A/N Hi guys! Little oneshot that I churned out in order to gain 20 points for our genre in wriye.
(Join. Now. wriye . proboards . com)
Disclaimer-I don't own anything recognisable
Claimer-Unless you can show me a fic with a publish date before the 30.12.2010, I own the idea that Bella gets insanely drunk, takes LSD, and has to get her stomach pumped.
Either way, enjoy!
"I give up!" I sighed in frustration. "She's far to impossible to see. Who on earth is at that party anyway?"
Edward shrugged. "Lauren Mallory's 18th birthday. I'm betting there will be everyone in Forks there."
I pursed my lips. "Why weren't we invited? Come on. She invited Angela for Christ's sake. Not that I have anything against her, she's a lovely, pure hearted, girl, but that's exactly my point! I might have liked to go."
Emmett came in then, tossing a small baseball from hand to hand. "Really Alice? I can't begin to even imagine why you'd like to go to a high school party." He scrunched up his face, flopping into one of the many chairs littering the longue room. "The sweat, the dancing, the beers-Why aren't I there?"
I levelled my eyes on him. "It's the principle of the matter Emmett. And I'm amazed Edward let Bella go. Actually, I'm amazed Bella even wanted to go. She's still putting up a fuss about her graduation party." I quickly scanned the future, smiling to myself. "And that's still happening."
"Of course it is," Edward muttered, rolling his eyes. "And trust me, I want nothing more to go to her house and take Bella away from there. I'm beginning to regret letting her go."
I stuck my tongue out at him. "Edward, you're her boyfriend, not her mother. Stop acting like you can tell her what to do."
"You do," he pointed out.
"That's different!" I defended myself. "I know she'll like my decisions. Yours are plain stupid."
"I'm only looking out for her safety," he retorted. "She's 17-"
"Oh great, now we're going with the "age difference" monologue," I interrupted him. "Save it Edward. As Carlisle continues to point out, you're still a seventeen year old boy. I don't want to her more whining and self pity."
He shrugged. "I know more than she does," he said simply.
I briefly contemplated taking the baseball out of Emmett's hands and smashing it into Edwards head, but he'd see it and duck out of the way, resulting in me gouging away parts of the sofa. I didn't want to be stuck here on Sunday fixing it.
Edward smirked. "See?"
"That doesn't prove your point!" I retorted. "That has no relevance to the conversations. And, either way, Angela's there, so she should take care of Bella."
"Then why are you worrying so much?" Emmett asked. "Both you two are going to get grey hair soon."
We glared at him. "It's called a joke, making you should try cracking one someday," he defended himself.
"Sarcasm doesn't become you," Edward commented.
"Like you can talk," Emmett scoffed. "She's going to be fine."
"I highly doubt that," Edward moaned.
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever guys. I'm out of here if you're going to be like that."
"I'm gonna follow," Emmett decided.
"You just got here-"
"-And now I'm leaving. Any chance of a storm in the next few days?" he asked eagerly.
I rolled my eyes again. "No Emmett. I already told you that. Just go and play with Tanya's clan tomorrow."
He scowled. "You know how Rose hates running to Alaska."
I shrugged. "Poor you." My tone held no kind of sympathy or sorrow in it, and he sighed.
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you either Alice,' Edward commented.
"Well it's just as well worrying suits you, because you spend all day sitting in it," I retorted. Emmett smiled, and I heard a low growl echo from where he was sitting.
I danced upstairs, smiling to myself. Edward was so fun to annoy.
Then the phone rang.
I froze, furrowing my brow in confusion. Why hadn't I seen this? Usually anything concerning the house I saw.
Oh. That was not good.
"Edward!" I screamed. "Edward, give me the phone!"
He'd picked it up, pressing it to his ear. "Hello?" he asked carefully, his expression quickly morphing to one of concern.
I sprinted downstairs and tore the phone from his hand. "Yes Angela?" I asked, trying to hear her through the background noise. Everyone was shouting, there was loud music playing-they were at Laurens party. Of course.
"Alice?" she asked. "Look, never mind. I need you guys to come here. Something's happened to Bella-"
"I'll be right there," I promised her, snapping the phone shut and turning around. Edward was frozen in stress, his eyes boring into mine.
"What happened?" he asked lowly.
