I can't believe I actually finished this, let alone that I'm actually uploading this. It's kind of AUish... a bit. It all revolves around some hypothetical event in a hypothetical place. And it was inspired by Virginia Woolf, so you can expect some parts of it to be a little long and boring.

You might also notice that the epigraph and the ending have links with Kingdom Hearts. I don't care whether you like that game or hate it, I like it. In any case, I'm just using the link to support the idea (probably an overused idea) that Cloud is moving forward and the path is really hard, so he needs some support. I guess you can already see where this is going. In any case, it's been a while since I've done anything even remotely FF7 related in a really long time (and no, I don't think Dissidia counts), this is my first fanfic for the game and I may have shot myself in the foot with the characters or the timeframe or something... i don't know, I just have that feeling. I hope my fears are unfounded.

Disclaimer: Square Enix owns all the rights to Final Fantasy and Final Fantasy 7 in particular in this case.


-----

She was his light.

-----

The ballroom was bright. Everything was bright. From the steps outside leading up to the hall, to the fairy lights and lamps placed tastefully among the plants in the garden, everything was bright. The floor with its golden glow and glossy sheen was polished to shine. The chandelier on the ceiling captured the light which made it glow like crystallised gold and sent it all around the room, causing things to shimmer and shine: wine glasses, windows, earrings and other jewellery, plates, belts and even eyes. Cloud reeled at the sight of it. He'd thought that maybe he would just come and sink into the crowd, fade out of existence for a few hours, but there was no corner left unilluminated and Cloud didn't want to degrade himself to hiding behind curtains and under tables like Denzel was currently doing. But the reason Denzel was doing it was to avoid Tifa's motherly demands of him to tuck in his shirt, straighten his bowtie, smooth out his pants and look just a little bit more than presentable at this grand event. Cloud had initially been able to avoid that, using the excuse that he had to finish his deliveries and wouldn't be home in time to depart with them but now he would have to face Tifa's scrutiny. If she could find him, that is, and it wouldn't be hard with a hairstyle like Cloud's.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around. Tifa had found him alright. She was standing there with her arms akimbo and looking disappointed but, god, she looked beautiful, Cloud thought. Her hair was down (but wasn't it always down?) and she was wearing those silver earrings with the large, white pearls and that fabulous diamond and pearl necklace that had both been given to her by a very wealthy regular at the 7th Heaven whom had been very attracted to her. The thought made Cloud cringe as well as the fact that she had agreed to date him twice and apparently twice was enough. Those shiny pearls were nearly blinding Cloud and the diamonds sparkled like all the stars in the sky had been used to create those gems. Her face was powdered and made up, her lips were glossed and her nails were painted for the occasion. She had put on a blue off-the-shoulder dress with tulle straps joined at the front by a topaz pendant. It was long and swept the floor as she walked in her blue high heels (which she had bought ages ago to be used in an incident Cloud would rather not remember) and even had an unstiffened tulle overskirt. She had found some long white gloves somewhere and had a small silver watch on her left wrist.

"Cloud, couldn't you find anything better than that?" she scolded.

Cloud looked at himself. He was wearing a sleeveless black woollen shirt (it was brand new. He'd bought it a week ago and had not worn it yet), a belt with a shiny buckle and black slacks. He'd even polished his boots thoroughly. "It was the nicest outfit I could put together."

"That isn't good enough for this kind of party," Tifa said. "You have to wear a suit. Everyone's looking at you now."

On the contrary, people were trying to ignore him – if they didn't recognise him – and no one had done or said anything about the way he was dressed. In truth, everyone was looking at her.

"I don't have a suit," Cloud replied.

"You don't have to own one, just rent one, like the one I rented for Denzel. Have you seen him?"

Cloud glanced over to a long, heavy curtain where Denzel was currently hiding. The boy shook his head with a desperate plea in his eyes. Cloud shook his head. "I haven't."

Tifa clicked her tongue in disappointment. Earlier she'd tried to convince Cloud to come by saying that it would be fun but she didn't look like she was having fun right now; fussing over clothes and appearance. She sighed.

"Well, there's nothing much we can do now, right? The shops are closed at this time of night anyway."

Cloud just nodded.

"Just remember for next time," she added. "Get a suit."

Cloud's eyebrows furrowed. Was there going to be a next time? He wasn't even aware that there was a place like this in Edge and all of a sudden he was invited to a party here. And Tifa was here looking absolutely stunning. "I've never seen that dress before," he said.

