Author's Note:It should be said that I do not, by any means, inherit this piece into the pile of my 'good fiction works'. It was very early in my writing experience that this was done. Just FYI.
Hello.
This is my second fanfic ever posted.
However, it's my first Drake and Josh fic.
I'm proud.
I don't expect too much out of it. I wrote it in about an hour and thirty minutes in a school library. There wasn't even a rough draft. Haha.
Enjoy.
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"Drake is dead."
Josh's fingers hesitated over the laptop's keyboard, he didn't know if he could do this.
The psychologist said it would be good for him to write out his feelings, so he could sort them out, and figure out why he wasn't crying. The doctor said it was perfectly normal for him not to be crying. He says everyone deals with death differently.
Josh didn't think it was perfectly normal.
He loved Drake. Before the accident, he couldn't even have imagined his life without Drake.
Drake put the light in his life, so to speak. He made every day a sort of adventure. More often than not, the adventure got them in heaps of trouble; but josh could have cared less right now.
Tap tap tap. Josh pecked away at the keys.
"I can feel the emotion, but the tears won't flow. It's like my tear ducts are all dried up. I want to cry, I really do. BUT I CAN'T. It's been a whole month since he died, and not one tear from Joshy. Nope.
I feel like I'm disgracing him by not crying my eyes out. I know that's probably not true, but I can't help what I feel. I want him to know that I miss him, wherever he is, and that I don't blame him for getting into the car accident. It wasn't his fault. He didn't know that guy was stoned when he let him drive.
I do blame him, however, for leaving me here without him. For leaving me here without so much as a goodbye.
Maybe that's why I'm not crying…
Because I'm angry at him? But the anger isn't even that intense.
What is wrong with me?
Maybe I should just kill myself. It wouldn't be hard.
Audrey has tons of pills in the bathroom cabinet. Sleeping pills and anti-depressants. I even think dad has a razor in there somewhere.
But would dying take away the pain?
The pain wouldn't be so bad if I could eat, or sleep, or cry.
And I think that if I could cry, the pain would flow out through my tears.
Why did you leave me, Drake?
Why did you leave me in so much pain?"
Something dropped and splattered over the key marked 'D'.
Josh lifted a hand slowly and wiped it under his left eye. It came away with a streak of salty liquid, a tear. His pain.
"I love you Drake."
Josh sobbed, and closed the laptop.
--
I hope you liked it.
It was inspired by my own feelings.
One of my close friends died, and I couldn't cry.
I still haven't.
PLEASE REVIEW.
