A/N: I'm surprised you're here. One-shots never really look all that promising, if you ask me. Well, the reason why I wrote this is because I decided to take Vicky Holmes' "advice".
No, the advice was not given to me in particular. You could hardly even call it advice, either. Because I stalk my favorite celebrities through a magical tool called YouTube, I found an interview where she was talking about the saddest warrior's death. She said it was Cinderpelt's because she could relate with Cinderpelt so much. Blah blah blah, Cinderpelt was told that she would die, yadda yadda, you know the story. Well, Vicky was told by doctors that she was diagnosed with something fatal and that she might die (fortunately she got better, of course).
Well, here are some of my emotions displayed through a cat I can relate with so well. Mudclaw.
The paragraphs in italics are excerpts from "Warriors: Starlight" not necessarily in order.
There IS a moral to this. Bear with me and keep reading to the end. Enjoy.
MUDCLAW'S WRATH
. . .
"Cats of all Clans, I have some very sad news," Firestar began. "Tallstar has gone to hunt with StarClan."
"Tallstar dead!" exclaimed Tornear. "He became leader before I was born. What will WindClan do without him?"
Beside him, his apprentice, Owlpaw, bowed his head, too overcome to speak. Mosspelt, a RiverClan queen, touched the young cat on his shoulder with the tip of her tail. "He was a noble cat," she murmured. "He will be welcomed by StarClan, and walk with the best of them."
From somewhere near the back a single voice rose up in a wail of grief. Brambleclaw echoed it in his heart.
"I was there when he died," Firestar went on, with a glance at Brambleclaw, "and he said–"
He broke off as a mottled tabby warrior thrust his way forward and halted at the foot of the stump. "What's that?" he demanded, his eyes flashing anger. "Tallstar is dead? Why did no cat tell me?"
It was Mudclaw.
. . .
Anger tires me.
But still it goes on. I have no power to control it, it seems.
After countless moons of serving Tallstar as deputy, this is what I get? He must have really hated me to do this, to…to… humiliate me in front of all four Clans. What other choice did I have but seek revenge? Should I have played along with it, and accepted my fate? I deserved to be Mudstar, the leader of WindClan. But did I get what I deserved? No, StarClan forbid!
. . .
Firestar looked calmly down at the WindClan warrior. "Tallstar died just a few moments ago," he meowed. "There's been no chance to tell any cat."
"Mudclaw, you're our leader now," meowed Webfoot. "We will all grieve for Tallstar, but we need you to help us settle in our new home."
A murmur of agreement came from his Clanmates. Mudclaw dipped his head in acknowledgement.
. . .
WindClan's leadership was in my paws! I was such a fool to have believed Tallstar… he had it out for me since the beginning. He dangled leadership over my head like I was his…his plaything! And on his deathbed, he wrenches it from my grasp!
I empowered cats. I served my Clan, long and hard. Perhaps at times I tried too hard, and that's what Tallstar took as disloyalty. Maybe it was that I was so eager to prove myself, I seemed ambitious. Perhaps when I stuttered, he thought I was lying. Perhaps… perhaps…
. . .
But when he turned back to Firestar his eyes still gleamed with fury. "You should have come to find me before calling this meeting. Why should a ThunderClan cat announce WindClan's news?"
Firestar's tail-tip twitched. "Tallstar wanted it to be this way. Listen to what I am trying to tell you, please." Addressing all the cats, not just Mudclaw, he went on: "Just before he died, Tallstar made Onewhisker his deputy."
. . .
Those words…
They fill me with a fury, a thirst, a bloodlust that I can't control. I want to rip Tallstar to shreds, scatter his entrails from here to the remains of Fourtrees in the old forest. How dare he give me the opportunity and rip it away the first chance at leadership I get? I did so much for him! And this is how he repaid me?
. . .
"What?" Mudclaw screeched in disbelief.
"You mean Mudclaw isn't our leader?" Webfoot queried. He unsheathed his claws in confusion and sank them into the ground.
"Mouse dung to that!" a black WindClan she-cat drew her lips back in a snarl. "There's no cat better able to lead the Clan."
. . .
Webfoot and Nightcloud… they were my dearest friends and closest supporters. They believed in me from the beginning, even when Tallstar and Onewhisker's supporters crushed down my hopes and dreams. Then… I lost it.
