Revenge

Summary: The six human souls, the weapons found along the way, the way the human souls retaliated, the reason Frisk climbed Mt. Ebott… They were all connected. Genocide run and normal-pacifist run boss spoilers. Second person POV.

Disclaimer: Toby fox is the main man (and the annoying dog) behind the genius.


Prologue: Frisk's reasons


You were the last one.

Every single one of them was gone.

Not dead, you were sure. Not at home, and definitively not at school. Not at the park with the brand new swings or your favorite movie cinema with the broken back door that let all of you sneak in without paying or the corner store with the nice lady that gave you free candy…

They were just…gone.

You were all alone now.

How did all of this even start? What caused all of this to happen? If you were the last one left, was it your entire fault? If it wasn't, then what did you take your anger out on? Who was to blame for all this? Was it G's overexcited hopes of fame and fortune? Was it his incredible ability to drag all of you into trouble at the smallest idea that'd pop inside his head? But wasn't it always an adventure? It never ended like this. It never ended up with all of 'us' splitting up…all of 'us' just…not being an 'us' anymore…

It couldn't have been Elizaveta. She never liked splitting up the group in the first place. But she was gone, just like G was… One day she was gone and your group got even smaller. Despite your efforts, you couldn't remember all that occurred. You were only six years old when she disappeared and couldn't remember very well what happened the day she left. You always thought she went to join G, that she went to bring him back and she was taking her sweet time scolding him like she usually did, but that didn't exactly explain why everyone else would look so sad whenever their names came up.

Soon afterwards, both their names were taboo.

Then there were five.


Nottis was next, you remembered that clearly. Nottis had been the second oldest out of all five of you. The only one older was Gabe, who was four whole months older than him and she never let him forget that. He liked to read a lot and always carried around that notebook of his where he wrote down everything and anything that caught his interest. It happened on a normal day. All five of you were at the park wasting time instead of being at school, like it normally went, when Nottis during a dare from Kii accepted to climb above the roof of the jungle gym. Now this normally wasn't a big deal, but Nottis was incredibly farsighted, and Kii dared him to leave his glasses behind.

Just as Nottis reached the top of the domed roof (gosh, it was so high up… you wondered if you'd ever get to see a view so high up like he was), on the ground besides you, Gabe carelessly leafed through Nottis prized notebook as she waited for Kii to stop bothering Nottis like she loved to do. It wouldn't be too long now; Kii was pouting claiming a bookworm like Nottis must've cheated somehow and Nottis just stared back with a grin, loving that he made her eat her words. Probably nothing would've happened had Nottis not proceeded to freak out so much from his place on the roof that he almost fell off and hurt himself.

Sometimes you wondered if it was a cruel prank planned by fate. Even with his horrible sight, he still somehow noticed Gabe reading his notes and freaked out. If he'd been oblivious, Gabe probably wouldn't have seen anything, and he wouldn't have acted on an impulse and he'd still be here with everyone else. Kii probably wouldn't have stuck her nose inside the notebook to see what Nottis wanted to keep secret. Kii probably thought it'd be something innocent, like Nottis' newest crush, or anything she could use to grab his attention and keep it on herself a little longer. You wondered if, all things considered, you'd still be together today if just something, anything, had changed slightly back then.

It was incredibly depressing that… it just didn't matter anymore.

Kii ran around the park reading aloud random passages from the notebook as Nottis tried and failed to catch up. Kii was always the athletic one because "books and Nottis are dumb, sports are better!" You, Gabe and Sonc just watched and laughed. Then Kii found one of his last entries. She read aloud Elizaveta and G's names. You heard Nottis mumble something under his breath as he gave up chasing Kii, who had also stopped dead in her tracks. Sonc and Gabe's eyebrows rose instantly, and all noise ended. The ensuing silence was suffocating. It felt like the whole world stopped turning.

No one was smiling anymore.

Next thing you knew Kii and Nottis started shouting at each other. Nottis was calling her a dumb monkey and Kii screamed back what was written down, as if the words were ammunition or curses of the highest order. You remembered small phrases here and there. "Elz and G", "Mt. Ebott", "Bring them back", "Long journey", "Prepare", "Apologize" and "Say goodbye".