I shook my head. 'Doesn't matter. Can you call Carlisle? We need him to-"
"What happened?" he shouted, flying at me. I gasped as his hands locked around my neck and pushed me against the wall. "Alice! What happened to her! Tell me! I know you know!"
"Edward!" Suddenly Emmett was at his side, pulling him away from me. "Calm down."
He snarled, the grisly noise filling the kitchen. "Goddammit Alice!" I was mildly shocked; I'd never hear him curse before. "Just tell me what happened to her! I need to know."
I shook my head again. "I don't know," I replied, trying frantically to see into the future. Everything was so fuzzy, it was impossible to make out an image. It was giving me a headache again.
"Bullshit you don't!" he snarled. I jerked back in surprise, scared of him now. "Tell me what happened.
He was still now, Emmett holding his arms behind his back. Edward wasn't fighting him-he was close enough to me to hear whatever I had to say. I shook my head once more and slipped past the two of them. "I'll bring her back to the house. I just need Carlisle here," I whispered, sliding into the garage. The keys were on the wall-I took my father's Mercedes and sped out the driveway.
"786 Youfil Street," I repeated to myself as I drove along. "786 Youfil Street."
I still had no idea what I was going to face once I got there. It was only the urgency in Angela's voice that alerted me to the possibility we might need a doctor. Bella's future had disappeared the moment she got into that house. Everything was too soon, every decision a last minute one, which made it extremely hard to see anything. For the first time in my life, I had to actually face the fact I had no idea what would happen.
When I got onto Youfil Street, Laurens house was easy to spot. It was lit up, and the front yard was full of people either staggering about drunkenly or passed out on the grass. Trepidation welled up within me. Bella couldn't be one of those. She'd confided to me that she'd never had any alcohol minutes before she went off to the party. For her to get heavily drunk like this would be utter stupidity on her and her friend's part. It was their job to look out for her.
I swung into the driveway, and quickly got out of the car, slamming the door as I did so. "Angela?" I called, my nervousness easily showing in my voice.
A drunken male staggered up to me. "HI beautiful," he slurred, attempting to kiss me.
I pushed him off, disgusted, and began to make my way through the house. "Angela?" I called again, trying to battle the volume of the music with my lone voice. "Angela?"
"Who invited you?" I heard Jessica ask. She was drunk as well. "You know you're not accepted," she continued, trying to slap me, but her hand could hardly lift itself.
I shook my head in disgust. "God Jessica,' I said, "look at yourself. Why did you do this to you?"
"Why don't you go and die in a hole?" she answered, her words running together. I could smell the alcohol in her bloodstream quite easily-she'd consumed far too much than was safe.
Then again, so had pretty much everyone else at this party.
I left her as she slumped against the wall, screaming out obscenities at me. My eyes quickly darted around the room as I attempted to find the two people I was here to pick up.
I didn't find them, although I did see a door. Pushing my way through the crowd-the guys trying to flirt with me, the girls bitching about me-I burst the door open to find a more subdued area of the party. Here was a staircase, leading upstairs to god-knows-what, and a ton of people milling around it. Thankfully though, it was easy to spot Angela and Bella. They were the only two here not making out or feeling each other up.
My lips parted in an o of shock as I observed the position in which they were in. Angela was leaning over Bella, while my soon-to-be sister was slumped across her lap, her eyes wide and unseeing.
I walked over to them as fast as humanly possible, scooping Bella up into my arms. "Oh Bella, what did you do?" I whispered.
"I would have driven herself home myself-an" Angela began to offer as means of explanations, but one whiff of her breath already told me the answer. Although she had been responsible with her drinking, she wasn't in a condition to drive.
"I'll take you home," I told her. She got up unsteadily, swaying on her feet. I yearned to offer out an arm to help her, but I was already carrying Bella in both, and it would look more than mildly suspicious if I slung her across my shoulder.
"What happened?" I asked Angela as we began to make our way back through the partygoers. Hopefully she was at least sober enough to retain some of her memory.
"She went off with Lauren and Jessica," she began, starting to cry as she spoke the words, "and I found her like this. I don't know what they've given her-"
"-There were drugs here?" I exclaimed, my eyes wide open in shock.
She nodded timidly,
"Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, Edward isn't going to be happy," I muttered, my hold tightening on Bella's limp frame. Her eyes swillvialed around to be and she began to laugh.
