A/N: A reviewer was wondering where I got the title from. It's in the Deathly Hallows, where Harry said Hermione had tightly knotted her limbs and was furious at Ron...


"Oh!" Hermione shrieked, "Ron! You're back! You came back! You…you…I love you!"

She flew at him, threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately. Ron returned the kiss with much vigour, and Harry had to stick his head out of the tent for a few seconds so he could vomit onto the snow.

When he pulled his head back in, he saw Hermione and Ron were still wrestling with each other's mouths.

"Excuse me," said Harry, feeling decidedly ill, "But I'm all wet and cold here."

"Be quiet Harry," Hermione snapped, "You're not very important at the moment."

And she went back to sucking Ronald's face.

"Where's my wand Hermione?" Harry asked tiredly, and his best friend reluctantly tore herself away long enough to say, "I broke it, now shut up and sit in a corner quietly like a good little boy or leave!"

"She—she's right Harry," Ron stammered, "Just—just stand it for a mo, mate…" He trailed off, looking everywhere but at Harry while Hermione glared, thunderous, obviously impatient to resume her previous occupation and evidently thinking Harry's interruption was rude, obnoxious, and utterly tactless.

"Is..is this a joke?" Harry asked, wondering if perhaps his two best friends had been taken while he wasn't looking, and wishing he had his wand on him.

Hermione exploded, "THIS. IS NOT. FUNNY! Now if you can't act like a normal person when you see two moonlit lovers, whom fate has cruelly separated, reunite, then run along home and Ron and I will get rid of Voldemort together…after our souls intertwine thoroughly."

"Y-yeah," was all Ron had to add.

Harry could not believe his ears, did not want to believe his eyes, and thought he might be going mad. So he stormed out of the tent, only to crash into a very tall somebody who was apparently trying to sneak up on the tent undetected.

"Out of my way," Harry snarled, "Don't you see I'm trying to sulk in private?"

"Harry Potter," Voldemort hissed sibilantly, "So sorry to intrude on your moment. I was just coming down for a friendly visit to see how you are doing and ultimately kill you."

Harry panicked. "Hermione! Hermione! My wand, quick, my wand!"

"WHAT?" Hermione bellowed.

"Now, now," Ron said soothingly, "It's just jumped-up, stuck-up Harry Potter outside. He's not worth getting so worked up over."

"You're right, Ronsie-baby," Hermione agreed, her voice sugary sweet, and suction noises then emanated from the tent.

"But Hermione!" screamed Harry, "It's Voldemort! VOLDEMORT!"

"My dear boy," Voldemort said genially, "There's no need to get so excited. All I was going to do was kill you as I should have done seventeen years ago."

"He's going to kill me Hermione," Harry yelped.

There was an angry noise from inside the tent and Hermione appeared through the flap, dragging Ron behind her.

"STOP INTERRUPTING US!" she screamed, released Ron, grabbed Harry and the Dark Lord, and dragged them inside. She conjured up two stools and shoved her friend and the Darkest Wizard of the Age onto them.

"Time out!" she screeched. With a huff, she snagged Ron by his collar, and proceeded to shove her tongue down his throat as far as it would possibly go. Harry was violently ill, as was Voldemort. Every time either accidently caught a glimpse of Ron and Hermione's 'kissing', they would be sick all over the floor.

It came to the point where they were expelling organs, and that was how both Harry Potter (known as the Boy-Who-Lived and the Chosen One) and Lord Voldemort (also known as Tom Marvolo Riddle, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, or You-Know-Who) met their ends.

Ron and Hermione were oblivious to the fates of two of the most renowned wizards in Britain and went right on snogging.