Disclaimer; sadly do not own the characters, and am not making money out of this.

AN: Just something random that came into my head and I thought would be a good excuse for them to do something kinky. Luv me

Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf

(Or how Sirius and Remus ended up having sex in the store room)

Once upon a time there was a little boy names Sirius but because he always wore a red cloak with a hood which he put onto his head, everyone just called him Little Red Riding Hood. He was a slightly naughty boy who didn't always do as he was told and often his mother would remind him to keep to the right path. One day, Little Red Riding Hood's mother received a letter from her mother saying that Granny Lily was ill. So she sent Little Red Riding Hood to Granny Lily's house to bring her bread and wine (since Granny was a bit of an alcoholic). Mother told Little Red Riding Hood that he should not stray from the path for there were big bad wolves in the wood.

Little Red Riding Hood swaggered down the path, since he found skipping pretty silly when he heard some interesting noises.

"Sirius you're meant to skip down the path not swagger and you're meant to see some pretty flowers."

"Who's dumb idea was this anyway."
"Shut up! James, Sirius you promised to play at my cousin's primary school. Now lets get on with the story."

Little Red Riding Hood skipped down the paths whistling a happy tune until he saw some flowers which he thought his Granny Lily would like. And so he strayed off the path picking flowers here and there until a smooth voice said.

"Hello little boy, what are you doing here, so deep in the wood?"

"I'm picking flowers for my Granny Lily." Said Little Red Riding Hood and looked up. He was confronted with a pair of sexy golden eyes.

"SIRIUS!"

"But Remus' eyes are sexy."

"SIRIUS!"

"Ok, ok."

He was confronted with a pair of glinting golden eyes. It was the wolf who had snuck up on Little Red Riding Hood and wondered whether he was good to eat or not.

"I am also bringing her bread and wine."

"What a nice boy you are. And where does your Granny Lily live?"

"In the little cottage in the middle of the wood. But I must go now or I will be late." So off skipped Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf however had run ahead and knocked on Granny Lily's door. As Granny Lily opened the door, the wolf sprang on her and ate her. He then dressed in her Nightgown and lay down in her bed.

"Looking sexy there Remmie."

"Shut up Siri lets get on with this quickly so that I can eat you."

"Leering doesn't become you Remus."

"Just get on with it Sirius."

A while later, Little Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and went to the bed. He was surprised when he saw his Granny not looking at all like herself.

"What great big eyes you have grandma!" Said Little Red Riding Hood.

"All the better to see you with." The wolf replied.

"What great big ears you have grandma!"

"All the better to hear you with." The wolf replied.

"What great big teeth you have grandma." Said Little Red Riding Hood.
"All the better to eat you with." The wolf replied and swallowed him in one gulp. He then lay down satisfied and went to sleep.

It happened that the handsome and charming Woodcutter James was passing by Granny Lily's cottage and decided to check how she was.

"Why does James get to be the woodcutter?"

"Because I get to rescue Granny Lily."

"Not handsome or charming though. Why do I have to wear the nutty cape?"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH IT!"

He walked into the cottage, who's door had been conveniently left open. As he neared the bed he heard snoring and then he saw the wolf.

"Granny Lily! Where are you?"

"In here…" came a muffled voice from the wolf's stomach. The woodcutter took his axe and slashed open the wolfs stomach and out climbed Granny Lily and Little Red Riding Hood.
"Oh thank you for rescuing us!" They both cried.

"Right I've had enough."

"Sirius wait!" Remus dashed after Sirius who had disappeared into the storage room. As he walked in through the door, the door was slammed shut. "Sirius?" A low growl came from close to his left ear and he found himself suddenly pushed against the wall.

"What a cute little bottom you have grandma."

"Sirius this is kinky."
"Kinky is good. Play along."

"All the better to accommodate you with" The wolf replied.

"What an obstructing but sexy nightgown you have grandma."

"All the better to tease you with." The wolf replied.

"What a pretty mouth you have grandma."

"All the better to kiss you with." The wolf replied and turned round and started to devour Little Red Sirius Hood in completely his own way.

Lily and James stood outside shaking their heads and hoping about that Little Red Riding Hood would behave himself better at the production of their little Fairy tale the next day.