Yo! This is a crack shot I created thanks to my cousin (Here Kitty Kitty Kitty)'s story "Soul Eater Revival". If you don't know who the characters are, please go read "Soul Eater Revival". I apologize in advance for any mistakes or anything. There's only so much HKKK will do before she starts chasing me with a hammer yelling about a "LACK OF FUCKING PUNCTUATION!", then ends up in an emo corner.
HKKK: -.- Don't you think you're over-dramatizing it?
EF026: STOP USING BIG WORDS! *Runs*
Disclaimer; Don't own any Soul Eater characters, Senna Lee, Lemmy Gesum, or Edward Blackhawk. Just borrowing them.
A Regrettable Party; Who Spiked The Punch?
The morning sun rose slowly, Dante sat up stretching out his arms as he stood up from his bed and dragged himself into the restroom to begin his day. Thoughts raced in his mind he was excited, today was the day he and Kim had planned to spend the day alone, he washed his face as he slipped into his usual everyday clothes with the exception that he had actually combed his hair in a neater style.
Senna belle was asleep on the couch surrounded by empty Soda cans, a few potato chip bags lay on the coffee table with a few crumbs scattered around them. The rest of the crew had stayed overnight for a monster movie marathon, he smirked at the idea.
"Don't we face enough everyday Monsters" he asked them as they piled into his apartment the night before.
Black star Stood on the kitchen counter as the others tried to prepare the food for the night.
" I'm going to surpass God so I can't pass up the opportunity to prove I'm fearless Dante, besides are you chicken or something?!"
"No, I'm just not in the mood tonight I have plans tomorrow"
Dante stepped out of the room, that night he lay in bed trying to fall asleep, but he couldn't help to think about how the next day would go with Kim, he was excited and couldn't wait, maybe it was the anxiety keeping him up. He listened as the others watched their movies, after a few jumps and scares the movie ended. He heard Senna belle brag to Black star as the rest sat back and giggled like horny schoolgirls, not that that had anything to do with his own thoughts, he just always felt that giggling was an automatic qualification to the title Horny schoolgirl.
"I picked a movie I bet you can't brave through Black star" Senna belle bragged
"Bring it on I can take on anything you got, or would you like to see what lightning and thunder could do?"
Dante imagined black star flexing as he pointed to his muscles claiming them as Lightning and Thunder, he chuckled to himself as he listened.
"Alrighty then" Senna replied as she placed the movie in the Disc tray.
Dante couldn't tell what movie it was but he could hear the shrill shrieks of Black Star over the high pitched yelps from the rest of the gang. He softly rested his head back, his eyes closed slowly, he reopened them two hours later. His stomach growled as he stood up and headed for the kitchen, he glanced around as everyone lay sprawled out over the room, but two were missing from sight. He looked around for Maka and Soul in the group of dull drooling bodies that lay around his house. He stepped toward his fridge grabbing a small bottle of apple juice from one of the shelves inside as he made his way back down the hallway, He passed the doors approaching the bathroom as he opened his Juice and began to take a long sip. He stopped hearing voices in the bathroom, he stood holding the bottle up to his lips as he pressed his ear closer to the door to hear them better.
"S-Soul I haven't ummm done this before"
"Don't worry Maka I'll be gentle"
Dante's eyes opened wide as he kept listening, Maka let out a pained gasp.
"N-n-no please soul it hurts don't push it in so deep…p-please!"
"O-okay soul"
Dante spit his juice back up as he fell to the ground coughing and trying to breathe as he dragged himself on his stomach back to his room.
"I don't wanna know…I don't wanna know!"
He lay himself back in bed and tried to erase thoughts from his mind, eventually he drifted off to sleep.
Maka came stumbling out of the bathroom with Soul by her side, Blood dripped down her waist and a red stain was on her white shirt. She lifted it revealing a paperclip hanging from her belly button cover in blood. A few cans of alcohol came rolling out in front of them on the floor.
"Thanks soul, I've always wanted a piercing"
He nodded and shook his head "Your welcome Maka"
"Hey Maka? Who the hell brought the drinks tonight? That's not regular grape concord"
They both stood hanging from each other for support as they stared intensely at each other, Soul leaned in slowly to kiss her as Maka pursed her lips together. Before they kissed they fell to the ground and passed out as blood spread around in a puddle from their face plants intoi the solid floor.
Dante walked from his room clean and happy as he stepped over the sleeping bodies on the floor and sneaked his way out the door shutting it quietly. He left a note on the table to notify everyone what was going on, besides he didn't feel like hearing Black Stars yelling on his perfect day, which might be the only one he'll ever get.
He rushed out into the sunlight and down the street, He was to meet Kim on the sky view at the academy, nothing could go wrong today.
