Disclaimer: The Ninja Turtles are not mine.
A/N: So I have decided to do the 100 theme challenge (thanks for talking me into it, FirebirdScratches!) These will all take places in different incarnations, wherever I get inspiration (1987, 2003, 2007 movie, and 2012). I will be sure to put the universe in an A/N. This first one is going to span all four, with each one featuring a turtle from that universe, and thus is longer than most of the rest will be.
001. Intro
1987 - Donatello
Sometimes Donatello wondered why he even bothered.
His family was gathered in his lab for the unveiling of his latest invention, and the genius was already beginning to feel discouraged. It didn't help that Raphael had jokingly donned a fire fighter suit for the event ("Just in case…") and that Michelangelo was clearly more interested in his slice of pizza and the latest Bugman comic. Leonardo was politely attempting to be attentive, but a slight distracted glaze in his eyes had broken through his collected exterior.
Donatello knew he shouldn't let it get to him too much; they just didn't understand. If circumstances were different...for a rare, fleeting moment, the brainiac wished he were human and able to mingle amongst his scientific peers. But life was what it was, and his brothers were who they were. There was no changing them, and as a unit they completed each other, their differences making them the perfect crime fighting team.
Donatello took a deep steadying breath as he reached for the sheet covering his newest invention. He cleared his throat to get his brothers' attention. The genius' unsure gaze flickered over his siblings, and locking with those of his sensei. As if sensing his purple masked son's unease, his mouth curled up at the corners in a reassuring smile. His eyes glittered with pride.
Letting out the breath, and feeling more confident under Splinter's accepting gaze, the genius pulled off the cover and announced, "Greetings, gentlemen...Introducing...my latest invention…"
2003 - Michelangelo
"Raphie! Oh Raaaappppphhhhhiiiiiieeeeeee!"
Michelangelo's sing-song call carried into the den area of the lair. Raphael cringed from his seat on the couch. Mikey's voice could cut through anything, sadly even the wrestling match the hotheaded turtle was attempting to watch.
Raphael grumbled in irritation as he whipped his head around, his mask tails swinging onto his plastron from the momentum.
"Wadda you want? This had betta be good," Raph snapped at his younger brother as the light hearted turtle came into view at the arm of the couch.
Michelangelo had what appeared to be a book clutched protectively in his hands and he was bouncing on the balls of his feet in barely contained excitement. His eyes were wide and they sparkled like twin stars.
He grinned so wide, it felt strained upon his cheeks.
"Have no worries, bro!" Mikey said encouragingly. "This is better than good! This is awesome! This is epic! This is -"
"Out with it already!" Raph growled. "I'm missin' the match here!" He gestured angrily at the wall of TVs.
Michelangelo flopped down next to his older brother, causing Raphael to sink down into the couch further from the added weight.
"Well…" Michelangelo began. If it was possible, his smile had grown even more expansive. His teeth glimmered in the flickering of the televisions. "Remember the time we all got zapped into alternate dimensions by Ultimate Drako?"
"Yes…" Raphael replied impatiently.
"And remember how I told you guys that I got put in a world where us Ninja Turtles were super heroes?"
"Yes…"
"And remember how -"
"Mikey!" Raphael ground out through gritted teeth. "Get. To. The. Point!"
The energetic youngest sibling was not perturbed by Raphael. His huge grin refused to dissipate and his elated energy buzzed around him like an erratic hive of bees.
"Fine...fine...spoil the build up why dontcha?!" Michelangelo frowned playfully. Without hesitation, he held up the book he had been holding onto. "I made a comic of the Super Turtles! Wanna read it?"
From the brief glance he gave the cover which Michelangelo was proudly displaying, Raphael had to admit to himself that the artwork was quite good...for being drawn by a numbskull, of course. Not that he was willing to admit that out loud.
"Mikey," Raphael lowered the volume on the TVs and placed the remote on the couch next to himself. "Comics aren't really my thing, bro. Maybe you could ask Donnie to take a look at it? He's inta that nerdy stuff like you are."
Michelangelo's eyes flickered with a mix of hurt and disappointment.
"I came to you first cuz I really wanted to show it to you, Raph," Michelangelo said, his voice downtrodden. "I seriously worked really hard on it...this isn't some goofy thing I threw together."
