Chapter 1
He really was happy for them. He was. But seeing the smiles on their faces when he told them the news… It was the end.
As he walked away, he considered his options. Going home was out of the question. The lack of John would be too palpable. He could have gone to his brother, but Mycroft had already refused to help, dismissing his pain as trivial and foolish. So he was going to run. Where or how he did not know. Just… away…
Then he heard it. That sound. That oddly familiar sound that he had heard once before. When he had gone on his first adventure as a kid. And met real pirates.
Mycroft had of course told him it was a dream. But that odd little scar on his left foot told him otherwise. He looked around. There… The warm yellow glow from the small windows. He changed direction and walked towards it. And then he ran.
The door was opening. He almost called out a greeting but then stopped a few feet away.
"You… You're not him…" he stammered.
"Who the bloody hell are you?" the oddly dressed man said, squinting at Sherlock.
A woman, with curls that were even more explosive than Sherlock's own, followed the man out of the box and gave Sherlock an approving smirk before she spoke. "I don't know who he is, sweetie, but the Tardis seemed very insistent we came here."
Sherlock looked over their shoulders. "The Tardis… She looks so different." Then he looked at the man again. "You are him," he said, frowning. "But you've changed too."
The man cocked his head. "So have you, I expect," he said, his voice sounding flat and very very tired. "I don't want a reunion with… whoever you are… I just want to be left alone."
He turned and walked back inside, heading for the console.
The woman grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Doctor. He needs you."
Sherlock frowned. "No, I don't," he said. "Why would I need him? I thought he had come because he needed me to help him. Again."
"You need a companion." It wasn't quite clear to whom she was speaking. "You know you do."
Sherlock huffed and turned away. "I don't need this," he muttered and he was about to leave when his eyes fell on the light from the large windows behind him. A soft breeze carried the sound of laughter and music to them and he sighed. "Fine," he muttered and turned back to face the woman. "Who are you?"
She smiled. "My name is River Song. Pleased to meet you, Mr…?" She glanced at the Doctor.
"Holmes," he answered, not looking at them. "Holmes the younger. Or Blacklock, as Rose used to call him."
River laughed. "Really? The clever little pirate boy you talked about? Now you mention it…" She met Sherlock's eyes. "Didn't recognise you without the eyepatch."
Sherlock cleared his throat and walked past her. "And you?" he said. "Are you his new companion?"
River smiled. "Sometimes."
Sherlock frowned. "Right," he said sceptically. "And what exactly are you doing here?"
"Taking the Doctor for a trip." She was still smiling.
"Oh," he considered for a moment. "Why here?" he asked then, frowning.
She shrugged. "The Tardis wanted to come here. But I'm beginning to understand why." For a moment she looked into the distance, where the party was going on, and then back at Sherlock's face.
Sherlock avoided her eyes. "Yeah..." he said a little hesitantly. "Me too." He looked in at the Doctor. "Did he lose another one?"
She nodded, sighing. "Two, actually."
Sherlock tensed for a moment, then looked back over his shoulder. "Fine," he said and stepped past her into the Tardis. "Let's go."
"Where do you want to go?" River asked, stepping towards the console.
Sherlock walked over to join the Doctor at the console, where he had been staring at the same dial for several minutes.
"I don't care," he said. "Someplace quiet?"
The Doctor nodded, but did not look up.
"Are you sure you want quiet?" River asked. "Isn't it more like you two to want an adventure to take your mind off things?"
Their shrugs were so synchronous it was almost funny.
"Really," River sighed. "You do realise that being like this isn't going to help you one bit, right?"
"Nothing is," the Doctor sighed. "It's over."
Sherlock nodded. "I never thought I'd have a best friend. What a time to find out, huh?"
"But there are things that matter. People who need you." She directed herself to the Doctor. "How about that crime planet? Or more pirates?"
"Crime?" one of them said, perking up slightly.
"Pirates?" the other asked, his eyes twinkling a little.
They turned to look at her and spoke as one: "Sure. Let's give it a try."
She chuckled. "Off we go then. Sweetie, do you want to drive this time?"
The Doctor shook his head. "No," he said. "You better do it. I'm... I'm not quite myself, just yet."
She kissed his cheek and gently pushed him out of the way.
"How come she can fly the Tardis?" Sherlock asked.
"Oh," the Doctor shrugged. "She's kind of a child of the Tardis." He seemed about to add something more, then glanced at Sherlock and apparently changed his mind.
…
"You two are the most ridiculous men I have ever known," River said, with feeling, although she was clearly suppressing her laughter while they entered the Tardis. "Good thing that at least Sherlock is relatively good with a sword. But what were you thinking? What's wrong with a good old-fashioned gun?"
"Sherlock?" The Doctor asked, clearly appalled. "I was the one who held them back at the door, thank you very much."
"You dropped your sword," River said, stressing every word.
"I still held them back..."
Sherlock snorted. "Yes, by flapping your hands so insanely about that they thought you were possessed."
River grinned. "But of course that was all part of a cunning plan. Right, sweetie?"
"It worked, didn't it?" the Doctor said, flicking his hair out of his eyes and walking to the console. "Where to now?" he asked.
River looked over at Sherlock. "What do you want to do?"
Sherlock looked at the Doctor, who smiled and flicked a switch. "I think I have an idea," he said.
...
"Okay," Sherlock said, looking around between the mass of creatures that passed their table to continue their way on the market. "That one... He... It ... is a politician. Here on vacation with a lover. Two lovers. One of them a different species." He turned to River, raising an eyebrow.