You had heard of a mountain called Ebott before. It was often placed together with the phrase "never go to" right before it whenever you asked an adult about it. You never asked what was so bad about it, like you never asked why some words were bad or why taking candy from strangers was dangerous. It was probably another "grown up" thing, like why coffee was supposedly delicious or why it was bad to eat sugar before bedtime. There was even more screaming, especially when Sonc joined in the mess. It was making you upset… your head and ears hurt, your insides felt jumbled up and your eyes were feeling scratchy and moist against your will. You really didn't want to cry, didn't want to look even more like the baby of the group… Crying would just make everything worse, right? You felt Gabe give you a friendly pat on your head like she always did when you felt bad and proceeded to knock the other three's heads together when they wouldn't settle down when she asked them to. Nottis and Sonc shut up, grabbing their foreheads and wincing hard. Gabe never did that to you (because you were so "cute" and "well-mannered", which just made you feel even more like a baby), but it always looked like it'd hurt a whole lot. She always did this when everyone else got out of line and wouldn't calm down like civilized people. It almost worked this time as well, but Kii was extra livid. She was crying, too. She kept yelling Nottis was dumb for trying something so dangerous all alone without even thinking of taking her along. Gabe yelled at Kii to let it go, but Kii's words had made the bookworm want her to eat her words. He probably had misunderstood her, thinking she was admitting he'd never accomplish something so dangerous on his own, and Nottis never turned down a challenge…No matter how hard you tried, you'd never forget Nottis' next words.

"Just pretending they don't exist won't change anything! You just stay here and I'll bring them both back!"

He promptly turned around and ran out of the park. Nobody wanted to follow him; he probably wanted to be alone as he cooled down. He'd never get his parent's permission to go alone to Mt. Ebott and he'd be back to normal tomorrow morning when you all got together again.

You would never forget Nottis' words.

Because that was the last time you heard Nottis' voice.

Then there were four.


Sonc wasn't as dramatic. He was gone when you weren't looking; when you weren't expecting it.

It had been almost two days since Nottis left the park that afternoon and never came back. His parents didn't know what had happened and there had been many wanted posters and search parties around the city looking for him, and none of you had confessed the missing boy's plans to visit Mt. Ebott. It was wishful thinking, but you all hoped he hadn't gone through with his borderline suicidal mission to look for Elizaveta and G. The four of you always helped along in the search parties. Kii always pushed herself to the limit and stayed out long into the night until she was dragged back home kicking and screaming by her own parents. Gabe had told you Kii worked the hardest to not only make up for her last words to Nottis' but also to keep her mind off things. The more active she was with a clear goal in her head, the less the sadness and guilt would eat at her mind and conscience. Nobody was happy about your friend's disappearance. A week after he left, the search parties got smaller and people talked of giving up hope. Kii had locked herself up in her room for days when everybody else gave up, and she only returned going outside once Gabe suggested they keep looking closer to Mt. Ebott, if only to appease Kii. You learned of these search trips well after they happened. You weren't told and weren't allowed to wonder off so far without an adult with you.

Gabe probably wanted to keep you from harm and keep Kii from doing something equally stupid as Nottis had.

But it was no use. Even Kii could see it. It probably broke her heart to admit it out loud, but three weeks later, she suggested you all stopped. All of you had lost hope that you'd see your friend again…and the searches stopped completely.

A full month after Nottis had disappeared Sonc didn't meet up with you after his dance lessons like he always did and promised he would. In retrospect, you should've seen it coming. He wasn't his usual loud, obnoxious and mischievous self. Even when Nottis had disappeared, he hadn't changed; on the contrary, he had become more extreme, as if trying to keep everybody's spirits up. Lately you had seen him quietly stare off into space, not realizing himself he was doing it until you pulled on his shirt's sleeves to bring him back to earth. He'd always play it off and give you a soft flick on the forehead, saying you'd drop your guard like he had planned all along. You honestly thought he was being truthful…

When you, Gabe and Kii went to search for him hours past your usual meet-up time at his visual arts school, the teacher gave you three a note he left behind. She hadn't read it and was smiling brightly when you had asked if she had seen where Sonc went when classes were done. The young teacher had respected Sonc's privacy and handed you three the piece of paper just like he had left it. It was bare with only a single sentence written neatly in the center, amidst all the white.

