Disclaimer: I do not own How to Train Your Dragon or Dreamworks.
Summary: "..leaving. We're leaving. Let's pack up. Looks like you and me are taking a little vacation. Forever." Except Hiccup decides to leave at night, while everyone is sleeping, and Astrid never stops him. Definitely and Alternate Universe (AU).
Hiccup felt like he was going to throw up the tasteless fish he had eaten for breakfast. Any normal Viking might have burst with the joy and pride of being able to be the first in his class to a kill a dragon. Not Hiccup though, oh no, not him. Why did he have to be so different?
Hiccup was at this moment sitting at his desk, in Gobber's shop, looking over his drawings and notes. He was thinking, just as he had the night before when his father returned from his quest to find the dragons' nest. Except he wasn't rolling the pencil up and down his slanted drawing table in quiet contemplation, he was hunched over his drawings, holding his stomach willing his breakfast to just stay. Hiccup took big breaths in and out as he rested his cheek on top of one of his drawings of Toothless.
Tomorrow he was going to have to kill a dragon. Kill a dragon.
Oh Odin...
What was he going to do? He couldn't tell his dad that he couldn't kill a dragon. He'd already tried that. He wouldn't listen, he never listened. A fleeting thought of maybe telling him about Toothless passed through his mind, but it left just as quickly, because Hiccup would never endanger his dragon like that. And even if he did, how would he tell his father about Toothless? How could he tell his father that all his recent skill in defeating dragons was a lie? That he was not a dragon killer, he was a dragon tamer. And who else could he tell, Gobber? He almost laughed at the thought, almost. No, Gobber thought just as much of Hiccup as his father did. Hiccup, the true Hiccup, was useless to everyone, and that hurt. It hurt a lot.
Hiccup groaned again, hugging his stomach even tighter, scrunching his eyes closed and breathing deeply. Hiccup wondered why he even bothered. Why should he even stay here, where no one cared to listen to him, and only saw what they wanted to see. No, there was no reason he should stay. And that was the solution, wasn't it? If he left tonight, after the whole town was sound asleep, no one would notice he was gone till morning. He could fly away with Toothless, his only friend, and never look back.
Hiccup slowly sat up. Leave Berk, forever. He would never have to kill a dragon. He would never be ridiculed. He would never feel so insignificant and useless again. It was the perfect solution, the perfect plan. And the more he thought about it, of all the adventures Toothless and him would have together, the happier he became. And then he was already compiling a list of things he would have to take with him, and his stomach problems were forgotten about.
If there was one thing that Hiccup wanted to make sure he had plenty of before he left on his journey, it was paper. It was something he wasn't very knowledgeable on making, and it was also something he used often. So, that's why, at this moment in time, he was headed through town. He didn't want to walk through town right now, because everyone wanted to talk to him. It seemed every second he was being bombarded by the villagers who had once called him useless, but instead today they were congratulating him, patting him on the back, and asking him if he was nervous for tomorrow. No, no, he would answer. Of course not, they would answer, and a few would even call him brave, courageous, and he almost laughed out loud at that. Then he would slip away, oh gotta go, he would say, got to prepare for tomorrow, ya know. Sharpen my weapons, and practice and all, yep.
By the time Hiccup reached Kalfinna's house, the village's bookshop, paper-maker, and scribe, he was exhausted of fending off all of the people who wished to talk to him. He was relieved to finally get away from the crowds, because of course there was never a crowd in Kalfinna's shop. Vikings didn't read very often, which Hiccup had always thought was a bit sad, but then again who needs to read when they have a full time job killing dragons.
Kalfinna's shop was quiet, and empty. The store was tiny and Hiccup of course knew where everything was, so it took him all but a minute to find and grab about five leather bound journals. His rustling through the small collection must have alerted Kalfinna, because she standing next to him as soon as he finished. She smiled at him eagerly, and he smiled back.
"Hello, Kal."
"Hiyas Hiccup. More journals? Already? Didn't you just get a new one a week ago? And why do you need so many? And I heard that you're going to kill your first dragon tomorrow. Are you scared? I know I would be. Especially after last year when they destroyed the shop." Kal had always talked fast, and somewhat enthusiastically with lots of gesturing and head bobbing, making her long braids swing from side to side. Hiccup was usually able to keep up with her, however.
"Yes, I've already run out," Hiccup lied, "And no, I'm not scared about tomorrow." His heart ached a little with his lie, he knew Kalfinna had been an orphan since both of her parents had been killed last year when her family's shop had been demolished during one of the dragons' raid. It was lucky that her parents had already taught her their trade, so she was able to rebuild, with the help of her uncle, and then run the new shop all on her own. Hiccup knew it wasn't easy for her.
"Oh, well that's good. You're so brave Hiccup," she said with so much sincerity and enthusiasm it made Hiccup's stomach drop in a feeling of growing dread. Of all the people in Berk, he had always felt he could relate to Kalfinna the best, even if she was about four years younger than him. She liked books more than she liked killing dragons, and would never join the group of exclusive dragon-killing 'cool' Vikings, but then again she wasn't the son of the village Chief and wasn't expected to. But every time he was here, she always tried to talk his ear off about dragons.