. . .
Onewhisker looked down at Mudclaw. "This is as much of a shock to me as it is to you," he meowed. "And I would like you to carry on being WindClan's deputy. I'll need your support and experience every pawstep of the way."
Mudclaw's neck fur bristled. "You don't think I believe this load of fox dung, do you?" he spat. "Every cat knows that Tallstar practically handed our Clan over to Firestar before he left the forest. He's always felt more loyalty to ThunderClan than they ever deserved. And now Firestar tells us that his friend Onewhisker is to be leader! Did any other cat witness this convenient change of mind?"
His paws heavy as stone, Brambleclaw padded forward until he stood beside Mudclaw. "I did."
. . .
Those mangy, flea-ridden ThunderClan traitors! I hated them so! They assisted Tallstar in snuffing out my flame. And Onewhisker, the stupid pile of buzzard-food, he got more than he deserved. He was a young warrior, then, too young and inexperienced to know right from wrong. Tallstar was a fool to pick him to succeed him.
. . .
"Tallstar's decision was made in the sight of StarClan," Firestar hissed at Mudclaw.
"How do you know?" Mudclaw challenged. "Are you a medicine cat all of a sudden?
"His decision was clear enough," Firestar spat back.
Mudclaw spun around to face his Clanmates. "Are you going to sit here and accept this?" he demanded. "Do we let ThunderClan choose our leader for us?" Whipping around to glare at Onewhisker again, he added, "how many of our warriors do you think will follow you, you sniveling, crow-food-eating traitor?"
. . .
Well, you can hardly blame me. I was angry. And wouldn't you be, too? Think about it. I was a great deputy. Even Deadfoot, the deputy who preceded me, approved of me. But apparently, Tallstar and the rest of WindClan didn't. And I don't understand why. What did I do that was so wrong?
I know I acted wrongly when my rank was offed, and the hate that poisoned my heart can never be undone, but I loved my Clan. I was perfectly loyal. I had never broken the warrior code, I had never taken a mate from another Clan. So what I'm asking is… Why?
. . .
Onewhisker dipped his head toward his supporters. "Thank you," he mewed. "But don't call me Onestar yet," he begged. "I haven't received my name or my nine lives from StarClan."
"And you never will!" Mudclaw snarled. "You are not our leader! Come down here and fight me if you dare. Then we'll see who'll make a better leader for WindClan."
Onewhisker gathered his haunches under him, ready to leap down and meet Mudclaw's challenge, but Firestar raised his tail to stop him.
"Stop!" An outraged cry came from Barkface. "Sheathe your claws, Mudclaw," he told the WindClan deputy. "Clan leaders have never been chosen by fighting. And do you want to start a fight with Tallstar's spirit still watching over us? We should be sitting in vigil for him, not bickering over who will take his place. You betray him by behaving like this. He always expected the best from his senior warriors." he paused, with a long glance at Firestar, and then added, "I believe what the ThunderClan cats tell us. This was Tallstar's choice, and you must accept it."
. . .
Barkface was right – Tallstar did expect the best from his senior warriors, and that's what he got. But anyone – no matter how noble Tallstar thought he was, even Tallstar – would be angry if they were in my place. It's like training an apprentice and on the day of their warrior ceremony saying, "Oops! I forgot to tell you! You can't be a warrior because your claws are too sharp."
. . .
With a visible effort, Mudclaw flattened his neck fur and sheathed his claws. "Very well," he growled. He looked up at Onewhisker, and the hatred in his eyes was like poison. "You're brave enough standing there with your ThunderClan friends to back you up. But if you think I'll serve as your deputy, you're wrong."
Onewhisker dipped his head. "Very well," he meowed. "I'm sorry if that's your decision."
. . .
I know – I knew, even back then – that it wasn't Onewhisker's fault he was appointed in my place. But I still couldn't get over the tide of rage that I carried within me. Besides, he didn't have to flaunt it in my face! He began to talk about deputies and receiving his nine lives right in front of me! He could have at least waited until I walked away and cooled off. Then I might have helped him. Might.
. . .
Mudclaw's eyes, glaring with hatred, were a mouse-length from Brambleclaw's, and the WindClan cat's scent flooded over him.
"Traitor!" Brambleclaw gasped.