"I promise I'll bring them all back."

That was the only time you remembered him break one of his promises.


Merely two weeks later, Kii had gone to your home and practically dragged you all the way to the bus stop at full speed, her hair tied up with brand new red ribbons in twin pigtails bouncing all over the place until she sat down next to you at the bus bench. She kept biting her thumb nail, looking at the end of the street for the specific bus she wanted to get you on, and before boarding the idea of talking apparently wasn't even a conscious thought in her head. On the long ride, she finally explained that Gabe called her and told her to take care of you until Gabe punched some sense into all their other friends and brought them back kicking and screaming if she had to. Every word felt like a dagger into your heart. Were you and Kii the only ones left from your circle of friends? You couldn't handle it if they left you all alone. You felt like crying but you wouldn't allow yourself to. Kii had a plan. She took you with her to look for Gabe before she did anything stupid and left you both…just like Sonc, Nottis, Elizaveta and G did.

You got off at the base of the mountain, which was boarded off with flimsy ropes tied to posts sticking straight up from the ground and warning signs. So this was the infamous Mt. Ebott. You couldn't even see the top with all the trees in the middle. This was where Gabe and the others went to? It looked huge… like a maze made by nature itself. This place probably didn't need more than those easy-to-ignore rope posts. Just looking up at the tall mountain from the bus summit makes you feel dread and apprehension. Just standing there made your previous determination to find Gabe waver.

Nearby you could see wanted posters on a wooden post to the side of the bus bench. One poster showed a boy with wavy and light brown hair, with some strands of hairs falling in front of cloudy glasses. His eyes looked blurry behind his thick glasses, but you knew by heart that his eyes were a lovely shade of blue. Kii's eyes were stuck on that particular poster. You recognized the look she was making. It was what Sonc explained as her 'brain-dead stare' before Gabe bonked him on the head and yelled at him not to give you the wrong idea. Gabe would then dreamily claim it was the look of a 'young girl in love', and that one day you'd fully understand.

Kii's green eyes were so watery and looked full of pain. You weren't sure if you ever wanted to understand.

Right next to the first poster was a slightly newer one of a black haired boy with a mischievous grin and shinning brown eyes, doing a 'thumbs up' sign at you. You remembered this photo from your school year picture and how angry the photographer got every time Sonc wouldn't follow rules and messed up his takes. They settled for this picture because it was the one that looked the best and lacked obscene gestures. Gabe had just left that morning, so you knew you wouldn't see a poster of her curly black hair that barely passed her chin and her almost black eyes, wearing her favorite bandana wrapped around her left arm.

You really hoped you'd see Sonc again, teaching you the new moves he learned at his visual arts school. You wanted Nottis to read you the comics on the newspaper (even though you were old enough to read them already) just before Kii would tease him and they'd chase each other around the park. You wanted Gabe to mess up your hair even when you complained that you had taken extra-long to get it all nice that morning.

You just wanted to see all your friends together again.

Sonc and Nottis' faces you recognized, but there were three other kids you couldn't. One poster had a very pretty looking girl with shiny blonde hair that passed her shoulders and chocolate eyes. She wore a small smile on her lips, but the way her eyes shined made you feel happy as well. Her poster was yellowed with age but you could still read the name below the photo: Paige. An even older poster, barely even legible showed an incredibly sepia-toned picture of what you guessed was a boy from the short hair they had. The only letter you could see of their name was a lower case 'r'. The last poster was a paper that looked almost completely yellow and eroded, even older than the previous one. Heck, it might've been an older version of the previous poster of the boy (?) you didn't recognize. The usually cheery blonde next to you looked even sadder looking at the three posters you had just observed.

"Gods, it's been so long… Elz…G…"

Those names hit you like a house of bricks. That meant… Your eyes swiveled back to the posters. You didn't even recognize Elizaveta. You had forgotten her real name was Paige. Heck, you couldn't remember why she had the nickname Elizaveta. And G… you couldn't even remember his face, much less his full name. You banished the thought of asking Kii for the answers to your burning doubts. Questions like that would probably make her feel worse, and she looked close enough to crying already.

