satellite 5 for the final time where the Doctor sent her away. He could feel her grief, fear, and even anger as she listened to his Emergency Program One. But through it all he could feel her love. She was not mad at him for sending her away; she was upset because she knew he needed her help. He watched as she discovered the Bad Wolf signs and somehow knew what to do. He could not help but fear a little as she tried to open his TARDIS, something no one should ever do. For a moment he could feel the power of his own TARDIS rushing into his mind, flooding his senses and taking control. But the moment ended and faded to black. Rose had no memory of what happened next. She somehow felt him, felt him lovingly holding her in his arms. Some part of her wanted to remember his final kiss goodbye before regenerating, but most of her could not.
Rose, unlike the Doctor, did not simply skim over his regeneration. It had been a time of fear and uncertainty, and Rose had at first been truly devastated, thinking that she had lost the Doctor forever. But as he took her hand she could feel him in there, and she put her faith in him once more.
This new Doctor was still everything she could have ever hoped for and more. He was brilliant, playful, and unafraid. And he loved her. And together they travelled the stars, hand in hand, for what might have been forever. They witnessed countless dangers and numberless wonders, and all the while gloried that they were not seeing them alone. They had each other. And that was more than enough.
But then that dreadful day came. Rose had not known to fear it like the Doctor had. She had not known his loss; and he did not want her to. Something in her heart protested that they would be with each other always. Neither of them wanted to think that anything could tear them apart. Until one day something did.
Rose did not care to linger on that unbearable time. It was the most dreadful day of her life: Doomsday, as far as she was concerned. She went on to show the Doctor her life in Pete's World. She would no longer settle for the domestic or even the well-lived life. Not while he was out there risking his life amongst the stars all alone. She fought with everything in her to find a way back to him. She had done it once before as the Bad Wolf. Now she would do it again as Rose Tyler.
With the help of Mickey, the Preachers, Torchwood, and even the Daleks, if you could call it helping, they improved the dimension cannon and began hoping through world after world, searching for the right one. She never gave up hope that she would find him. And then, after months and months of searching, there he was. Both of them could feel the rush of pure rapture that filled her heart as she began running towards him. Her Doctor. The most wonderful man in the universe.
Her entire world seemed to be ripped away as she watched him be shot and fall to the ground. She fell to her knees beside him and cradled him in her arms. "Don't die!" She begged, sobbing. Rose held the Doctor close as they re-watched the entire ordeal, as her own desperate fear flowed into both of their minds. And then he was regenerating. Soon the Doctor had no idea what was going on, as Rose's memory passed onto a time that the Doctor was there for, but he himself was not.
Rose showed him all that happened aboard the Crucible that fateful day. She did her best to shield him from Davros' piercing words, but she did not hide them for him. Instead she let him hear, and flooded his mind with all of her forgiveness, comfort, and love. He then watched himself come in with Donna and bring down the Dalek fleet. Rose went past this quickly, still holding the Doctor in her tight embrace and willing him to know the fullness of her forgiveness and love for him.
And then they were at Bad Wolf Bay, and he could feel her confusion, frustration, and even anger at both of the identical men that stood before her. How could they make her choose this? She had done everything to be with him. The Doctor could feel the deep hurt that haunted her heart as the Doctor turned her away to him. Faint hope entered her heart as she learned what the Doctor was truly giving her: a chance to spend a lifetime with him in which neither had to fear losing each other or loving each other, but she was still not convinced. And then he told her for the first time:
'I love you.'
And then they were kissing, lost for a beautiful moment in each other's love as both did as they had longed to do for so long. Still somehow in the hall, the Doctor leaned down and kissed Rose again as the emotion of that first day together washed over them for a second time.
Rose brought them straight into the next part of her life, leaving no line between the Time Lord and the man she now held beside her. They were one and the same, for they both loved her, and she loved him. They watched again together as their domestic - or not so domestic – lives went on, climaxing in their wedding, which seemed only moment ago, yet at the same time ages in the past.
And now they were back. Having both shared the very depths of their souls and showing each other their lives before and after each other, the thing that struck them was not how much they had learnt or seen, but how much more they knew was waiting to be discovered. The Doctor and Rose reveled in each other's complete mental presence for a while longer: the pure, overwhelming power of meaningful, intimate realization still washing over them. After a moment or perhaps an hour, or quite possibly several glorious days, the Doctor brought them back to Barcelona.
Rose opened her eyes slowly, taking several deep, shaky breaths as her mind struggled to register all that had happened and realize that she was back in reality again. The world seemed strikingly dark after the bright light in which she had for so long been emerged. The Doctor's fingers still lingered on either side of her temple, and he had leaned forward to rest his forehead against her own. His eyes were still closed tightly in concentration as he worked to stabilize both of their mental states and send them back to reality.
Even though it seemed as if ages had past the fire was still slowly dying beside them. And in the faint light Rose could see the multitude of tear tracks that stained her husband's face. She realized that just as many covered her own, but she was not ashamed. Those tears were a testament not to grief but to love.
She stayed still as he finished, her hands still securely grasping his wrists, and took a moment to simply admire his handsome face. It was a face ten lifetimes in the making, and she had seen them all. His eyes slowly opened before her as he took a deep breath and smiled.
"How was that?" He asked calmly, his hands still gently cradling her face as he pulled back to see her. Rose smiled, a joyous light shining in her eyes, and answered him by practically throwing herself into his embrace. The Doctor laughed out loud as he fell backwards into his chair, holding her tightly in his arms and burying his face into her golden hair. He took that as a yes.
"It was perfect." She whispered fervently, still holding him tightly. "That you, Doctor." She said with another tearful smile as she finally pulled away. The Doctor gazed up at her fondly, gently tucking her hair behind her ear, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face or his own. He could still hardly believe that this beautiful, amazing woman was his wife and he was fortunate enough to be her husband. And Rose could barely believe that she of all people could be blessed with him forevermore. For a moment they sat in silence, both lost in pure the pure wonder of each other.
"Is that something your people did?" Rose asked at last with a smile. The Doctor's brow knotted. "When they got married, I mean. Did the Time Lords do that?" She asked happily, sure that they had.
"No." The Doctor answered, his voice far off, as if he had just thought of that for the first time. "No they didn't…" His mind wandered. But one glance at his wife brought him back. "But they should have." He smiled up at her.
Rose smiled down at her Doctor, now her husband, and kissed him once more. She could not think of anything in the world that was better than this. It was perfect.