Tifa smiled. She didn't think he'd dare to point it out but was glad that he did. "Do you like it? I bought it this afternoon. It wasn't really the one I wanted. It was just the only one at the shop that came in a size that fit around my waist and my bust."

Tifa always had that problem. Most clothes were either too big for her waist or too small for her breasts. Cloud had had more than an earful of complaints about her predicaments, not to mention her difficulty in finding bras that fit. Those were not necessarily things that Cloud wanted to hear about. They were girl problems but until Marlene was old enough to know and understand what the big deal was about Cloud was going to be the one who bore the brunt of it.

"It cost me a fortune, though," she continued. "It's going to take a few weeks to earn all of that gil back."

"Wasn't that a bit of a waste, then?" Cloud asked. Why should she bother to spend so much gil on something she was only going to wear a few times in her life? Cloud knew he spent probably more than that dress cost on his motorcycle, but he used that every day. He needed it to do his job.

She looked furious. "What? You don't like it?"

Cloud just blinked.

"Doesn't it look good on me? Does it make me look fat?" she nearly shrieked at him. Now people were really looking. She huffed and turned on her heel.

'No, you look wonderful' is what Cloud wanted to say but he was left flabbergasted by her outburst.

"Women, you can't a do fuckin' thing with 'em." Cloud turned to find Cid had come up behind him. He was wearing a suit. "You need to talk? Let's go outside then, I need a damn smoke but they won't let me if I'm in here."

They only went as far as the veranda and Cid immediately lit up a cancer stick. "I was surprised that you even turned up to this shitty shindig. I mean, Vincent didn't turn up and Shelke's all kinds of upset in there. I figured you and him were kinda alike, so I assumed this wasn't your thing."

He was the same as Vincent? Yeah, probably. A bit dark and gloomy. Vincent was never one for bright lights and parties and with so many bright lights around, even in the garden, there was no way anyone was going to get Vincent anywhere near that ballroom. "I see..." was Cloud's simple response.

"Eh? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Cid exclaimed.

"Just that," Cloud said. "I see..."

"Geez, and you wonder why Tifa gets so damn frustrated."

Cloud looked at him, confused. "She's frustrated?"

"Don't you even notice?"

The image of Tifa's enraged face right before she stormed off materialised in his mind. "I guess. She got angry with me just then."

"Yeah, I heard the whole thing," Cid said, taking a small, round thing out of his pocket. He pressed a little button and it opened up but there was nothing inside. "Ain't this little thing cute? Shera bought it for me. It's an ashtray."

Cloud nodded but he didn't really care. Maybe he was a bit like Vincent.

"You have no fuckin' idea do you?" Cid asked, flicking his ashes into the 'ashtray' and putting it away. "I could tell. Women get all up in arms about this sort of thing; they wanna impress the shit outta you. As soon as Shera read the fuckin' invitation she went out huntin' for a dress and ended up buyin' one for three thousand gil! Can you fuckin' believe that? They all think they've got somethin' to prove. Shera was hangin' off my arm and didn't let go for about an hour. All the women in there were either lookin' for a man or defendin' their man from the other women."

Cloud wondered if Cid was going anywhere with this. Tifa technically wasn't 'his woman' so there was nothing for her to fear – or him for that matter.

"Cloud! You really came!"

Cloud whipped around and shouldn't have been surprised to find that the owner of the loud voice was Yuffie. She was wearing a strapless dress with a black bodice that laced up at the front and a red and white tulle skirt that looked more like a tutu. There were ruffled tulle armbands on her arms and if she had been wearing tights and a pair of slippers she would have looked like she was about to go out on stage to do a ballet. She was wearing black boots that zipped up at the back and golden clip-on earrings to match a golden chain with an elliptical pendant and like Tifa her face was powdered and made-up. All in all, Cloud didn't think the outfit was elegant, like everything else in the ballroom; like Tifa.

"This is the best thing that has happened at this boring party all night," Yuffie exclaimed. "I'm going to call Vincent right now."

"Yuffie," Cloud said, "you know Vincent doesn't like you calling his phone."

"He has a fuckin' good reason too," Cid agreed.

"Don't worry, I have permission this time," Yuffie replied. On her shoulder she was carrying a bag that was so tiny it had become hidden within her tulle skirt. She fished it out with the thin strap and pulled out her mobile phone. "I made a bet with him."

"What kind of a bet?" Cloud asked.

"I told him that if Cloud had the guts to show up, he would have to eventually show himself too and he agreed. I guess he didn't expect you to show up, huh?"

