Revy wasn't very happy. Honestly, she never was. But this was a very special case.
When Mister Chang contacted Lagoon Company roughly two weeks ago, he wasn't giving them a job. He was giving them a warning. Revy dropped her cigarette from her mouth when Dutch told her what was about to happen to Roanapur. Revy ran up to Rock's bedroom, broke open the door with a forceful kick and threw off his bed sheets.
"What the… Revy? What's going on?" Rock asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes as Revy dragged him from the bed.
"Roanapur's going to get fucking bombed you jackass! We need to get the fuck outta here!" Revy shouted as she dragged Rock down the stairs. "Where the hell is Benny?!"
"I got him." Dutch said as calmly as possible. "Revy, load up the boat. We're leaving in five minutes!"
And leave they did, and just in time. As Lagoon Company's torpedo boat roared out of the harbour, the first bombs began to fall on Roanapur. Revy looked back at the city's destruction, watching buildings collapse and bombs explode. Even the Rip-Off Church wasn't spared, the intricate stained glass windows of the church shattering in a violent explosion of orange.
"You alright Revy?" Rock asked as Revy put a new cigarette between her teeth.
"Why the hell did this happen?" she thought aloud, watching the blue waves roll into the battleground Roanapur was becoming.
Benny climbed up the steps from below deck and stared at Roanapur's destruction along with Rock and Revy.
"Hell of a thing. I always wondered if this would happen. Guess I didn't want to be right." Benny sighed, a cigarette between his lips.
"Any idea what might have provoked this?" Rock asked.
"I think we all know why the US is cracking down on anyone that so much as looks at them funny. Ever since the World Trade Centre came tumbling down Roanapur's been second at the top of America's hit list." Benny theorised.
"The first being the fuckers that crashed the planes into 'em." Revy spat. "Remember when the Taliban tried to set up in Roanapur?"
"Oh yeah. Hotel Moscow gave them one hell of a thrashing." Benny chuckled. "Whoever was dumb enough to try and set up in Roanapur had clearly never heard of the place before."
"Dirty fucking Talibs had sand for brains and AK's for arms." Revy snorted. "Now they've caused Roanapur to be destroyed. There were some damn good bars there."
Rock looked out across the waves at the quickly shrinking city, past the Buddha statue at the entrance to Roanapur. It seemed that the US had used it as target practice, as bullet holes now riddled the once sacred statue. Rock sighed and hung his head.
"Well that's that then. Now where are we supposed to go?" Rock asked. Revy and Benny just looked at him with confused glances. "We have nowhere to go. Nothing to return to. Roanapur's been destroyed, and with it our home. So what now?"
Revy shrugged. "I dunno. You're the smart guy with the plans."
"We could try going somewhere normal. Try to live out lives as regular citizens for a change." Benny suggested. "I'm feeling that the sunny beaches of Australia might be suitable."
"Hell no. Too many stinking tourists in stupid fucking t-shirts. It's like that entire country is New York. Not to mention it's impossible to get away with anything there. The cops in Australia have a boner for upholding the law any way possible."
"It's not like we have much choice. There's not many islands nearby and I don't think we have that much fuel left in our old tub. We might as well just visit." Rock said.
Just as Revy was about to argue back, she saw something out of the corner of her eye.
"The fuck is a US coastguard boat doing here?" She asked, peering into the distance. As the boat approached, she saw several men and a woman in suits and dark sunglasses.
"Is that… No, it couldn't be." Benny said, peering over the side.
Revy ran across the metal deck of the torpedo boat and made a beeline for the helm. Bursting through the metal door, she saw Dutch just getting off the phone.
"Dutch! There's a boat coming straight at us from portside!" she shouted.
"I know Revy, they want to board and talk to us." Dutch said, cutting the engine. "And there's someone on that boat who wants to talk to you especially."
"Damn it Dutch, what the fuck are you doing?!" Revy shouted, pulling out one of her cutlasses. "Either you start up this fucking boat again or I put a bullet in your brain!"
Dutch turned around, his eyes burning behind his green sunglasses. "Revy, do you remember what I told you the last time you threatened me like that?"
