So, if you haven't read "Houston, I'm So Not Talking to You Anymore" or "Houston, I Think You May Have the Wrong Lip Gloss," I think it would be best to at least read "Houston, I Think You May Have the Wrong Lip Gloss," To have some idea what's going on with James, Kendall and Choir. I left "Houston, I Think You May Have The Wrong Lip Gloss," as a to be continued so I can do this one.

I do not own Big Time Rush or any of the characters. Hope you like "Houston, Two Can Keep A Secret If One of Them Is Dead," R&R PLEASE!

"I know this isn't what I wanted. I never thought I'd come this far. Just thinking back to where we started and how we lost all that we are."

- The Jonas Brothers ft. Miley Cyrus "Before the Storm"

It was late December, Christmas only being 2 days away, and we were sitting around the apartment trying to get into the spirit. It's not like we were bummed about Christmas or anything it was just it was hard to feel the mood Christmas usually brings. Here in L.A it was just another summer day but it Minnesota there was the snow that was super awesome because we had snow ball fights, made snowmen, and sledded with one another till we were soaking wet, and we would play hockey for an hour or two till it was too cold. Inside my home, my mom would have the house decorated with lights, the curtains a maroon color, cards from family members were tapped to the bathroom door, Christmas advertisements singing in the background on TV, the smell of my moms home cooked meals, and us for lounging around playing video games when it was way to cold to even step outside. At night, cinnamon candles would be burning, and Christmas music playing the the back ground. There was Christmas character lights placed on the windows all around the house. They ranged from Rudolph, Santa in his sleigh, Frosty, an Angel, and candy canes. They all lit up and at night you could see the snow falling, lightly piling on the window sill. Every year my mom would pull out this small blue table and cover it with this white cotton blanket. Then placed small Christmas figurines of people who were singing carols, visiting Santa, delivering mail, making snow man, snow ball fighting, and ice skating. it really captured a a wholesome town during Christmas. I was always wondering why there was never any black people in it. Every time I asked my mother why she would reply laughing "Why don't you go ask the makers?" Carlos did do that but they always hung up on him every time he called. So, he found another way to fix it. He grabbed a black marker and colored a few of them. Logan was in his mythical creatures stage when Carlos decided to do that, so Logan grabbed white out and attempted to make fangs on some of them. God, I miss home. This time of year was making me really feel the longing for family and old times.

Nothing really said Christmas without the big tree my mother put up every year. It's the same tree we've had since I was five – it's fake. It's gotten smaller since I've grown up but it still brings about the same feeling every year. I love staring at it for a few moments just taking it in. It was green, decorated with pictures of me when I was younger. Some pics framed in Christmas like frames with Logan, Kendall, Carlos and I. There was golden garland wrapped around it, silver tinsel glittering draped over the ends, a big star shined at the top and lastly red, yellow, green, blue, and orange lights wrapped in the same swirl pattern as the garland lit up the tree. Even though all that gets taken down and put somewhere else every year, the smell will always be the same. Grant it it smells like my cellar but that's when I know it's Christmas.

Here at Palmwoods, they tried to make a weak attempt at capturing Christmas and I confess it was pathetic. I sensed the boys felt the same way cause they also did whatever they could to stay away from the outside would till this was over. That and because we were prohibited to go anywhere near the lounge or pool area till December was over. Why? Well, Carlos was so fed up that he threw there small Christmas tree into the pool as he yelled "SANTA WOULD BE SICKENED!" Logan tried to spread dry white rice over the grass for snow until he was forced to clean it up with a fork. Kendall merely complained that it wasn't good enough and it brought down spirits. As for me, I put a little gold ball Christmas ornament on everyone's ear when the checked into the Palmwoods Hotel. Now there was a picture of the four of us around the place that read: Report or beat with pool noodle if seen in Lounge or pool area. Can you blame us though? It was pathetic...PATHETIC!

I sighed to myself as the cup of hot coffee Logan was made for me was placed in front of me on the coffee table. Carlos was watching Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Kendall was watching as well, though it looked like he was in as much as a deep of a thought as I was. I could only guess what he was thinking about. It wasn't about Christmas though...

Choir said she'd be back early December but that was before Kendall punched me in the face. I forgave him of course. It was understandable. He felt threatened and even though he went about it all wrong I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy and forgive him. Choir wasn't so forgiving. She left that night and the only reason why we knew she did was because Stephanie told us the next day. Stephanie asked to speak to Kendall in private. After their talk 10 minute talk he walked back over to us, and as he passed us he said in a low voice that was on the brink of breaking "She's gone," and vanished inside Palmwoods Hotel.