"I don't think it's a crash hot idea for Vincent to be at this sort of thing," Cid warned.

"Of course it is! You'd think he was a vampire," Yuffie retorted. She chuckled to herself. "Vinnie the Vampire."

So even Vincent thought he and Cloud were alike.

"By the way, I was talking to Teef just then," Yuffie started to say while the phone was ringing, "and she was- hey, guess what!"

Cloud sighed. "I'm going back inside."

"See ya," Cid replied. Yuffie just waved.

Cloud nodded and turned to go back inside – into the bright ballroom. He couldn't spot Tifa anywhere. Marlene was nearby with Barret, excited to see him again after his long absence. Reeve was chatting formally with some old but important-looking men. Shelke was brooding by the refreshment table with a glass of champagne in her hands. He made his way over there and got her attention with a simple greeting.

"Hi," she responded. An awkward pause followed. Cloud didn't know Shelke all that well, he'd just realised that.

"Have you been drinking much?" he asked.

"It's only my second," Shelke snapped indignantly.

"In a nine-year-old body I don't think it's a good idea to drink any more than that."

She turned her body to face him and put one hand on her hip. She had gotten all dressed up too with a backless orange halter neck dress and silver bracelets but her face wasn't as covered in make-up as Tifa and Yuffie were. "And what gives you the gall to come over here and start saying that to me?"

"Vincent's coming," Cloud told her straight up, trying to change the subject and stop that accusing glare she was giving him.

"Why is he coming all of a sudden? He refused when I asked him. It's not his kind of event."

"Well, he made a bet with Yuffie," Cloud explained, "and Yuffie won. Now he has to come."

"I guess that's good news then," she said with a hint of acid in her tone and she stalked off, presumably to find Yuffie. Cloud turned away from her retreating back to look disinterestedly at the food and drinks set out with extraordinary finesse. That acid in her voice might have been jealousy. Cloud didn't pay too much attention to other people's relationships; he'd rather stick to his own business.

A small noise almost startled him. It sounded like it had come from under the table and when he looked down a little white puppy crawled out from under the white tablecloth that touched the floor like the hem of Tifa's brand new ball gown. It looked up at him with big dark eyes and its floppy ears perked up. It was a pampered puppy; just one glance at the fine diamante collar and the scent of hibiscus medley wafting off its fur gave that away. Cloud knelt down in front of it and it trotted right out, wagging its fluffy little tail and sniffing at Cloud's boots. Cloud looked around to see if someone was looking for it and picked it up. It looked at him, panting slightly with its little pink tongue sticking out, and then it licked its nose. Cloud had never been around animals very much, even as a child, and didn't know what to think of the baby dog.

He heard that small noise again but it hadn't come from the puppy. It was still under the table. Cloud checked to see if anyone was watching him before he lifted the tablecloth and stared at the scene. Denzel had found a blonde girl his age wearing a yellow dress with short, puffed sleeves and a big, yellow bow on her back and little white kid gloves with frills and tiny ribbons and they were kissing under the table. It seemed to be a kiss more passionate than two virgins would be able to muster but the more he watched them he began to realise that they were only exchanging chaste kisses; lip-on-lip and nothing more. Denzel suddenly froze, seeing Cloud out of the corner of his eye. The girl he was with stopped kissing, wondering what had caused her partner to stop and she turned her green eyes upon Cloud. Her eyes widened the same as Denzel's did. They both had the same expression that Cloud knew Marlene to use as well as Denzel and generally took it to mean 'I did something wrong. Please don't tell Tifa'. The puppy wriggled a bit so Cloud let it go and it bounded into the girl's lap, pawing at her chest to prompt her to shower her attention on it again, instead of on this boy she'd met. Cloud averted his eyes and without a word he dropped the tablecloth. He wouldn't tell Tifa this time.

The night wore on and even when the clock struck eleven the lights were still as bright as ever. Marlene was already asleep in Barret's arms and he excused himself to take her back to 7th Heaven and put her to bed, but promised to come back soon after. Cloud observed Denzel and his new girlfriend in the garden from his place on the veranda. Had anyone else been outside at that time and not inside enjoying the food, music and idle chatter it would have been easy to witness them in the brightly lit garden. They'd finally figured out how to deepen their kisses with tongues and tried to have sex on one of the benches but – since they were both virgins with little to no sexual education – they couldn't figure out what went where and what they were supposed to do. They just jiggled up and down a bit before giving up and just talked. The puppy sat by obediently, watched their botched attempt at intercourse and waited for more attention from its owner.