Both of you climbed past the ropes and tried to make your way higher up the mountain. There was a pretty stable path part of the way up there, but eventually it started to fade from lack of use. If you had to guess, many people had come here drawn by the rumors before turning tail and running away. You couldn't blame them. The tall trees, the creepy howling of the wind, the unstable road… everything screamed "BAD TIME UP AHEAD."

You were climbing carefully for what felt like an hour and the top didn't look all that much closer. You honestly didn't want to reach the top. There were so many scary stories surrounding this place and every single one of your friends had disappeared coming up here. Could you both even reach Gabe on time? How long had it been since Kii's call with Gabe and your arrival here? What if something happened to you and Kii, too? What if there was something up there that ate kids, like those monsters from all those years ago before the Great War? Hadn't there been a report a good number of years ago from a village on the other side of the mountain that reported a monster that had killed a human before returning to the mountain top? This was crazy! You two were just little kids!

You tightly pulled the hem of Kii's shirt, stopping her in her tracks. She gazed back at you curiously, and saw the beginning of tears in your eyes before you could turn your face away fast enough. You saw her take a step back from the corner of your eyes, before she looked at the ground and whispered one of those words that Gabe would hit her on the head for saying. A moment later she kneeled before you and gently, more gentle than you had ever seen her do anything, wiped your eyes with her hands.

"Frisk, I want you to listen to me very carefully…" she started, making sure you were paying attention before continuing, "I want you to turn back and take the next bus home. Think you can do that for me?"

You let out a loud gasp, and quickly covered your mouth in response. The sun was starting to set and the shadows made it seem like maybe something would hear you both if you weren't careful with your volume. Even so, you were more scared by the thought of letting Kii go on alone. She was just twelve, what could she possibly do against a monster?! Monsters were tough and had scary powers that only left the option to destroy or banish them away. Nottis had read so once on his complex history books so it had to be true! Kii would be just as defenseless as an eight year old like you! Before you could even start to protest, Kii ruffled your hair and stuck her tongue out at you.

"Get real, Frisk. Nothing's gonna happen and you draggin' your heels would just get in my way. I can take care of myself," she briefly showed you the toy knife she carried around most of her life hidden inside her sock like she'd see on crime TV shows she liked to imitate, "And I ain't returnin' 'til I get Gabe, Sonc, and that stupid Nottis back. They probably found hidden treasure up there and stayed havin' the time of their lives without even thinkin' of us! The huge jerks!"

Crossing your arms as you mumbled, you glared at the ground. You were eight, but you weren't stupid. Kii was making all that up on the spot and you knew it. The exuberant girl gave an annoyed sigh and turned you around before pushing your back with the sole of her boot. She ignored the way you almost fell on your face and the angry "Hey!" you threw at her.

"See? Can barely walk without trippin'!" She put a hand on her shirt's breast pocket and placed a strip of paper she took out on your nose. Your hands shot up to catch it before it hit the floor. It was a bandage, still enclosed in its packet. It had a pretty picture of a yellow flower and you could tell it had goop inside. "It's a gift from Gabe. The sneaky thing left an envelope outside my door with my name and these inside," she tugged at one of her pigtails, mentioning the bright red ribbons she wore, "and another envelope with your name on it and that bandage design you like so much, so I'm guessing she knew all of this would happen…" Kii mumbled something about creepy kids with mind reading superpowers, "Use that if you fall and scrape your knee or something, I 'unno." Kii shrugged her shoulders, hands on her hips as she looked away. Every inch of her shouted the amount of self-confidence and determination she had in herself. "Worst comes to worst, it'll take me a bit longer than I thought to bring 'em back. Heck, when I come back we'll all go for butterscotch ice cream and make 'em pay for it all. That's your fave, right?" The blonde showed you her tongue again to shoo you off and turned around to keep climbing the mountain. You stayed rooted on your spot. You screamed at your legs to move move move she's getting away they're all getting away you'll never see her again never see them again if your legs won't move, but they felt like cinder blocks in an earthquake. They were shaking like crazy, but they'd crumble before they'd follow your command to follow the brave girl. Her figure was getting smaller and blurrier due to the trees and your tear-filled eyes.

With the last of your courage, you yelled at her, "Y-YOU BETTER C-COME BACK! W-WITH EVERYONE!"

