Square-Enix is the sole owner of the characters and settings I have used here.

PROTECTIVE COLORATION

Nooj: If you're done playing, let's go.

Gippal: Chill out.

Nooj: Lost your nerve?

Gippal: Hey, we're talking about Vegnagun. How the heck do you fight that thing? We can't even walk up to it without freakin' it out.

Nooj: Or making it mad. But I've got a plan.

Gippal: If it doesn't work?

Nooj: Death will be my apology.

Gippal: Whatever, man. When a Deathseeker dies, that's no apology. What about Leblanc?

Nooj: Well, she—

-X-


"...she's not in this. Gippal, have you ever heard of protective coloration?"

The one-eyed man replied, "I've heard it mentioned but not in any detail. What's this all about?"


"Some animals, when they want to be unnoticed or mislead their predators, take on the appearance of something else. A butterfly may have marking which make it look like an owl or a bird may be able to fade into the pattern of a meadow. It's a useful thing, this protective coloration."

"So, what does that have to do with LeBlanc?"

"She's my protective coloration."

"Oh, I get it. While everybody thinks you and she ... you're actually doing it with somebody else. Paine! I knew it all the time."

Nooj shook his head. "Not Paine."

"Then who? And why do you have to hide it anyway?"

"Since the chances of our getting out of this place alive are slim to none, I'll tell you. You won't have any way to gossip about it."

Gippal sniffed, "I'm not a gossip."

"Sure you are. You love to hear and pass along scandals."


"OK. I'm a gossip. Now tell me who you're boinking."

"If that word means what I think it does ... do you know Dona?"

"The ex-Summoner? The really big one?" Gippal's mouth dropped open. "You're doing her? Wow! It must be like climbing a hot Mount Gagazet."

Nooj drew himself up and snarled, "What do you mean by that?"

"Just that she's a huge woman, gorgeous and built like a ..." He stopped himself at the glare from his companion. "Just that she's so tall and full-figured." He finished lamely.

"It may have escaped your notice that I am not a pygmy like you. And I like not having to worry that my left leg will cause an injury to the woman I'm embracing."

"Yeah, I can see that. And I'm not a pygmy. I prefer to think of myself as compact. A lot of man in a convenient package. You still haven't mentioned why you want to use what you call protective coloration. Dona's not taken; you've got every right to put the moves on her."

Nooj turned a little away. "Have you seen Barthello?"

"You're boinking Barthello, too?" Gippal's eye got rounder.

With an unexpectedly quick movement, Nooj shot out his cane and adroitly tripped the Al Bhed. "No, I'm not boinking Barthello."

Picking himself up and brushing off the crushed flowers which clung to his knees, Gippal asked, "Then why bring him up?"

"He thinks he has prior claim on the lady and I have no desire to involve myself in a humiliating battle over her favours."

"What's the matter? Afraid you might lose?"

"Not that so much as he might break off some more parts of me and I'm not that well supplied with expendable bits anymore. I can't expect your people to keep making replacements if I don't take care of what I have. Hence, protective coloration."

"I begin to see your point. He's a big one... and mean!"

"A real man-mountain." Nooj agreed and the two men continued their walk, exchanging less than complimentary observations on the strong-man.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

1