"Yeah..." Hiccup trailed off, at loss of what to say. He didn't like her praise. He wasn't courageous. He was so scared, and that's why he was running away.
"I guess you wouldn't be scared though, I mean I went the other day to watch the training, and you were amazing! The way you got that Terrible Terror back in its pen. I mean it was kinda funny. And then..."
"So Kal, how much is this going to be?"
"Oh, sorry Hiccup. Hmm, let's see five, and if they're each..." Hiccup tuned Kal out, trying not to think about how he actually might miss this shop, and Kal and her overwhelming personality. Nope, there was absolutely nothing in this terrible village that he would miss. Including Kal's overall strangeness, Astrid's anger problems, his father's inability to listen, and Gobber's sarcastic, not really funny actually quite hurtful remarks. Nope, he would miss nothing.
"...Hiccup? Helloooo, earth to dragon boy?" Hiccup started out of his trance.
"Dragon boy?" he asked, almost horrified at the name. Kal's hand that had been waving in front of his face immediately retreated, and a blush began to creep across her freckled cheeks. Hiccup laughed out loud, Kal's blush brought him genuine amusement, and for a moment he forgot why he was here.
"Um, so that'll be about 30 silver coins..." Hiccup remember then and frowned, paper was expensive, but immediately pulled out his coin purse and poured its contents onto the small table in the back of the cramped shop. He counted out the allotted amount. Kal collected it, placing the coins into her work apron, quietly. Actually it was probably the first time Hiccup had heard her do anything quietly, ever. Well, except when writing or reading, but even then it seemed she couldn't keep quiet.
"Well, uh, thanks Kal," Hiccup said, "Really, thanks," and then he turned, walking towards the door.
"Well, yeah, no problem. I'll be watching tomorrow Hiccup. Good luck," and he turned back as he reached the door, and she smiled at him. Hiccup felt all his doubts about leaving Berk come swelling forth in the pit of his stomach. It was not a good feeling. He pushed it aside though, trying not to think that this was the last time he might ever see Kalfinna. "Well, I hope you kick that dragon's a..."
"Bye Kal!" He yelled and then forced a laugh as he ran out the door, before she could even finish her sentence.
Hiccup didn't stop running as he headed for his house. He just felt like running, whether it was from his second thoughts, or his excitement, he couldn't tell. His thoughts strayed towards some of the things he would miss in Berk, but mostly he tried not to think about it. Life with Toothless would be enough. Who needed fathers and mothers, uncles and cousins, or a girlfriend? Hiccup fleetingly thought of Astrid. Man, had she been angry today. There was definitely no way he was ever going to get a date with her. Why had he thought that killing a dragon would have made is life easier? Maybe, when he had first found Toothless, if he had just... but no, he wouldn't think about that. Hiccup had accepted who he was, and he wasn't a dragon killer, and never would be.
Running was becoming a bit difficult, and Hiccup's breathing was now labored, as he raced past the last houses in the village. He gripped his purchases as he turned the corner on the last house, following the path that lead to his, no his father's, house. But he didn't expect someone to have been walking in the opposite direction as him, and as Hiccup turned that corner, he had been running too fast, and ran right into the last person he wanted to see or talk to.
"Ack!" And Hiccup knew that scream of rage, just as well as he knew how it felt to fall flat on your face, after all he had never been a very coordinated person. Hiccup had not let go of his journals in order to catch himself, but in fact had tucked them closer to his body, protecting them from the muddy pathway. There were in fact a couple of consequences to the action, and the first was all Hiccup was thinking about.
"Owww..." he groaned. Pain erupted across his shoulder and the side of his face. This hurt. A lot.
"Get off me you rat-eating, sludge-bucket. For crying out loud," and that's when Hiccup realized he was laying face down, half on top of Astrid Hofferson. Before he even had a chance to move however, she had shoved him off of her, and then was standing up, towering over him menacingly.
"You," she practically growled, "I've been looking everywhere for you!" And then Hiccup's flight or fight response kicked in. Run, he thought, run! And Hiccup did try to get up, he really did, but he tried a little too fast. He got halfway up and as he was shifting his weight from his arms and onto his legs, he slipped in the mud, falling on his face for the second time that day. Stupid, useless, legs!
The pain wasn't as bad as the first time, but it still hurt, and he decided he'd let Astrid do whatever she was going to do, because there was no way he was moving for the next couple of minutes. Astrid was in fact laughing, quite loudly. Hiccup groaned.
I didn't take long for Astrid's laughter to quiet. "Alright, I'm going to ask this once. Where the hell have you been?" Hiccup didn't answer. Maybe if he pretended he was dead she would leave. Ugh, he felt like he was dead.
