Lost to the Wind

Version 5.0 - 1/3/01

For AnimeAngelVidel

Warnings: Premature death.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT, or the characters. I make no money off these fanfics I write. The song was written by Michael W. Smith and Wayne Kirkpatrick.

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Inspired by the song "Hello, Good-Bye" seen below. As for the dragon balls. Don't ask. They aren't used in this because you can't use them in real life, and this was written to try and convey the pain of losing a child.

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"Isn't it great?" Videl asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Yeah, Pan doesn't seem to mind the idea of having a little sister, in fact she seems to be looking forward to it." Gohan commented and smiled.

Videl playfully swatted at him, "Who says it's going to be a girl? I kind of want a chibi Gohan." she laughed.

"Collage intuition." Gohan said pointing to his head.

"I hate it when you make jokes." Videl replied trying to keep a straight face.

Gohan came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders and kissed Videl on the cheek. "I'll make a mental note on that." Gohan joked.

"The baby will be coming any day." Videl sighed and smiled.

"Why did you find out the baby's gender earlier?" Gohan asked out of the blue.

"Having doubts about it being a girl?" Videl teased.

"No, I was just wondering." Gohan replied.

"I wanted it to be a surprise." Videl smiled and turned around to hug Gohan. "You remember what the first time was like, don't you." Videl said, laughing, remembering Pan's life.

"Yeah," Gohan recalled the day like yesterday. "Sure was worth it though."

"Well, just be ready. Okay?" Videl told Gohan.

***

Later that day Gohan was reading.

"Gohan?" Videl called.

"What is it?"

Videl gulped. "It's time!"

"Now?" he asked moving to grab her.

She nodded her head.

He flew her to the hospital and checked her in, then he waited nervously in the waiting room. Hours passed by. Then finally the nurse came in to the waiting room.

"Son Gohan?" she asked.

"Yes." he replied.

The nurses voice quavered. "You have a beautiful baby girl." she answered.

Gohan wasn't concerned with taunting Videl about the babies gender though. He could sense the nurse was holding something back.

"Would you follow me?" she asked. Gohan stood and followed her.

They walked into a room with incubators and the nurse lead Gohan over to where Videl was standing. Gohan stopped and almost hesitantly looked through the plastic at the small little baby inside.

What he saw was a tiny little girl, struggling to survive.

He looked back at Videl questioning her with his eyes, but she didn't notice. Videl had her eyes closed and was softly crying.

He looked over towards the nurse. She had a sad expression on her face and looked as though tears would start rolling down her cheeks too.

"She's just not strong enough." Videl sobbed.

"If it makes you feel any better." the nurse offered, "It wasn't your fault. It was a natural birth defect. She was born frail."

Gohan's despair mirrored Videl's in every way, but his heart sank even deeper when their eyes met. The feeling of not being able to help his child, and not being able to alleviate the pain his beloved one was going through was sickeningly depressing.

"They don't expect her to live more than a few days." Videl managed to say before she started crying again.

"We'll do everything we can for her, but..." the nurse trailed off, "it doesn't look like it will do much good. Would you like to name her?" she asked.

Videl grew defensive through the tears. "Of course we will."

Gohan nodded silently agreeing. No daughter of his would die without a name.

Videl looked lovingly at her child. "How about Sakura?" she asked.

Gohan considered it for a moment before agreeing.

***

Gohan and Videl spent every hour awake beside their child. They stayed by baby Sakura throughout the time they were together. Sometimes it looked as if she were improving. Then she would take a drastic plunge. By the second day she was barely holding on. Gohan and Videl didn't sleep at all that day. They were constantly by her side. Before she died, Videl and Gohan had one chance to hold her.

Sometime in the morning of the third day, baby Sakura died in her mother's arms. Both parents cried over the loss of their second child. And there was a gaping void, a feeling of emptiness in the hearts of the two parents. It was a sad day for all at the hospital. Pan was asleep was asleep when it happened, and in the morning when she woke up she noticed her baby sister wasn't in the incubator anymore.

"Where did Sakura-chan go?" she asked innocently.

Videl started to softly cry. Gohan barely holding back tears of his own, took her aside and explained. "Your sister...isn't with us anymore." he breathed a sigh of sadness. "She left a little while ago."

"Is mom sad because she didn't get to say good-bye?" Pan asked.

Gohan nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"Will we ever see Sakura-chan again?" she asked.

Again Gohan shook his head no. "I'm afraid not." he replied.

Pan buried her face in her father's arms and also cried. Not fully understanding, but knowing that she wouldn't see her baby sister anymore.

Gohan looked down at his first born. It's true what they say. He thought sadly. Burying a child is the hardest thing a parent will ever have to face. He paused in his thoughts, briefly. It's as though she were her name, like she was a tiny cherry blossom lost to the wind.