'Nothing could go wrong today, nothing at all'
He stopped by and picked up a purple rose on his way. He rushed up the steps to the academy to the sky view. Kim wasn't there, he didn't worry as he sat on the ledge overlooking Death city.
'She must be running a little late'
(back at the apartment)
Tsubaki sat up from the floor yawning, she had chips and gummy worms hanging from her hair, the Straps of her dress wear broken and her breasts almost fully showing. She stood herself up and walked around looking at the mess all over the house.
"It seems we had a little too much fun last night"
She giggled as she smelt the broken strap of her dress in disgust.
'It seems I need a shower I hope Senna and Dante don't mind'
She stepped over Black Star who slept in fetal position on the floor sucking his thumb, she kicked her feet through the sea of trach and cans on the floor as she made her way to the bathroom. Her eyes caught on to a white circular bead laying on the coffee table.
"Oooh a mint! Just what I needed"
She popped it into her mouth and made her way to the bathroom over Maka and soul who lay asleep spooning each other on the floor.
Black Star began to stir as he came into consciousness, he looked around the room at the mess and the others who lay passed out on the floor. He scratched the back of his head with a wide grin.
"Told them I was a party animal"
He stood up and walked around over everyone in the room as they slept, He stared at their blank faces as they slept, an evil grin came over his face as he held up a sharpie and popped off the cap.
"There all better!" He tossed the sharpie behind him dusting off his hands as if he had been laboring in the dirt. Behind him everyone lay sleeping with a Hitler mustache and a monopoly man eye glass.
"They'll appreciate the new improvements I gave them.. after all I am Destined to be worshipped!"
He made his way to the bathroom, stepping over the spooning couple on the floor, slamming the door behind him recklessly, he stood as he went to the bathroom looking up with the sunlight from the window in his face wearing a cheesy grin.
"Oh Black Star I Didn't know how big you were"
He smiled and chuckled
"You bet I am the….wait Tsubaki?!"
He turned his head to find Tsubaki standing naked drenched wet in water as it trickled down her breasts from her stomach to her waistline, her eyes narrowed themselves down as his zipper.
His eyes opened wide as blood began to rush from his nose, eyes and ears like a red waterfall.
" Aghhh! Tsubaki what are you doing in here?!"
"I was taking a shower silly, I wanna kiss you Black star"
Black star turned and bolted out the bathroom door trampling over Maka and Soul.
Ahhhhh!
Soul and Maka sat up and yelled simultaneously yelling out
"What the hell was the for?!"
Slowly they turned to the bathroom and saw Tsubaki standing naked as water dripped from her body.
"Hey you guys, you want some love?"
The two of them fell back onto the ground shocked and paralyzed .
Tsubaki giggled and stared at them, just as everyone else began to wake up in a panic.
Lemmy was just waking up in the midst of all the panic, Ed was running around in circles from invisible crows, most likely from the movie that they watched last night. Occasionally he stopped to eat more white pills he had mistaken for breath mints as well.
"Holy Chuck Norris! Someone call animal control the crows are back!"
Ed ran around in circles waving his arms over his head as if to fight them off.
Lemmy wiped her eyes as she watched him in disbelief.
"Ed? Are you okay?"
"Sorry Lemmy! Can't talk! Evil crows! I like to keep my eyes thank you very much!"
Blair began running around dropping pills in every opened and unopened drink using her pumpkin spells.
"Yay! You guys are so much fun when on medication!"
She bounded around the room happily dancing in circles as fish floated around her.
Death the kid sat up followed by Liz and Patty, They glanced around the room then at each other.
Kid noticed the marker on their faces as patty began to speak about the marks on Kids face before Liz tackled her and held her mouth shut.
"What the hell did you do to your face!"
Kid jumped around in panic as he poked and stretched at their faces trying to rub off the marker hysterically.
"You did this to betray me.. well now face the fury of my own…Sharpie Symmetry!"
Kid pulled a sharpie out of his pocket and stepped his way toward Liz and Patty with a menacing snarl, Liz noticed and hid herself Behind patty in fear.
"Kid no please!"
Patty bounced around happily "Yay! Make over party!"
Kid stepped away in satisfaction "There perfect symmetry"
Liz and patty now had Identical glasses on both sides with a new and improved mustache as they curled up their cheeks. Liz began rubbing at her face frantically as patty danced with a mirror as she smiled and giggled like a retard.
Liz looked up at Kid in anger as she stepped toward him with threatening hand motions "Maybe you should look at your own damn face!"
Kid looked up in surprise as he snatched the mirror from patty soon falling over into the ground, his nose leaked out like a raging river. Liz sat back with a headache and patty ran around happily.
Tsubaki kept walking around naked as her breasts bounced around uncontrollably, make sat up and took a drink from a half filled can next to her. Soul glanced up as Blair put a pill in a few other cans. He turned his head to Maka as she took a sip.