You saw her turn around quite surprised. You were surprised as well. You'd never yelled before and you never thought you'd do so in such a creepy looking place. Still, you knew you wouldn't be able to look yourself in the mirror if you didn't say something to her. Kii smiled a huge grin and yelled back.

"OBVIOUSLY, DUMMY!" before she laughed out loud and continued climbing farther up the mountain.

With tears still in your eyes dangerously close to falling, you turned around and ran all the way back to the bus stop before you gave a sigh of relief and allowed yourself to cry. You bit the side of your palm as your shoulders shook. You couldn't stop the waterworks but at the very least you wouldn't heave for breath like a little child scared of the boogeyman. You'd show everyone how mature you were, and they'd be happy for you when they returned. You'd all go for ice cream and you'd get the biggest cone, and you'd play around in the park as Sonc pulled pranks, as Gabe sighed while she tried to hide her smile, as Kii would bother Nottis and as he'd act like he was above playing kid games with them. Even Elizaveta and G would come back! You'd ask Elizaveta where her nickname came from and you'd complement her pretty eyes and you'd apologize to G for forgetting his name and you'd make up on lost time! And, and! And things would be all right and normal again. You'd go back to how things were supposed to be.

Together.

You never saw any of your friends ever again.


Over the horizon, the summer sun was finally setting. It had to be well into the late evening now, but you had neither watch nor other means to be sure. It was windy, which did wonders for your sweat-covered skin, even if it'd most likely turn too cold for comfort the longer the day dragged on.

How many years had it been? Around three or so, right? It felt weird, an uncomfortable feeling mixing yesterday and forever ago. Not much had changed on the outside, but what had changed internally altered your life forever.

None of your friends ever returned. Days turned to weeks…months…and years. You felt it that very same day you saw Kii walk away. On the bus ride home, as you kept your eyes on the slowly retreating mountain, a feeling of despair you had never felt before in your eight years of life encompassed you. It crushed down on your spirits, your mind and your soul. It felt hard to breathe, and the rest of the day was a blur until you returned home to the waiting and incredibly worried arms of your mother. When she asked you where you had gone to, you couldn't help but lie. There was still hope, right? If you said anything and adults left to search for Kii, she'd have no time to get Gabe and the rest back. If you said anything, it would truly be over, and all of you would definitively never be together again. So you lied. You said Kii and you had gone meet up with Gabe at the park and you lost track of time.

Thinking back now, your mother had to know you were lying. Heck, it'd be hard not to. You were cold and shivering, feeling like a kicked puppy that'd lost all they cared for. Yeah, you weren't fooling anyone, especially not your mother.

Things had been pretty calm the next two days. You started to notice the changes on the third. More than once, you'd hear the voices of strangers at your house's front door from your room, and if you peeked out you would see your mother slowly get angrier as she talked with adults in blue uniforms. You had no idea who they were and why they were making your mother upset, but you didn't dare ask any questions. The scene almost became a normal occurrence for the next week or so. Only once did you catch a full part of your mother's arguments and felt everything make sense.

"Please understand. What if it was your own child? We need all the information we can g—"

"It's BECAUSE it's my child that I'm not letting you by. What do you hope to accomplish by interrogating an eight year old? These were close friends, not random strangers! You're not placing a step inside my house and cause even more grief for my child!"

Once you heard that, you ran inside your room and draped yourself in your bed's blankets, and slid inside the closet and just hid there. It never even crossed your mind, maybe because you were unconsciously repressing the fact your friends were popping out of your life left and right, but authorities would ask questions. Never had policemen asked you about G or Elz… or Nottis or Sonc, but now… you were the only one left. You were the only one who knew what happened to Gabe and Kii. You had seen news shows and Nottis had read newspaper clippings to you before. Investigations happened when people vanished. The previous times someone had disappeared Kii and the others were more than likely interrogated while you just continued your life, oblivious. You didn't notice the torrent of tears falling into the blanket you held onto like a lifeline. You really were nothing but a clueless baby. Even now you lacked the conviction, courage and determination to say or do anything. You just shook and cried.

When your mother found you and asked you what was wrong some time later, you lied again. You just had a scary nightmare.

She definitively knew you were lying. You never again heard her argue with the policemen inside your house.

