Making Sherlock Holmes Cry

Clarence Throckbottom, host of 'First Story', decided one fine day to punish that irritating Sherlock Holmes; no, he wouldn't kill him but he would make sure that he 'suffered'. He decided to do this by hurting Dr. John Watson – obviously Holmes' best friend. Bad idea.

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A.N. I do hope that there isn't a news program called 'First Story' or a host named 'Throckbottom' – failing that, this is of course, fiction. :D! Comes from eating too much 'cookies and cream' ice cream.

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Once upon a time – as these things go – there was an investigative reporter named Clarence Throckbottom who had a television program called 'First Story'. He thought that he was particularly clever, and was able to come up with theories and information about world events and ordinary life that were cogent and timely, a sage commentator that people should highly regard. And that he should get a salary deserving of such a fine individual. Throckbottom's co-workers, on the other hand thought that he was a major pain in the ass and needed to be 'taken down a bit'.

It happened this day that 'First Story' had - at the behest of the local constabulary - secured an interview with the famous London-based detective, Sherlock Holmes – something that the man himself was not very keen on, but that D.I. Lestrade had implored him 'to do' seeing as an old friend of Lestrade's was in serious trouble, and maybe, just maybe, a word from Holmes that backed up some evidence might be helpful. The crime involved was a nasty bit of business – slavery, drugs, with a brace of murders 'thrown in' – but not relevant in any manner to what happened next.

(Dr. John Watson had in his blog regarding his unusual friend, stated that Sherlock Holmes was ignorant regarding some of the most common facts of life, such as whether the Earth went around the Sun or perhaps the other way around. This so-called ignorance had given Throckbottom the mistaken impression that he could easily control the mercurial detective, and that another coup of investigative reporting was imminent.)

Also on this mid-week day came word of a terrorist incident – unfolding as the broadcast was aired. Someone – male – had taken three or four people hostage and had demanded that a letter be made public (some commentators had taken to calling it a manifesto – an escalation of the matter as it turned out.) The letter apparently involved someone by the name of Fatima, which the authorities assured everyone in the viewing public, was of Islamic derivation. Throckbottom 'ran' with this assumption and made comments that 'wiser minds' would regard as 'racist' or at the very least ignorant in a religious sense. Normally, these comments would be left to settle, and hopefully sink into oblivion, as they so rightfully deserved. (Watson later made the comment that 'Throckbottom was a bloody dick' which pretty much summed it up.)

However this day, this hour – Sherlock Holmes was currently 'on set' – and as soon as the host made his pronouncements about the incident, the detective immediately spoke up and said, 'Wrong!' He said this in what the host thought was a most imperious voice – actually it wasn't, he was only stating what he saw as 'a correction' to the facts to which everyone else had applied the erroneous conclusion.

The 'Fatima' in the incident referred to 'Our Lady of Fatima', a particular miraculous vision (or appearance – as thought by the more devout) of the Blessed Virgin Mary, beloved of Roman Catholics. There was some controversy regarding this occurrence – regarding secrets that were 'passed on to the pope' – thus leading to long-lasting desires by some to know what was said in private. In point of fact, the 'terrorist' was in truth, a mentally deranged Irish monk who in his delirium thought this action might release this hidden information.

(The 'incident' was resolved soon after, without further damage to the people involved – although nothing more was spoken of the monk – it is assumed that he got needed treatment – although religious zealots are a difficult group to treat as much of what they believe is tolerated by society. In ancient, prehistoric times, the development of 'government' proceeded hand-in-hand with that of 'religion' – 'the king' and 'the priest' worked together to control their world. Not much has changed in the several millennia since then . . .)

Any explanation, however reasonable, was not sufficient for Clarence Throckbottom; Sherlock Holmes had embarrassed the too-sensitive man, and Throckbottom decided that he would pay for his 'crime'.

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A.N. Actually this occurred in the seventies – when I am not sure – but I remember it as I was going to work, and as was my habit – read the newspaper front page in the box in front of where I worked. It was reported that the authorities thought it was Islamic extremists; I thought – 'Oh they have this so wrong!' – It wasn't reported until later that my understanding of the situation was correct – such was the pre-cell phone era . . . but now 'back to the story' . . .

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