The family drove home, all the while feeling like something was missing.

Going home from the hospital after being pregnant should be a happy occasion, not a grave, sad drive such as this. Videl muttered to herself.

When they got home, Videl and Gohan decided to tell each of their parents.

Videl drove to her father's house, while Gohan flew to his parents, taking Pan along with him. He landed outside of his parent's door, and when he knocked Goten answered it. The younger Saiya-jin hybrid saw the grave look on his brother's face and immediately went to get their parents. When he came back, Gohan asked Goten to take Pan and keep her out of the discussion, which Goten did willingly.

The three of them, Chi Chi, Goku, and Gohan sat down at the table.

"Well?" Goku asked encouragingly.

"I didn't tell you right away because I thought you might get your hopes up." Gohan began. "Videl and I had a daughter named Sakura." he said pausing. "She died this morning."

Chi Chi's eyes welled up with tears. She bit her lip and tried not to let them escape. Goku just sat there in shock, then he bent his head down and put his hand on his fore head.

You should have told us. Chi Chi whispered in her mind. "How's Videl?"

Gohan gulped, "She and I are taking it hard."

"Pan?" Goku asked, the shock not fully hitting him.

"We were wondering if you'd watch her for a couple days." Gohan asked. "She doesn't need to be around us, in what Videl and I going through."

"Losing a child is a parent's worst fear." Chi Chi told him. "I know I was always scared that you wouldn't come back from those battles." she said with a distant look in her eyes.

"I'm beginning to understand that now." Gohan replied shaking.

After talking with his parents and brother for a bit he decided he'd better go home and be with Videl.

When he got home he found Videl sitting in a chair next to the table crying, sitting there twisting the table cloth in her hands, staring blankly at nothing through the tears. Gohan walked over silently and stood beside her for a few moments. Then she blinked and looked up at him, as if suddenly aware of his presence. Her eyes were filled with tears, and Gohan could swear his heart broke seeing her like that. He pulled Videl up to a standing position and kept looking at her, staring back into those blank eyes. Videl buried her head in his arms and started to cry again as he wrapped his arms around her tighter, protectively. Then he started to cry too. He put his head down next to Videl's and cried with her.

The next morning Videl woke up and found herself alone in the house. Gohan must have gone out to get something. She got dressed and wondered to the kitchen, but she didn't feel like eating. She went to the door, surprised, she found a small cardboard package.

Videl picked the package up and took it inside. She set it down on the table and examined it. There were no markings on the outside. So she opened it up and found a CD that looked like it only had one track on it. Figuring she had nothing to lose she set it in the CD player and listened as the song came on.

Where's the navigator of your destiny,

Where is the dealer of this hand,

Who can explain,

Life and it's brevity,

'Cause there is nothing here,

That I can understand,

You and I,

Have barely met,

And I just don't want to let go of you yet,

Noah, hello, good-bye,

I'll see you on the other side,

Noah, sweet child of mine,

I'll see you on the other side,

And so I hold your tiny hand in mine,

For the hardest thing I've ever had to face,

Heaven calls for you,

Before it calls for me,

When you get there save me a place,

A place where I can share your smile,

And I can hold you for more than just a while.

Noah, hello, good-bye,

I'll see you on the other side,

Noah, sweet child of mine,

I'll see you on the other side,

Noah, hello, good-bye,

I'll see you on the other side,

Noah, sweet child of mine,

I'll see you on the other side.

Half way through the song Videl began to cry. She opened up the lyrics, she read along, though it was hard because the words kept blurring as she cried. When the song had finished she read the note at the end.

"Written for Noah, who only lived two and a half days." she read out loud.

Her heart ached as she read that. She wanted to reach out to the parents of this child, to let them know she felt exactly like them.

Suddenly, Videl heard a noise and looked up to see Gohan coming in. She quickly tried to dry her eyes and shut the case. She was too late though. Gohan had already seen that she had something and went over to investigate.

He played the song so that he could hear it. Videl just sat looking at his eyes, watching for some sort of emotion. He was concentrating on the words hard, and they were touching him deep down inside. He looked over at Videl. Then they both started crying again. Videl went over to Gohan and they embraced in a tight hug as if drawing strength from one another.

"I won't ever be able to forget her." she sobbed.

"People weren't meant to be forgotten." Gohan said in a soothing voice.

Videl gazed up at him questioning him with eyes. Gohan broke away and brought out a picture frame with a picture of Sakura. A tear slid down his face as Videl took the picture into her hands, slightly turning away from him. She held the picture close to her heart and whimpered slightly. Then Gohan slid his arms around her waist and leaned his head on her shoulder. Into her ear he whispered:

"They were meant to be remembered."

The End