Revy stopped and tensed before relaxing and holstering her cutlass. "Fine Dutch. I'll go talk with the nice men." She grumbled.
*v*v*v*
*v*v*v*
When the entire crew of the Black Lagoon had assembled on the deck of their torpedo boat, the US coastguard boat drew up beside them and a gangplank thudded down. From the other boat the suits marched onto the torpedo boat and the woman stepped across, a faint smile on her lips.
"Heya Revy, how's it hanging?" she asked, waving her hand.
"Who the fuck are you?" Revy spat.
"You don't recognise me?" she laughed slightly. "Alright, I think these might help."
She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a pair of pink sunglasses and put them on.
"And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them." She proclaimed loudly before chuckling to herself. "Recognise me yet?"
Revy's jaw dropped, as did Rock and Benny's. While Dutch looked surprised, he hid it relatively well, only widening his eyes behind his sunglasses.
"Eda?! Fuck, Eda? Is that really you?" Revy shouted.
"What, you didn't really think I was a nun, did you?" she grinned wolfishly.
"Yeah but… fuck, you're with the CIA?!" Revy shouted again.
"So the truth is revealed at last." Dutch said.
"Not to interrupt this touching reunion, but why are you here?" Rock asked. "I can't expect you to be here just because you want to reminisce about the old days."
"Rocky's right as always." Eda snorted. "I'm actually here in regards to your extensive criminal records. See, my bosses in the US have taken a particular interest on exterminating anything they consider a threat to their way of life ever since the tragedy at the Twin Towers."
"So you're here to kill us?" Dutch asked, his hand creeping slightly towards his revolver.
"Actually, I'm here to make a deal with you. I can destroy your entire criminal records. All those counts of murder, theft, arson, burglary, destruction of property, smuggling, jaywalking… the list goes on." She said.
"And what's the catch?" Benny asked, adjusting his glasses.
Eda smiled and waved her hand slightly. "Y'all just have to work for the CIA now."
Revy blinked twice and Benny looked like someone had just shown him a very inappropriate picture of his grandmother. Rock meanwhile was still thinking.
"What do we have to do?"
"Rock, are you accepting her offer you bastard?!" Revy shouted, grabbing Rock by his tie. The suit's hands went into their coat pockets for their pistols, but Eda held up a hand to signal them to wait.
"I'm not accepting just yet. I'm just asking her what kind of work we'd be doing if we joined up with the CIA." Rock told her. Revy cursed and spat before releasing Rock, who straightened his tie.
"Well since you asked, we need your help to locate your former clients." Eda explained. "The CIA has managed to track down Hotel Moscow and is still in the middle of 'negotiations', as are the Columbian cartels and the Italian Mafia. All that's left is the Triad boss of Roanapur. That's where you four come in."
"So you want us to look for him?" Dutch asked.
"Sort of. Chang's disappeared off the face of the earth apparently as have the other bosses of the Triad. Not using their old hideouts, not even their goons know where they went. But there is one person who does." Eda smiled.
"So you want us to find him?" Benny asked.
"Correct. He was last seen in Scotland after moving without any particular reason from his cosy home in Australia's Sunshine Coast. He now lives in Arbroath according to recent information, where he's taken over a post office. Funnily enough even though he once lived in Roanapur, we can't find a speck of criminal activity on this guy, even though the IRA have been offering to cut him a drug deal for ages. Guess it comes from being married." Eda chuckled.
"Wait, who is this guy?" Revy asked. "He sounds familiar."
"Oh, I think you know him well. You did punch his lights out right before he left." Eda said.
"You're gonna have to narrow it down a little sister." Revy deadpanned.
"His name is Daniel Harkness. I think you once knew him as Hermes." Eda said, trying to hide a grin when Revy stared at her like a cow looks at an oncoming train.
"That fucking kid."
*v*v*v*
*v*v*v*
Daniel was enjoying being in Scotland. His new company was doing relatively well, and his family had adjusted well to the move. Even though he'd been contacted several times by the Irish Rebel Army to do well paying criminal jobs like running drugs, he didn't find it hard at all to decline their offers. Though why they were contacting him when his business was in Scotland he had no idea.
