Hiccups

The Doctor and Rose were eating tea at Rose's flat. The Doctor hadn't really wanted to come, but after Jackie had said they would have chips, and then jelly babies, with lemonade, he had agreed. The Doctor loved all of these, and was drinking far too much lemonade, while explaining to Rose all about this amazing planet he would take her to.

"It has 14 moons, seas of pink and they do the most amazing chips. They even wrap them in newspaper. They taste much nicer in newspaper," he said at 70 mph. All of sudden…

"Hic!"

"What d'you say Doctor?" Rose asked.

"I said they taste much nicer in newspaper."

"No, after that."

"Nothing, hic."

"You've got hiccups, haven't you?"

"He gets hiccups?" Jackie asked, amazed that even with the Doctor's respiratory bypass, he still got hiccups.

"No, hic," the Doctor insisted, embarrassed.

"Drink some water upside down," Rose suggested. "It always cures them for me."

"Okay," the Doctor said and Jackie went off to get some water.

A few minutes later and all the Doctor had succeeded in doing was completely soaking his pinstripe suit and Converse.

"Awww, my trainers are all wet, hic. They go all weird when they're wet."

"Mum, can you think of any other ways to cure hiccups?"

"Well, he could sip water up through a straw with his fingers in his ears."

"That act-hic-ually works?" the Doctor asked, in interest.

"It worked for me," she told him.

"Hmmmm, hic." So Jackie went to get another glass of water and a straw. The Doctor looked very funny, Rose thought, as he sipped it up with his fingers in his ears.

Unfortunately this didn't work either, so Jackie was forced to go on the Internet and look up cures for hiccups on there. None, even these ones worked though:

Taking lots of deep breaths or any other breathing ones,

Counting to twenty with his fingers in his ears,

Saying things out loud before the next hiccups (the Doctor rather enjoyed this one as he got to shout a lot),

Sitting quietly in concentration (he didn't like this one as much),

Pinching the back of his shoulder until it hurt (he definitely didn't like this one),

Pull his hair for 10 seconds (obviously not this one as he nearly pulled his precious hair out),

Having a conversation with Rose about a random planet,

Putting his face in ice cold water,

Balancing something on his nose (which the Doctor could do, but didn't cure the hiccups),

Breathe into and out of a paper bag for a few minutes,

Gargling,

Taking a big gulp of water, lying down and then swallowing it or

Holding his breath for 10 seconds and then drinking water for 10 seconds. So after a few hours, the only thing the Doctor had lost was his dignity, and definitely not his hiccups.

"This is just-hic-silly," he said, now very, very wet and annoyed.

"Wait, there's one thing we haven't tried yet," said Rose, with an idea.

"What?" asked Jackie. Rose went over and whispered it in her ear. She nodded.

"What?" the Doctor asked. "Really, what?"

"Well, you could eat a Popsicle."

"You really think that-hic-'ll help?"

"Yeah," Rose said. She managed to not laugh at the sight of Jackie coming up behind the Doctor with a big bucket of ice-cold water, though she nearly gave it away when she looked at her mum.

"So Doctor, tell me what Gallifrey is like," she said when he detected something was wrong. He instantly started going on about the skies of orange and it being very beautiful, so he forgot all about Rose looking behind him until…

"Wahhh, cold, cold, cold!" Rose had to reprimand herself when she started to laugh. He did look very funny though!

"Sorry, Doctor, but it did cure your hiccups." The Doctor however didn't seem very bothered that Jackie had just poured ice cold water all down him.

"I have got to do that again!" he said, instead of getting very annoyed.

"Got to go and change my shirt though. Oh, yeah. My hiccups have gone."

Rose laughed and then, "Hic."

"Oh, no," the Doctor said as he buried his head in his hands.