A young man stands in his room. Today just happens to be Horrorterror day, a day to celebrate your planet's celestial neighbors. You seem excited to celebrate the festivites with cakes and fireworks.
But first, lets get aquainted with our new friend, shall we?
X enter name
Your name is Balls Newt
Wait no thats not right.
X try again, asshole
Your name is Jack Noir
There that sounds better.
X continue
Like I said you are Jack Noir. You have a Variety of interests. You enjoy writing and putting on dresses. Wait no you werent supposed to hear that. Don't tell anybody that. Okay now you pissed off. Good thing you usually keep a good mood 90% of the time.
X Examine window
Suprise. Its dark out, as always. You can see horrorterrors floating around out the window. You wonder if they hate the dark too. Then again, they have been here longer than you have, so they must be used to it.
X Be jealous of prospit's sun
You fail to blame prospit due to your high sportsmanship level
X go to desk
The purple wood becons you. You approach your marvelous desk.
X Examine ink
Oh ink. Such fond memories of papers you have written.
X Wait whats that
"100 percent horrorterror shit"
X Keep from flipping out
File "keep from flipping out" not found.
X Examine mail
Ooooh. It seems the Queen has sent you a new dress idea. Did you say dress? You meant sweet duds. Yeah lets go with that.
X examine posters
You fail to examine posters because you don't have any. What made you think you had posters on your wall? You are so silly.
X Call Droll
You approach your fenstrated wall. It automatically calls droll due to some kind of technological magical shit. Droll seems to be sleeping.
X examine Droll
Its rude to examine a man when he is sleeping.
X wake up droll
Droll wakes up
X remind droll what day it is
You remind droll what day it is. He seems to be jumping off the walls in excitement.
X Be Droll.
Droll is flipping the fuck out. Please try again later.
X okay fine be someone else
You are now someone else.
X whose this idiot
Lets see. What shall this man's name be?
X enter name
We aren't going to do that again. It wasn't funny the first time and its not funny now
X okay fine
Your name is Diamonds Droog. You are the queen's special clerk. You aren't 100 percent sure what that means, but goddamn you love filing papers.
X examine wall
Your room is filled with various important pop culture posters. You quote enjoy the classical novel PRONYS. Your favorite poster is signed by the maker himself. It cost quite a lot, but you think it is your most valued purchase.
X examine classical poster.
This poster seems to be your favorite. It brings back memories of chapter 473.
.com/post/22692067247/always-tae-care-of-your-kids-people
Why yes. It truly shows the struggle of losing a young sibling. You shed a single tear.
Oh my someone is calling.
X Answer call
Its Jack. Jack reminds you to gather some supplies for the holiday will be celebrated with the queen. This is new. Jack usually celebrates with the queen by himself. You would be suspicious if you cared more. It seems something is coming through your SUPER SPEEDY MEGABIT FAXPUTER 20000
X get fax
For a SUPER SPEEDY Fax machine, its slow as mole asses.
X examine fax
Its from jack.
"Hey droog! Heres a list of things you need for the party! .
-streamers
-those guns that shoot glitter and shit like that
-those things that get better when you blow them
-dinosaur bones
-gifts n shit
-crab meat
-cake"
X put away note.
You really don't need the list. Your memory is like a million elephants in a photograph. Now where did you put that closet?
X go to filing cabnet room.
You go to your gigantic filing cabinet room, which is also your closet.
Only the greatest of clerks have them.
X put away note in section MA-16
well? time to put the paper...
back in the drawer.
X no you shit
umm... shit
X jescus fucking christ!
PAP.
X okay, TURN the paper first you shit.
PAP.
X no ok you turned it full ways, turn is back, than start over.
PAP.
X fuck
It was at that moment you got distracted by the doorbell.
X Go to door.
Oh look. Its Hege.
X open door.
Hege tackles you and drags you out of the house. He could have just said lets go shopping. Well its too late to gripe.
X be Droll.
Finally, after much anticipation, you are now the most important character in the fanfiction.
X get dressed
You already have clothes on you shit.
X obtain hat from closet.
You? Keep clothes in the closet. No after last time. You keep all of your clothes in the most secret place ever. Like, its so secret, the goverment should put you away forever for keeping a secret THIS big.
X retreave hat from stove
Its the perfect crime.
X don squiddle hat.
For something as adorable as the horrorterrors, they have such terrifying mascots.
X don cake hat
Much better.
X go to garage
You are now in your garage. Hats litter the floor. You keep them there as a red herring just in case anyone suspects your REAL hiding spot.
X enter car
You fail to enter car due to its the size of a matchbox car.
How do you even have one of those.
This is like, another planet.
Nice job writers. Ooops I mean Writer.
Asshole.
X take car.
Now you have the car.
X Be Hege
You are now Droog
X no be hege
You are now droll
X fuck you let me be hege
You are now john egbert
X i'm okay with that
You are now jack
X fuck fine do whatever
You now arrive at the queen's palace. Its beuty is only exceeded by herself. Wait did you say that? No jack stop remember what heppened last time.
X go in.
You enter the queen's palace. Its magnificent and full of streamers. It seems the queen has yet the enter the place yet. Oh look. droog and hege are here.
X Ignore them so that you dont have to work.
You tiptoe past them
-5 Sportsmanship
X go to the queen's chamber
You go to The the door to the queen's chamber
X knock
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
The queens beckons you to enter.
X Jack: enter
Nope, no fancy flashes here. This is a fanfic you silly boy/girl.
You enter her room. I mean chambers. She seems to be pacing back and fourth.
X talk to the queen.
Q: Oh gog jack. This is bad this is bad this is bad.
J: Whats wrong?
Q: nonononononono!
J: Snap out of it tell me whats wrong!
Q: Its the game. It got released! Somebody released the game!.
J: Wait what? What game.
Q: Okay theres this game okay. And it like...I mean, wait okay theres these meteors and...okay wait the towers...
J:You mean the towers around the castle?
Q:Yeah those and-
J:Because one of them is glowing.
Q:WAIT WHAT?
X Show the tower to the queen.
You show it to the queen. The queen beguins to feel ill.
X examine the queen.
The queen's eye just fell out. Okay eww.
X Pick up her eye.
Now her arm falls off. Double eww combo.
X pick up her arm
Fuck fuck whats going on. Shes mutating horribly.
X comfort her.
You comfort the queen. Shes pushes you away and runs out to her people.
X Follow her.
You follow the queen out to the crowd of people forming outside the castle. The fireworks seem to be going off. Wait…
X examine fireworks.
The fireworks aren't coming from the ground. They seem to be coming from the other side of the planet. You hear a loud wail.
X look up.
A horrorterror descends to the planet and crashes. You know exactly whats happeneing.
X examine prospit fleet.
War has begun.
END OF ACT 1