He was sitting in his office, finishing up for the night. He looked at the picture of his family and smiled. Then he noticed an odd little box sitting on his desk addressed to him with no return address. Carefully opening it, he was startled to see two gleaming silver pistols with pearl handles with two Chinese dragons carved into them. Accompanying them was a note.
'Hey kid, how've you been? Heard about the nasty business with the IRA. Hopefully these will be very useful to you just in case. I just got a new pair and these were taking up a little space on the gun rack. Enjoy!
-Chang'
"That man will never change." Daniel sighed, turning the pistols over in his hands. Maybe Chang was right. It really did seem that he was looking out for him. Though why on god's green earth would he send Daniel his prized twin pistols?
Daniel shook his head before tucking the empty guns down the back of his pants where he got up from his desk and headed towards the door of the small office, moving carefully around the cardboard boxes and packages that had piled up, forming a small wall of brown cardboard, tape and heavy paper. As he left the office he looked around the old post office he took over. The walls were adorned with relatively old and slightly peeling wallpaper and rows of pigeon holes lined the walls filled with letters and small parcels. He saw one more person, busily sorting letters. An old man with greying hair and a bushy moustache, his uniform as neat and pressed as the day Daniel gave it to him.
"You're staying late, Barney?" Daniel asked.
"Yessir. Don't want to leave this all for the young'uns in the morning." He smiled, showing his yellowed teeth. "Oh, and there's something I wanted to talk to you about privately."
"What is it?" Daniel asked.
Barney shuffled to his desk and opened up the drawer, revealing an opened package. He took it out and handed it to Daniel.
"Those bastards playing IRA tried to blow us up again. I remember when they were actually rebelling against something, not just thugs using the name as a cover." He said.
"Glad I picked you up off the street. You've saved my bacon more times than I care to count." Daniel chuckled, turning over the defused bomb in his hands. "Say, where did you learn how to defuse a bomb anyway?"
"Same place I got fired from, the real IRA. After some bright spark decided on bombing Ogmah, I didn't really find any more reason to stick around. So I left, taking with me nothing but the clothes on me back and the virginity of my CO's girlfriend." Barney chuckled.
Daniel let slip a small chuckle as well. When he first arrived in Arbroath and bought up the post office, he'd found Barney begging outside in nothing but a tweed driver's cap and ruined military fatigues. But instead of shooing him away, he'd brought him inside, gave him a new uniform and put him to work sorting the mail. Barney had been one of his best friends ever since.
"Well, I don't want to keep the missus waiting. I'll see you tomorrow Barney." Daniel said, heading for the door.
When Daniel left the post office and started walking down through the cool night air, he was almost blinded when bright headlights flashed from the end of the street. Daniel gasped when a jack boot was forced into his gut and a black bag was forced over his head. Then he felt something slam into the back of his head as he fell to the cobblestone streets, blacking out.
*v*v*v*
*v*v*v*
Revy decided she didn't like Scotland. It was cold, it was damp and the people talked funny. Since she now technically worked for the CIA, Eda had more or less forced the whole of the now officially disbanded Lagoon Company to get black suits and matching sunglasses. Revy was still allowed to keep both her cutlasses however, so she was relatively pleased by that. Revy, Eda, Dutch and Rock were driving through the small Scottish town they thought Daniel was located in with Dutch at the wheel. Benny had been shelved for monitoring duty in a nondescript van somewhere outside the airport.
"Where the hell are we going to find 'im?" Revy asked, scratching her hair.
"His home isn't that far from here." Eda said, looking around the small town. "Dutch, we're here."
Dutch pulled up outside a white clay walled house, its yellow thatched roof looking down on the front garden filled with roses and other pungent flowers.
"Looks like an old grandma's house." Revy snorted.
"Alright, let's go get some info from this guy." Dutch said, straightening his new tie as he exited the car.
The others followed suit as Eda knocked on the door to the house. The door was answered by a small girl with bright orange hair and a hopeful expression. She was so pale and freckled that Revy almost mistook her for a giant porcelain doll. When she saw who was at the door, her expression dampened a little.
"Who are you?" she asked, her curiosity showing through her unbearably blue eyes.
Eda knelt down to talk with the young girl. "We'd like to talk to your Dad. Is he here?"
