Ok. This story is a twist. It's hilarious. The characters are nothing of what you expect and o/m/g/ Sesshomaru, is the funniest thing ever. U will love it. Trust me, you might be a bit pissed off from the character lining but I promise that u will love it also.
Plus this is my first fanfic. So be nice. You will laugh for ever. If you r&r you will get my love. You don't like it you have absolutely no sense of humor. Ok. Well I will let you read it now. So enjoy. Peace Love and NO War! (Inside Joke).
The new and improved Inuyasha
Chapter 1: The Twisted Brothers
Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken were walking down a narrow path when all of a sudden Sesshomaru tripped over a big tree root. He jumps back up and says "Oh my god I broke…. a nail, Jaken looks please hurry we have to go to get another manicure. They were walking back (more like running) and suddenly out of the sky men started falling. Then Sesshomaru burst into song "It's raining men hallelujah its raining men" and he turns around and says "sing with me Jaken."
Then Rin started to strip down naked when Sesshomaru turned around "Jesus, Rin cover yourself up, God!" After they calmed down and Rin got dressed, they tried to figure out what was going on (or at least Rin did, Sesshomaru didn't give a fuck I mean it was raining men!) When there was no more men raining Sesshomaru got furious, "Where they all go?"
Back at mansion:
There was a bit of commotion going on, "Inuyasha get out of my room, me and Sango are trying to listen to Slipknot, Damn." Kagome yelled. "Why do you listen to that it causes so much violence and hatred, and we need all love we can have, group hug!" She throws a pillow at him, "Fuck you!" she screamed. "Fine I go spread my love somewhere else." Inuyasha said while skipping to her door tossing flowers around her room and screaming "Peace, Love, and
No War" Inuyasha skipped down to Shippo room, opened the door and screamed "Peace love and No War! Here have a flower!" Inuyasha tossed a handful of flowers at Shippo and continued to spread his love to the other rooms. He opened gangsta Kaedes hut screaming "peace love and no war!" Kaede looked at him and pulled out a 9mm and said(well threatened) "get the fuck out or I'll pop a cap in yo ass!" Inuyasha gave a blank stare, and then said "have a cap full of flowers!" then left. He went downstairs picked up the phone and called Sesshomaru. The phone rang for a few seconds until Sesshomaru picked up. "What's up girlfriend?"
Inuyasha, confused on the other line said" I just wanted you call and tell you…. Peace love and no war!" Inuyasha screamed into Sesshomaru's ear. "Um…Sesshomaru…are you there?" little to Inuyasha knowing, it was Sesshomaru's answering machine. "Oh well, peace love and no war!" Then Inuyasha continued his spree of tossing flowers and happiness.
At the salon
"Can you please help me? I'm in a hurry. I broke a nail!" Sesshomaru screamed. He looked around to see the place in utter chaos. People were running around screaming "code red!" and "we have an emergency! Get a specialist down here right away! Get the SNB!" The next thing Sesshomaru noticed was glass breaking through the ceiling. "Oh my god! My eyes! Jaken help me!" the next event was the room being poured full of tear gas. Sesshomaru screamed "oh my god what's going on!" Then a man walked up to him. "Are you the victim?" the man asked. "Yes it's me! Please help! My nail broke!' Sesshomaru screamed to the man. "Sir calm down, everything is under control, we have the best." Sesshomaru sighed and said "oh thank god." "Sir please sit down and explain to me what happened. How long has it been broken?" the man asked Sesshomaru. "It's been broken for a few hours now. Please help me! I'm too young to die without a nail!" Sesshomaru said with fear of his life in his voice. "It's ok we will fix your nail." The man said with confidence. He took out a finger nail filer and started his work. Sesshomaru screamed "OWWWW be gentle, I bruise like a banana, God!"
Back at the mansion:
Gangsta Kaede jumped into her chrome packed four horse power pimped out ban wagon. "I'll see you bitches and hoes later. Peace out homies!" She threw up her gangsta sign, hit the whip and strolled out with Fiddy Cent Candy Shop in the background.
In the mansion Inuyasha was very sad. He had locked himself in the closet and said "Nobody wants my Peace Love and no War. What's wrong with them? Everyone wants a group hug and a cup of flowers." As he said that Kagome walked by. "Inuyasha is that you?" There was no answer. "Inuyasha?" Kagome said again. "NO! I haven't locked myself in the closet and turned off the light and ruined my lovely flowers! Nobody wanted my Peace Love and no War. NO! Not a single group hug! NO! NO! NO! This can't be happening! Everybody wants Peace, and Love, and no War! But obviously you people don't want it. I was trying to be nice, a loving and caring person, and you shattered my hopes and dreams. YOU! YOU! You know what I DON'T LIKE YOU! ESPECIALLY THAT GANGSTA KAEDE AND HER POPPIN A CAP IN MY ASS!" Shippo walked by to. "INUYASHA! It's ok! I'm a victim to." He broke down by the door and started to cry. "Oh my God!" Kagome said. "I can't take it." (Shippo was a victim of Michael Jackson.) Kagome ran down the hall way to her room and got Sango. "Sango you have to help me! Inuyasha has locked himself in the closet and Shippo broke down saying that he's a victim and Gangsta Kaeda went to go make a deal! And….And………I can't take it!" Kagome picked up pillows and started to hit her forehead. "I.. CAN'T… TAKE IT!" she said while she hit herself. Sango opened her journal and started to write, "Death has overcome our house." She took another hit of her joint, and passed it to Kagome. "This what I do when I can't take it. Complements to Gangsta Kaeda." She said in a calm and relaxed voice. "What? What's this?"
10 minutes later.
