N: Hello there, anyone still here? It has been ages since I posted anything. If anyone from the 'old gang' is still there, drop me a line! It would be great to catch up.

First line of business, this AN will be long, brace yourselves!

Second, I am very sorry to all the people still waiting for an update on any of my stories. I just want you to know I didn't give up on them. The ones I did give up on will be taken down within the next few days (if that is the case for a story of mine you're following, I am really sorry, but it means I had completely lost all interest and inspiration for said story and will not happen. I assure you I had tried, for all of them). If I am not taking down the story you are following by the end of next week, it means it will still be finished (it might take years, but I will finish it).

Third, the reason you are reason I am here now. I was going through my stories a few months ago, one of them being "I'm FINE" which I have now taken down. I realized I still liked the idea and plot of the story, but it wasn't too well written (one of my first fics and all). So I decided to re-write it and finish it (which I have now done so).

The story is set somewhere in season 2 of The Vampire Diaries (from episode Rose – if I am not mistaken – the one where Damon confesses is love for Elena and then compels her to forget). Characters are slightly OOC because of course they are, or it wouldn't be fan-fiction.

This is the first chapter (duh!) a new one will be posted every week on Thursday or Friday. They are all already finished, I simply have to find time to go over them one last time before delivering them to you (if anyone is still there reading). I feel like I have to finish and post this, mostly because of those few people who invested their time in the story "I'm Fine" and never got to read the ending. The first 15 chapters are the ones that have been already on as "I'm Fine" but with A LOT of changes. Also I decided to change the title, because I thought this one fits the story (after all the editing) better.

I must remind everyone there: reviews are really an extraordinary thing for writers. Something you take a minute to write down will mean a lot for an author for the rest of their lives. So, do take a minute to leave your thoughts, good or bad!

Yeah…so, here we go!

Something on my mind

As I sat down on the bed, I felt a familiar weight around my neck. I lifted my hand and immediately felt the cold chain of my necklace hanging there. Right where it belonged – even though it had been gone – and I had no idea how I got it back. There was a strange, emptiness inside of me, and for some reason I felt incredibly sad. A feeling that had something to do with the magical appearance of my necklace. The feeling came out of nowhere and threw me off-balance for a second. I felt as if I should've remembered something. Something important. A memory should've been pinned to this feelings I had, but I couldn't remember. I searched and searched into my foggy mind, but with no result. And just like that I knew that I had been compelled to forget. But what exactly did I need to forget? And more important yet, who wanted me to forget something? My brain immediately went to work. Let's see, who was a vampire; who was a vampire and was able to get inside of my house? There was Stefan, of course – but why would he compel me to forget something? There was no harm in bringing me back the necklace that he, himself, gave me. I was still a hundred per cent sure the person who compelled me had also brought back my necklace. Then there was Katherine, but she was stuck in the tomb. So no, not her either. Caroline? No, my friend would've had no possible reason to do that. As is, she was one of the most honest people I knew. And then I thought of Damon, and with his name the strange feeling came back. At that moment I knew. It had to have been him. I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, or force me into something I didn't want to do, but why did he compel me? What could he have possibly said – or done – that he felt the need to take away from me after? I eventually fell asleep, trying to remember. I didn't.

Same night, boarding house:

"Well, hello there, little brother. Where are you coming from, this late at night? Don't tell me you killed Bambi's mum again!" Stefan ignored the heavily sarcastic comment from Damon, and just looked at him curiously.

"What's with the suitcase, are you leaving?"

"No, I just decided that I needed a change in my wardrobe, and now I'm giving away my old stuff." It was said in a dry, deadpan voice, and he rolled his eyes for good measure. Stefan had always been good at stating the obvious. Capitan Obvious should've been his name.

"I thought we were going to protect Elena. Together!"

"She's not mine to protect, Stef!" There was something in Damon's voice that made all the alarms in Stefan's head go off. Was his brother up to something? This question could wait though, there were more important thing to figure out at the moment. For him, at least. He didn't know exactly what that said about him, but he had started to rely on his brother. No matter what had happened or will happen between them, he knew Damon will always look after Elena. With a shiver of shame running through his body, Stefan admitted to himself that he was counting on his older brother to make the tough choices. He had been for a while. He was hoping to be able to let Damon be the bad guy.

"I thought she was your friend," he tried tentatively.

"I thought you wanted me gone? You certainly tried to get rid of me hard enough."