His customary cheery demeanor deflated like a balloon.
Michelangelo's hurt expression cut Raphael to the core and he felt his emotional walls crumble, as only his baby brother could do to him.
"Alright, Mikey," Raph's gruff voice was softer than usual. "You gonna show me or not?"
Mikey perked up and the light returned to his eyes. He scooted closer to his brother, his exuberance rebounding in full force. His upbeat spirit was contagious and even the moody Raphael found himself smiling.
Michelangelo turned the first page. "Hang onto your shell, Raphie! Introducing…"
2007 - Raphael
"Are you ready, Raphael? For I cannot assist you until you are fully committed to helping yourself," Splinter inquired as he lit the last candle in the dojo.
Raphael nodded slowly from his place on the tatami mat. Sitting with his legs crossed, he let out a long breath, attempting to relax his normally tense muscles. It was proving to be more difficult than the temperamental ninja had anticipated. He let out a soft growl in frustration, which caused his whole body to go rigid in response to the sudden release of adrenalin. His heart beat against his plastron, his emotions escalating further at his ineptitude at even basic meditation.
Coming to sit by his second eldest son, Splinter noted the tightness in Raphael's shoulders. Raphael's eyes were screwed shut, his expression both pained and in deep concentration.
The sensei placed a comforting hand on Raphael's shoulder. The muscles involuntarily twitched under his touch.
"Raphael," the ninja master spoke up, "you must let go of your anger and self doubt if you wish to begin to seek peace. Center yourself and learn to work with the fire of your spirit instead of letting it consume you. Your passion and fire are what make you unique amongst your brothers. Until you learn to accept it as a strength - instead of a shame - you will never be at peace with yourself. Feed the flames with what matters, instead of fuelling it with what enrages you."
"Hai, sensei," Raphael replied, his voice strained.
How could he learn to let go? What right did he have to let go? After all the mistakes he had made, the pain his anger had caused? Memories of his fight with Leo, his neglect of Mikey, his disrespect of Splinter, and his mistreatment of Donnie tore at his conscious and reopened the tortured wounds of his soul.
"Your determination rivals that of Leonardo," Splinter said gently. "I know you have the inner strength to do this."
Raphael ground his teeth at being compared to Leonardo. He hated that...feeling like he was living in the shadow of his perfect older brother; never bright enough to shine on his own; ever skulking; ever hidden.
"You are not him, Raphael," Splinter commented, as if reading Raph's mind. "I am not comparing you to him. I only wish for you to draw confidence from your similarities. What do you admire about Leonardo?"
Raphael's brow furrowed in deep thought. How was this going to help? How would going over how great Leonardo was do anything but remind Raphael of what a screw up he was?
The familiar anger boiled under his skin; blazed through his veins. His hands clenched and unclenched as he fought to remain under control.
"F- father," he choked, his voice thick with anguish. "I - I don't -"
"Breath, Raphael," Master Splinter instructed soothingly. "Let your breaths be a calming breeze and not a destructive hurricane."
Raphael slowed his breathing, focusing on each breath. He pictured Leonardo in his mind, fragments and years swirling in a dizzying kaleidoscope.
"His - his honor...his bravery...his passion...his loyalty...his strength...his courage…" Raphael's voice dipped to a lower, as if weighted down by everything Leonardo was and he clearly was not.
Splinter positioned himself in front of his son, and placed a hand on each side of Raphael's face. "Now, my son, look at me."
Not one for physical contact, Raphael found himself tensing again. He had to push back the urge to move away. His amber eyes locked with Splinter's.
"Do you know what I see when I look at you, Raphael?"
Raphael shook his head languidly. He swallowed heavily, his mouth dry.
"I see: honor, bravery, passion, loyalty, strength, and courage...but as you. In only the way you bring it to the family. Not as Leonardo. I have never wanted you to be Leonardo, my son. You have been competing with him for so long, trying to differentiate yourself, yet also be him at the same time, that you lost yourself along the way. We all love you for you, Raphael."
Raphael tore his head out of Splinter's grasp and averted his gaze guiltily to the side. He was experiencing more emotion that he was able to process, and his chest heaved with the effort.
