It was well past midnite and the captain of the grandest ship to ever sail the realms couldn't sleep to save his sorry ass. He found this surprising as he had drank enough rum tonight to drown a horse trying to seduce sleep to come to him. Alas, it had not and here he was climbing the steps up to the deck to get fresh air.

He breathed in deeply, the warm and salty air washing over him immediately, tousling his hair and fanning out his famous black leather coat gently behind him as he approached the helm of his most prized possession, the Jolly Roger.

It didn't surprise him that sleep was alluding him like this. He had a lot on his mind. For one, he was back in Neverland. And two, the Crocodile was a reluctant guest on the very ship where he lost his love, Milah at the hands of aforementioned Crocodile. The man himself having stepped over the damn spot where his beloved took her very last breath, swearing her love to him.

He vowed to put his revenge aside, however. To change. To help this ragtag crew find Henry, son of one Emma Swan. A complex creature in her own right, indeed, and the subject of his thoughts as well.

This journey had started in very much the way he had expected. Full of distrust aimed solely at himself, even though he was the very reason they were that much closer to finding Henry. The reason they had made it this far at all. But, he never said so. He simply took his licks like a man. He figured he had it coming. So, humbly, he made himself scarce. Captaining his ship proper and barking orders when necessary. He ate in his cabin. He was used to being alone, anyhow.

Until one day, Emma knocked on his cabin door...


She offered him some of the fruit she and her mother had picked on a supply mission and he graciously accepted. Thinking that was all she wanted, he muttered his thanks and returned to his desk where he poured over ancient maps of the land and self drawn maps of the stars.

"Hook?" She asked softly.

"Aye, lass?" He replied, looking up, looking to her as tired as he felt.

"Why are you acting so strange?" She asked, stepping further inside his cabin and shutting the door behind her.

"Strange?" He asked, quirking a brow.

"Yea, strange. Different. You're not acting like yourself. Hell, you haven't flirted with me inappropriately in 2 weeks. What's going on with you?" She replied as she sat on a trunk at the foot of his bed.

"Are you saying you'd like for me to be inappropriate with you, Swan?" He smirked, a dim sparkle returning to his eyes for just a moment.

"Well, no...you know what I mean. Tell me." She urged, with a roll of her eyes.

"You know what's wrong with me. You were there when it happened. The Crocodile is aboard my ship...my revenge is over...and here I am, left with feelings I've yet to understand. This is the second hardest thing I've ever had to do...in all my 300 or some odd years." He admitted candidly.

"What is the first?" She questioned.

"Saying goodbye to my Milah." He said softly. At that, Emma could feel her throat tighten. His Milah. She had never heard him speak so freely about her and in the way he spoke, it was obvious how much he had loved her. Perhaps still loved her.

Considering the man in front of her, she tilted her head thoughtfully. Before her sat probably the worlds most tragically romantic man to ever live. He fought 300 years to avenge the woman he loved and suddenly, he was forced to give it up. In that moment, Emma understood why he had been acting so distant.

He felt he had no purpose. What else could he do if not set things right for his poor Milah or if he couldn't die honorably defending her memory? Emma had never seen heard anything so sad in her life.

She understood.

"Hook, I..." Emma began before Hook raised his good hand, waggling his index finger at her like she were a naughty school girl.

"You know very well that is not my name, Lass. We're alone in my cabin, you can say it...that is, if you haven't forgotten it." He said.

"I know your name. That's not the point. Listen-" She tried again.

"Just say it, then." He sighed in his exhaustion.

The man wanted to be a man again. Not the pirate he was so well known as. Perhaps, of all the things Emma could try to give him tonight, she could at least give him that.

"Killian." She said gently, to which he gave a small smile and a nod in response.

"Thank you. Now, please, go on..." He replied with a graceful wave of his hand.

"In any case, I trust you, you know. I know my parents may not...but I do. I can see when someone is being truthful and you've never lied to me-" She said.

"That's what I've been bloody trying to tell you..." He chuckled softly.

"...you've never lied to me. And, I don't know...maybe it's my superpower mixed with my desperation to see the good in everyone, but I want to believe you've changed." Emma admitted.

"You know, Lass. That's one of the things I like best about you." He mused.

"What? My being so gullible?" She chuckled.

"No, your kind heart. Your forgiving heart. It suits you, much better than that scowl I've seen you with." He said easily.

"Yea, well...I guess I'm trying too. It's hard." She sighed.

"That's why we understand each other so well. Drink?" He asked casually, as if he hadn't just bared his soul to her not moments ago. He then got up and went to a drawer where he pulled out a bottle of what she knew had to be rum and two exquisite glasses.

"Sure, why not." She shrugged as she watched him bite down on the cork and spit it out towards the floor, much like he had when he had bandaged her hand at the beanstalk. The images of that night flashed briefly in her mind. That moment, she believed in him. And when she chained him in the Giant's castle, her only excuse was doubt in her lie detector which she knew damn well was working just fine.

He reminded her of Neal...and that scared her more than anything. She had a type, apparently. Roguishly good looking men with a pension for danger. Who were good men but fucked up as a result of their own stupidity. They're selfishness that they had shown time and time again...and yet, Killian was different than Neal.

Killian came back. He was brave enough to do so.

And, before she'd entertain the idea of him coming back solely for her...she knew that mainly, it was for himself. To be Killian again. To do something good and help someone besides himself.

He came back for redemption

And for that, she couldn't blame him.

Rousing her from her thoughts, Killian placed her glass in her line of vision and she gratefully took it. Raising it to her lips, he stopped her.

"What?" She asked with a laugh.

"We have to toast something, Lass." He informed her.

"We do?" She smirked.

"Of course. Why not?" He grinned, raising his glass.

"What are we toasting to?" She replied, doing the same.

"To finding your boy...and perhaps finding ourselves in the process." He said gently.

She nodded at that as they both took a sip from their glasses.

"I hope we find both soon." She said softly.

Killian smiled at the memory as he gazed out into the inky black sea. The moon the only light around save for the lantern he had walked out of his cabin with and placed beside the helm.

Perhaps he wasn't as alone as he thought.


Should I continue this? Or just keep it a one-shot? I feel like I want to write more, but I always want to do that lol Then I write too much and it's stupid haha

Thoughts and reviews are appreciated!

xoxoxoxox