The young girl shook her head. "Daddy never came home from work yesterday. Then Mam found a letter and started crying." She said sadly.
"Can you go get her? We need to talk to her." Eda said. As the young girl left to search for her mother, Revy started groaning.
"That god damn brat had a kid? Jesus Christ, she's so precious I think I'm gonna puke." She said, spitting onto a rosebush.
A woman with somehow brighter orange hair than the young girl arrived at the door, wiping tears from her face with a handkerchief. "Hello?"
"Molly Harkness, I'm with the CIA." Eda said, holding out her badge. "It's about the disappearance of your husband, Daniel Harkness."
"Do you know where he is?" she asked hopefully.
"No, but that's what we're here to find out." Eda said. "Rock, do your thing."
Rock cleared his throat and stepped into the house. "Miss Harkness, I'm sure the disappearance of your husband has caused some grief, but if you could tell us everything you know about what might have provoked his kidnapping, then it would be a great help to us."
"I… I think I may need a wee glass of Bacardi first." She said. Revy's ears immediately perked up at the mention of her favourite fire water.
"I think I might give this investigation thing a try." Revy said before Eda grabbed her by the collar.
"Oh no you don't. This matter calls for Rock's delicate touch and lack of obvious insanity. You just stick to shooting things really well." Eda said.
"But there's nobody to shoot in this fuckin' fog town!" Revy shouted.
"I have a feeling there will be sooner than you think." Eda said, carefully looking around behind her sunglasses.
Rock was sitting inside the richly carpeted living room, enjoying the feel of the supple leather armchairs. Molly sat across on another armchair, gulping down a glass of the strong alcohol.
Molly gasped before setting the glass down. "Now, what did you need to know?"
"Anything that can help us find your husband's captors." Rock explained.
Molly sighed before pulling out a crumpled note from a drawer nearby. "Last night a letter arrived. It was from the IRA. They demanded a ransom for my husband's safe return. They wanted legal ownership of my husband's business, the post office a few blocks from here." She explained, handing the letter to Rock. "They said that if I tried to call the authorities then they'd try to kidnap Holly next! I couldn't do that to our child."
Rock studied the letter and nodded. "Thank you Miss Harkness. Is there anything else?"
"No, but there's someone else who might be able to help you. One of Daniel's workers, a man named Barney was there the night Daniel got kidnapped. He might be able to give you a few more details." She said.
"Thank you. We'll contact you again if we find your husband." Rock said, standing up from the plush leather chair and walking to the doorway. "By the way, this is a very nice house. You must be lucky to have it."
"Daniel bought it not long after we moved here. He said that a lot of money had come to him from a deceased family member, and he'd always wanted to see what my hometown looked like." Molly explained.
"I see. It looks like it cost a million dollars. Maybe two." Rock thought aloud. "Stay safe."
As Rock left the house, he found the rest of the group arguing with a shabby looking old man.
"I think I've found a lead." Rock said, attracting Eda's attention.
"What have you got?" she asked.
"While Molly doesn't know where Hermes went, there's someone who does." Rock explained. "Apparently his name is Barney and he works at the post office not far from here. If we want to find Daniel, we should look for Barney."
"Really? 'Cause this old fuck keeps telling us he's Barney." Revy said, jerking her thumb at the old man.
"You mind your tongue missy. Yeah I know who kidnapped Daniel. But more importantly, I know where they took him." Barney said gravely.
*v*v*v*
*v*v*v*
Daniel didn't like the fact that a bag had been put over his head. Nor did he like the fact that he'd been beaten black and blue with what felt like the butt of a rifle. Fortunately, he'd managed to loosen the ropes just enough to get his hands out from behind his back. Taking the bag off his head, he looked around the room he'd found himself in.
Military posters lined the walls as well as banners proudly displaying the Irish Rebel Army's initials. Returning to the idea of freeing himself, Daniel turned to his feet but groaned in frustration. He'd been manacled to the chair. A small comfort was that he still felt Chang's twin pistols down the back of his pants, but they were both empty.
"Damn it. Where's a bobby pin or a paperclip when you need one?" Daniel grumbled as he looked around the room some more.