"You are right Sango, this does work." She sat there and looked around the group. They were all sitting around in a circle and looking very, very, very calm. Inuyasha wasn't in the closet and Shippo wasn't crying, and Sango, just wasn't different. Inuyasha said. "I don't know what this is but it's great! Everybody group hug!" Everybody gathered around Inuyasha and gave a giant group hug. "Now this is what I'm talking about!" Inuyasha screamed with glee. Just then Gangsta Kaede came in with her gang and looked around. "What's the fuck this!" She yelled. "I come home and this is what I find! A whole bunch lil kids sitting round huggin on my God damn carpet! "What are you talking about!" Kagome yelled. "You are dripping blood on your carpet." Gangsta Kaede walked over to Kagome, strained to grab Kagome by her collar, but couldn't so she got one of her gangsta members to do it. "T-bone." Kaede said. "Pick her up." The guy picked her up and put her in Gangsta Kaedes face. "You didn't see nottin Bitch!" Kaede said with a threat and the guy dropped her. Her and her gang walked out of the room.
Inuyasha said. "Wait Kaede! You need a group hug to!" Inuyasha chased after her.
Nobody had seen Miroku for days now and they all wanted to find him so they sent Sango. Sango went up to his room. She opened the door and found a sight she would never forget. Miroku having a three some with two chics. "Get the fuck out of my room. Bitch I'm trying to pimp here!" Sango hurried out and shut the door. "OH MY GOD!" Sango freaked out. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" she ran down the hall way screaming. Kagome saw her running in the hall and stopped her. "What's wrong Sango?" she asked. Sango looked in all directions and screamed as she continued to run.
Back at the Salon
The salon was still hectic and crazy. Only because Sesshomaru's right index finger nail was longer than the others. "OH my god!" he yelled. "What did you do! I look crazy! Take it off GOD! Take it off now!" "We can't sir we used superglue." Sesshomaru's face sank into sadness. "What! What do you mean?" his eyes started to tear up. "I'm gonna look like a freak!" "I'm sorry sir. The mission was a failure." Everyone cleared out, leaving Sesshomaru in a state of depression. He sat there for three hours staring at the ugly nail. Rin walked in. She had been waiting for her lord for a long time. "What's wrong lord Sesshomaru?" she asked. "My nail. It's ugly don't look at it." He sobbed. "Oh. Well I can strip for you." As she took off her sweater, lord Sesshomaru yelled. "No! Oh god no! Great Jehosephet! Stop this instant. MY EYES! MY EYES!"
"God you don't have to rub it in!" Rin ran out of the Salon. "NO! Rin I was just upset! Don't leave me! All alone." He started to cry again. "Everyone leaves me." Jaken walked in. "I'm here for you my lord." Jaken and Sesshomaru hugged.
Back at the mansion yard
"Whistle whistle whistle." Inuyasha whistled. He was crossing the yard and skipping over to their new next door neighbor's house. "Lalalalalalal" he sang.
When he got to the door, he knocked. "Anyone home!" he yelled politely. The door opened and a man in a wheel chair came forth. "Hi! I'm Inuyasha from next door! I came to get sugar! Do you have any?" The man got a crazy look on his face and his eyes and mouth started to twitch. "Sugar." He said in a muffled voice. "I don't have sugar. Sugars white." He said. "Well what's wrong with white mister?" Inuyasha asked. "I have a phobia." The man said. "Oh well you are white." Inuyasha told the man. "Wha, what!" the man started to scream and yell. He scooted his wheel chair back and forth and in circles. He hit the wall, screaming "WHITE!WHITE!AHHHHHHH!" His wheel chair hit the wall again and toppled over. "I'm not white!I'm purple!" he said while hitting himself in the head with his fist. "NOOOOTTTT WHHIIIITTTTEEEEE!" "Oh well bye then mister." Inuyasha hopped back. "Well he was a nice fella." He said. He skipped all the way to the house and the health inspector was there. "HI! Mister!" Inuyasha said to the new person. "Who are you? I'm Inuyasha!" He said. The man turned around with his cigar and said. "I am Koga, the health inspector." The man had a weird accent. "I am here to inspect, this premises." He took another puff of his cigar and blew it in Inuyasha's face. Inuyasha coughed. "Well have fun mister. Here have a flower. Peace, Love and no War. Bye!" Inuyasha ran down the hall way looking for the others to spread his love and happiness.
Back at the salon:
Sesshomaru and Jaken were still having there moment when all of a sudden Rin ran into the salon and yelled "Oh my God, are yall gay?" "No silly, of course not. We are just having a feminine moment. God. Lets go now." So they got up and left the salon and continued their journey while singing. When they got to lord Sesshomaru's house they sat in the living room and talked about there day "I especially liked the part when it was raining men." Sesshomaru said with joy in his voice. When they were done talking they all went to there rooms and fell asleep. The next morning Sesshomaru woke up to the sound of music, to be specific Mozart, it was Jaken playing his favorite song. Sesshomaru walked into Jaken's room to find Jaken dancing and jumping around in his underwear.
"Jaken. I have been thinking and," he put his pinky to the corner of his lip, "I…I…I think I'm gay!" he yelled and kicked his leg into the air.
Jakens jaw dropped.
What did you think. Comon. You loved it. You thought it was the funniest thing ever. Right. Oh. I'm wrong. You hated it. Well guess what lil mister. I think that you hated it so much that you love it. Am I right. Comon let me gather my victory. Huh. You know you love me. Well. We can only right when my sis Jess is here, so chappy 2 will take a while. I'll leave you in suspense. Think about it. PEACE LOVE AND NO WAR!