"Hiccup?" And dare he say that she actually sounded concerned? "Get up you big troll," and then she gave him a swift kick to the side that made Hiccup wince. Nope, she wasn't concerned. Why had he even thought that? So to avoid another kick, Hiccup sat up, slowly. He still hadn't dropped his journals into the mud, thank Odin. He brought up his free hand, and tried to wipe most of the mud from his face. He then stood up, trying not to wince in pain when used his left arm as leverage.
"A troll? I don't think I've ever been compared to a troll before. Usually people reserve that insult for those that are more... beefy in stature." Astrid snorted in amusement, and then glared.
"All ask again. Where. Have. You. Been?"
"Well... Mom... first I was at the Gobber's shop, working on..."
"I am not your mother!"
"Really? Are you sure? Because..."
"I just want to know where you've been! You keep disappearing, and you're acting so strange. No one just gets as good as you Hiccup in a couple weeks! What have you been doing? I want to know. Don't. Lie." She emphasized her last words with a particularly forceful poke on his chest, and an angry glare. If looks could kill... Astrid looked really angry, and Hiccup did not want to be dealing with this right now, he would rather catch a nap before he had to leave tonight. So he held in his sigh and his sarcastic comeback.
"Look, Astrid. I've just been working a lot in the shop lately on a couple of projects," and it was true, to a certain extent.
"What kinds of projects?" she immediately responded in suspicion.
"Just stuff to catch dragons. Um, I've been making a lot of adjustments to my catapult and some other... um, stuff." Hiccup faltered in her glare, but he tried to keep his cool. He hated lying.
"What other stuff?" she questioned, leaning close.
"Just some more dragon stuff," he said with a wave of his muddy hand. "I haven't been doing anything to practice or anything, Astrid. Really, I haven't." And Hiccup ached to tell her all about Toothless, tell her all about how wrong they were, but he knew that she couldn't possibly understand. She wouldn't listen, just like everyone else. Astrid, however, just huffed in anger at his words. He could tell she didn't believe him, and that confirmed even more the fact that he couldn't leave Berk during the day. He had to leave at night.
"Fine," she glared, and it kind of frightened Hiccup. "I'll be watching you Hiccup."
"Uh, um, okay then," and then her realized he was probably never going to see her again. Yet the feeling was more bittersweet than he thought it would be. Astrid was pretty, and her personality, her toughness, her pure Vikingness, had been something Hiccup had always wanted, had been jealous of. And now he wasn't. I was almost as if he was seeing her for the first time.
"Goodbye Astrid," and he smiled, turning back around, towards the hill that led to his father's house. He didn't look back, but he heard Astrid moving right before he felt the sharp tug on his fur vest. He then toppled to the ground painfully for the third time. At least this time it wasn't on his face.
"That's for today at practice!" Then she dropped the handle of her axe onto his chest, "And that's for everything else."
"Ow! What the..."
"Goodbye Hiccup, see you tomorrow." And then she sauntered off, and Hiccup was relieved that he actually wouldn't be seeing her tomorrow.
When Hiccup arrived home, his father wasn't there. He was glad that he wasn't. So Hiccup changed clothes, and then he cleaned up and lay down on his bed, he wasn't that tired but he closed his eyes and tried to get a little shut eye. He missed Toothless, and he was finished packing. He almost decided to leave right then and there, because waiting for nightfall seemed almost pointless that this point, but then he remembered Astrid's words, and decided it really wasn't that pointless.
As he lay he thought about how his father, Stoick the Vast, Chief of the Village, might react when he didn't show up tomorrow to kill the dragon. He would probably disappointed, he would probably think Hiccup a coward. He and everyone else would go on killing dragons, never knowing how easy it was to tame them. The thought made Hiccup's heart ache a little, because he had come to like dragons just a little bit. They were like giant pets, and Hiccup knew Toothless was just loyal to him, just as he was to Toothless. He couldn't show them Toothless. His father would never listen, he'd just react. His only option was to leave.
With his head swirling with thoughts of Toothless and his father, Hiccup fell into a restless sleep.
When Hiccup awoke, the fire had gone out, and the house was cold. It was also extremely dark. The snores of his father filled and shook the house. It didn't take long to wake up fully. As soon as he could think clearly, Hiccup was out of bed, trying to be as quiet as possible as he pulled on his boots and flying gear, throwing his fur vest on top, it was cold outside. He grabbed his basket full of everything he could possibly need for the next couple months, besides food and water of course. Before he knew it he was standing in the doorway, looking out on to the island and village. He turned back towards the house as he shut the door quietly. He stopped just before he closed it. His head was swirling with doubt, and emotion.
"Goodbye, Dad," he whispered as it finally shut closed. He turned back to the town, getting one last look, "Goodbye, Berk." And then he turned towards the forest, walking around the house quickly, trying to get the blood flowing through his veins in the cold night air. When he reached the forest he stopped. It was dark, and he was going to have to go slow. He contemplated the decision he was about to make, that after his next step, there was no turning back. From now on it would just be Toothless and him. And with that thought he stepped into the darkness of the trees, where the even the moonbeams could not reach. He didn't look back once.
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