On a bench were several things that Daniel could use if he managed to get himself off the chair. A few guns, a combat knife and plenty of grenades and bombs, but no lock picks. Not even a key.
"Well this sucks for me." Daniel grumbled as the door creaked open again.
*v*v*v*
*v*v*v*
It had taken them about a day, but now Revy, Dutch and Eda were standing outside a run-down old apartment block in the middle of Ireland, their bright red GTO just behind them.
"This is really where they're keeping the brat?" Revy asked, spitting the cigarette from her mouth.
"This is only an outpost. It's supposed to be inconspicuous." Eda said, sliding a magazine into her Glock.
"This whole thing smells of a trap." Dutch said, loading up his revolver.
Rock sighed behind the wheel of the car. "Be that as it may, Barney is the only lead we have. Besides, I doubt we could stop Revy from going in anyway."
"Alright Rock, I think we're ready. At the first sign of any reinforcements, hit the horn and start the engine. Benny will contact you if there's any trouble over the radio signals we're monitoring." Eda said. "Alright team, move out!"
"About fucking time!" Revy cackled, drawing out her twin cutlasses. "Come on assholes, let's rock and roll!"
Revy charged forward and broke down the door of the old hotel with a kick of her combat boot as assault rifle fire started to fill the air.
"God damn it Revy." Dutch grumbled as he and Eda followed her in.
Revy twirled around through the run down hotel, balaclava wearing members of the IRA firing at her. Screams and cries of pain accompanied the splattering of blood, gun smoke and flying lead in the room.
Several hallways away, Daniel was getting the stuffing beaten out of him by a burly man in military fatigues.
"This'll teach you to ignore the IRA!" he shouted. "Didn't think we were that much trouble, huh? You fuckin' forgot Ireland's right next to fuckin' Scotland!" The man's ears perked up when he heard screams and pained shouts that weren't coming from Daniel and started cursing.
"What the hell is going on?" Daniel coughed.
"None of your business ya convict bastard!" the man spat before grabbing his assault rifle. "I'll be back to finish you off later."
As he left, Daniel groaned and started working at the ropes around his arms again when he heard the gunfire again, but a lot closer this time? Was it the police? No, there'd be more shouting and demands for surrender. Then a terrible thought emerged in his mind.
What if it was someone from Roanapur?
There was only three groups that Daniel could think of that would be able to kill so many people so quickly and efficiently. Hotel Moscow, the Triad and…
The door burst in and Daniel's worst fears were confirmed.
"Oh fuck, not you again." Daniel said, feeling a stone the size of a small planet drop in his stomach.
"Hey brat, staying outta trouble?" Revy grinned, both smoking pistols in her hands.
"What do you want? Can't you see I've just had the crap beaten out of me?" Daniel spat, feeling blood run down his face.
"We just want some information outta you, that's all." Revy said, planting her blood soaked boot on Daniel's thigh.
"Like I'm going to say anything to you." Daniel growled.
"I was hoping you were gonna say that." Revy purred, her fists tightening. "Let's see if I can give you a bruise like the one before!"
Just as she reached back her fist to punch Daniel viciously, Eda's hand grabbed her fist and pushed her aside.
"Stand down Revy, now's not the time for psychotic violence." She said, freeing Daniel.
Daniel looked at the woman untying him with a confused expression before coming to a realisation. "Wait a minute, is that you Sister Eda? What are you-"
"I'm not a Sister anymore kid, I'm an agent of the CIA. Your family has been quite worried about you." She said after finishing freeing Daniel and helping him to stand up.
"Not that I don't appreciate you saving me, but what is she doing here?" Daniel asked, shooting a venomous glance at Revy which was returned by an aggressive middle finger.
"I'm sure Revy's made it fairly clear that we need information." Eda said. "It's been rumoured that you know the whereabouts of one Mister Chang of the Sun Yee On Triad, is that correct?"
Daniel gulped before responding. "Yeah, that's true. The last time I saw him he was in Australia. The Gold Coast in Queensland."
A loud honking sounded through the air as Dutch burst into the room.
"Eda, Revy! We've gotta go!" Dutch shouted.
