Power's Out
Summary: When a baseball game late at night goes wrong and knocks out the power for 12 hours, will the Smashers be able to survive without their TV, video games, and especially their porn? Oneshot. Contains some Bowser/Rosalina.
Rating: Teen
"Come on, Lucas! One more throw, and then we'll call it a night!"
"Oh, all right. Last pitch."
Ness and Lucas, the famous EarthBound Smashers, were outside on the baseball diamond, practicing their batting. Currently, Ness was winning for the most home runs, but then again, he was actually using a bat compared to Lucas's stick. Nevertheless, it didn't really matter much to Lucas as he tossed the last ball. As expected, Ness hit it straight out of the diamond.
Lucas chuckled. "Why am I not surprised? I'm starting to think those Smash 4 buffs gave you godly batting powers."
Ness laughed as well. "Nah, I've just always been this good."
A sudden SMASH! brought both of them to attention.
"Uh… what was that?" Lucas muttered.
"I don't know, but let's check it out. It came from the direction I hit the baseball, so it must've hit something." Ness said.
"Annihilated from the sound of it." Lucas commented as the two dashed out of the baseball diamond and into the field around it.
Eventually, the two ran up and found the ball. Lucas's suspicions were correct, as the object the ball hit was completely and utterly destroyed. Unfortunately, it happened to be a very important object to a lot of the Smashers.
Lucas was the first to speak up as the two watched electricity fizzle out of the electrical circuit box the ball hit.
"Think the electricity's out?"
"Oh yeah."
"Think the rest of the Smashers are going to kill us?"
"OH YEAH."
Meanwhile…
In the large media room the Smashers had for watching grand movie on a big theater screen, Bowser and Rosalina were currently watching a cute romantic comedy, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
And… so was Mewtwo. Hey, the guy enjoyed a good rom-com just like every other guy never wants to admit.
Unfortunately, all their fun was cut short in a flash, the screen and theater lights going completely dark.
"Huh? Hey, what just happened?" Bowser grumbled, not happy about the situation.
"Argh, and they were just getting to the game of bullshit too!" Rosalina sighed. She got up from her seat, looking around. "Hmm. If I had to guess, I'd say the power went out. Reminds of how dark my observatory went when you stole those Power Stars." she teased.
"Hey, I apologized for that!" Bowser argued, getting a laugh out of it too.
Mewtwo's eyes widened. "The… power's out? Oh. Oh no. That's… that's not good."
Rosalina seemed confused. "Well, it's obviously not good, but it's not a huge issue. It'll be fixed eventually."
Bowser chuckled nervously. "Rosie… honey, I don't think you were here for the power outage of 2003."
Mewtwo shuddered. "Sweet Arceus. Don't remind me. That ended with 13 injuries, $70 million in damages to the kitchen ALONE, AND the death of Master Hand's ex-aunt!"
Rosalina blinked. "Ex-aunt… I don't recall Master Hand ever mentioning her."
"To be fair, his ex-aunt was a horrible bitch." Bowser explained.
"True, her fits made Crazy Hand look like the pinnacle of sanity. It was probably best for everyone; she was a horrible bitch anyways. He actually thanked us for that." Mewtwo shrugged. "Still. Bowser, you and I both know from experience that Smashers plus no electricity equals disaster."
"Point taken. Mewtwo, lock us in here. I'm not going to be out there when the inevitable occurs and I risk the possibility of serious injury and/or death." Bowser ordered. "And neither is my sweet Rosie."
Rosalina hugged her Luma, Polari, and then Bowser. "Aww, thanks softie."
Mewtwo locked the doors, taking the necessary precautions. "And now we wait."
Meanwhile…
A battle was currently going on in the battle simulator within the Smash Mansion. The battle simulator was the way to practice and play matches in the Smash Mansion, and since no battles were officially scheduled at this time, an unofficial match between Marth, Ike, Roy, and Lucina was underway.
It was a 5-stock match between all of them on the Fire Emblem stage, Coliseum. Ike was the first out, losing his last stock to one of those very unfortunate Bob-omb spawns. Roy clashed with Marth as Lucina attempted to heal with a Maxim Tomato on the other side of the stage.
Healed up, Lucina dashed back into the action, right after Roy had launched Marth out of the arena by countering his tipped Forward Smash. Now, only Roy and Lucina remained. Roy countered as he expected an attack, but Lucina instead grabbed him, throwing him down which then bounced him up into the air. She followed with an Up Aerial. Roy hit back down with a Down Aerial. It made contact with Lucina, and would've KO'd her if she hadn't teched against the floor of the stage. Lucina took advantage of the ending lag of Roy's Down Aerial, slightly charging and then launching a Forward Smash of her own. Roy was launched out of the arena, leaving Lucina the victor.
