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Scopophobia – fear of being looked at or stared at
Neal Caffrey is, by his own definition, a "self-made man". That of course meaning that he is a man that he himself created. Mask upon mask of suave grace, dashing charm, and boundless confidence all bundled up with an air of infinite excitement like a child on Christmas. Movements smooth as a dancer, quick as a gazelle, mind just as quick and sharp as a tack, eyes constantly filled with a spark of mischief.
But even for the very best of conmen, masks can only go so far.
And Neal's keep cracking.
One by one the masks that he had so seamlessly built up begin to break and crumble, leaving him more raw and more open with each barrier that falls. Each wall he has constructed. Each shield he hides behind.
He can put a name and a face to each crack, each chink in his hard made armor.
Kate, Mozzie, Alex. Ellen. Sarah. Diana. Jones. . . Siegel. . . James. . . Peter. . . . . . Rebecca. . .
So many. . . Too many, too many that he has let in, too many that he can't just let go. The good, the bad. The joy, the pain. All those he has cared for but have hurt or left him one way or another. Silent graves. Broken bonds. Sharpened words he'd long ago thought himself immune to.
One by one Neal's masks are cracking and faltering, losing the strength to hide all he keeps hidden. Hidden even from himself. Even he doesn't know what he looks like without these masks. These walls. These shields. . .
And he is running from the day on which the last mask will shatter.
Because he's terrified of what people may see.
Word Count: 292
Disclaimer: I do not own White Collar. If I did, I would never let go of Neal and Peter wouldn't be acting like such a jerk in season five.
Author's Notes: Normally I would look through a story for days combing for mistakes and tweaking it 'til I'm satisfied, but it is past 3 a.m., this is my first White Collar fic, and I figure I should just post it before I lose my nerve. I'll look through it in the morning and fix it then. Meanwhile, enjoy all!
-TheOneThatGotAway99