I looked over to Angela for an explanation.
She shrugged. "I-I don't know. She's done that a couple of times, but it doesn't usually last long. A lot of the time it just ends up that she can't breathe while she's doing it and then she'll stop."
"Great," I said under my breath. "Now Bella can't even breathe."
We got to the car quickly enough, and I slid her in the backseat. Angela got in the other side of her, propping up Bella's head on her lap. I quickly reversed out of the driveway, screeching down the tarmac street.
"How much have you had?" I asked, turning my attention to Angela. I hoped my question came out like a concerned friend and not a scolding mother, but I'd never really had to deal with this before.
She flinched. "I-I don't know," she admitted softly. "Not much though. Only a few cups."
"What was it?" I demanded my tone harsh. "Why can't you guys ever drink properly?"
She flinched back again, and I immediately regretted my words. "Sorry," I tried again, softer this time. "But you're the most sober person I've seen at that party. It's not that hard, surely, to keep control of what you drink."
"You talk as if you've never consumed a drop of alcohol in your life," she observed bitterly. "You can't make judgements then."
I clenched my teeth. There was a very good reason why I hadn't consumed any alcohol. It had to do with the fact I was a vampire!
A low moan filled the car. "Bella?" I asked urgently. "Bella, can you hear me?"
She started to twitch slightly, her hands shaking and her body convulsing softly. It was hard to pick up with a humans eyes, but to me, it seemed like every movement was a stab in the heart.
"Are you sure you don't know what she's had?" I asked through clenched teeth. At that moment I pulled into the Cullen drive, sending dirt spraying up as the car skidded with the force I put on the breaks.
Edward came sprinting out of the house, somehow managing to maintain a human speed through all the worry he was putting himself in. He wrenched open the door, and carefully cradled Bella in his arms.
"What happened?" He was tense, his eyes only focused on me. "Alice, what happened?"
"I don't know!" I answered. "I wasn't there to see." Having Angela here really had its downside. I hated having to monitor my words.
Edward's teeth snapped together, but before he could retort, Carlisle spoke. "Bring her in here Edward," he commanded softly.
We shared a weighted look, before he nodded, glancing back to Angela once as we walked into the house. Before I could ask any questions about that, Esme was already beside me, her hand held out of the keys.
"I'll take her home," she offered. "The poor girl's already been through more than enough."
I nodded and dropped the keys into her hand. She easily slipped into Carlisle's Mercedes and pulled out of the driveway slowly, talking to Angela in a comforting tone as she did.
Carlisle was already in the longue room, sitting down, his head rested on his clenched hands. Once we got in there though, he immediately got up and came over to us, silently pleading with Edward to hand Bella over.
He agreed uneasily, and Bella's limp form easily slid into Carlisle's arms. He looked down at her, quickly transferring her to ht couch.
"Alice, do you know what she had?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm sand controlled.
"What does everyone keep asking me that?" I exclaimed. "I couldn't see! I wasn't there either!"
His eyes flickered up to me once, before returning to Bella. I watched as he pressed his fingers gently against her neck, monitoring her slow pulse rate.
Bella's hand twitched, and Edward lurched towards her. "Bella?" he asked, hoping that she might have regained consciousness.
Carlisle quickly shined a pen light in her eyes. "Bella? Bella, can you hear me? Blink twice if you can?"
There was no response. Carlisle clenched his teeth, and, putting away his light, quickly gathered her up into his arms. "Alice, can you call the hospital? She needs to get her stomach pumped."
"Alcohol poisoning," Edward no doubt echoed Carlisle's thoughts.
Carlisle nodded grimly. "And something else. Probably some form of LSD. Alice, do you know if there were drugs there?"
"Angela said there was, but Bella was with Jessica the whole time, and when I found Jessica, she didn't have a trace of any illicit drug on her," I answered. "Bella wouldn't be as stupid to do that though."
"It's most likely her judgement was impended by the amount of alcohol she received. Plus, there is the fact that someone may have spiked her drink," he commented, beginning to make his way to Edward's car. I slid in the backseat, my hands over Bella, trying to stop her tremors.
"Alice?' Edward asked tersely.
I nodded. "I'm doing it now."
