Hello, people! This is my first fic, but don't runaway in horror! Instead, why don't you read it and then review? Yes? Yes.

Shout out to my beta Nayuki bunny-chan: Thanks for the support, soul sistah o' mine...I couldn't have done it without you...

Diclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution, Alice in Wonderland, or anything else alluded to in this story...

MUAHAHA...let the games begin...


It was the thud that had first alerted Olivier to the fact that he was no longer alone. That and the whispered stream of curses snaking out of his bathroom prompted him to reach for the packet of cards on his bedside table. He moved carefully off the bed and across to the door, cards at the ready. He was greeted with an odd sight. A girl lay sprawled in the bathtub, fully clothed and soaking wet. He relaxed slightly and leaned casually against the door frame.

"Bonsoir chérie, y' do know dere are other ways o' getting a man's attention, non?" He smirked at her blush.

"Yeah, well this is as weird to me as it is to you." Seeing his expression, she amended her statement. "Well, fine, maybe this isn't unusual to you, but to me, this is just FREAKY. Where the hell am I?"

"M' bathtub."

"Yes, I can see that." She rolled her eyes, exasperated, and continued with a hint of hysteria. "But where am I?"

"In m' house in Nawlins."

"Well, that's somewhat reassuring." She staggered slightly as she stood, and reached up to feel the large bump rising on the back of her head. Wincing, she pulled her hand away, eyes widening at the blood she found there.

"Easy now." Olivier moved closer. "Why don' y' sit down on de toilet, chère? Dere y' go. How'd y' get all wet, an'way? Not that Olivier's complainin'." He winked for good measure. She glared at him, failing to control the blush that covered her face and neck…not that that diminished the forcefulness of her glare.

"In case you hadn't noticed, it's raining like crazy out there."

"Chérie, I don' know where you been, but we're in de middle o' de longest drought in fo' years." She paused.

"Um…no we're not. It's been raining for like four days. There are flood warnings almost everywhere. It's that damn global warming, I swear! And that damn oil leak isn't gonna help any…" She descended into muttered curses, glaring darkly at her sneakers.

"Chère," Olivier said gently, now genuinely worried for the girl perched on his toilet lid. "What are y' talking about? There hasn't been an oil spill since the eighties…" He trailed off as she wrenched her head around sharply.

"What year is it?" she barked, panic rising in her eyes.

"2010."

"So I haven't time traveled. Well that's good." She sighed and winced again.

"Chère."

"My name's not chère," she cut him off tiredly. "As far as I know, there's only one Cher. I'm Alice. Who're you?"

"Olivier LeBeau, at your service ma'm'eselle."

"Enchanté, I'm sure. Hey, um, I know this is completely random, but could I borrow your shower and a change of clothes? We can talk after I get dry, allright?"

"Olivier could join y' in de shower." He smirked at her lasciviously. She just looked back at him blankly.

"Or Olivier could go find me some clothes."

"Or Olivier could do that…but he'd prefer to stay wit de belle."

"Out." Olivier exited the bathroom with a laugh. He could probably find something in his dresser for Alice to wear.


Alice was in shock. And she knew she was in shock. There was no way she would take things this calmly under normal circumstances. She had been running in the rain, trying to make it to her car. WABAM! There was a bright light and lots of noise. And then she was in a bathtub in some strange, albeit attractive, man's house. Things like that just did happen to regular sixteen year old girls.

"Just my luck." Alice grumbled. She double checked that the door was locked before turning on the shower.

"Hey, wait up!" Olivier called through the door. "Take de clothes firs'. Although if de belle would like to wait until she's jus' in de towel, Olivier'd be happy to wait." Alice jerked the door open, grabbed the clothes, and slammed the door shut in one smooth motion.

"Thank god for showers." Alice muttered into the stream of warm water. Not only was it washing away the grime and blood, but also her stress and anxiety. Clearly, her little trip was just some kind of …government experiment or something. Maybe aliens! Yeah…that was it…All she had to do was call her parents and catch the next train back home.