"Of course one of them is a different species," she said, before taking a sip from her drink. "Not the most spectacular deduction. It's an Ittur, you can tell from the hair on the back of his vest. Interesting. I've always wondered what those are li..." She glanced at the Doctor and grinned.
"They are quite amazing," Sherlock said, ignoring the surprised and somewhat mortified gasp from the Doctor. "Very limber and... energetic."
"I meant his lover is an Ittur, not him. He's a Quashiak. But you're right. Those are very energetic. Only, this one needs a stimulant to keep both his lovers pleased. That's the green bottle he's buying at that stall," River explained.
"I know," Sherlock said. "Well, not the names of the races. But you can tell from how he's standing and the colour of the skin around his eyes that he is exhausted. Yet his brow-ridge shows clear indications of happiness and contentment. Conclusion: one of his lovers is very skilled as well as demanding. The other one is mainly for show."
River smirked. "Very good. Now that one." She pointed at an elephant-like, blue creature.
Sherlock studied it for a moment. "Ohhh," he said, frowning slightly. "It can't find its parent." He looked around the market. "Maybe we should tell it to go look behind those stalls."
"Yes, but... I'm not sure we should send a child into that section," River said. "The parent has probably left it for a moment to buy what they needed there, but it's taking longer than foreseen."
"So... Go and talk to it? Or fetch the parent?" Sherlock asked, but then he realised that the Doctor was already heading for the large child. "Oh..." Sherlock said, smiling as he got up.
"We've got the Doctor with us. A lost child can't be much of a problem. After all we've brought one ourselves." River smiled up at Sherlock.
Sherlock laughed. "True," he said and followed the Doctor.
…
The child's mother showed up before the Doctor could even finish the story he had been telling. The gigantic creature, who was carrying a large bag, had gone a dirty purple shade as she was blushing and kept apologising both to the child and to them.
They returned to finish their drinks on the terrace and then moved on between the stalls of Gummelbub, Sherlock and River continuing their deduction game, and the Doctor adding some facts here and there.
Sherlock was busy explaining why the red shade of a particular creature's shoes (all seven of them) was undeniable proof that he was planning to murder his brother, when he accidentally bumped into something tall and wide.
"Oh," he said, sounding just slightly annoyed. "Excuse me."
"Can't you watch where you're going?" a huffy, very deep but female voice sounded above him. The huge green creature bent and picked something up she had dropped.
Sherlock looked up at her, chuckling. "I'm sorry ma'am," he said. "But I was slightly distracted by that young fellow who seems to be following you. I'm not sure his intentions are... honourable." Sherlock pointed over at a small greyish creature that was trying to hide behind a purple bush.
She frowned. "What could he want from me?"
The thing in her hand squeaked and River gave the Doctor a questioning look.
The Doctor frowned. "Maybe his little brother," he suggested. "Your..." he pointed. "Your lunch there."
"Oh, that would hardly be lunch," she said. "An appetiser at most. But I thought it could be a cute pet. It's squishy, look." She tightened her hand around the round grey thing and its black eyes almost popped out.
"Stop that!" River said, sounding shocked.
The Doctor made a funny noise, almost like the squeak the little creature had emitted earlier. "Please... ma'am," he said, squirming a little. "Don't do that. Xsundars make such a mess when they... oh..."
The tiny creature had made a coughing sound and suddenly Sherlock was covered in a lot of sulphurous yellow goo.
"Oh, that's not a nice pet at all. It will ruin my carpet," the large creature said, scrunching up her face and dropping it.
The Doctor sighed and picked up the small thing, that was heaving and whimpering. "Did the bad woman make you sick?" he said, stroking it above the eyes. "You poor little thing."
Sherlock had not moved. He just stood there, staring and dripping.
River chuckled and took a handkerchief from her pocket. "We'll have to clean you up in the Tardis," she laughed as she handed it to Sherlock.
The large woman was looking angry. "Now I still don't have a pet. Maybe the one that was following me would be better..." She turned around, almost throwing a hairy passer-by to the ground.
"Oh no," the Doctor said, stepping between her and the bush, where the creature was still hiding, though it was now whining in distress, trying to make eye contact with its sibling who was hanging limply in the Doctor's arms. "That one is larger. It will simply make a bigger mess."
Sherlock dried his face and sighed. "You're right," he said to River. "I... I'm going to need more than this." He handed her back her soaked, smelly handkerchief.
"You keep that," River smirked.
The green woman huffed. "Well, I suppose I have to thank you. If I hadn't walked into you, I had taken that home. Ugh."
"My pleasure," Sherlock said, holding the handkerchief between two fingertips.
The Doctor examined the little creature and then put it down on the ground. It squeed and scuttled off towards the bush.
River smiled. "Time to go?"
"In a moment," the Doctor said, smiling as he watched the reunion. A minute later he sniffed, wiped his eyes and took River's hand. "Now it's time to go," he said. Only then did they realise that Sherlock was no longer with them.
River looked around between the masses of aliens. "Where has he gone? Doctor?"
The Doctor frowned. "Maybe he went back to the Tardis? To get clean," he suggested.
River nodded. "Let's hope. He shouldn't wander around on his own here."
"Let's go see then," the Doctor said.
After a few steps, River frowned. "Did you give him a key, then?"
The Doctor shook his head, grinning a little. "No. But he nicked yours, back on Saurnar V."
"He didn't," River chuckled, but she felt in her pocket anyway. Then her eyes widened.
"He was bored," the Doctor said. "And I figured I might as well let him keep it as long as he is travelling with us. For... situations like this." They turned a corner and the Doctor stopped as he saw the Tardis. "But he's not there," he said.
"Are you sure?" River asked, but she was already looking around again.