Pulling out my phone, I quickly dialled the number. A perky receptionist picked up the phone. "Hello, this is Forks Hospital, Sally speaking. If you are calling to get in contact with any of our staff, I cannot help you. If you are calling to get an ambulance out, I highly suggest you call 911. If you are calling to check up on a patient, hit 2-"
"-We just need to have some doctors ready and on call!" I interrupted her, getting sick of the multiple options she was providing me. Honestly, by the time she finished going through all those, the person I was calling about may have died!
A long silence followed .Then "Excuse me? Who is this?'
"Alice Cullen," I answered, putting the emphasis on my last name. "Doctor Carlisle Cullen's daughter?"
"Oh, well of course then," she answered, quite obviously flustered. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I'll get Doctor Snow to be ready and waiting."
"Thank you," I snapped at her, flipping the phone shut. "Carlisle, are all your receptionists like that?"
"They're just doing their job Alice." He eyed me disapprovingly. "You don't need to be so mean to them."
"Well who told them to say all that?" I demanded.
"It doesn't matter!" Edward cut us both off. "Look at Bella. That's what we should be focusing on."
I sighed. "Well what can we do at the moment to help her?" Quite obviously, there wasn't a stomach pump in the car, so I was stuck.
Carlisle answered me. 'If you keep her head propped up, and just monitor her breathing, it would help more then you'd know Alice," he answered. I awkwardly got her body up, her chest leaning against mine. The way her body slumped against mine scared me more than anything else.
"What about her tremors?" Edward's voice was full of agony as he leaned back to look at her. "Can't we stop them?"
"Unfortunately, no," Carlisle answered, his hands tightening around the steering wheel. "Not until we actually can get her stomach pumped. And Edward, I want you to stay out of the room for that."
"That's not happening," he growled. "I've seen them happening before Carlisle. I'll be fine."
We pulled up into the parking lot of Forks Hospital. Carlisle levelled his gaze on Edward. "You will stay out of the room." He spoke slowly, and with an authority I had never heard before.
Before Edward could answer, Carlisle got out of the car and took Bella into his arms, carrying her into the hospital. An orderly with a stretcher rushed out, and Bella was gently placed on that, getting wheeled into the hospital.
I got out of the car and ran to catch up to them, following Carlisle. "I want to stay in," I said. "I didn't see it, I should have seen it. It's my fault she's here."
"It's not your fault," he gently rebuked me. 'You can stay if you want though. I'll be the only one administering the solution."
I nodded, and followed him as my sister was wheeled into another room. Once she was there, and the orderly left, Carlisle whirred into action, hooking up a tube to a black box and grabbing a clear solution from a cabinet.
"You might want to look away," he offered apologetically, before opening Bella's mouth and beginning to insert the tube, ever so gently, down her throat.
I pressed my hand against my mouth as I watched the procedure. It was nausea-inducing just to watch it, and I suddenly found myself wishing I could actually throw up. It was a thick, clear, plastic tube Carlisle was pushing into her mouth, and Bella was refusing to swallow it. I smiled, despite the contasnt churning of my stomach. She always was a stubborn creature.
"Finally," Carlisle muttered. He unhooked the tube from the box, poured the liquid down it, and quickly rehooked it back up, waiting a couple of minutes before turning it on. "Alice, if you were a normal parent of the patient, I'd advise you to go and wait outside. As it is though, I'm still advising you to do the same. Stomach pumping isn't a good procedure to watch."
"She shouldn't even have to get it pumped," I murmured. "I should have been able to see it."
"Don't blame yourself," he answered. "Bella should have had the common sense to keep herself in check. No one expects you to see everything."
I shook my head. "I still should have seen it," I whispered. Suddenly, a shriek erupted from me as I watched liquid beginning to come back up from the tube. Carlisle looked back at me immediately, concern filling his golden eyes.
"You should go," he said quietly. 'I don't want you here if you can't handle it."
"No, I can," I protested, forcing myself to look at Bella's fragile form. "I was just...taken by surprise, that's all."
He regarded me for a moment more, before turning back to Bella, giving his silent permission. I ghosted over to her side, taking her hand in mine. To my surprise it was warm and clammy, more than normal. I noted that the tremors had stopped though.
"When do you think she'll wake up?" I asked, depression beginning to overtake me as I noted just how out of it she really was.
Carlisle inhaled slowly, knitting his hands together. "I don't know."
And that scared me more than anything else I had seen tonight.