"Wait, Dutch? Is everyone from Roanapur just turning up in Ireland?" Daniel shouted.
"God I hope so, it would make my job much easier!" Eda said, reaching into her coat and tossing a pistol to Daniel. "You can take care of yourself, now we're outta here!"
"Wait, what?! Aren't you going to take me to safety?" Daniel shouted.
"What the hell do you think we are, the cops? You're on your own brat!" Revy cackled as she ran from the room.
Daniel stared after them all as they ran from the room before shaking his head and cocking the pistol. "At least they were nice enough to clear a path."
As Daniel ran back through the emptied base, he saw everything he had hoped to leave behind in Roanapur. Blood. Bullets. The stink of gunpowder. Death. He felt sick but he kept running. Daniel didn't dare stay any longer than he had to.
Daniel burst out onto the street just as the red GTO of Lagoon Company screamed away. He looked up and down the street before running after it. As he rounded a corner, he was halted by the screeching brakes of an unmarked van. The door slid open and Daniel's mouth dropped open.
"How have you been, Daniel? Such a shame the CIA decided to abandon you. Don't worry though, we always help our former employees."
*v*v*v*
*v*v*v*
Revy, Eda, Dutch, Benny and Rock were sitting in the observation van they had parked at the airport. Revy had a glass of Bacardi, Benny was on a laptop monitoring the internet while Dutch was poring over various folders of information and Eda was on the phone with her superiors back in the CIA.
"So Chang's in Australia? Looks like we were fairly close before." Dutch snorted.
"If we didn't fucking run into Eda then we might have been able to get a slice of that sweet action too. Fucking damn it." Revy spat before taking another swig of her Bacardi.
Eda finished on her phone before dropping it onto a bench. "Looks like we're going on another plane ride. The bosses upstairs say we're the only ones free at the moment. We're going to Australia."
Benny's eyes shifted to the new message he received and opened it up. His eyes widened as he signalled the others to come over. "Hey guys, you might want to come look at this. I just received it from the top. Looks like they got some mew info just after Eda got off the line."
"What is it?" Eda asked as she looked over. "Well son of a bitch…"
"What's going on?" Rock asked.
"Looks like someone's gotten to Chang before we could." Eda said, pointing at the screen.
The email Benny received had a news page showing that apparently Mister Chang had been arrested by Chinese investigators and taken back to Hong Kong.
"Fuck! Boss got arrested?" Revy shouted, upsetting her strong drink.
"Think it's the Triad pulling a fast one?" Dutch asked.
"More than likely." Eda said. "No way they'd find him otherwise."
"So what are we going to do now?" Rock asked. "Have we got any orders from the CIA?"
"As a matter of fact, we have." Eda said, checking the end of the email. "We'll all be going off to Hong Kong where Lagoon Company will be back in business."
*v*v*v*
*v*v*v*
It had been a week since Rock, Eda, Revy and the others visited Molly, and she still had found no sign of Daniel. While Molly was distraught, Holly was easily twice as upset.
The two sat at their dinner table, staring down their meal going cold wondering when Daniel would return.
"Mam? Why has Da disappeared?" Holly asked suddenly.
"I don't know. He never said anythin' before about the IRA or anythin' else." Molly sighed, wiping a tear from her eye before crossing the room and cradling Holly in her arms. "Oh Holly, what are we going to do?"
Holly was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Remember when we lost Mister Pookie at the airport?" she asked. "We looked for him for hours and then we found him."
Molly was speechless for a moment before realising what her daughter had said. "You want to go look for your father?"
Holly nodded with a determined face and Molly cracked a weak smile.
"Well okay then. And as soon as we find your father, he's got a wee bit of explainin' to do." Molly said. "Holly, could you give Barney a call and tell him to come over later today?"
"Yes mam!" Holly said before running off to the telephone.
Molly watched her child run to the phone before striding off to find her old equipment. She climbed the stairs to Daniel and her bedroom before dragging a long crate out from under their large double bed. Lifting the lid, she saw her old SA80 assault rifle and its accompanying grenade launcher attachment laying disassembled over her military fatigues.
"Been a long time before I've clapped eyes on this kit." She sniffed. "Just hope I won't have to again after this."