I'm not a big fan of that day either but Christmas was already sucking so there wasn't any need to make it worse. Thinking of her was hard for me. She was a good friend. She helped me when I needed it and it was going smoothly until Kendall assumed the worse...

"Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it you would even say it glows..." Carlos started to sing, wearing a big stupid smile. I smiled and began to sing along with him.

"All of the other reindeer's, used to laugh and call him names..."

Logan joined in and sung the next line "They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games..."

Kendall had come out of thought and took the next line, "Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,"

Then we all sang together, "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight,"

Yeah it may seemed a bit weird but we enjoyed singing. When we finished Kendall's mother had walked in. "Wow boys, that was really good." She placed down three big brown bags of groceries on the counter and turned when Katie walked in talking.

"Yes, four grown boys singing a children's Christmas carol, cute is the word," Kate said sarcastically. She was carrying a brown bag filled with groceries too.

We laughed at that we all got up to check out what Mrs. Knight bought. It was awesome.

"YES!" I shouted picking up cookie dough that stuck out the bag. "We're definetly making this tonight!"

Kendall pulled out a box of red and green M&M's and almost immediately Carlos snatched them from his hands. "CHRISTMAS M&M PING PONG!" he opened it and stuck a hand full in his mouth.

"Save some for the ping pong" Kendall said. As we all searched the bag that was filled with Christmas food Kendall spoke. "What's this?" he asked. When I looked he had a small Claire's bag in his hand. I knew who it was for and my mouth dropped. I could feel my cheeks reddening. When his mom had looked up to see what he was talking about her mouth had dropped a bit too.

"I thought James would like his girlfriend to join us for Secret Santa Christmas Eve," she said. Kendall had pulled out what was in the bag. It was a necklace box with a gold ribbon around it. I walked over to him and held my hand out. I felt kind of bad because me having a girlfriend is what arouse suspicion for Kendall. He just had the wrong lip gloss, so to speak. It wasn't Choir I wanted. It was another girl I had met before Choir had come back last time. I was having a hard time trying to get this girl to like me and Choir was into this whole Twilight crap and said it was the key to any teenage girls heart. She was right too. The girl – Carrie - loved it and let me take her to see New Moon. I know I should have been honest with him from the beginning. I just didn't want him to take the girl I liked again. I knew it was a stupid reason to keep it from him but I had my insecurities too.

When he gave it to me I quietly thanked him for it. I turned to his mother. "Thanks for buying it for me, again."

"No problem. You're like family to me James – you all are. So, if you need anything from me just ask," she said and hugged me tightly for a brief second. "All right, there's some more things in the car. The one that's tied up is not to be opened. Its the secret Santa presents and if I suspect you've even tried to see through the bag I will tie you to a pole and let you bake in the sun."

Logan faced scrunched up as if he could already feel the pain. "Ay, Ay, Captain," Kendall said and headed out.

"PRESENTS!" Carlos yelled and ran after Kendall. Logan shook his head and walked out.

As I went to make my way out Mrs. Knight said my name. I looked at her and she smiled. "Anything from Choir yet?" she asked.

I shook my head, "I don't think she's going to come back either."

She sighed. "I wish you boys would tell me what happened,"

"You don't wanna know. Trust me."

"Well I got her a gift for secret Santa, just in case."

I smiled halfheartedly and walked out. We raced to see who could get to the car first but was stopped dead in out tracks when we saw what was in the parking lot. An ambulance member was pushing Gustavo Rocque on a gurney and into the ambulanceIt was tough to swallow. My heart felt like it was going to stop. What are we gonna do if he dies?

Kelly was standing there beside him waiting for her turn to get in. We ran to her before she could, yelling her name. When she heard us she ran to us too. "What happened!" I asked terrified when we came to a stop.

"I don't know! He was complaining of chest pains all day and when we were about to get him to the hospital he collapsed on the ground!" she cried. Carlos brought her into his arms to comfort her. "he just stopped breathing," she added crying. I looked to the ambulance and just gaped. Holy crap.

"Are you coming with us!" An ambulance person called over to Kelly. She let go of Carlos.

"I'll call you to tell you what's up," she said and ran back over to the ambulance to get in.

