It's always a fedora...

That Danged Fedora!

Uldren vaulted over the boulder, eyes watering as he ripped his helmet off, the volcanic fumes assaulting his senses and giving him a sudden feeling of vertigo. He tossed the damaged, now-useless helmet onto the ground, and stood out of his cover to fire off several shots at the Fallen that were chasing him. He looked quite differently than he normally did.

The first and foremost difference was that his hair had been cut to roughly the same very short length, though one side was slightly longer than the other; a rushed job, obviously. The second most noticeable thing, was that he sported a very prominent bruise on one side of his face. On one forearm, a now-dirty bandage was wrapped around an unseen wound, and the corresponding hand was dressed likewise. A bandage was also wrapped around the area just below his right knee.

His armor was in as much a state he was in. His cloak was gone completely, the metal parts of his armor was beaten, dented and scuffed in places, the fabric parts crusted and stained with mud(and blood,in the case of his bad arm and leg), and there were even several tufts of grass caught on a piece of his shoulder plating.

Personally, he blamed her for the state he was in.

His handcannon clicked uselessly when he pulled the trigger, and his hand shot to his pocket. He cursed under his breath when he found it to be empty, devoid of any and all ammo. And his backup rifle had been destroyed by that stupid Captain. He ducked behind his cover again, taking out his knife.

All he had to do was wait for them get close enough, then he could at least stab the heck out of them before he got taken down by the Vandal snipers and their cursed wire rifles.

He crouched, knife at the ready, and a Dreg came around the boulder, blades raised to strike. However, before either of them could stab the other, a sound made the Dreg stop, straighten up, and scan the area around it. It screeched at something to the North, and Uldren risked a glance in that direction.

Never thought I'd be happy to see that danged fedora!

A Sparrow dipped, dove, and leaped amongst and over the volcanic slope, its fedora-wearing driver letting out an eccentric battle cry. The assaultingly shiny red hat was easily noticeable against the black ground, and its owner's aviator sunglasses let off sharp flashing reflections of the sun whenever it managed to shine through the clouds above.

Her Sparrow was colored blue and black, with an odd extension coming out of the back of it for a second rider. The blue sides, he knew, had thin blades running along them, and the black middle and front would be oddly reinforced for on-the-fly roadkill carnage.

The owner also appeared to be wounded, even from where he stood Uldren would see the slick crimson coating one of her arms.

Seeing where she was aiming, he backed up quickly. The Dreg turned on him and snarled.

"Goodbye." Uldren told it as it began to advance on him. It didn't take one step before the front of the Sparrow slammed into it, sending it flying.

Uldren caught hold of Silverhawk's outstretched hand, and swung onto the back of the Sparrow.

"Sayonara, suckers!" Silverhawk yelled over her shoulder, lifting her bloodied hand off the handle of the Sparrow to flip them the bird.

"Why did you take your helmet off? These fumes are poisonous?" He yelled over the rush of the wind and hailstorm of missing bullet fire from the Fallen.

"These glasses boost my ego on a Sparrow, and you're one to talk." She responded cheekily, elbowing him in the ribs. He glared at her. "That, and I had to use my powers. It feels weird using arc blade with my face covered. Why'd you take your's off?"

"It broke. I couldn't see anything. Did you get the cure?" he yelled, trying not to cough at the unbearable fumes that the volcano was giving off.

I can't wait to be off this miserable rock. He though this of Earth, not the volcano. Though, also the volcano, seeing as it was part of Earth.

He hated Earth so far.

"I…I got shot. The cure was destroyed." Silverhawk admitted sheepishly.

"WHAT!?" his shout made her jump, and the Sparrow swerved.

Suddenly, a blast of scorching heat hit them from below, sending the sparrow hundreds of feet into the air, fiery droplets of lava sending searing bolts of pain where ever they landed on the two riders bodies.

They both screamed as they began to fall.

"Okay, maybe we should stop it right there. In case you haven't noticed… yes, that is me. And yes, the idiot with a fedora is my partner."

"Now, your probably wondering why and how I got partnered with such an imbesile. Your also probably wondering about the 'cure' that I mentioned. Now, this is a fairly long story, So I'll just tell it as it is, and I'll let you fill in the rest of the details, if anyone ever bothers listening to this recording, anyway."

"And I'll tell you right now, I had a perfectly good reason for videotaping everything that happened on this mission; I knew that whoever I was partnered with would mess everything up eventually, and I didn't want to be held accountable for someone elses idiocy."

"So,here I go."

"It all started with a young Warlock in an old, dark pit that used to be a light-forsaken Bio Lab…"

Okay, so I've been playing Destiny recently, and I suddenly realized that aside from River Tide, I haven't done any comedy fics. Then I thought it would be funny if Uldren somehow got stuck on a mission with a Hunter wearing a fedora. Why a fedora?

Because I've been watching a lot of Doctor Who recently as well!

I'm going to go completely all out with this character! ^^

Review Challenge: Do you or do you not think that sometimes Ghosts find their guardians as children? I mean there had never been a Guardian before there were Ghosts, but that doesn't mean that the first Guardians were all undead, right? There has to have been some living ones. What do you think it would be like, growing up with a Ghost? If two Guardians got married, would their ability to use Light as a weapon be passed down to their children?

READ AND REVIEW!

Cheers!^^