He tried to heave upward and throw his enemy off, but the sodden ground yielded under him, and he felt the icy touch of liquid mud soaking into his pelt. He battered helplessly against Mudclaw's belly with his hindpaws.
Mudclaw let out a snarl, baring his teeth. Brambleclaw braced himself as he waited for the shining fangs to meet in his throat. Then a darker shadow reared up beyond Mudclaw, and a massive tabby paw swatted the WindClan warrior on the side of the head. Mudclaw jerked back, off balance, and Brambleclaw managed to slide out from under him to see him grappling with Hawkfrost in a clump of reeds.
. . .
Of all of the cats that have wronged me, Hawkfrost was the hardest to forgive. He is the one I struggled with, the one who I couldn't help but hate.
. . .
The next flash of lightning showed Hawkfrost standing over Mudclaw with one paw on his belly and the other pinning him by the throat. Mudclaw writhed under Hawkfrost's paws and spat out an insult.
"You helped Mudclaw," Brambleclaw stammered. "You attacked WindClan, but now…"
Hawkfrost bowed his head. "True," he meowed. "I joined with Mudclaw because I believe he is the rightful leader of WindClan. But you're my brother, Brambleclaw. How could I let him kill you?
"Mudclaw persuaded me to join with him," Hawkfrost went on. "He promised to leave RiverClan in peace if I and some of my Clanmates helped him drive out Onewhisker."
"Tell him what else I promised," Mudclaw snarled from beneath Hawkfrost's paws. "Tell him how you came to me and offered your help if I made you WindClan's deputy… and helped you take over RiverClan later."
"What?" Hawkfrost's eyes widened. "Brambleclaw, don't listen to him. Why would I want to leave RiverClan? And why would I need to ask any cat for that kind of help?" he lifted his head. "If I am to lead RiverClan one day, it will be by the warrior code, or not at all."
"Liar!" Mudclaw spat.
. . .
At that moment, I knew Brambleclaw was torn. He wanted to believe Hawkfrost, but sometimes kin is not who you can trust.
I don't know what cats say about me today. They may call me all sorts of foul names, but one thing I am not is a liar. I never lied once. I told the truth my whole life. Hawkfrost was the liar, and I know what he did to deceive the Clans into thinking he was on their side. But he is not important at this time.
. . .
A claw of lightning tore the sky from top to bottom. The pulsing blue-white flare lit up a cat standing on the shore opposite the island. It was Mudclaw. In the same heartbeat, an earsplitting crack sounded across the water. The lightning crackled down to the topmost branches of one of the trees on the island, outlining it briefly in a spike of flame. The tree began to fall, gathering momentum as it toppled. Too late, Mudclaw turned to flee. His screech of terror was cut off as the tree crashed down on shore, its branches clattering like bones.
. . .
Alas, I was one unlucky cat who got caught in a storm. Honestly, it could have happened to any cat. But the Clans, foolish as they were, believed Hawkfrost when he told them that since I had been killed, StarClan approved of Onewhisker. They believed I was just a curse, and my name was easily forgotten.
I watched the Clans, all four of them. I watched Hawkfrost attempt a murder on Firestar. I watched Leafpool's kits be born. I watched them grow up and find mates. I watched Hollyleaf murder Ashfur and attempt suicide. I watched them fight the Great Battle. I watched that tree fall and kill Longtail and break Briarlight's back. Were they rejections by StarClan, too? Did Honeyfern waste her life?
I saw it all.
And I never forgot them. I forgave, but I never forgot. I was unfairly wronged, but what's done is done. I cannot go on hating like this, for it is destroying me.
I don't walk with StarClan or the Dark Forest. But it is similar to the Dark Forest. I walk in a valley with no sun, no moon, no stars. There are no trees, no grass, no prey. I walk where there is nothing. Nothing but anger, and bitterness, and hollowness.
Although those feelings of mine were once very strong, they are gone now. But I can never leave this place, for StarClan has decided to eternally punish me. It took me moons upon moons upon countless moons to forgive them of that, too. Just another test.
A word of advice, young one. Don't go to sleep with bitterness or anger in your heart. It settles there like poison forever. And if you have enough poison, you will end up like me.
And what is enough poison to get you here? Don't test the waters. You don't want to know.
A/N: Did you like it?