A mere year later, everything changed yet again.

At nine years old, you could've been considered a weird kid. Always alone at the park as if waiting for somebody; skipping classes left and right; hardly talking to anyone ever… you knew other kids talked rumors behind your back. It became obvious when one of the rare days you attended school, you found the insides of your locker vandalized, and words like "witch", "cursed" and "creep" were inked into your books and other worthless possessions. Honestly, you couldn't care less what they thought. If you had to guess, "the weird silent kid that spent time cutting school with the missing children could curse all those who came near" was more than likely the nicest version of the rumors floating about you. You felt like attending school even less. The straw that broke the camel's back came one of the few days you still attended class. Some obnoxious brats from your age group were gossiping about you literally behind your back. You didn't know if they did it on purpose or if they didn't know the concept of "inside voice" but you could hear every word those idiots spewed out. Apparently, you were right. The real rumors about you had vocabulary colorful enough that'd make a tourist wonder what kind of education these kids were getting. You didn't mind, but when the target turned from you to your friends, you had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop from jumping at all of them.

When they changed topics again and started making colorful comments about your mother and how poorly she raised you on her own, even a monster itself would've cowered at the ferocity with which you attacked your classmates.

With no regret from your actions, the school expelled you due to your horrible attendance record, your abysmal grades, and your incredibly violent behavior. Good riddance. You didn't need to waste time in an over-glorified jail with a bunch of immature brats that would badmouth all those you cared about. Your mother had been disappointed at what happened and decided to homeschool you, and with this came the biggest decision you had been asked to make in your life.

Your mother had asked you if you wanted to move from this city.

That had never even been an option in your mind before. Was that a thing that could happen? But what of Kii and the others when they returned? If you weren't there, how would you get the news of their return? But there really wasn't anything left for you should you stay. A new place, new sights, new people… it all sounded wonderful and terrifying at the same time. It took you many months to decide on your answer. With every day that passed, the part of your heart that waited for the day everyone would return shrunk more and more. It had been well over a year now. You weren't dumb. The chances they'd come back were slimmer than Sonc ignoring a "kick me" sign. But… just up and leaving… Wasn't that betraying their memory? The final step to admitting they were gone?

The decision was obvious the day you saw a letter addressed to your mom half hidden under many boring looking papers on her desk when you entered her room to look for a pen. It caught you attention because the sunlight entering from the window reflected a bit of the paper onto the walls. The whole quality was on another level from normal paper. It felt harder, it had nice embroidery on the margins, and though it had many words you couldn't yet understand, you could get the main topic behind it. Your mom had the option to chase a better career in another city. Instantly, you knew you had to leave. If not to ensure you could move on with your own life, then to ensure your mother had a brighter future.

A nice change of pace was what you both needed. A new setting, a new atmosphere, a new reason to get up each morning… A new home, bursting with the possibilities for new and happier memories. And everything was fine.

That was a lie.

But everything would be fine. You said goodbye inside your heart to the good memories you had made in this city and readied to move to a new chapter in your life at your new home. It had hurt. It hurt so much. Every packed box felt like a nail on a coffin, and every day the moving date came closer, your heart felt like it was being wrung by thorny vines. You didn't even deserve the luxury of crying and getting rid of your guilt. Even if it was for your mother's sake, you were betraying the trust you had in your friends. You were accepting they'd never return, that you wouldn't wait for them. They left so you could all be together again, but you couldn't even do something similar. You would just run away. Packed away nicely in a moving van away from home, just like your possessions. You absentmindedly stared out the window as you left Ebott behind, tears falling silently and your body too tired to care.