We all stood there in shock. We didn't know what to do. This was crazy. One minute we were having fun, the next it was like we ran into Satan and he said times up. Now here we stand and are possible future could go to hell if Rocque dies.

"...Let's...get...the...bags..." Kendall said in a dazed tone. I nodded agreeing with him but I couldn't move. Neither did the rest of them...

Later that evening I found myself alone in my room. Everyone was off my themselves getting their heads wrapped around this tragedy. We have yet to hear from Kelly. I don't know where anyone went just in case she does but I'd have to go looking for them once she does. I heard the door open to the apartment and checked to see who had come in. It was a tall man dressed in a black tux and wore black sun glasses. He rolled in two huge pink suit cases and a smaller one tucked under right arm, holding it tightly against his side so it wouldn't fall. I raised my two eye brows. It was kind of weird. A random grown man coming into a house dressed formally, with 3 pink suitcases. What was up with that. Someone did cross my mind because of the suit cases but what were the chances of that.

"Can I help you?" I asked suspiciously. He came to a stop by the couch and put the suitcases down.

"Is this the Knight residents?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Choir will be in after she looks for Kendall Knight," he said and started to walk out.

Today was just doing a number on my heart. It gave a big leap and I blinked a few. "Are you serious?" I asked.

He didn't answer but just walked out. I followed after him but when I got out the door he was already gone. She's back? Of course she would be! Her dad had been hospitalized early this morning. I had to find Kendall to see if he and her had reunited.

I didn't have to go very far because when I came to the lounge area she was standing there staring out into the pool area from the door. I knew it was her because her long golden curls. They may have grown longer but she had a distinctive kind of curl and she was the only one with long hair like that.

"Choir?" I asked walking slowly to her. When I got to her side tears streamed down her face. "Hey, look, don't cry. Your dad-"

I was cut off when she lifted and arm and pointed. When I looked to see what she was pointing to I saw the one thing she definitely didn't need after what's happening to her dad. Kendall was kissing Jo. My mouth felt like it was in this stupid gape all day. It just hung a little bit lower. What the hell was Kendall doing? Choir shook her head.

"Unbelievable," her voice broke. She turned and hurried for the elevator.

"Hey! Choir! Wait!"I said as I ran after her. I grabbed her arm and when I pulled her into me she wrapped her arms around me tightly. I stroked her hair softly as she cried.

"I hate my life," she cried.

"Shh..don't say that. Everything is gonna be okay," I tried to say reassuringly. Though after what has happened to her with her dad and now Kendall, it didn't look like she was ever going to recover from it.

"No it's not!" she sobbed quietly. It killed me inside to see her upset. I wish I could make it all go away. Make her forget somehow. "My father might die and Kendall..." she trailed off not able to say anything and broke into a louder cry.

"Sh, sh, sh, sh," I said as I tightened the embrace. "Don't think about it. Kendall has been through a lot tonight. He probably kissed her cause he's vulnerable," I said trying my best to defend Kendall. She can't be that upset, though. She's been going for 6 months and who knew she was ever going to come back. Kendall was eventually going to move on. She pulled away from me wiping her eyes.

"Hey," I said smiling and cupped her face. "Everything is going to be fine. I swear. By this time tomorrow we'll get this Kendall thing straightened out and your father will have pulled through and you'll be spending Christmas together,"

She smiled a half smile but frowned again. She reached up and hugged her arms around by neck. I hugged her again. My heart was racing. I could smell the lavender in her hair, the warm touch of her skin, the steady beating of her heart against my hands, and her hand that laced in my brown hair. When she pulled a way a little she kissed my check lightly. Her firm, glossed lips, touched my skin tenderly and sent a wave of excitement through my body.

"Thank you," she said in my ear. She pulled back a little bit more but only enough that our ,lips were less than an inch away. I tried to keep focused because I knew I had a girlfriend but I just couldn't object against the closeness. I used to want a moment like this so bad with her. Since I'm not pushing her away and practically asking to be kissed, maybe I still do. I initiated the kiss, moving in a tiny bit. She backed away a bit but brought it back closer. Her eyes were closed but mine remained open. This felt so unreal and I had to keep them open to remind me that it was and that I wasn't dreaming. I finally kissed her. I felt a surge of pain hit my heart. I knew doing this wasn't right because of Carrie. Kendall, my best friend, wouldn't like this either. I was betraying them but maybe this was my chance. Finally showing her that it was me all along. That I was hear all along. That I was the one for her. I don't know. I couldn't let that chance pass by me.