"Maka, no!"
He reached and knocked the can from her hands "Maka those drinks are drugged"
He was too late Maka's eyes began to droop heavy as she rocked back and forth slowly, she slowly began to take off her shirt as she glared at soul biting her bottom lip. "Soul I want you to give it to me"
Soul began to crawl away his nose erupted suddenly as blood ran down his shirt, he shook his head drastically as he stood up turning to run, Make latched herself on his waist as she began tugging at his belt buckle. His face turned red as he tried to pull her from his waist, he danced frantically around the room, her legs swinging wildly as they knocked everything over.
"Soul….I want your length" Maka glanced up as soul her eyes innocent, she slowly licked her lips as she tugged at his pants zipper with her teeth, a slight string of saliva fell from her tongue.
"Maka no! What the hell is wrong with you!"
Senna belle snored away on the couch without stirring as the circus ran around the house.
(Back at the sky view)
Dante sat around on the ledge growing tired as he waited.
He began to stand and walk back home slowly.
'She must've forgot oh well tomorrow then'
Moments later he stood outside the door of his apartment.
'Home at last'
Dante stepped in through the doorway, his jaw dropped on the floor as he saw what was going on. Soul bolted his way behind Dante. He cowered behind him shaking his clothes hung loose from his body.
"Dante, Watch out these girls are Man eaters!"
Blair, Tsubaki and Maka turned toward Dante and soul menacingly.
"Ooooh! Yummy boys" They cried out excitedly their clothes gone as they lunged after the two boys.
Dante and Soul screamed in terror as they turned to run but were stopped by a giant pumpkin, they glared at each other and sped down the hallway into the broom closet locking themselves inside.
"Whew! I thought we'd all be raped by those mental chicks"
Dante turned on the light revealing Black star with a cheesy smile on his face.
Soul held a mop tightly inside his hands as he backed his way into the corner of the closet.
"Black star I thought you were to surpass God, why can't you handle a bunch of hormone raged girls?"
Black star's face turned red with anger as he stood up his fist clenched in a tight ball as he defended his honor.
"I am Black star nothing can defeat me!"
His face suddenly turned pink as he blushed his shoulders hunched over as he fell face first into the ground. He mumbled as he lay his face into the ground.
"It's just I don't know how to deal with girls"
Dante and Soul laughed holding their stomachs painfully, their faces turned red.
Black star stood up and snarled at the two of them.
"It's not funny, it's gross! Tsubaki left a ball of bloody tissue floating in the toilet, I almost died when she told me where it came from! I don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die!"
Dante and Soul's faces turned over with confusion, as they scratched their heads.
"What are you talking about?" Soul asked curiously.
Dante nodded his head "Yeah, what do you mean?"
Black star leaned towards them and began to whisper in their ears, their smiled quickly turned to horrified expressions as all the color drained from their faces.
"Ahhhhhhh! My virgin ears!" Dante yelled as he covered them with his hands and fell to his knees screaming to the heavens.
Dante banged his head up against the wall as he clawed at his face mumbling under his breath repeatedly.
"Please mommy, don't let them touch me anymore, please"
Black star stood and smiled, his hands at his waist as he laughed.
"Not so tough anymore now are ya!"
Just then there was a loud thud at the door, they all turned their heads as they heard the voices of the girls.
"Come play with us, we just want to explore your bodies, please?"
There was another loud thud as the door cracked and began to splinter. The three of them huddled into the corner holding onto each other terrified as the door began to crumbled and the girls stepped in towards them, their shadows covered them menacingly blocking all sense of light.
Dante held onto the frame of the closet door as the other two boys clawed at the ground as they were dragged off into the next room. Dante tried to pull himself from their grip but his hands slipped and he was pulled into the room as the door slammed shut and locked.
Their screams could be heard from the neighbors as they listened with shocked expressions on their faces.
"No please I don't wanna be the girl!"
"No that doesn't go in there, no, noooo!"
"What are you doing?! No it hurts please, n-ahhhh!"
(Two hours later in the living room)
Senna belle sat up and stretched yawning sleepily, She looked around the house at the mess confused.
Everyone was gone including the girls, she stood up and stepped over Blaire who lay sleeping in Cat form on the ground spanking a fish in her sleep as she murmured bad fishy quietly.
Senna walked down the hallway and opened the door to Dante's room, she stood in shock as she saw Dante, Black star and Soul huddled in small balls in the corner with ripped boxers and shredded shirts hanging from their bodies as they rocked back and forth in fetal positing sucking their thumbs. They all glanced at Senna and screamed in fear as they Jumped through the bedroom window and ran down the street naked their clothes lay shredded and stained in the lawn.
"No, not again!" They all screamed simultaneously.
Senna stood and watched confused.
"I'm not even gonna ask them later"