The announcer spoke up. "This game's winner is…"
"The future is not written!" she proclaimed.
"…Lucina!"
In the background, Marth, Ike, and Roy were clapping for her victory. The four would've exited out of the battle simulator, if it weren't for the power inconveniently going out at that moment.
"Uhh… what just happened?" Roy asked, the entire area now covered in darkness.
"Reboot emergency systems." said an electronic voice. The battlefield was regenerated, as all four stood in confusion of what had happened. Marth was the first to figure it out, deducing what happened.
"Looks like the battle simulator switched to its' emergency mode." he stated. The other three looked at him in confusion until he explained further.
"This happened once in a match I had against Pac-Man. If something disrupts or otherwise knocks out the battle simulator's power source, it'll put anyone currently in the system into a Safety Mode until someone outside can reboot the system. In Safety Mode, stocks are unlimited and the time is infinite as well."
The group was silent for a moment as they took in what Marth had said.
"So… we're basically stuck here until someone outside gets us out?" Ike asked.
"In layman's terms, basically yeah." Marth sighed.
"And… there's nothing anyone can do about it?" Roy chuckled, looking at Marth mischievously.
"Yeah…"
"Absolutely nothing?" Lucina also laughed, giving Marth a mischievous glance as well.
"…Guys? Why are you looking at me like that?" Marth said nervously.
"I need someone to take my tier frustrations from Melee out on!" Roy said, brandishing his Sword of Seals.
"And I need my frustration on you taken out because I'm completely inferior to you in gameplay!" Lucina said, wielding her Falchion.
"And I'm just doing this for fun!" Ike laughed, whipping around his Ragnell.
That day, Marth gave out a shriek of terror so feminine and girly, it made Peach look like the epitome of manliness.
Meanwhile…
"Heh heh heh. This new video from PornTube is super SEXY!" came the sound of a filthy, awful, and rotten voice. It was from no other than the disgusting Wario. "Those big beautiful butts and boobs… the sweet, sweet material to pleasure myself to." he chuckled, with some gross snot coming out of his nose.
From the other side of the room came a sigh from Luigi as he went through his computer. "Why did I have to get stuck with Wario? No, you can't bunk with your bro Mario, he has to bunk with his own clone, says Master Hand. No, Bowser and his son are bunking. No, Peach and Rosalina are bunking. No, DK and Diddy are bunking. And no, Yoshi's bunking with Kirby! Yes, I had to get the fat, putrid slob known as Wario!"
"Hey greenie, could you keep your yap shut? I'm trying to download some good porn over here!"
Luigi looked at a flash drive he was given. Recently, he had vented to Shulk about his problems with Wario and the Homs understood, also having to deal with Sonic as a roommate. This flash drive had a virus Shulk programmed, having only the purpose to wipe out and destroy a single computer before deleting itself. To be honest, Luigi debated even using it. As much as Wario disgusted him, he didn't really have the heart to wipe out EVERYTHING on Wario's laptop.
"Two Girls, One Cup, Zero Clothes?" Wario laughed. "Aw yeah! That shit is HOT! Literally!"
Until now.
Luigi got an idea, and perhaps one of the few things that would get Wario away from his porn.
"Hey uh… Wario." Luigi said casually.
"What is it, greenie?"
"I heard Palutena was modelling her swimsuit collection and wanted your opinion. You know… the super-skimpy kind. Up in her room on the fourth floor. You. And her. Alone."
Wario got hearts in his eyes as he waddled out of his room and headed up towards Palutena's room. "Why can't we have an elevator in this damn mansion?!" he growled, practically crawling up the stairs.
Luigi laughed, closing the door and taking out his flash drive. "That should keep him busy for a half-hour or so."
He sat down at Wario's computer, trying not to touch… whatever weird thing was on his chair. Luigi wasn't too interested in finding out. The poor green-clothed man also had to hold back the urge to vomit as he saw Wario's computer screen, minimizing all of the windows. He pushed it far back into his mind as he plugged in the flash drive, the virus's contents transferring over. From that point on, it would've been fairly straight-forward… until the power went out. Wario's computer remained on due to being a standard Smash Bros.-issued laptop, but the power outage caused some… very, VERY strange effects to the virus.
The moment that the flash drive was immediately ejected and the laptop started to levitate, Luigi knew something had gone horribly wrong.
"I AM THE SPIRIT OF THIS COMPUTER, BLINDED AND CORRUPTED BY UNSPEAKABLE FILTH THAT NOBODY SHOULD EVER HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH!"
And this was where, maybe quite literally, shit hit the fan. Luigi was left stuttering nervously.
"I… uhh… you see I… umm, that whole porn thing isn't really my…"
"SILENCE, WORM! ALL DATA ON THIS COMPUTER HAS ALREADY BEEN ERASED, AND YOU WILL BE NEXT FOR SUBJECTING ME TO SUCH HORRORS!"