I was down at the cafeteria with Jasper when the vision came. She was opening her eyes, Carlisle and Edward at her sides. They were glazed over, but she was recognizing them. She was going to be alright.
Jasper turned to me, curious. "What's happened?" he asked, grabbing my hand to get my attention.
I paid for the food absentmindedly, a smile spreading over my face. Relief filled my whole body. "She's going to wake up," I answered. "She'll be fine."
Jasper and Esme had arrived a few hours after Carlisle had emptied Bella's stomach. We'd all been waiting outside Bella's room (with the exception of Carlisle and occasionally Edward.) I could see the stress and worry was getting to Jasper, so I suggested we went and got some food to ease suspicion. Now that I was here though, I could hardly wait to go back upstairs.
We went around the back of the hospital, dumping the food in an alleyway. No doubt some vermin would be happy to find it tonight, and no doubt Forks Hospital would be annoyed with us for attracting rats. I clung onto Jaspers arm, bouncing up and down with excitement. He laughed. 'Hold on Alice," he drawled, leading me up a back flight of stairs.
"I'm so excited though!" I protested. "She's going to wake up. And I can finally see her. Finally!"
He smiled. "Well, you'll get there soon enough Alice. I doubt you're going to miss anything if you aren't there the very second she opens her eyes."
"But I want to be," I wheedled. "Please?"
He laughed. "Maybe," he replied, not promising me anything.
I'd usually scowl, but at the moment I was just too excited to. I burst into the room, dragging Jasper behind me until we reached Esme.
'Edward in there again?" Jasper asked. Esme confirmed it, and I bounced on my feet, waiting in anticipation of when her eyes would finally open.
"Alice, calm down," Esme softly rebuked me. "What did you see?"
"She's going to open her eyes any second now," I answered giddily. Jaspers hands came down on my shoulders, stilling my form. I twisted around and poked my tongue out at him. "Stop being such a party pooper."
"I've never hear you use that term before,' he remarked lightly. I spun back around, facing the door, eager to finally see when she woke up. Unfortunately, the thing was shut.
'Can I come in Carlisle?" I whined. "Please please please please please!"
"No." His answer was short, and it made Esme stifle a giggle. I glared at her for a short moment before continuing to plead with Carlisle.
"Please please please please please! I'll be good, I swear," I told him, pouting. "Please let me see my sister."
A brief silence followed. Edward, tell him I'm getting in there! I mentally shouted.
"No," he chuckled, probably answering Carlisle.
"Fine," Carlisle sighed. "Come on Alice."
I squealed and ran in, barely pausing to open the door. A dismal scene greeted me, much the contrast to my happiness.
"Stop being so sad!' I scolded Edward. "You've seen the vision. She's going to wake up anytime soon. Look, I can almost see her opening her eyes now."
This comment seemed to wake up Edward. 'Bella?" He was immediately more alert, his eyes snapping onto hers. "Bella? Can you hear me?"
She moaned, and sluggishly tried to roll over.
"See!" I exclaimed. "I told you Edward."
"Goddammit," she muttered, her words running together in her drowsiness. "Why are you so hyper?"
"I'm Alice." It should have been obvious just from those two words. Evidentially, someone wasn't on the ball today.
She opened her eyes a bit. Before immediately throwing her arm against her eyes. "And why is it so bright in here."
"You're in the hospital Bella,' Carlisle gently informed her, placing a hand on her upper arm.
She moaned, scrunching her eyes again. 'Why in god's name am I here? God, what the hell happened last night? I can't remember anything." Her voice was a low drone, indecipherable to most ears, but even I could only just make it out myself.
"Bella, you were at Laurens birthday party." Edward's voice was torn, agonised, and he clenched his fist, letting it lie on the bed.
"I guessed that much," she answered. "But how did I get from there to here." She attempted to open her eyes again, but was quickly overwhelmed by the bright light and shut them again, letting out a low, pained, whine.
"Do you remember anything after arriving?" Edward asked her again.
"God no!" she snapped. "I already told you that! Can't you hear anymore?"
I stifled a giggle, and was rewarded by two very sharp looks from Edward and Carlisle. Bella was a bitch when she was hung over.
"You consumed an abnormally large amount of alcohol while you were there-"Carlisle began to explain, but Bella waved her hand around, cutting him off.
