Paige

Paige never imagined that she would be a widow at twenty-four. She had been married to her husband, Kieran, for less than two years when he was killed in a traffic accident on his way to work early one morning.

She had met Kieran when they were sophomores at Ohio State. The two had been set up on a blind date through a mutual friend. After that first date they were nearly inseparable. They moved in together the summer before their junior year and Kieran proposed a year later. The two had a small wedding with close family and friends the June after they graduated from OSU.

Paige and Kieran moved to Cleveland that July because Kieran had been offered a job in IT at a small community college. Paige hadn't pinned down a job, but they weren't concerned because Kieran would make enough for them to live modestly for a while. Paige had majored in athletic training—eventually she wanted to go back to school in order to get an MS in athletic training with an emphasis on sports medicine.

The November after they moved to Cleveland, Paige was hired by a local high school to supervise their in-school suspension and to coach the girls' swim team. Prior to Paige, the swim coaches had always been rookie teachers who did not know the difference between the back- and the breaststroke. Paige had been a competitive swimmer since childhood, so the school was happy to find a coach who had a vague knowledge of the sport.

That first swim season had been rough. Most of the girls were unregimented and had very little respect for authority. Several of the 'experienced' girls quit the team after they realized that Paige wasn't going to put up with their bad habits and disrespect. The team that was left was mostly freshman and sophomores with very little experience. She was tough, but fair as long as the girls put forth their best efforts. The girls only won two meets that first year, but it was two more than they had won the previous year.

Her second year at the school was better. The returning girls had clearly trained between seasons and many had made remarkable improvements in their times. They were also able to provide much needed leadership to the new girls who joined the team. That year they had actually won more than half of their meets and a few of the girls had made it to state finals. Paige and the team had been very excited about what they could potentially achieve during her third year.

Unfortunately, Paige didn't get her third year with the school. Kieran had been killed in early July. Everything was a blur after she was called to identify his body. His family had been very helpful—they arranged his funeral and helped with the subsequent legal issues that arose.

Paige felt completely unprepared to go back to work in August. She was still struggling with basic day-to-day tasks like eating and washing her clothes, so managing teenagers seemed like a Sisyphean task. In spite of her previous closeness with Kieran's family and having made several friends, Paige had cut herself from everyone.

In mid-August, Paige received a message from her mom saying that she was on her way to Cleveland because she was worried. The following day, Paige's mom showed up at her door. Paige heard her knocking on the door, but she did not answer the door. Her mom kept knocking. "Paige, I know you're in there. If you don't answer the door in the next minute I will be calling the police in order to do a well-person check." Paige sat on her couch for a moment and then slowly got up to answer her door. All she needed was a bunch of police at her door causing a commotion.

Paige unlocked the door and opened it slowly. "You know you really didn't need to come here. I'm fine." Her mom opened the door and walked in; she looked around and saw piles of dirty clothes and various half eaten takeout containers. Her daughter, who had always been fit and well groom looked gaunt and it looked like she hadn't changed in clothes in several days. "It certainly doesn't look like you're fine." Paige walked away from her mother, "Mom, just leave. I'm fine."

Paige's mom walked around the apartment and was increasingly appalled by its state. "Paige, this is unacceptable. I understand you are grieving, but at a certain point you need to start participating in your life. You look like you haven't had a shower or changed clothes in weeks. You're clearly not eating or taking care of yourself. Kieran's mom called me because she said you have not spoken with them in quite some time—she's worried, we're all worried."

Paige sat on her couch stoically, looking as though she was staring through the wall. Before Paige could say anything, her mom started picking up the takeout containers and other garbage from the living room. Once the worst was thrown away, Paige's mom came and sat next to her. She pushed Paige's greasy hair behind her ear and put her arm around her daughter. "Paige, I love you and I get that you are going through something that no one your age should have to deal with, but something needs to change."

Paige rested her head on her mom's shoulder and started to cry. Her tears came silently at first, but the longer she sat there; the more she began to sob. "I just miss Kieran so much mom. We had so many plans. We were supposed to have kids, travel the world…grow old together." Paige's mom continued to hold her, "I know baby—what happened was unfair. No one your age should have to deal with such a loss." Paige continued to sob loudly as her mom held her. "What I do know is that Kieran loved you. He would not want to see your life stop." Paige continued to cry in her mom's arms until her mom felt Paige's body relax. Her mom gently lowered Paige's head to the pillow at the end of the couch. She slowly got off the couch and found the blanket that seemed the least dirty to cover up her daughter's sleeping body.

While Paige slept, her mom began to tidy the apartment; she started the giant pile of laundry and loaded the dishwasher with some of the dirty dishes that littered the apartment. Paige slept for more than fourteen hours. By the time she woke up, her mom had picked up most of the mess and had dozed off in the chair opposite her daughter.

When Paige woke up she was shocked to find her mom sleeping across from her and that her apartment was something approximating clean. Paige slowly got up and realized that her physical state was incongruent with her newly clean apartment. Paige took the blanket that had been covering her and draped it over her mother.

Paige walked through her apartment and saw that her mom had done all of her dishes and had managed to wash and fold several loads of laundry. Paige picked up her favorite t-shirt and a pair of sweats from the pile of clean laundry and walked into the bathroom for a shower. Paige slowly got undressed and looked at herself in the mirror; she was noticeably thinner and her face was red and blotchy and streaked with old tears and snot. She turned on the shower and waited until the water warmed. Once it was warm she stepped in and stood there as the warm water cascaded over her naked body. She washed her hair, face, and body and felt reinvigorated by the warm water and fragrance from the citrus shampoo and body wash.

She stepped out of the shower and felt the cool air rush over her body. Once she noticed the goose bumps forming all over her body she wrapped herself in a warm towel and started to brush her hair. Although she looked better, her eyes were still sunken and red. She brushed her teeth and quickly got dressed. She pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and opened the bathroom door.

Her mom had woken up, but was still sitting in the same chair. She looked at Paige. "You look much better." Paige nodded, "I feel a little better." Paige sat back down on the couch and looked at her mom. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, financially I'm fine. Kieran had an exceptional life insurance plan and there is going to be a large settlement from the car accident—I'm not worried there." Paige's mom nodded and continued listening. "I don't know what to do on my own. Kieran's family is great, but it's not the same."

Paige's mom sat there for a moment before she began to talk. "Paige, honey, I know you are an adult and have a life here in Cleveland, but I would like you to consider a move to Rosewood. I know you have never lived there, but I have more than enough space in my house for you. When your dad and I divorced, I knew that I needed a change. If I continued to live in the same town with him I knew that I would never begin to heal. Rosewood is small, but it's close to Philadelphia and has a lot of character. You could stay with me for as long as you needed."

Paige's mom expected that Paige would be resistant to the idea, but as it turned out, Paige was open to the move. She said that everything around the apartment and their neighborhood reminded her of Kieran and the life they were supposed to have. Perhaps a change of scenery and spending time with her mom would be just what she needed.

Less than a week later, Paige and her mother had packed up the apartment and packed everything in the U-Haul trailer they had rented for the move. Paige collected some of Kieran's belongings and took them to his family. Leaving them was hard, but she knew this is what she needed. Two days later the apartment was empty and Paige was on her way to Rosewood, PA to start the next chapter of her life.