"Why do these things always happen to me?" Luigi sighed, before screaming and running in sheer terror, with an angry computer chasing after him.
Meanwhile…
A basketball game was being played by four Smashers. Mario, Link, Fox, and Samus, 4 of the original 12 characters from the original Smash tournament. Naturally, Mario and Samus both had significant advantages over Link and Fox, given the former's high experience in sports and the latter's superhuman strength and speed thanks to her Chozo and Metroid genes. To be fair to everyone, Mario teamed up with Link, and Fox teamed up with Samus.
The score was currently tied at 10-10, with about a minute left on the clock. Mario was in control of the ball, fending back Samus as he surpassed her. He passed the ball to Link, but the pass was intercepted by Fox. He took the ball down to the opposite site, jumping up for a slam dunk at the last few seconds…
...Until the power went out. Not being able to see a thing, poor Fox ended up ramming his face into the hoop, banging against the metal hard.
"Yaaaaahhhhh!" he yelped, falling back down onto the floor. "The hell was that?!"
Link ignored the screams of pain, instead asking the obvious. "What just happened?"
"What happened is that I broke my face!" Fox screamed, probably bleeding in the dark.
Samus also ignored the screams. "Looks like the power went out. And just as we were about to win, too." she sighed, a bit disappointed. "I'll check out the problem. The electrical box may have blown a fuse or a transformer went out or something like that."
Mario nodded in the darkness. "And I'll take Fox to see Doc. Not sure how much he can do in the dark, but it's worth at least bringing him."
The room was soon quiet, with Mario, Fox, and Samus leaving.
"And I'll just… stand here." Link said, muttering to himself.
Meanwhile…
Yoshi, Kirby, and Pac-Man had all decided to do something just a little bit before the power went out. That would be to raid the fridge and stuff themselves silly. Dinner earlier that night wasn't exactly appetizing to them, with Crazy Hand cooking up a horrible abomination made from tofu, brussel sprouts, and rotten eggs. After eating that, the three of them had been vomiting for the past hour, but the trio's stomachs were feeling better again.
The kitchen was unoccupied, so it was easy for the three of them to just sneak in and start eating. Yoshi was chowing down on fruit, Kirby on cake, and Pac-Man on Pac Pellets. In a flash, all of the lights in the kitchen went out, leaving everyone in total darkness.
"...What just happened?" Pac-Man asked.
"I think the power went out. And now I can't eat because I can't see a thing." Yoshi sighed.
"Poyo." Kirby sighed as well in disappointment. He waddled out of the kitchen to just go back upstairs and sleep, only to get stomped on by a frightened Luigi.
"Wha?!" he exclaimed, falling backwards. Dazed, he walked back into the kitchen, bumping into the fridge. Still open, the other contents started falling out. Namely, Crazy Hand's unspeakable abomination. And it all went into Kirby's mouth. Every. Single. Bit. Hearing a retching sound, Yoshi and Pac started to run for it.
Meanwhile…
Ness and Lucas were walking back from the electrical circuit box while Samus was going to it.
"We're dead. We're so dead." Lucas sighed.
"Come on, Lucas. It can't be that bad."
A giant explosion of green… stuff came bursting through the ceiling of the Smash Mansion, sending everyone flying through the air into the empty baseball field.
"Mama mia!" Mario shouted, being flung ahead of the pack.
"I'm flying! I'm actually flying!" Falco exclaimed, 'flying' as the current propelled him through the air.
"You're not flying, Falco." Mewtwo said, rolling his eyes. "At best, you're falling. With style, at least."
"Good enough for me!" Falco said back.
"Oh gross! What is this stuff?!" Palutena yelped, disgusted.
"Hey, you're not modelling swimsuits!" Wario yelled, pissed off.
Samus looked back, seeing the eruption and descent of the green stuff and the Smashers. "Oh boy…" she muttered, turning on her Power Suit's defensive gear and preparing for the worst.
As the group fell to the ground, something banged off Fox's head and was caught by Wario.
"Ow! More bleeding! More pain!" Fox winced, his face and head a bloody mess.
"Hey, my laptop! Eww, it's got blood, fur, and green stuff all over it." Wario grumbled.
"Crazy, is this your doing again?!" Master Hand shouted, now making contact with the ground.
"I didn't do anything this time, brother!" he yelped, twitching as he hit the floor.
"MY PORN! WHERE'S MY PORN?!" Wario cried, browsing through his computer to see everything deleted.
Samus sighed. This had been a night she'd rather forget.
Super Smash Bros © Nintendo
Yeah, not going to lie. This isn't a masterpiece, and it's kinda rough. Definitely not my best stuff. But I wanted to output something for you guys and just do something silly. Read and review, I suppose.
