Title: Then You Are A Fool
Rating: T for implied violence
Words: 528
Summary: A friend put tags on Tumblr that said: #loki would destroy your little self insert character #can there be a fanfic about that? #where loki just obliterates all of his fangirls?" Well, this is Loki... destroying fangirls.
Warning: It's crack... dark crack.
"And whom exactly are you?" Loki stared in mild shock at the sight in front of him.
Women; dozens of them, all watching him with wide eyes. Several with their mouths hung open in a highly unladylike fashion. They were wearing his clothes- some his helmet, others what appeared to be make shift staffs; most with tunics which contained some form of portrait of his face or his name.
Finally, a woman from the crowd pushed her way forward. He assumed she was their leader. She was the most decorated; her wardrobe nearly identical to his in every form possible. Loki's features twisted in disgust that a mere useless mortal would dare mimic him. She stopped in front of him, looking upward with appalling admiration.
"State yourself," he commanded and stepped back to distance himself from the creature.
"Is it you?" she whispered hopefully.
"I am Loki of Asgard" he stated loudly, "and I command you to inform me of your name."
The mortal's eyes glossed over (as did the rest, he noted) momentarily before she blinked and grinned.
"Loki of Asgard, I think I speak for the rest of us when I say it is an honor to finally meet you." She giggled and started to cry much to his confusion, "Sorry it's just, we love you so much, all of us! Oh my god, it's you, I just- I can't- Oh I love you so much. Can we join your army? Oh Loki," then she did the unthinkable- she ran up and hugged him.
The other women took their queue and ran up to him as well, trying their best to wrap their arms around him or merely touch him. They were all weeping disgustingly; Loki was in mild shock for a moment.
"Get off of me you mewling quims!" He yelled using his magic to shove them away from him.
The women fell on their backsides, on top of each other, or stumbled backwards. Their crying ceased replaced by chagrin and confusion. The leader was the first to stand and approach him once more. This time, he held his hand out, stopping her from getting too close.
"Loki, I'm sorry. We didn't mean to alarm you. It's just-"
"Just what?" He hissed, "You ignorant mortals dare approach a god of my stature as if I am like you?"
"We just-"
"Silence!"
Fear replaced all other emotions in the women that surrounded him; a grin began to creep onto his face.
"Loki," the leader whispered defying his order, "we understand. You think you are a monster but you aren't. It's okay; we love you for who you are."
"Then you are a fool," he whispered and the sword no one noticed in his hand began to glow.
Later that evening the local news stations reported an explosion of an unknown source took place killing dozens while S.H.I.E.L.D. barricaded the perimeter and worked on cleaning up the scene. The next morning Fury informed the Avengers of what had taken place and while everyone became consumed with anger only Thor wept and grieved for both the loss of human life and for the tortured soul of his brother.