"I do or, I did…" true, Damon being gone would certainly make things easier for Stefan. For once, he will no longer need to compete for Elena's affections. Yes, he was aware of how pathetic he sounded, but he couldn't help it. Even back in the day, concerning Katherine, he wondered why she keep Damon around even though she had been with him. He had been young and naïve. Judging by the way she looked at him, he had thought she had loved him. So why did she need Damon for? What had Stefan lacked? The same question lingered in his mind for weeks when Katherine came back to Mystic Falls and declared that she had always loved him. If she had only ever loved him and only him, why be with Damon at all? Not to mention the fact that more than once now he noticed Elena's gaze linger on his brother a little longer than necessary. He might not be as strong as his brother but he was strong enough to hear Elena's heart skip a beat when she looked in Damon's direction. So yes, Damon being gone and out of the way was in his best interest, but he was still his brother. They had just worked out a fragile truce. A way to move forward, a rocky path towards reconciliation. Thanks to Elena mostly.

"Well, I'm going, whether you want me to, or not. Take care of her brother! Oh, and don't call me, unless something really important comes up. We are talking life or death here, not your teenage crises." Damon said, pulling Stefan out of his thoughts. Then he handed his brother a piece of paper. "Here is my new number, no one but you has it. If you give it to anyone else. And I do mean anyone, I will come back and snap your neck for the next ten years just for fun."

Stefan took the paper and nodded.

Damon took a long look at his brother, and then, using his vampire speed, he took off. He drove for hours before checking into a motel in a small village, barely believing that he had actually left. He told Elena he loved her, and then he took it away. He knew it was better that way; she didn't belong with him, she belonged with his brother. He was the good one. The information was too much, it wasn't her metaphorical cross to bear. Damon knew that Elena knowing about his feelings for her would only make things worse. Make her feel guilty even though it was in no way her fault. Everything between them would've changed and Damon wasn't sure he was ready for that. Leaving seemed like the only way to go.

Elena house (E's pov):

I woke up with a headache from hell. My head was pounding and it felt as if heavy fog was hovering over my mind. With a loud growl, I got out of the bed and decided to take a shower. Maybe it would help chase away the pain.

The shower didn't help though, so as I got out of the bathroom my head was still pounding. It hurt everywhere and nowhere. That, along with the memory that kept on eluding me, were driving me crazy. I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to confront Damon. Ask him to undo whatever he did to me, make me remember; because whatever it was, I felt like I needed to know. I got dressed quickly, and I was sure I broke several traffic-laws on my way to the boarding house. When I got there, I ran towards the door, and knocked. Stefan opened the door.

"Stefan, hi," I said a bit surprised. In my rush to get to Damon, I had simply forgotten Stefan would be there.

"Hey, Elena, I didn't know you planned on coming over today."

"I just decided this morning." For a second, I wanted to tell Stefan about Damon's compulsion, but changed my mind as soon as the thought took form. Somehow this seemed more like something that needed to stay just between Damon and me. At least for now. Plus, Stefan might overreact. He tended to do that, especially where Damon was concerned. "Is Damon here?" I went on.

"Damon? No, he's not."

The grim expression on Stefan's face got me worried. Unlike his brother, Stefan didn't usually bother to mask his feelings. However at the mention of Damon's name, he seemed to struggle not to react. Odd.

"What's wrong?" I asked, the feeling of dread already settling in my stomach.

"He… he left, Elena. Damon left." He said letting the words out along with a deep sigh.

"What do you mean he left, where?" the panic that took over my entire being through me off for a minute. I didn't know exactly what to do with myself. Was I supposed to feel this strongly about Damon's departure? Always the good girl, always trying to react the way people expected me to. What else was new?

"I don't know, he didn't tell me."

"And you just let him go?" I yelled, again allowing the emotions to take over for a split second.

"It's Damon, it's not like I can make him change his mind once he's set on something. What do you need him for anyway?"

"Nothing important, I just wanted to ask him something."

"Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset when I told you he left." Wasn't I supposed to? We were friends, sort of. He had saved my life more than once and I his. We had a… connection (connection was a safe word right?). Whatever the hell that meant? I wasn't sure where that 'connection' ended and something else began.

"I just… I don't know," I hesitated, not sure if I should go on. I didn't want Stefan to get the wrong idea. What was the wrong idea anyway? I cared about Damon and he knew that. I made no secret of it. God, why was this so weird? "I had the impression he wanted to stick around," I finally said. There, that was safe.