At your new town, everything reminded you of the life you left behind and tried to detach yourself from. You tried to put on a brave front for your mother. She was busy enough with her new job, she didn't need to worry about your thoughts and dilemmas. You did your best to cause as little trouble as possible. You went to a new school and paid attention and did your homework. Some of your new classmates found your name weird, but they hadn't bullied you like the kids at Ebott had. At your last school, your friends and you often skipped classes due to how annoying the students bullied all of you about your weird names... and just like that your friends came back to your mind once more. Everything you saw reminded you of them. You'd see an article with difficult words and you'd think of Nottis and how'd he'd sit and explain new words to you, persevering until you finally understood. You saw a drama on TV and recalled how Kii loved to watch them as she patiently waited alone in her home for her parents to return from work. You'd listen to a new song on the radio and imagined what dance Sonc would come up for it. You saw big families walk down the street from your apartment window and you'd remember Gabe fuming about being the youngest of her five brothers and how they'd treat her like a baby, even as they thought her how to fight with her gloves. You even remembered things about Paige and G when you weren't expecting to. You'd stare at the pastries at a bakery window and images of an older girl with chocolate-colored eyes offering you a new treat would flash in your mind. Another time, you had seen a classmate dress up as a cowboy for Halloween and an image of a boy in a cowboy hat and a wide smile that loved to ruffle your hair would come unbidden. You couldn't help but feel incredibly homesick for an empty house you didn't live in anymore in a town devoid of your friends. The more you tried not to think about them, the more memories would assault you, as if punishing you for running away. Still, you tried your best to smile widely for your mom and help around the house, doing everything possible to distract you. Silent nights in your room crushed you with the heavy words and emotions inside your clouded mind, never moving on from your past, yet hoping you'd be able to one day.

On the outside, life was incredibly normal for the next two years. You were… just there. Living life as normally as you could, even if 'normal' hadn't been a word used to describe you before. It wasn't a radical change like you thought it would be, but you were sure with time, patience, and a lot of love, you'd be able to move on. You just had to. Surely you wouldn't spend the rest of your life feeling your sins on your back, right? So you kept on keeping on for the next two years.

After those two years, the accident happened. Your mother had left to buy some groceries and never came back. That moment after the officers came to your door and asked you to identify the bloody and lifeless corpse of your mother after recovering her body from the scene of a hit and run...

That was the first time in your short life you felt what real despair was like.

Returning to that dark and empty apartment felt like dying and being stuck in hell. No yells would form… No tears would fall… No sunlight would enter through the binds.

You were completely and utterly alone. You shuffled your feet forward in a daze, opening the door to your mother's room. Your feet gave out the moment your hand touched the covers and you fell onto her bed. It still smelled like the strawberry scented shampoo she used that morning. You whispered her name. You kept repeating her name aloud to yourself. Soon, you also muttered out Kii's name. Then Gabe's. Sonc's, Nottis', Paige's, G's… You pleaded with your small, broken voice for someone to come back... for anyone to stay with you and not leave you alone...

But nobody came.


Here you were now, a mere month later, where arguably everything started. Boy you were quite high up. You were even higher than Nottis had been on the top of the domed jungle gym's roof. After climbing up all this way, the tall trees, unstable pathway and howling wind didn't seem scary anymore. Nothing was even a fraction of how terrifying it had been three years ago. Then again, you had so much more to lose back then.

The sight of the sunset from the top of Mt. Ebott certainly was a sight to behold.

It did nothing to shift the feelings inside your heart.

For the first time in this last month, your surroundings matched how you felt inside. All alone in the world, with no one waiting for you anywhere, while life and time kept moving and leaving you behind. Throwing a glance behind you, the last leg of your journey glanced back. At the top of this mountain lied a peculiar cave formation. Years ago, perhaps even last month, looking at the sinister looking cave top that matched the yawning jaw of a monster might've made you uncomfortable at best. Now you found it strangely comforting. Pushing forward, the last rays of sunlight made the footing harder to traverse the deeper you entered. Before long, you found an immense chasm in which no amount of light could reach its depths. If the cave was the mouth of the monster, was it safe to assume this hole before you was the throat? Was there a bottom? Was the belly a one-way express to the afterlife?

Would you find your mother and your friends in there?

Blinking slowly, you sat on the edge of the abyss as it stared back. You thought of those who had seen this sight before you. Had they hesitated when they saw the cave opening? Did they see this and continued forward, believing there was something down there? Could there really be a world down there where they continued their lives, unable to get out and come for you? Would you finally see them if you let go and slid forward?

Were they really there, or were you bringing your hopes up, were you trying to defrost your heart, only for the looming cave bottom to crush it along with every bone in your body?

They weren't dead, were they? You were so sure.

As you let go and fell, the wind whipping your hair and clothes around as gravity pulled you to the hole's bottom, you didn't know what you wanted to believe anymore.