"Um…Olivier?"

"Ouais, chère?"

"Where should I put my clothes?"

"Y' mean dere not on your body? Olivier's on his way!" Alice snorted at Olivier's eager expression. He had hopped off the bed so quickly she was worried he was going to get light-headed and faint.

"No, dumbass. My dirty clothes. The ones I was wearing when I got here? Yeah. Those." She waved the offending garments in his direction. Olivier squinted slightly.

"Oh. Dose. I guess y' can jus' spread dem out somewhere to dry."

"Aight. Thanks."

"…is dat your bra?" Alice whirled around and promptly fell over. She glared at him from her position on the floor.

"Yes. It is. Now shaddup." Olivier grinned mischievously.

"So am I t' take it dat your not wearin' a bra right now?" Alice slowly straightened up.

"No, I'm not…unless you happen to have one lying around? I didn't think you were into drag, but you never know. Pretty boys are full of surprises." She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"So y' admit dat I'm pretty?"

"Changing the subject I see. A hidden insecurity? And yes you are, but don't think that that'll get you anywhere with me." He smirked and caught her eyes.

"Trust me, ma chère, I can get anywhere I want to with you."

"You may want to, but doesn't mean that you will."

"Touché." They stood there in slightly awkward silence for a few moments. The only noise was the sound of the floorboards creaking slightly under Alice's shifting weight. She never was one to sit still, a fact which her mother constantly lamented. Her mother!

"Can I borrow your phone?" Alice asked, rather urgently.

"Sure." Alice dialed her home number, silently hoping that her father would answer the phone; he would handle the situation so much more rationally than her mother.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, Mom? It's Alice."

"I'm sorry dear. You must have the wrong number. I don't have a daughter."

"Wait. What? Mom, that's not funny!"

"Like I said, you have the wrong number. I'm sorry." Click. Alice stared at the phone in shock. She redialed.

"Hello?"

"Mom?"

"You again? *sigh* I told you. You have the wrong number. I don't have a daughter, I just have my two sons, Robert and Henry. No daughter. Sorry." Click. Alice slid slowly to the floor, the dial tone ringing in her ears. Her eyes began to fill.

"Chérie?" Olivier began after a lengthy pause.

"My name's Alice!" She shrieked. "A-L-I-C-E. ALICE. Learn it, love it, use it, and don't you dare forget it!"

"Alice." Olivier said seriously. She looked up, meeting his eyes. "What's wrong?" Alice choked off a sob and wrenched her head away from his gaze.

"My mother didn't know me. She said she didn't have a daughter. How could she do that? Why would she lie to me about me?" Alice's composure broke, and tears began to slide down her face. A sob caught in her throat.

"Oh, Alice…" Olivier knelt beside her and gently gathered her into his arms. "It'll be ok, chère. It'll be ok…" He rubbed slow, soothing circles across her back as she sobbed into his chest. He murmured encouragements to her, at times lapsing into French, but continuing the stream of comforting words. Eventually, her sobs slowed to sniffles and hiccups.

"Y'okay chérie?"

"What do you think? Of course I'm not okay. She didn't know me! She gave birth to me, but she can't remember me." She buried her head in her arms. "I'm so tired." She murmured. "This is ridiculous. And ludicrous. And not supposed to happen to me." Her self proclaimed fatigue was evident to Olivier. Her eyes were half closed, and her words had begun to slur slightly. He lifted her up and moved her carefully onto the bed, managing to finagle the sheets and blanket over her. She curled up slightly, fisting the covers around herself more fully.

"Ouais, by all means, make y'rself comf'table in Olivier's bed. He wouldn' have it any other way. Maybe we can get t' know each other better when y're less tired." She wasn't asleep enough to ignore that comment, and Olivier laughed outright when she treated him to a mono-digital salute. Olivier double checked that she was comfortable before turning off the lights and leaving the bedroom, only half closing the door on his way out. He made his way softly to where his laptop was resting on the dining room table. He had some research to do.


So...review? Please?