High heels, Cloud thought, were a rather obnoxious invention; they tapped rather loudly on hard surfaces and women couldn't go far with them. Cloud could hear heels approaching him and turned to see Tifa walking up to him in that elegant dress, in all that make-up and jewellery. She leaned on the wide veranda rails and looked out into the garden.

"So that's where he got to," she muttered when she spied Denzel and that girl. Cloud noted that at some point while his head was turned they'd started kissing again. "He can't afford a girl like that; she's rich."

"Maybe he doesn't have to," Cloud argued.

"What are you saying? It couldn't possibly be love at their age. I'm sure they've only known each other for tonight."

The young couple got up, the girl picked up her puppy and cradled it in the crook of her arm, and they held hands as they walked together through the garden.

"You don't know that," Cloud said.

Tifa looked at him with her head tilted to one side and a raised eyebrow. "You think so?"

Cloud just nodded. He glanced at her and quickly turned back to the now empty garden. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For making you angry. I'm sorry."

Tifa giggled. "Oh... don't worry about that anymore. I guess I should have known better than to think that you of all people would understand stuff like that."

Cloud frowned and his eyebrows furrowed again but he didn't want to look at Tifa to spare her from thinking that he was now upset with her, although he did feel strangely insulted by the implication of Tifa's comment.

Tifa giggled again. "Stop doing that, you'll get wrinkles."

Cloud looked at her now. "Doing what?"

"All that frowning." She kneaded his brow to force him to stop furrowing it. Cloud let his brow relax under her touch. He watched her intently as light from all sides suddenly dimmed and the glow of her skin and the shine of her eyes sparkled in the darkness. The lights hadn't dimmed, just his view of her, especially when she smiled at him that sweetly.

She grabbed his hand when she heard the music change. "Come on, let's dance."

She led him out onto the golden dance floor where several other couples were dancing, or getting up to dance. Some had been there nearly all night (one couple left to sit this one out). Cloud absentmindedly noticed a couple who were exceedingly drunk spinning each other around idiotically. Tifa suddenly turned around and placed his hand on her waist. She put her right hand on his shoulder and picked up his right with her left.

"It's just a waltz," she explained. "Pretty simple: you just go around and around."

She was leading him. And she was a liar, it wasn't that simple. Cloud was trying to watch his feet intently but his partner's breasts kept getting in the way. He stepped on her toe at least once and nearly tripped on the hem of her dress.

"Cloud, I think you should look up," Tifa whispered, "and stop trying to look at your feet."

Cloud acquiesced by looking into her eyes and knew that to everyone else he appeared to be blatantly staring down her cleavage. Somehow by looking into her eyes it was easier. He began to tug, pulling her in to follow his lead as he was struck with the sensation of being alone with her, under a spotlight, but all of the light was radiating off her. She glittered brilliantly. In a world with only the two of them, with her smiling up at him fondly, he felt bolder until she suddenly began to frown.

"Watch where you're going," she scolded quietly.

He blinked, wondering what on the Planet she was talking about before he was jerked and the dark space around them exploded into golden light. He turned to look at the couple wearing matching black eveningwear that he'd nearly knocked over. They glared at him indignantly.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, more to Tifa than to the other couple. Was that selfish of him? Was that too rude? "I'm not a good dancer."

He fled.

"Cloud!"

He darted through the myriad of people until he got to the front door. He scurried down the front steps but only got halfway before he was forced to freeze in his footsteps.

"Cloud, wait!"

She was running towards him as fast as she could in those shoes, the golden arch doorway framing her like the stained glass in a church window. She picked up her skirt and jogged down the stairs. Maybe it was just his imagination but for a moment she sparkled – everything about her sparkled, even the diamond tiara she wasn't wearing, and didn't own for that matter. A clock inside the ballroom diligently chimed at midnight as the princess in her shimmering ball gown descended the staircase to meet him. She was almost there, when suddenly one of her heels broke. She tripped. In an instant Cloud was by her side to catch her when she fell (but he was glad to see those shoes broken). Tifa looked up at him and he gazed back. They were in each other's arms but rather than pull away and turn away in embarrassment, they stayed like that, just looking at each other. And she began to glow again.

All around him was the darkness and she was the light.

Aeris and Zack had turned away; he couldn't (shouldn't) rely on them anymore. He needed to find his own light.

And here she was.