This is actually a fic I started last year but never finished. I decided to add onto it. I hope its okay.
Heaven Cries Along With Me
BakuKugu
The memory you hold of those you care about is precious. Nothing can change that. Nothing can replace them. It's your mind at work.
So when you think back on the good times with those you care about, it almost seems better somehow.
You remember their smile, their laugh. You remember the feel of having them close by. Though, being near them in reality is a much better feeling in its own. You feel their warmth, their heat.
The memory is what you cherish most. Because a memory is all you will have once they're gone forever.
I knew that well enough. The knowing that you have them one day, and then the next they're gone. It's an empty feeling. A want to see them again. But you can't.
So you cling to the memory of them. You want for them to be as alive as possible, without actually being alive.
I can't help it. She was always there for me, me for her. I wanted her there with me, even now.
But I can't. Not any more.
So I hold onto the last day we shared together. When she was happy. I clung to the memory of her smile, the memory of her laugh. It was almost as if she was still here with me.
But she wasn't.
Because I lost her that day.
All seemed normal. A beautiful and sun shining day. The birds sung loudly. The wind was cooling, relaxing, soothing.
I remember her lying on her back, arms behind her head, eyes closed in bliss as she listened to the wind. I watched her from a few feet away, about two or three.
She shined that day. It may have just been the sun. Or maybe it was all her. But she shined. She shined bright. Almost blinding.
I remember how her eyes opened up, just enough to look at the sun, and then over at me. Her grey eyes seemed to sparkle, so much life in those eyes!
When she held out her hand to me, my heart raced. She looked beautiful. I didn't know it then, but I thought she was breathtaking, like a goddess.
I was naive back then. I didn't know what to think. But I was smart enough to take her hand.
Her skin was so soft, smooth as well, like a flower petal.
She giggled as she pulled me down beside her, my body falling into the grass beside her. She looked into my eyes, a small blush on her cheeks as she smiled.
I took in her smile, every inch of it. I had to. That smile was directed at me, for me. I was the only one who saw that smile. It was my own personal memory.
She placed a soft hand on my cheek, I remember how warm her hand was. She was so relaxed, even though her pale cheeks were bright red. I remember that my own began to turn the same red as she caressed my cheek. When I pulled away from her touch, I remember the small flash of hurt in her eyes, but it was gone before I could even question her on it. She covered up her emotion well. But I could always see right through her.
I looked down on her, leaning on my left arm for support. She smiled up at me. I remember asking her if something was wrong.
After that, it was swift. Almost a blur. A shift, an in between of nothingness. A few second gap in my memory, but how that blur ends was clear.
It was hard to forget what she tasted like that day. She tasted of strawberry. Her chapstick. Her lips were soft. I remember how she smiled into the kiss towards the end. She held me close, even after she pulled away, placing her forehead to mine keeping me held down.
I remember being really confused for a few moments after that. I was in complete denial. I didn't believe that she would have kissed me. But she did. It became clear to me the moment she smiled at me again. She released her hold on my head and let me sit up. She sat up with me.
"What was that?" I asked her.
Her cheeks got hotter. "There was no real reason, I guess." She replied.
Not much happened after that. At least, that's what I thought. I had to get going soon after our little kiss. I had to get home. She understood and sent me off. I remember looking back at her as I walked. She stood at her door, waving to me. I didn't wave back or even call back to her. I just turned around and walked away.
I should have done something then.
I was in the livingroom, moonglow seeping through the curtains on the window. I sat on the couch, tv was turned on but wasn't my main focus. I had my computer in front of me. I wasn't really doing anything on it. My evening was actually really uneventful.
With dinner already eaten and homework done I had nothing to do but lounge around.
I wish I hadn't been.
When my cell phone went off at my side, its vibrations shaking the surface of the couch, I closed my computer and grabbed my cell phone to answer the call. I stood up and walked over to the window, the stars shined bright, twinkled.
"Hey, Kuguru." I answered.
I had recognized the number.
"Baku?" Was the reply.
It wasn't her voice on the other end.
I stepped away from the window and stared off with a questionable gaze. "That's me...but who is this?"
"This is Kuguru's mother."
It explained a lot to me now than it did then.
"Well, Mrs. Uki, what are you doing with Kuguru's phone?" I had to ask.
"That's what I'm calling you for, Baku. It's an emergency."
"What happened?" I asked.
All seemed so quiet after that. I listened to her words as she explained what she believes happened. The entire time, I felt my hands shaking. I remembered her face constantly with every detail that was spouted at me through her mother's shaky voice, through every crack.
I never heard the end of her statement. The phone had slipped from my grasp. I heard it crash onto the floor, cracking and splitting, cheap plastic spreading across the small part of the floor.
I was already out of the house and running into the dark and chilly night before my mother could call out to me to get to bed.
I should have done something then.
But it was too late.