"Yeah, me too."

I couldn't believe he left. When he first got into town, that's all I wanted him to do, and he wouldn't. Now he was gone. Just like that. Just when I got used with the idea of him sticking around. Moreover, when I needed him to be here. I had a feeling that his departure might've had something to do with what he told me or did to me and compelled me to forget. Now more than ever I wanted to know what that was. What could've made Damon Salvatore run? Damon might be many things, a coward however, was not one of them.

"Elena, are you even listening to me? "Stefan's voice distracted me from my thoughts. I looked up at him. He looked confused. Not that I could blame him.

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you just said." (was thinking about your brother)

"I asked you if you want to come inside."

"No, I can't, I just came to_"

"See Damon, yeah, I got that," he interrupted me. There was a slight taint of annoyance in his voice that for some reason rubbed me the wrong way. So I had wanted to talk to his brother, what was the problem?

"Something like that. I promised Caroline I'll meet her at The Grill."

"Ok well, if you promised… I guess I'll see you_"

"Tomorrow," I interrupted him. I turned around, and walked to my car, not even realizing that I didn't even give him a kiss, or something as simple as a hug. But then again, we were on a break.

"Later," Stefan continued watching me go, but it was too late, even though I heard him, I was no longer paying attention. Other thoughts and questions took over my brain.

I got to the Grill and like always at this time of the day, it was crowded and noisy. I didn't like it, but it didn't exactly bother me that much either. I had more pressing matters on my mind. I spotted Caroline waiting for me at a table in the corner and immediately made my way towards her.

"Elena, thank God you're ok!" She gave me a long embrace as I wondered what she meant. Why wouldn't I be ok? Oh, right, I had been kidnapped, like, yesterday. I almost forgot. How odd that the fact that I had been kidnapped and almost died slipped my mind.

"I'm fine, Caroline, don't worry." I smiled, hopping that the gesture would reassure Caroline and she wouldn't keep talking about it. I wasn't particularly looking forward to reliving those moments. Feeling so scared, so helpless. It had sucked.

"I'll go get us drinks," she said to me, already dismissing her worries as she took my smile and words as proof that I was okay.

"Can you like, make the bartender give me something stronger than an apple juice?"

Caroline gave me a strange look, but she did as I asked anyway. It had been ages since I specifically asked for alcohol. She came back five minutes later with a beer for me and a gin for her.

"So, what_"

"Damon left." I cut her off mid-sentence before drinking half the beer in one breath. The taste of beer reminded me of my trip to Georgia with Damon so many moons ago.

"What do you mean, left? Like, never coming back kind of left? Or more like, he will be back soon left?"

"I don't know. He told Stefan not to call him and he didn't say where he was going."

"So that's what brought about the day-drinking thing." Caroline said raising an eyebrow. "I'm sure he'll be back, Elena, he cares about you, and he wouldn't leave you like that. He knows the kind of danger you are in. After all, he did just save you from kidnapers just yesterday." She continued and I was relived to not have to answer the raised brow that could only mean trouble.

"I'm not so sure about that," I dismissed her theory with my hand. "Can I ask you something?" I asked.

She nodded. "Sure."

"Last night, Damon came to see me - I don't remember, but I know it was him. I'm pretty sure he compelled me. Don't ask me how I know, I just do." I paused for a few seconds. Since the blonde vampire in front of me didn't comment, I decided to proceed with my question. "Can you like, undo it, so that I would be able to remember?"

Caroline shook her head. "I'm sorry Elena, but I can't. A vampire is not able to undo a compulsion made by another, only if the one who made it was very weak. In that case, the compulsion is sort of incomplete, so you can undo it with some persuasion. Compulsion is one of Damon's strongest assets, there is no way I could undo it. Sorry."

"Weak? Like Stefan?" I asked, and felt guilty for voicing out loud that I thought of him as week. I instantly remembered Vicky and then having to ask Damon to compel my brother instead of Stefan. It was only by comparison that Stefan came up short. Not that this made it better.

"Yes."

I looked around me, the bar was packed, but somehow, it seemed empty. We talked for another hour about things that left my mind as soon as I stood up, and as I went home afterwards. I couldn't shake the now so familiar feeling that I lost something precious. No matter how hard I tried, that lost memory was eating me up. Deep down, I knew that given the opportunity, I will do anything to get it back.

N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, see you next time! A good day to y'all