"I - I have trouble seeing that, Father," Raphael admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I just get so angry...I ruin everything...I -"
"That's why we are here, my son. And if you are ready, I can help you. This is not going to be an easy path. You are going to have to face yourself instead of running away like you have for so long."
Splinter had faith in him, that much Raphael knew. He supposed it was a start.
"I'm ready."
"Then let's begin."
2012 - Leonardo
It was late; way past the time when any of them should have been awake. Despite this fact, it was no surprise to Leonardo that Donatello's bed was empty. It was a common occurrence for the genius to be up late tinkering in his lab…
Only we aren't home, Leonardo thought to himself morosely as he softly opened the front door to the farmhouse.
The leader didn't have to search far for his younger brother. Donnie was sitting on the porch steps, his form silhouetted against the dark backdrop of night. He was gazing up at the sky, causing his mask tails to to almost reach his belt.
"Mind if I join you?" Leonardo asked as he came up behind Donatello.
"Hmm? Oh sure," the genius replied distractedly. He reached down next to himself to move a pair of binoculars to his other side to make room for his sibling.
"What are you doing?"
Donatello didn't answer the question for a few silent minutes, his expression a mix of wistfulness and deep contemplation.
"It's amazing how much clearer the sky is out here in the country," Donatello commented, almost to himself. He paused for a moment. "How many more stars we can see."
Leonardo drew his own attention skyward and nodded in agreement. Realizing that Donnie probably didn't see the motion, he let out a hum in acknowledgment.
"It truly is a wonder, how fathomless it is. Billions of galaxies, each with billions of stars...and here we are like a tiny grains of sand on an eternal beach."
Leonardo gave his brother a slight grin. "I never knew there was a touch of philosopher in you, Donnie."
Donatello turned his attention away from the sky and looked at his brother. "I guess I'm just channelling my inner Master Splinter…" He had mentioned their missing father without even really thinking about it, and his voice cracked painfully when his mind had caught up to his words. He averted his gaze and turned it to the beat up binoculars he had just about forgotten.
"I miss him too, Donnie," Leonardo said, picking up on how Donatello had shut down.
Without addressing Leonardo's comment, Donatello carefully picked up the binoculars and began fiddling with them nervously. He was skirting the issue, treading around it despite the reality that it was a sizable elephant in the living room of their lives.
"A-april found these for me in the attic."
He handed them to his brother.
"They are old, but they still function adequately."
He went about explaining how they worked to the leader, his voice strained with barely contained emotion. He choked it down behind every measured word.
"They're not a telescope by any means, but I have found them to be engaging in their own way. You can see even more stars if you look through them into the sky," Donatello concluded.
Leonardo grasped them firmly in his hands and put them up to his eyes. Donatello was correct and he was able to observe many more stars than he was able to without.
"Remember when Splinter got you a telescope for our twelfth mutation day?"
Donatello nodded numbly, his mouth drawn into a tight line.
"And you were so excited that you fixed it up immediately, only to realize that it was a few years before you'd ever be able to really use it for its intended purpose?"
A ghost of a smile flitted onto Donnie's mouth, as the memories played in his mind. He snorted a slight chuckle.
"Pirate Captain Mikey got more use out of it than I ever did."
"Do you still have it?"
"Yes, I do...somewhere in my lab."
"When we get home...we should take it out and use it."
Donatello's smile faded into obscurity at reality came crashing back down on his shoulders like a leaden cape.
"Leo…" anything else he was going to say trailed off, but what the genius didn't say spoke more to the leader than what he had said. If we even have a home left to go to.
"Don't act as if there is some happy ending waiting for us in New York. That would be something Mikey would say."
Leonardo gazed fixedly at his brother, a maelstrom swirling in the oceanic depths of his eyes.
"We don't know what the outcome will be, Donnie. There is no happy ending...there is no sad ending...for nothing ever truly ends...but it can't hurt to hope a little."
When had Leonardo become so wise?
"Now you sound like the philosopher…" Donatello asserted.
"Just channeling my inner Master Splinter," Leonardo smirked.
Donatello allowed himself another small grin despite himself.
The brothers both wordlessly turned their gazes back to silent sky. And just like the sky, their own story had no beginning...and no end.