"-So that's why I have this god awful headache. Alice, remind me never to do that again." I decided I quite liked Bella when she was like this. She was fun.
"I wasn't planning on it ever happening again," Edward whispered to her, pressing a kiss on her forehead and wincing as he did. Bella's scent still hadn't been completely cleared of the alcohol and drugs masking it.
"Bella, you had to get your stomach pumped," Carlisle finished. "It seems you had taken a hallungenic drug as well as alcohol poisoning, which would have landed you in here anyway. You've only just woken up."
"Ew," she muttered. "I hate stomach pumping."
Carlisle paused, cursiosity flickering in his features. "You've had this done before?" He struggled to keep his tone calm as his eyes quickly glanced up to meet Edwards.
I was curious as well. I never put Bella as a kind of heavy drinker. There wasn't much else that could really land you in here to have that kind of procedure done, really. Was there? I didn't know.
"Just a couple of times." She coughed hoarsely, reaching her hand up to rub her throat. "Isn't there some sort of charcoal thing I'm meant to be having right now?"
"I think we got all of it out of your system," Carlisle chuckled, but his mood quickly sobered. "What were you in here for?"
"Well, there was once as a baby-" She counted it off on her fingers-"Renee forgot to lock up some of the cleaners or something, and apparently, I decided I had a taste for bleach and methylated sprits. The second time-"She paused, her brow creasing as she though-"I don't know. It was something about...something. I can't remember. It was too long ago now."
"So this is the first time you've been in for drinking." Carlisle seemed immensely relieved, and I rolled my eyes. I could have told him that easily.
She nodded, and then moaned. "Damm this headache. Can't I take some Tylenol or something?"
I laughed. "Nope Bella. You're stuck like this."
"What Alice means," Edward cut in, shooting me a dark look, "is that we can't give you any more drugs. Until we're absolutely certain all traces of LSD are out of your system-"
"LSD?" Bella shrieked, and then groaned as the action, consequently, aggravated her headache. "OH crap. What's Charlie going to say?"
"We haven't told him yet Bella," Carlisle answered gently. "You have the choice if you want, seeming as you are an adult now."
She chuckled. "Haha. I'm an adult. Oh god..."
I suppressed a smile. "Yes Bella. You are eighteen, last time I knew. I'm assuming you haven't aged backwards last night."
"God I hope not," she mumbled. "Is there any way we can get the lights turned down in here?"
"Maybe seeing them will motivate you not to do it again," Edward murmured softly.
He was instantly rewarded with a slap in the face.
I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing, clutching my sides with the force of it. Edward's expression was...priceless. It was a mixture of shock, hurt, and amusement at the same time. And I would have never thought that Bella would ever slap Edward.
"Oh my god," I gasped out. "Bella, you have to do that again sometime. Promise me you will."
"Only if you turn out these freakin' lights," she muttered, rolling over and pressing her face into the pillow.
Edward glared at me. Sorry Edward, but that was something I have to see again. I flicked the switch, plunging the room into immediate blackness. "Deal," I laughed, gliding back to Bella's side.
"Jasper, Esme, come in," Edward murmured softly. In an instant a scarred arm slipped around my waist, pulling me to my mate.
"What's so funny?" Jasper asked, suppressing a smile.
"Bella slapped Edward," I told him, somehow managing to quell my laughs.
He looked over at Edward with a raised eyebrow. "Wish I was in here to see that," he commented dryly.
"Oh, don't worry, she'll do it again," I said. At this Edward clenched his teeth and turned back to Bella, ignoring us, bar a single growl under his breath. She will Edward, you know that. Bella's not one for breaking promises.
He didn't respond. I laughed once, before Bella's hand closed around an object and she threw it in the general direction of my head.
"Bella," Edward said disapprovingly.
"Go away," she muttered. "Jesus Christ, my goddamn head!"
"I'll go," I offered, seeing as no one else was moving. "Come on Jasper. I'll race you home."
I led him out of the room. "What does the winner get?" he asked softly as we walked down to the entrance.
I smirked. "Anything they want."
And with one peck on the cheek, I was gone.
A/N As I've never drunk myself, or ever seen someone's stomach being pumped, some facts in here are sure to be wrong. Let's just call it literacy licence :)
Any facts that are right, are courtesy of Google (And no, I don't own that either)
mars
